 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1 d; F3 G5 N8 _' P0 V+ e
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写* @$ [- E: [0 D' }! h
" I1 J- Y# n# \) e1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. i; `0 M" A3 U/ n5 O8 F
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫+ A+ r2 X: n: J# [0 d- }
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it. M/ [# x0 z3 u- P
down.; b) N" G; K' P \' D g. x
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 2 o! u6 e* A- b5 i1 p8 l
you
% p2 {0 l& \1 c- @leaving it down.0 x W4 ]( C! ?' n0 s5 E
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？5 z% a9 ?8 Z+ [/ Y8 |: B9 ?0 p7 W+ U: l
9 q; A1 M: ^4 d5 s1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides." L- S) S& l5 U. @% m4 S0 _
Let it be.
' c3 \" i! m) A. {, n3 u1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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8 R: L+ s5 s8 e4 h @1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
2 L9 k& k D( N/ F# T7 a9 F& fthat way.
, k3 [1 ]% `0 u' k1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！) z- V/ s! {6 j) n5 |
4 T$ Y. n# D3 _4 w1. Crying is blackmail.
& M3 z/ m) @- y1，哭泣是敲诈& [ L/ [( T2 N1 V g
0 u/ P, o. ^4 ?. ^1. Ask for what you want.
; n" n, j5 L# D1 x* mLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!9 l! `2 m. G( e
Strong hints do not work!
, F3 t) f }, w1 _7 p' }0 O! a( P1 [Obvious hints do not work!: C, _3 m# I7 N* ]7 ]8 a5 e
Just say it!3 Z2 [ n5 j b6 V# V- e) C B% }
1，你想要什么就说3 W* z K `2 C$ b8 f3 S }7 x' h
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
* T% `7 U& ]! p! P& z4 I- Iquestion.
0 R! M$ a$ q: o6 j$ e- w) Y+ D1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）. T8 c& r' j C1 o1 j
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
3 Q0 ]: V( B1 y+ v: D! |/ Iwhat we do.
) o, h5 y6 N( DSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
$ {4 `4 l; |# ^6 g2 |/ S1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。( i$ Q: z8 o' @6 T) g
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
" o% T8 W/ V, ]" O6 D1 v/ L1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去- T% l1 W- Z! r1 ]6 D
7 c; \" s8 d0 R1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
! g h* v9 M* N4 l2 {In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.$ C/ u) ] Z! w; a/ ~3 O/ z( _
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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: a% z; e/ Z. C1 s+ \/ B1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
% C9 S4 Z1 O1 p( \) P2 Jto act like soap opera guys.* W( p" |2 }+ M/ H! W) }
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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) z T1 }' ~- s1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.# K* i7 q2 W% o8 b4 `2 j1 \' _5 c9 N
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们9 T8 s) {: o8 ~- X$ n, H; S+ I
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
0 \5 X7 }5 t# r8 dmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
5 h3 ], m9 Y) n) ^' s I4 k1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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4 x7 M: |' ]9 l# U; r1 J& Y7 i（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）! I1 F* X" r3 e; j9 l" }
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it8 |- P7 [4 w+ P% }
done. Not both.. r8 m6 M+ _# I5 y# X+ f
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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# ~1 W3 {0 _ Z f) j1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during; ^, X8 {+ m! U- Y& b5 k2 x
commercials.
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; M L i: Q4 K C1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
0 r. k1 K* J" P* r9 R$ J1 c# XPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.( w& T9 x5 h/ [+ k' _. K4 ^
We have no idea what mauve is.6 b2 E4 B. O! j1 U
6 k( @' k& Y" J; L1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.& t% A& T5 y8 r* x
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
5 x8 V* m4 e% U/ z! V# X, M+ \5 Inothing's wrong.
" t. z: A9 q7 NWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! {9 O% b( a) e* A$ | z
' }8 L ]4 z7 D: X9 K1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
9 s/ x6 }/ r. O/ {* wyou don't want to hear.! d" {6 I. a$ W( p# J; `0 V) b( \8 d* o
; h1 r, Z% p. [, K1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is: @" `% A, q* `) `+ ~: |
fine...Really.
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- |2 [- ^) w2 F2 O' p1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
a$ g6 {: v4 P0 F* Q/ w5 g9 Hdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.- I w5 `8 p. D! e$ U) N
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1. You have enough clothes.
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|( R% ^9 F! k; |& o5 }' S2 `1. You have too many shoes.3 ^- N; f1 }- g( Q2 p
3 v2 h7 c; ?: ]: h8 k" K1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;4 A5 z' k% b [4 I; d
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 j1 A/ Y5 G) _" [0 e$ h3 APass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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