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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! M+ F3 A& C' v* M1 `# Vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' T: s; F4 y; J5 dthe other possibility.
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9 H# v6 J1 j+ J4 Q6 v, |+ a* O' _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' G9 B- S" d! w7 H, B& nspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 h: B9 j% I6 C4 ~4 d: A
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: b' P' r! n# H& b' V/ e8 v; X' M# Q
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
$ v9 T$ w; i" Q3 Y) Ythe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 ?1 G$ ^, [+ G# h. {The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& u! u# B2 T, W. ~: o& U
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ a% K8 X" h* U r
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 o) x. U4 {) L+ R& b# q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, F6 W2 V0 }6 K5 G
fotograf 20% shorter., Y7 q" g' Y! s) s Q3 M
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: _) [" V: _8 B8 X# xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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K) q5 F# R, r9 W( DGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 L( f7 W! s# ^
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 Y6 h3 o* F; ?: L, S# l
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- @8 r1 }! l: vdisgrasful and it should go away.
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0 Y' L# u) A9 i) P4 A) jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' K. i- [% X" M' B+ {3 X) D. J: C
"z" and "w" with "v".3 {2 X% o1 K) N1 A
% S8 S* y0 b( V( e' T$ ADuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 f9 U% S2 y5 G/ \after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 y$ N: W a1 G: M' E3 c7 E2 I
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 j1 v, w, g; E5 f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
' \( y- k9 R( k8 W, g2 Z, sforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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