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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 L2 w/ T; z/ N7 b/ z3 ^+ f! o
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; K: X u" d) S 1. Bring your own house.
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$ Z5 E+ I; m5 Z# h7 B/ t; b 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 s: G! T6 J) S7 T( I9 |' `
hospital.
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6 u7 z X5 l5 \, w 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, A$ O$ }4 F9 zcapital of Canada .* d8 U/ ^& W9 a8 p6 w5 t
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 q7 `/ V6 s$ ^; H/ R3 M& j6 C
capital of Canada .& P& L8 ]% @/ C% h- j4 d9 l* B, M
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. R5 X1 L* G( U$8.00/hour. j6 c2 ~6 y* K+ H! D; |
# ^1 I p( i2 l6 o1 g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 G! j0 T& c0 D6 w9 ^
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( Z3 p5 `. K7 U' R# B1 ]1 ~8 }on a 15 year holiday ?- v$ g" g" k. H! E1 O+ _
* i/ B! ?( Q) C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) c2 }: @# T3 B* d2 f3 c
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" b& o, v) V% Y* f
9 _, B* \6 ~3 ? J6 j+ z/ n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: \& X% `) y( A1 q
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 G; e' g' v: F/ b+ \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& c) d( j% T3 ^8 _: e$ T" m2 L
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% ]3 @* P/ h1 P% N
9 i& l8 F6 ~8 B6 o; B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: Y7 N ~% e; ~' |+ V
2 l9 K( f1 r5 S# M6 Y1 a$ G" X1 F% N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ m# w5 | R7 J- Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; p$ {+ h; y6 ?% O
% u" X" M; P; a2 m8 P8 s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* \0 Z# q8 W2 o* s7 W# p) Y4 N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 u- x2 d+ [: D( Z; _5 x, b+ Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 H8 J; b& _! S/ E5 B/ k8 {6 O& N; Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! F" h6 D( p- \7 p6 Y" F
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 W' ?8 V* E9 V
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# \- [1 k0 W$ I% O1 Q: T2 ]cussed out, and possibly shot., p/ Y7 O: U' }3 a/ o
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, K8 \( l- o+ H! b) G4 c) C, S
can get you shot." z4 k% Q2 e1 U1 T) o9 \! c
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
; H: Q5 ]( A, E7 Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, H1 V( i1 Y& J2 ^* Fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; J9 X: l# m1 Y7 y+ h/ D* @( T
more construction starts everyday.* ^9 i- U4 o0 _2 y
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 V$ Z) ?( j- {5 H) j2 S {/ \, Adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' J6 k* u; j4 I6 O+ [8 [ `2 N* }4 Hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' g* O; r, `. ?6 J e
( e+ l8 i0 K4 o$ j. [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: ~5 Z" y3 r; T# f# V9 R* S
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# ^0 I; z6 U2 C: x" F) F$ O8 H qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 l9 H# c7 h1 N3 b7 d0 _) A7 F
activated."
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4 D" h, y( E+ i, ?10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& K, P" q3 ` l: W& v5 Bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% r, {0 |4 V1 C2 J$ z9 o+ aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* _+ m; r, u3 o& \* r1 W" V
9 I5 a1 H7 ?6 Q; k11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& `7 W; E- ?6 i6 E: K% y6 i* q9 rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 P) Q9 l+ a3 }+ k- ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) Q# U' D `! |6 o/ Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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