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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 \2 P4 N6 _% t3 N
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5 D7 t0 T C; G# V6 h2 @ 1. Bring your own house.: l% r. E, i5 B* t% A
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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, S! C3 u/ P/ x% P/ Y3 k! v. H 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ ]) I, }% B& n% P. t
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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' H0 o( W p( u, M9 ~, ^2 Q( I 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 ]/ p5 N- v" T' m2 T& p
capital of Canada .
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2 z0 Z( K7 i Z0 _; g3 K" W1 V 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ g v6 k) V8 w' j6 U0 p0 K* f
$8.00/hour.$ g+ E" Q4 F( R) Q R
' r% l- S0 N* Z0 T6 O) \) v; `: _" l 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' Y/ k3 Y3 Q0 v3 ~+ Q+ k
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& ]/ J+ T% q: f9 L* {6 d3 Lon a 15 year holiday ?
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; P! B6 _. P; ]6 u9 n; i 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ Z# [0 o9 n3 _9 V/ ?5 V: \: Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 h) ?3 \$ j2 Y' P0 m
' e/ a) T6 y+ L9 e# g10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 y* f2 m R6 F H7 B1 T# qhere sick.
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3 ^) L- ~6 a" Z% H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' a% J$ Y3 _$ m( a5 vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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, `$ V$ Q- ]2 z. j THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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" x2 X1 R* X, X, I6 u, a& z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* M! i7 `! M' |3 y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" W; y. u! r8 I5 w$ |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.0 w( a& I7 |" \4 ^8 Z w8 n
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
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muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 g7 {$ I9 u" d* y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ {% n% R1 F$ A( ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 c( ~- b- F6 L7 Mcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 |8 q( `$ {! n6 _& a4 Y6 e) |' C5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ ~. X& g9 K: P! z2 ^* l
can get you shot., ~0 F" J3 G/ D6 C' H
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' d2 W {! A6 t1 Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 ?. {/ j1 @6 `! rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( m+ q& f/ a* t# p9 X1 D9 Y7 X) U; T0 @
more construction starts everyday.$ P8 Y( a3 u8 |9 o- C
6 I8 r$ v, c4 }6 p 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 X* d$ |4 G- ]$ \5 rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 M/ _" x4 |% J9 b1 f1 b2 ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 L" M, o9 q2 D7 o( c8 f. n
the same road. c; |0 x) T/ h! f* ^; i3 z4 P
& a/ U; `4 S& g4 J {4 O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 o* o0 p- a3 r! w6 D& P' F" p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 h2 [/ J! L, _* r
activated.", `9 I* F7 B- {
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 D$ w. _" v7 azone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 \- r( z" X0 |0 m& L# Z, M" A4 B
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 H" o+ v) ?( c9 Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" R2 h: K$ O* I+ m8 Pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- w3 k* l" K0 \1 A l/ A' nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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