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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 p4 M% C s$ u T Z' ]( a. b
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4 \ J1 t3 B2 J' H( W0 H" T5 Z 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- @8 ^) i- \, \
hospital.2 R6 m/ o7 s9 Z/ H# \* _8 A" R+ y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 v) y0 ~* B+ L5 ?
capital of Canada .
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% m b+ Z8 } F B- r 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# Q; z. s4 ]/ i `
* @* G8 J! E# o2 a G7 I 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( |4 T2 f- g1 P2 N' h
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ f" y% p1 b" L2 Q( M+ h+ U
$8.00/hour.- F' D& \9 }3 q# I3 ?! p
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- m# D! n0 D B" G 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( i" ?& i5 {7 d! G: h, b/ Oon a 15 year holiday ?. ] X0 |) V- c
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. z; d7 M) l/ l$ T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# E3 I% D& y3 B" b5 _$ \8 }% G
7 Z' M9 D0 o2 x5 c5 b( b7 `# H) O10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# ^* q9 O9 W2 w
here sick.7 C! s- a ?9 y& S4 O
5 a* `3 n o; `$ V+ b& D$ V11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 O" U0 r4 p$ W hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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; r8 p/ F/ d; C6 g# v% V' N" I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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4 y% y3 n( }/ O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 ~ p! x+ M' N: K% {
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% M, N: q9 Y% j. L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: Q( ^* b+ V% v9 zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( c5 q( \/ x/ ]# w& t/ ]6 c/ P" k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 H' J% G1 X3 y: j/ {1 d5 r5 b. Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, n3 B! L9 y9 \4 M6 ?) Uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; f+ i5 {6 o+ n2 R# K$ b& f' W
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" A: y9 X( G: Q: w5 a' D: Bcussed out, and possibly shot.4 e7 u' n: D: J1 ]
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 r8 Z- j; R8 _1 ^9 w. Y+ Y( xcan get you shot.! Y; V' Q) V& ?, Z2 e
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour/ I/ }9 p: e# w8 @. o. r
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& q A, Y8 B6 h: A9 t9 O/ Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 M$ Q/ z8 Q7 e9 [# D5 I
more construction starts everyday.! n" ^& ^1 |& h" m
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! j; P( Q7 o$ \* ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 K4 n! N3 o0 P+ ^squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 d' u' {8 s9 l* y- Y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' z6 I$ I* x4 ~
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ j4 I& e2 ]( T5 q2 [
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally S) }7 r4 `- ?* T
activated."- z/ R- m7 ?* b( ]
: ^: Q$ P" _4 P& I& U10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* r) v5 k+ _+ t% ?
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 O2 C* u% S" F( O' J) I: o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. {. `6 P) F$ X2 A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ \4 z) C2 _5 }8 r9 v$ F' \3 ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! X# o. o* O% Y8 ]1 [- g L
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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