请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
3 ]1 I' e) j: {9 kBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
0 f- R5 @( i( {Thanks a lot!!!
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# f7 J, S# W& ?/ z% ^9 I! f
* a$ z& E  Y8 L# V. ]' i
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Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
' K/ e& B/ `/ ]8 Y6 t1 u. |* M              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
) ^, C5 s8 f' c0 ?4 ^/ h2 W$ ?, p              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
* |7 l4 r. R3 F! |% h, H$ I              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
$ o- Q) @) K, w5 q              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
5 A6 N9 T3 O, j; ~2 w" H- n$ I             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
6 L9 J* L0 K/ \$ M/ FBasically, I almost finish this poem
) r5 O* \! Q6 P# y8 P, y1 t+ l3 l               I am 一个人de精彩
               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
( q2 d/ _# S% Q  p" F# K7 ]But........         
1 w; u5 s6 X9 V; m2 B) aIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

6 A6 U% D. f! P( z卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
! Y7 ]) F5 S2 x! b, j& WSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
0 g& z* J' S  n5 W# B+ I% XSomehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
. t# F9 R7 \" c1 s' r1 {Somehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
! S2 O) v1 D4 y" l" _; F/ i
Somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
* V: t7 r: Z+ @# Q% A! M/ {Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again

/ l8 ^3 ~* B+ f' H) w( W0 [" |Somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Somehow I discern that I am still in love with you
* z- F- [' G3 S" oSomehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

5 W  A) d& l3 S& E1 H$ F7 bsomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

1 X3 N  Q7 e# M- r( ?. ~哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？