 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!( h) Q/ `) U9 Q# K. w( |
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写$ L9 W7 d# @+ H* e/ W+ x
0 f1 I! L! u, [& D/ K1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
/ L' }6 \) U+ R0 Z1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫 e9 ^3 I. L" W7 W9 r
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it$ e0 a7 b5 f" G% G
down.0 H3 G7 p% [6 a2 A4 E" y
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.! n' I6 S/ Y6 T- V/ f, _2 x
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？# |% c5 `( q6 G" U5 t2 L* O* W! ~
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.- A& M5 S) k$ U& u, a5 P# O
Let it be.
; Z* E6 R: ~) ~- a1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去9 s; g* J$ g" b! x) g% j8 }
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
" h* d& e6 I! q/ _" wthat way.0 T4 B# F; |3 T+ R5 m
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！- [- h. R/ o# T, I
& f3 X6 J- K/ r4 x" M1. Crying is blackmail.
9 i+ `& j% [& Q. [. @; o1，哭泣是敲诈+ ~# d& A- X9 b' {5 B
5 c7 Q4 A; V1 \# S. K# m1. Ask for what you want.
- G O( @0 | v2 BLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!0 r, v- ?( w2 Z0 J7 Y T$ Y c) R
Strong hints do not work!
+ ?; Z( z9 X: l# a+ n6 z- w9 L5 IObvious hints do not work!- e9 L) U9 W& Q, |0 Y0 }
Just say it!# }! a5 E; G; W
1，你想要什么就说9 q% D$ J8 @# S5 @7 }" `7 L
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！- r8 _- C' I5 Q+ D0 f! f4 l
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
* _! h i4 c' T |4 h, Aquestion.
$ `% a8 Q# Y( T1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）% H) G/ C/ D! c' j2 r$ P
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
" [* n X0 Y7 A. T* rwhat we do.
" c- H1 m$ a% n" O( h+ n6 i& {Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 a4 K/ J/ M* k7 a. N1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
}/ b1 w+ ~- i0 i7 R- Y; R h1 \1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去! y% a5 x# m9 L3 ?5 @% F2 T
i* L# @. f3 m7 M" e1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
# K$ \' q8 ^9 c1 wIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
* ]) W7 z) F# o我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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* M+ c: S, s) q0 L! H# Y1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
# v. l/ I4 _" U: z4 e: Qto act like soap opera guys.
: S7 R! ^- j9 F# k6 }* @# g1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( z+ }+ ^+ \" _" C1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways1 L! d: Q" C/ N! Q, i
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
4 u9 l3 i# h, c# G8 e5 K1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。& Q! o) \4 Z" P& ^
# T. S, H; M8 \（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）% O4 g# X* z: n* g/ ?
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
% |8 H4 [% }+ I( E W0 Vdone. Not both.
+ o9 n6 o; n- S' @) F, [If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.2 t! y. ?* g z
% j- F" E. S8 X. u" T1 o5 f1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during' H' z. @% L9 W. r+ l5 V
commercials.- e- s0 q0 q4 ?" Y
: W) W# y; ~' k) v. ^1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.! x+ Q8 V' H2 W* T
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings., b8 W G" T+ V
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.( {! s: v) c) N. @+ c
We have no idea what mauve is.- O* `- U, R% `+ ]! V4 I9 N) p
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.% s5 o- w" d; C# k& R5 e
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like) A0 z$ W" c _" g4 t
nothing's wrong.
0 c6 l9 J, U {- }: N9 TWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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9 M' o5 s( D( V/ k1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
& O u+ N- }7 z- x( h1 U# Dyou don't want to hear. x: k! B. {- E6 L; @4 e
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
+ {/ S# a" E$ J' w' {% z: |fine...Really.
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* _) }% W+ ~4 y" e5 E1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to% C& M* P. Z5 E' Y; Z
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.+ s0 R ?/ ~, N* J l
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1. You have enough clothes.3 Y0 D, J& |( i! d5 Z) b" Q
! f" x" Q9 i4 A/ ^7 t2 q' M1. You have too many shoes.
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0 E+ ^5 j( W4 s% g- G1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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/ ^: u. ^5 C2 N' J" P4 u1. Thank you for reading this.( x$ R" E/ k6 S6 ~& P
; k# n9 S; D! P1 R6 ~- ^3 gYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;3 ]/ _- m5 v$ Y. ^# ]: D; u4 i* t
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 ^4 x9 R8 Z( b+ i: }8 P+ ]Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
