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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON: @4 z# H h3 s& Z) u) I
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.5 P8 Z& `4 g) _/ ? f
7 E# N) h% {3 q* b4 i3 ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
% N S- U! P4 M3 Ihour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
' i' }& |9 L5 M2 X) ^morning.
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/ U3 q$ O8 n" y3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,. S. R/ e1 s' B3 n$ J. ]6 _" p
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, L1 L8 B- Q% J6 M. N, flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.& x( ^& \0 Y/ Z1 U2 b" |" }/ c) k
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% [1 s! ?. h8 q. a V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& ^# H7 I8 }: s* j: m( l+ j- Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- V: W3 M7 p* i h0 H( j" igo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
. X: A% R" @. M6 ?# S1 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 }. }0 F6 }1 X6 f8 v" b; V4 E
6 ? I( G" {: { T% O3 }; x5 |( ^5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( k4 ]! w% Y ~+ Q4 xcussed out, and possibly shot. d6 v, P4 j4 m3 y$ ]) E) C; c* F
* v) Z: Q( p; g" Q; ]8 z# Z: y6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can5 ~! ^' q2 X* s& c0 K- V
get you shot.
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+ x, p1 Y, y$ {8 E# h" ?3 g7 t7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
) D. r9 A: q# s% \' l9 \has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
% [& P$ \' S! zthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot, d* i) _& W7 k
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
; E: T# z9 G3 C8 g$ C; Zvehicle through the intersection.# g# H4 G1 w9 q. G0 u1 |2 |+ u, \
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour5 W: d1 g5 Z7 |" g. C U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% e4 z, y+ j6 u9 H
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: G, U) a# C" Y8 g0 G8 X; Q
more construction starts everyday.( O2 _2 z" P" {5 ?1 F- a7 x$ W! \
& ^1 T# W& N; Q+ t( y" S9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 `' C6 r, l6 u3 E: h0 f2 ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 i- `' u" R8 _- s. N# f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 S- F" E4 h" w2 D
1 l3 k) J/ G/ m" R2 [; U2 g10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ l/ r) m$ C, r% p, jroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye6 O3 G' W3 Z% I7 h3 V
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and1 i; ?7 E7 W7 f
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 V, J3 \1 W. u3 r6 c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
+ [$ t7 u/ E5 ]4 a9 a- o2 H, NActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,* B, y/ y2 a! Z
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
7 d2 L0 a- t( eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 a, T2 v$ |/ U9 k. u7 z* {13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% q% i f7 m) h& F: Z5 x* Alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ G; y& J+ p$ q* |/ Iblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
