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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 a! z; z/ |: ?; K1 s5 c6 g6 P- }
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8 Z1 Q# a( U: n: l" }* m4 u 1. Bring your own house.0 o! l& }) [) ~* j [3 H$ ~
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and, A5 ~1 M: ^0 U' |8 V/ D; P% h
hospital.* U" ?" H4 n& F* ]1 V
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 {+ b& U! N4 W `capital of Canada .& p( k/ M2 k. A* k8 _- A3 a+ v
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( r$ _ Q4 o4 {: T% N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) C* ?9 r- ?) } v( n1 j: A( I
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 H" X+ P7 E, U% `2 x. w$8.00/hour.$ h5 N$ G6 y P* p2 w. }
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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/ S2 b. A' h7 U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 j) f- k. W/ H( a, B
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 q. m# J. U3 s* s% t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' A& i4 B( w" c
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ i- w* d$ t: [8 ~: S- j/ h
here sick.3 i( f& V- w1 J/ \. \/ a9 u$ Q
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 F5 q; z: u1 ~( C9 X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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( Q/ J0 ], C$ d THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- m6 ?! u% R$ a' {4 K7 q5 A7 ~2 `) C
. A+ L4 F+ d( n* R6 Q# d( U2 O1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) } e: b% H: Z+ K% z- {8 I5 F" s
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. Q( S2 ?2 Q$ ?
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! W$ }/ z/ w' I' L
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* [0 H9 \& j4 E" k% L4 l* j; t8 `" ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& U7 Q, B4 B- N0 Y$ }
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. P% E/ r3 u( w: s8 H! i! Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, C0 A) P; v( q; O Q9 a( Qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ t9 G* {% h- t3 z+ V" y* l4 ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 Z6 y' E- q5 Y; H+ F5 {cussed out, and possibly shot.
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% }" I1 r2 j' @- |7 O z2 b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 C5 }: e2 w4 G" o; o8 K" `
can get you shot.
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. h8 z. k+ t' o& H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( {4 J' s7 P+ t# k. ~barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: |' d* V: A- q" ?: iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( K. a% T- E) R- `; X3 jmore construction starts everyday.3 a% Y1 c+ w& p& \
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ D) k; q1 U0 \% s- e
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ a: `8 s6 a( C# k5 q9 p: h4 V9 ~0 ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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9 v0 O, S! w9 h: s1 j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
8 G6 y$ b8 f- Y' Xthe same road.% x+ k9 V! M4 U# A* Z
! b8 {/ ?2 @* R' a9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( D& k S7 _- M! F3 Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 |/ n! P' q6 Z/ |& p4 C* u$ J4 ^2 \
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"0 M6 _' L# Y/ @" E) G w) u# Y2 M
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; W. I' ]1 U* V) y1 L
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur; A0 c" K6 l- \* @, `; M( R- X' G
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- }. b* F R& e
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: h/ u4 Z* ]* x1 ?" ?1 H- zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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