送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.

1 ?8 h/ D/ k5 X" P! T; g 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
' }. M; @# ?" [: \hospital.
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6 a% O4 j8 f3 N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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& a+ ^6 {4 q7 E( @; j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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8 @0 H& s2 ~( y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 }9 Z$ r# S8 D8 ^1 Bon a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 q/ S9 i1 m$ a( o. N1 G10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
) C9 G+ x! \5 \* Y8 nhere sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 G. Z3 S, x3 M1 q. Myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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( @( C8 y. A; O7 H4 H" k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

1 [7 G( U) h- y3 E% ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 {$ \2 g, a- p4 V: _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; w( v) ~/ z5 G6 q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
  E4 j4 e( C+ Z0 h/ ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 K4 P% f4 R* v2 X4 p, ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# G, X6 `; q% B; Q. y& @/ C1 mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 C4 C/ a+ e3 _! U: ]1 c5 kmore construction starts everyday.
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, {: z# K8 x; E) ]2 J  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! D2 p( g9 d; k9 R4 Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 m8 F& p5 H+ F0 x2 n2 X( R- i0 Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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1 w+ K8 p& Z2 J1 i8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% @' }1 B" r# Wthe same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
  s; \3 m+ r7 ~# Q4 K' pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 z2 `- Z# ~7 S# }7 i' ?5 l7 iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# i) w& {- {0 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ X5 [0 m' H. s7 C2 `+ S' Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ q4 e* W5 p+ v+ @virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

& [" s- o! m, @/ U有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
1 z0 Z7 R3 q* f* |/ a/ _2 s满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
) i9 E/ f7 |. x1 O+ c/ d" Y有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
0 s2 ?5 \8 g' }: z朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

& x) Z# t9 e6 Q3 Q) A3 F# m 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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: S6 t! ^& w5 B2 e9 y) { 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

) l! [4 ?# \0 M& Z0 x* D) a5 m这么刺痛你了吗？

2 y( Z/ A9 T7 A' z! l# H- x. A我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

$ F7 N/ k6 T6 A, g你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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, C8 f( h9 [/ N再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.