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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA3 R, }) ^+ Z. v, N) w$ t
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! P; t" Q% U) H ?/ A# C6 U 1. Bring your own house./ h- c2 m3 T ]8 n3 w+ R4 H
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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( R" H. }2 p3 V. w* ]( q+ i* q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 `. m: p) {6 r& E( Y; D/ ~4 ^% ~ Ycapital of Canada .
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! l4 H' f7 x# H+ R 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 T: b5 {( }: Z3 p. y. @" H
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) _6 @ y1 H6 _) o* @capital of Canada .- Z0 t& b) V; h* i
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: x1 c! j/ [7 p& e# L
$8.00/hour.8 y; j4 [- s6 y8 n2 x: I+ f6 K
1 G8 e5 ?/ b( z1 ? A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.7 R$ `4 ? D2 h. g
/ P4 x5 F3 t: T2 ^ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, v7 K' q0 k4 q. {. ]$ [on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 _1 K3 x0 E1 M) b$ m0 L# fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come( y) `4 k/ c- r9 z( m3 t5 x/ A" U% s
here sick.
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/ z% E0 O* M6 U% g11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, L! s. L! ]- j5 Q) {/ W. }years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. K1 b+ N1 A! B* \9 F2 s( c- j* c8 |
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 h. f: g& M& z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ m- q& f: r9 O
6 \2 z2 k( S8 {+ M: @; b# V3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ w Y+ N% ~ F6 n6 d; e4 a3 O: Uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. ]/ c' y* Y( {( {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) E7 {9 \3 ^/ ~0 j# t
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 ~( L! A* v; U) c2 a
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," e! F) j& I' i0 p, b- @- m: A
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( ?& F$ X. G, i- ?% C
can get you shot.
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7 Y6 w" b% V; _' ^& Q% U1 R6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, Y) ?+ e& t A4 s2 z1 i0 i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 p" R, c: F3 |& Q5 V4 tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- K' U0 y" |" Dmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 R1 K: U+ ?! q. R8 O% C: I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% w0 v* I) C6 P" c7 _& Wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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1 b( w9 v- ~ C9 n8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 t& W- \/ }) B7 z- h) _
the same road.
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* K2 p# a4 R/ {9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) h# i% G( N6 u8 a; M' l' |shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 Z# w K, ^ W
activated.": F# G* }2 h i$ q# F& \& N0 U2 |
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 d- j& a) s; @) S
* Q/ ~/ E3 Z1 l& g6 N5 E! I/ C# a4 B11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' e! h; ?' X$ n4 P$ ~3 z% c
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 K' S2 w: {7 O( Y% B- `' }
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 h5 @2 {; W J% o8 \# K4 w+ t7 yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
