 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!6 J7 g4 n" K+ b1 J' I! ~
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写5 B' P, m7 o; S' N9 E7 [% M
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2 S& Z" K7 q; U r/ W6 z1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it' I+ R/ k/ r& g! I9 }% C) g
down.( B6 ?7 `5 x( i& a1 Q3 {1 R5 C
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 2 C0 G: V6 G: _% i7 Y
you
- m' z% ^4 k# H% Rleaving it down.
! [7 l$ ?* s4 c. J8 ^: y7 k1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?4 F3 E: P. o3 y& Z! ]
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
3 |% _0 ]; x4 c% E$ BLet it be.! T0 S8 m2 L" x0 X" V
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
6 q$ m/ M$ L3 {+ rthat way.$ ^/ k+ Y6 r* F% e" E, E
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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/ ]$ X2 h2 X2 s3 w1. Crying is blackmail.
: r: ~, D7 z! g) @- k1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
. R# |8 r( u2 U; u! QLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
: b# u$ y( Q: D& y( M6 OStrong hints do not work!; A- l4 {6 ~" {' F
Obvious hints do not work!
5 G. c3 Y# D& c- W, m# jJust say it!
7 t, x& y+ S' ~7 k! s: @1,你想要什么就说. k0 X E& @% @# W+ d8 G
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!$ W4 b3 P) s. g/ L: B3 c% y0 W
9 B4 _- |( D8 V+ F) \' n' O/ ]1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 4 u; X; C: e4 _- A
question.& U" g0 @. N* E8 P3 l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)/ U$ G: x) w- V& K
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
$ h8 X$ U1 }# k2 Q# `* u( [+ {) ]what we do.
# u3 @8 q! M' ]9 y- q0 GSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
) |+ N7 b8 s4 @, D/ c! @: Z4 K; S1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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+ k* O5 I2 r) @8 w: T/ s G1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.# v+ F1 ?4 Y) n* Q) Z! W' }
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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0 N1 G2 l1 d) r' K, m1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 d/ s' l) i2 X' K8 P* `6 d7 P7 z2 ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.: ]/ h. x. y1 a, j0 F0 [. ^! ^
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了$ k8 }8 \; E; }% b# \. U( }7 d
9 a* G5 \6 c6 A$ N) V u& V1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
# g: b5 P! a/ q4 d- wto act like soap opera guys.0 ]( G5 M, T0 Y! E5 Z
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us./ Q+ |& d0 `; I% j; D- y( a1 W
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 H. R1 L+ ~8 H% W9 B" V/ Pmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
% [- ~" X! B- W6 n+ X1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
, b: l% y" ~5 N+ G5 g! c e1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it+ G. G2 u" C" G3 {3 X2 f$ b7 h
done. Not both.( g8 ?& A' p4 k) F( \9 H
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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4 |: Z* @/ i/ Z& d2 Z1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during5 k1 I9 U- q( p7 R+ D0 m' t
commercials.( G, ^6 m; S6 s- R
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. l. H. B4 J2 O2 g6 Y% A
1 Z: @& X& S1 w0 J4 N7 R. n* ]% {/ ? f1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 W) O6 D, i) U1 X! Y
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ c, M( M7 E1 {5 Q, d) zWe have no idea what mauve is.4 l# F8 A+ c4 ^* l- V- A* B* |. r
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.- c' e0 \. z( ~% B8 l3 L
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like& a A9 d! d' V6 m' I( S$ ?
nothing's wrong.
6 N2 q! d4 l0 s& A- M$ UWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.7 O" ~" c0 X1 Q
4 _: g$ K3 o8 |1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ ~5 m- K# R4 f6 P% c% w
you don't want to hear.5 T* E( K+ e6 H6 A+ \! |
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
) T2 `8 t* l* o: a- C+ @fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
& N3 {. T3 p" A' Pdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 w! q5 J% A# D; P4 V' y+ P
% J8 g1 Q$ U, e1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.2 _+ \- ]' r2 T
' I! g x7 ~0 p1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!0 z4 g; m6 |8 C0 ?' f
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1. Thank you for reading this.3 i5 Q$ ?7 P! p5 M. [
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
- T- S8 J8 j3 O9 C/ t) n/ kBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& D6 W+ a J9 F8 C% ?
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
$ Z$ [" w" E1 Z, n- u5 IPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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