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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew
! v+ P+ ^4 a, k7 r5 phis wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he9 z! i/ o8 U  N/ g
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
, V& j( ~% V3 _; K% Sbrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
* V% ]0 h) _  [) rif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,6 T: n/ w) Q6 X9 H+ [5 o! e
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
; {4 f' ~8 x* j2 u0 a, `4 {except... ahhh... never mind."
* Z+ W' _6 b* F5 @2 v, _! P1 R9 R) q# v6 k' C  r3 W- A
    "Except what?" the man asked.$ a  U0 Q1 t1 I. X
    "Nothing, nothing."" {0 ?5 ~! a+ F0 Y& b1 `! h
    "C'mon, tell me!"
( b* P* P6 {2 U0 J    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
; q7 y8 c; F. E' p3 u    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.7 m: ^; p7 k. E/ k  X6 f
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."# s# C* w: j  x  |) [
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
) a4 @; k5 Y: \* w( Pcarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
. y  P) Y5 S. ?ordinary-looking black dildo.  V8 _. d( C( M9 L) r2 h
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"/ C2 |( l6 J, z2 `8 b# Z& c

' d* H  ~+ w2 Y( N5 p! \. m& {    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old5 K3 \) u, q, F8 d/ i- l3 \4 M7 {
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
% D; q, k# F, a; j VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started' H$ ?/ R1 c. ~3 B7 Z- u
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
  W( e4 U8 Y" wdeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,0 R2 n3 i$ ~: h' h
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
7 Z3 s) E4 }* S( T  Q1 [/ Cthe box and lay there, quiet once again.
# f2 q6 h; B9 ~
* q: o1 @0 K7 j    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
& \. D+ D$ X& m% T1 swasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took+ y( Y' ~6 c0 o
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all 8 R* W* S6 V# x1 z* m+ @
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip
/ u1 N! m) d( Csatisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
% |; P8 B6 e1 _) D3 n5 t9 n: g: \3 v( L( ]# L
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She, V! V+ V; R% Z6 q% W6 b, W
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
: A/ ^3 l+ x5 ^& S2 _remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,5 }/ a  `1 m' V9 B1 G
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was  s& z0 T+ T( R' L2 F
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she - v" L6 v& x4 c1 O# w
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her
; U( z  O/ r5 z6 N! E8 i% Yhusband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!6 Z; ?% T  M6 d4 N. x! L% }" L2 I
: j( L6 E0 D- `* F6 m
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
; @& z5 z+ }9 V+ l3 D4 ?to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
; n1 c1 b  T: ^- {  o6 ^' fjust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.5 z2 w( [" O. S

% I8 v9 s) ]7 B% l# m: ]) T4 T9 O    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
1 T8 `/ D# n3 v) M2 ]to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming' z& A1 v7 q. c/ R0 T
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next' p- @6 Q% V4 g- |% n: }; l
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
; d; l5 j: r, f5 K1 fflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how) o* ~9 C0 w# c! j* d! a7 P4 Q0 @
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
7 G  v8 i% {/ r( l/ l( a3 Nhadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.. @* L: T: C2 D2 {! ^
2 [0 r& E% w8 G, G6 Q- f. V' N
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
7 k: c/ V7 k) v, P0 a: alady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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