 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
* \! W$ X( S! N0 E( b请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
6 L0 B% }8 ?& M
! O' a1 Y( P; I# o2 Q/ t4 j1 ?1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
% z @2 T h# I" Q2 [% S1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
* c4 n- ]0 }) E7 P! @' Z* B7 @
) o/ z2 U4 S. K$ O7 N9 ~& `# ^1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
! a+ H, \! \" x- k/ ^down.0 z5 Q9 W6 |+ ?( U5 X. `
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
8 a% a$ `1 A( ~: C4 a. m+ A( V9 Ryou
# u. H, ~: q; y! Y6 q2 b$ Ileaving it down.
5 B; M9 k5 v. [: V4 I9 P1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
* h- t- k) Q/ b8 J* V6 i" L" U
$ e) V, H" h9 I3 {0 E, r' e1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
G. ] V5 `0 t& V V, {5 GLet it be.
6 ]! l; ?* X* g5 {7 H- [1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去0 l( a; l, |5 \& ^
8 Q' i9 G: q& N
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
% n% X: g( K d( p! ^that way.
5 M7 s9 L9 ?/ c7 Z+ F1 u/ w8 a1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
], n$ I' g E, i: W( B; e% P: f$ c
1. Crying is blackmail.
7 M- D* W7 U8 c D$ b, e/ |+ E1，哭泣是敲诈
* o5 v0 o2 Q; r" T; u2 o! W- |# @. D8 W- W2 {) t |% M
1. Ask for what you want.- A0 v! Q8 V" u3 Q6 z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
7 N9 ~0 E, g+ b6 ?" Q6 L( vStrong hints do not work!) g6 k2 w8 Q7 W! e8 S; [# V( b9 X
Obvious hints do not work!# A: P" U0 I" V0 [! A! t. i& s
Just say it!
( }: Y' L) L# T9 B2 L& k5 Y8 \1，你想要什么就说$ `1 e0 k7 V8 p \/ X# V. }1 n5 p- D! k7 S
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
6 r: U. A/ p5 U$ b# L. h- s! M2 |9 j* V1 a% T6 G
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 2 A' y4 j& ^6 z R9 o8 \# k
question.
3 g- V! H8 f. [( ?1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
4 ]5 a1 E. \( A! m7 L+ b3 d
* ^7 \2 R2 v6 k: u$ ^) H1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's3 q4 V1 ]$ x6 H$ A
what we do.8 |8 q) `1 Z3 M' v+ S
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. ] \/ o% r6 C+ ]5 c6 i4 {
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
" Y" F! @2 [8 J/ ~7 J. g. E1 `; I/ C# [. J8 z5 `% t
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
5 J! U2 W6 H0 i2 z# V! X: q3 ]% w2 V1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
% I& j, ]4 l- _) C' n; e% B- h m; b8 }; F+ W4 G
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.4 u& g8 F+ Q. r, @) S1 B' `; M7 f
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
E2 [9 G4 I) U8 h; n我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
$ s4 ]* P3 G& W: ~3 q
4 I( x1 o* N3 ^3 m1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us9 o7 X( e9 h# k, w$ a
to act like soap opera guys.9 }/ e% J7 q/ E" C! r, b' R
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们+ K. q) J+ A/ E7 C- s
; f! b+ w- v Q. s# D
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
0 x L9 P q* W0 j% {1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
, O& f; L7 W$ W C6 F# _0 G) B" e9 H Z {! {+ r4 u% d5 G
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 x4 x2 |2 [( i _0 M$ {8 e
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one., \ f& ?+ l3 V! C3 t" n/ l
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
! X. w/ @* Y2 r6 \3 V
" ^) Z5 U- {1 q+ ]（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）; {6 F3 G& x( b6 N! D8 D( a
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
~* l' \( S$ qdone. Not both.- q P4 o5 w- O9 J6 j
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.. {$ d5 F, z$ s4 y7 `) j8 s
1 d9 u. v4 V/ V! d$ C
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
: \3 a, I- P# {6 T- S" k: s; ocommercials.% v) l) h) X* f# k$ m7 P
$ e& h/ c0 h: Y1 S4 k
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
/ J* y. ^; u/ E. { |( g Q) x S* o+ w9 U7 \
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
: K7 p" L8 i: E6 a, f9 }( |; a! A GPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
3 M! ~9 p: z+ W0 d: e+ V1 rWe have no idea what mauve is.4 g- k W' H8 J, S- `/ X! c( T
6 T0 X. d4 O' i3 |+ ~. G1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.! l/ }8 S! N7 d/ G
9 m, x; P4 b% g8 B$ L7 H1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 R) Q% A+ o$ @9 S$ H. Q
nothing's wrong.
& ?4 ?3 f+ @5 N0 _# {; _) r9 _( mWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
+ F8 l |5 O" ^* F. q7 C* `
+ Z& a, N# k$ W) N6 M1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer8 D+ A" B+ Z$ e- s) W5 c. U
you don't want to hear.
9 J0 p9 Z! |& p/ `
$ ?$ j z. B0 p/ n9 K1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is' O3 q- W; P4 L! K% u
fine...Really.
: D) H0 X! }% h0 y5 ~ Y: n$ P
- S. @/ a5 K& Y3 R- r1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
1 g5 d$ K2 o, Q7 S) _discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.6 @; B$ y# }# j. m8 l' T
& k7 I# d- h# `% g1. You have enough clothes.' g+ T8 n8 k& |& |
" G5 } n$ N) k% b1. You have too many shoes.
1 P' V4 I; M$ O c+ P5 s7 O2 l5 |: F$ f X* s% B
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
: k! u5 H& w. x/ j" [4 ]( R: t U7 E' {6 l2 p
1. Thank you for reading this.
- ^1 q1 p* `, f0 S
, Q" g$ h- X) D" c7 U( U8 dYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
% x+ w! V i0 ?But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
* K2 h3 _2 J$ R' I- I2 L% m& z. X# @( C- d1 s% @8 i: k; G
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
# _& Y) s) r% Z3 `Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
! j: R+ b; J4 L9 ~% r# W0 \