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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!6 J7 g4 n" K+ b1 J' I! ~
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写5 B' P, m7 o; S' N9 E7 [% M
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2 S& Z" K7 q; U  r/ W6 z1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it' I+ R/ k/ r& g! I9 }% C) g
down.( B6 ?7 `5 x( i& a1 Q3 {1 R5 C
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 2 C0 G: V6 G: _% i7 Y
you
- m' z% ^4 k# H% Rleaving it down.
! [7 l$ ?* s4 c. J8 ^: y7 k1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?4 F3 E: P. o3 y& Z! ]
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
3 |% _0 ]; x4 c% E$ BLet it be.! T0 S8 m2 L" x0 X" V
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
6 q$ m/ M$ L3 {+ rthat way.$ ^/ k+ Y6 r* F% e" E, E
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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/ ]$ X2 h2 X2 s3 w1. Crying is blackmail.
: r: ~, D7 z! g) @- k1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
. R# |8 r( u2 U; u! QLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
: b# u$ y( Q: D& y( M6 OStrong hints do not work!; A- l4 {6 ~" {' F
Obvious hints do not work!
5 G. c3 Y# D& c- W, m# jJust say it!
7 t, x& y+ S' ~7 k! s: @1,你想要什么就说. k0 X  E& @% @# W+ d8 G
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!$ W4 b3 P) s. g/ L: B3 c% y0 W

9 B4 _- |( D8 V+ F) \' n' O/ ]1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 4 u; X; C: e4 _- A
question.& U" g0 @. N* E8 P3 l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)/ U$ G: x) w- V& K
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
$ h8 X$ U1 }# k2 Q# `* u( [+ {) ]what we do.
# u3 @8 q! M' ]9 y- q0 GSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
) |+ N7 b8 s4 @, D/ c! @: Z4 K; S1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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+ k* O5 I2 r) @8 w: T/ s  G1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.# v+ F1 ?4 Y) n* Q) Z! W' }
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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0 N1 G2 l1 d) r' K, m1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 d/ s' l) i2 X' K8 P* `6 d7 P7 z2 ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.: ]/ h. x. y1 a, j0 F0 [. ^! ^
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了$ k8 }8 \; E; }% b# \. U( }7 d

9 a* G5 \6 c6 A$ N) V  u& V1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
# g: b5 P! a/ q4 d- wto act like soap opera guys.0 ]( G5 M, T0 Y! E5 Z
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us./ Q+ |& d0 `; I% j; D- y( a1 W
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 H. R1 L+ ~8 H% W9 B" V/ Pmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
% [- ~" X! B- W6 n+ X1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
& q$ S0 N4 S7 A1 Y$ g. O4 m. I) _2 O5 v& F/ d6 n6 c! @
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
, b: l% y" ~5 N+ G5 g! c  e1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it+ G. G2 u" C" G3 {3 X2 f$ b7 h
done. Not both.( g8 ?& A' p4 k) F( \9 H
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
' b% c( t. g) N5 J  @# ^
4 |: Z* @/ i/ Z& d2 Z1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during5 k1 I9 U- q( p7 R+ D0 m' t
commercials.( G, ^6 m; S6 s- R
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.  l. H. B4 J2 O2 g6 Y% A

1 Z: @& X& S1 w0 J4 N7 R. n* ]% {/ ?  f1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 W) O6 D, i) U1 X! Y
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ c, M( M7 E1 {5 Q, d) zWe have no idea what mauve is.4 l# F8 A+ c4 ^* l- V- A* B* |. r
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.- c' e0 \. z( ~% B8 l3 L
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like& a  A9 d! d' V6 m' I( S$ ?
nothing's wrong.
6 N2 q! d4 l0 s& A- M$ UWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.7 O" ~" c0 X1 Q

4 _: g$ K3 o8 |1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ ~5 m- K# R4 f6 P% c% w
you don't want to hear.5 T* E( K+ e6 H6 A+ \! |
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
) T2 `8 t* l* o: a- C+ @fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
& N3 {. T3 p" A' Pdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 w! q5 J% A# D; P4 V' y+ P

