送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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  p0 }; O. l2 P1 M 1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( {: U7 o- l* m. a6 xhospital.

3 T' Z. H, O+ R- D9 ~  d, F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

! x9 C! V) \  P: T 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
* ^* b; a" _( g* @4 F$ Q: H9 _capital of Canada .

! ~* W$ s$ }8 {3 u 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

( F9 v( i5 v0 k) S4 S% a* @3 [ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: }8 z' U' ?8 U! N( I1 _2 } 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; k  F2 e9 r: I1 lon a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 S& D+ ?* S+ ?prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

3 b# J0 R9 X4 a1 R* B8 {/ I10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- M% F9 D/ @$ L3 n# [3 `# fyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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4 B% t+ R7 q. F THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% `7 j) w8 s0 Z8 A) o0 d8 P; g$ y5 mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) S: h6 j$ @0 P7 \! Jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

+ _+ @: p% I1 u4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: \3 ~7 F8 Y+ r/ h% O4 ycussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 V) x" D  g3 R& r: Hcan get you shot.

3 Z, y: ?  U# K- [* x3 z+ e* E* N6 M4 n6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- u5 [" [7 Z# V4 l; Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 J. r; W$ I* S* c  M; x* |3 Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; U* i: P' V  W8 i4 ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- T; v7 ]2 X' z, O( r. o, dthe same road.

2 q4 W9 w. y' U8 V& F) o: ~9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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( o9 ^6 Z( F) B0 T* O10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 ], O  O# @" b3 S9 J" svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 a( ~! w2 n, f$ o3 n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
7 e6 _9 f5 U  R* ~8 i* `# N1 p朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
6 M" F- L5 P  Q% p$ _满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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' l- v* a& O- n4 O 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

  V, C, e" _6 P: x我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
5 t) i9 i( V" i  Q: U5 G$ k朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
% ]# j6 H$ G0 P$ W1 y) q ...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.