 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
7 x/ D+ b( t+ i! t8 \- ]请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写* q3 }6 p5 G, w# W$ ]- |, h
& i) S8 l9 X$ c. k7 `) {% x* J1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
# I5 D- d' z/ A1 j4 c: o+ i" S1 L1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫4 ?& f% r6 W, J
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
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We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
" ^3 v$ ^: i w3 K5 c$ A; l1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.1 T3 x$ s$ ^! h
Let it be., }$ x9 N/ [* p
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it8 e' i" Z' X: f" ?/ r
that way.& M8 x: Y9 T- k) R; x% @+ y! k
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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2 l6 i9 S: J+ f- a. o) E1. Crying is blackmail.
& j6 C: L5 W4 _8 H1,哭泣是敲诈% P6 Y' D9 g) k$ @! C7 E% Z, g
3 X+ |2 [+ d7 t% M: M3 P. y) {1. Ask for what you want.
; U# M D$ v0 j1 x+ DLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
R, \: _* [, [7 ~3 S2 ^2 yStrong hints do not work!$ V2 _+ @8 _( g% M; k
Obvious hints do not work!$ w- }( @; u2 O# F, t5 _( s' @
Just say it!
, o3 [0 e7 w9 c, \ u \; L4 l1,你想要什么就说( J' r+ F6 _% _8 C: F
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)) v# ]8 l& r. x" `) e- d5 b+ `
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
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5 ~1 F8 B) G. A" C! @Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) ^3 a$ e0 @ A5 G3 C" E
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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" c' B6 P7 ~! L6 n) J% j" |7 l1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
. x( }& h7 H; n- n1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去' Y: p \- @9 m$ a
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument., ^+ }" l( |9 U. `' ?, \/ L
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.* A" H9 G: L) I9 P2 Y# _
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了3 d- V `: j0 G5 Z, N" V6 U* i
" V+ Y: v, e. y; N4 {2 O1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us4 Z: D& l, w1 G
to act like soap opera guys.7 ]# [, j6 `8 y, b' J- O
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.5 z" E+ k* t! z/ Y1 _
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们: ~0 H' Q* f' h2 p- J3 A, |
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways t$ h+ J2 l6 B7 T( ~$ `" N: C
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.2 j. H) N; ]0 d/ ?+ |) E! ~
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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5 r. r! z) I* m/ Q n(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
1 I" d+ w) F" @ `& H/ {% C; i+ t0 @1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
# l4 }; R8 g6 jdone. Not both.9 i3 K: m# I2 s, t) l& [$ y
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself. F: M. q9 B' j) k3 v. X
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during# @! @8 t8 [+ Y1 q# G. ?( u2 v9 O
commercials.
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# s" `9 F( A/ Y9 w1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.2 E6 N8 P1 w8 L( z% u6 Q" K9 |
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
0 I8 h+ d" b* ~0 J$ z. `2 M) JPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ B: [7 b0 i3 Q. r, e% P$ iWe have no idea what mauve is." P" Y7 S' Y$ U2 U" B
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.+ w* _$ N& `& q
' j( V. X) r3 g" G) J# M1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like" P& g d) [7 N9 E
nothing's wrong.
: O' Z1 ^' G8 n! |1 R* ~& q* r* e+ @We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& A3 ~& ]! R$ A- b) V
1 r5 ]; _% E$ W. ]1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer8 c1 U9 U$ e3 @/ ~6 T" e; q, A
you don't want to hear.6 F% ^; f. U; u9 _
7 q/ x2 R) j+ w$ a* B1 Z' U1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is" ^; _, V0 Y0 u
fine...Really.
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; a, G" X! Y7 }+ I# J$ p$ }* a1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
" c. g: k$ G7 Y/ Z, r9 {discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.3 Q- {+ G) L& f8 \) u0 z0 J) z
; O1 F/ J4 U; L4 p& A* O4 G/ ~1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! x# @7 u: _1 B4 U X, \( ?
4 a# o" F; s; `1 U& @3 Z4 L3 {4 @1. Thank you for reading this.
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! A I8 i9 f# J6 XYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
/ |( B- I, L/ D( O% l2 U' {4 l( {$ pBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
/ @+ ]8 u$ y2 y% c( vPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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