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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., t$ [) J) X& x- r! [- q
3 B5 C; p5 c8 `3 w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
9 n! N; i5 o. Nhospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. ?3 J" v/ a. Z
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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7 i& C' A+ y+ ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- X- K. Q9 V6 J' N- Xcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% v! Z- x$ u/ b! m* X
$8.00/hour.
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/ S" N6 g% ?. N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money1 S; t* L3 \$ Y5 Y! i" A4 z9 k d
on a 15 year holiday ?0 y; T# g+ P& o& ^2 P. L' o5 Z
# q3 i5 X" X1 g$ L 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 u$ E+ }5 ^7 iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 I s- u, e- J1 y# h( z* B
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' d. d6 {: t7 P& T
here sick.
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5 D5 J' U, v1 u) [. R( X8 _( F5 L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 H. E, c! q1 V6 v1 |5 y, y, C/ y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 J( U7 R$ C6 x$ b$ k- v0 f( V
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :: P0 v2 J. v, Q; h
0 \4 M# n% M4 O( s: J/ E. \: k/ k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' j! n) m) n( d; g, V, X, R
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' C& o* _) k P4 F) K% x J" s
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 n0 z4 I( w0 t: L; l2 h
- O& [1 H! ] ^& h: b1 G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& x+ }0 b& v% M4 d" H6 d& t# V: m
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 a' f- d* t5 i) h
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& \+ d, `! A: V1 a: h1 `
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 o8 W" I8 c& C9 W! a$ U- O/ B
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' z$ N, L% W1 q2 h' b
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 N0 @8 A6 P% @2 U" \! M( S( U
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour& B/ E# s) c' t; u6 L1 s- S! M
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 _6 M# _: r B4 s( k+ X) z- e* dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
`8 R1 v2 l( d+ K1 L: g omore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; l1 z5 ]# w4 a6 E8 Z9 @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# Y& V9 s$ |1 b$ w& l
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% y& N0 b: K( L% J2 \! ~
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" z+ P* ]1 y) o* {. T* a) `
the same road.
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' a2 I6 I' B9 m9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! o2 }% b" D: M- D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 w( P$ R, W" Y' F2 `/ h' i+ c$ F
activated."9 `3 l1 v7 f% d: r
7 L0 t" P( m% V+ i w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 L. I- X7 f2 D/ I! l
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ F5 n3 m5 f2 h+ i' |; [. }, s# faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* ?! I% {) i9 u3 |4 A
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, {) p" b* ?$ A5 }! O: Z0 E2 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: E6 @7 k7 ]7 `. m; w2 ?8 ]9 _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( q/ Y! i3 l5 R3 @( _
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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