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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:6 W1 B& k* t( E& e2 n9 z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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: L# R4 Z& W# L9 O# _/ ]9 [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush4 w% e3 f( U- T! [+ _- g% z
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
( K8 r0 X H; ]9 j: w6 z& Wmorning.! t4 _6 f; }2 Q( N$ U3 X7 J
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
* H3 F7 v4 W, a& c9 Nyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
3 l3 s* U% Y ]4 Q) Jlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.! p0 B$ ~: s- I5 |6 q' G
( q% |# R5 B {0 b; s3 Y4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 i& m2 u6 `; }
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 @/ I- ?$ W; r# P J0 I1 w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 v5 t b$ _ |" K8 F4 q! ego second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell5 P. T$ e/ \8 X& P+ I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ p7 x- n& U! X% Y" S( }9 ?
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' t/ C, f0 X$ c5 P
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 U7 Y* i; F; N
- i! b c2 H0 u2 `, e6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
+ h6 j K! @) ?6 v& c: w. Lget you shot.3 N: X/ E: ~4 l7 R% {
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- b% b& Q% ~5 K' s, h- whas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
5 D+ ]& o8 ^, u: Lthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
u4 V7 v- G d# C% U8 hyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
6 J* J$ e( S! U# ~+ bvehicle through the intersection.
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# S1 r1 T5 v+ Y9 Y6 t8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
* d' |. e o6 q& _: k; Q0 Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( o; Z3 d+ ~. sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" w% h m `+ H+ z
more construction starts everyday.
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4 }0 d* g9 g. `) m' o9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,7 E4 Y# R8 l3 E) `
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! `2 U2 t: r' usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ _/ f' N. P+ Z; T# u. c' w0 K- p
4 }8 P5 N; n0 d+ ?/ {5 {) ~% s10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
* z9 J7 t$ P* Y4 _ h" kroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
, Y5 J- i0 L j5 ?- l# dRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
' h1 L& R; b# V J2 I( W66 Street are also the same road; got it?1 D a, p4 v! u9 w8 n& q0 G1 J
! K6 c* x$ ~7 |; s% u2 `11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the- }' E# e% C' A/ \ Q( ]
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally) f' M+ s, O3 |# v9 k' q7 Q
Activated.'
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1 ^8 y5 W# ]& e12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
f1 j8 @6 P! _you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
( T! [ W! R; uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* F: Q+ p4 k. m6 W! u0 F
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' a9 }7 c" |! t# C$ Y7 ?0 [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( C4 K+ A* j4 A/ |blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