% J8 g1 Q$ U, e1. You have enough clothes.
3 p% [' m: l0 l' a) ^+ i. Z: p6 ^- R  I, w, x, P
1. You have too many shoes.2 _+ \- ]' r2 T

' I! g  x7 ~0 p1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!0 z4 g; m6 |8 C0 ?' f
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1. Thank you for reading this.3 i5 Q$ ?7 P! p5 M. [
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
- T- S8 J8 j3 O9 C/ t) n/ kBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& D6 W+ a  J9 F8 C% ?
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
$ Z$ [" w" E1 Z, n- u5 IPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。8 D' P* k! a7 h. Y6 h6 y4 U
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。1 p. J" Y1 f6 C
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' D' J7 l4 z. Q/ a" }1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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/ H+ q6 z/ H+ `- q1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.4 B9 _( p! \3 _5 Y
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!1 L, n2 M6 D# r
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.: t4 z9 c- o( s0 s0 p# I2 W9 M" m
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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4 J& c4 l/ V# O. M1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
" r* {+ e0 U/ v/ W. L' S. K如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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/ w" D, Z* v) K, l( S1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.) }0 l' p8 ]+ F2 s3 `
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.6 a! m" X  J; Q8 C$ C0 h# m
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
/ E. h+ r* g- h, d* b; WALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
1 T+ u  D2 V! k* h3 u8 I# J7 ^所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。' u5 q" j! l( a3 u; }
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置5 C1 R7 l3 ?' d( u6 a$ D4 h

% v; `2 i4 h, ]' F, B还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.1 w0 m7 F. R" s' W$ E; V
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
- d4 ^7 F3 \% d% q不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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, c& h, I3 F& c; l4 v1. You have enough clothes.
3 W) p0 h. F: C; D5 h+ x2 Z( L你的衣服足够多了
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$ e9 ?# }! Z3 _0 X; K1. You have too many shoes.* x' ~& V: H  T- G& F
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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6 n2 [! g" X' H* N% E4 \1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!6 {" D( h6 a( @
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?1 g2 s+ V7 F; H4 l
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1. Thank you for reading this.
2 P: F/ p' |# ]) {多谢你能看完这个
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping./ h) j+ i3 F- i4 c% d0 {
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置' I* H9 o2 y7 R( B/ P0 v& B5 Z
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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& r6 @8 d- T5 s应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:, z5 P, C5 o* O  T: R
1. You have enough clothes.4 u; `4 ~5 n. o% A: u( c
你的衣服足够多了6 f3 v+ T4 `8 q, n' s

0 \5 m7 U* Q2 Q5 W1. You have too many shoes.& e  U* W; u" ~4 @% V
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?7 T( @8 Q! M6 a3 d: q

9 \; [: C8 {. T% E----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
  h$ D% a1 G. |Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
) P1 ~6 B; M" GStrong hints do not work!9 T8 Z  ]& o" ]$ O. I2 H  q7 L' z4 j
Obvious hints do not work!
' a+ @# q; C* u: v4 kJust say it!
0 D2 o* l$ Q. k4 ]* g& x: s' p# m1,你想要什么就说! _1 D. C: [/ G8 Q5 x4 ]
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!$ [0 ~  r1 A$ o
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:: a& P& u8 C& P# F
1. Ask for what you want.4 D- Q& i) C% s4 D+ Z4 e# R9 p
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
% T, s3 s5 w) P- y7 ?( E* SStrong hints do not work!( H2 S, X: x9 g
Obvious hints do not work!2 g/ n' z$ z: K1 n9 G  X" z
Just say it!% f4 Q6 S* A, m! i2 D7 ~% n
1,你想要什么就说( R( \! P4 A$ {6 |* g. t: U
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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8 z; S7 ^1 M( q. c1 T瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
8 r/ Q1 w2 ^4 P' h% ~5 Y被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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3 \* {! s: ^3 ?% P) G) D$ c8 `- |咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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! P4 P2 n9 D9 r; j$ i( }http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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1 S7 {5 f( L/ E: \2 C咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。$ W( t. D1 y: n8 Y5 _

) Y% h1 t9 z' X( j+ r' m: @还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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" l" k8 S8 i7 M) W& n$ ~8 _这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?% ~. E+ E( F9 D
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