 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
& A3 h0 k6 a6 |) G( b0 b& q2 y# ~( NEnglish is a stupid language.3 O6 a6 |. t6 j
There is no egg in the eggplant; s, @7 @ r: B* i" W7 ~3 K
No ham in the hamburger# N0 V0 E* A( b& p5 Z% N
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 R1 c6 D6 ]/ L) G8 I4 J yEnglish muffins were not invented in England5 `; U$ s& z0 s9 w! |4 A
French fries were not invented in France.
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" b& T3 g$ ?. w* u7 `- Z* C; EWe sometimes take English for granted1 q# d9 i: T3 }* ~
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that8 u+ B4 r+ P# ?: {, D
Quicksand takes you down slowly& m6 E H" Y1 X" f, f/ j% M
Boxing rings are square
+ ~+ }+ g0 D+ p5 s- MAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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( e5 Q+ _# x5 D' n7 A YIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.- J$ P. P4 z* \' ]7 M
If the plural of tooth is teeth
7 ^9 _+ G9 o4 u/ p% c5 R6 _+ ZShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 T# ^. [: D& h* n& I$ u! z, @% hIf the teacher taught,
" \# ^# V2 G+ r3 h9 I5 TWhy didn't the preacher praught.' D7 d8 d: b2 ^$ c/ `1 r
: h( \) o* y- F* G. H. xIf a vegetarian eats vegetables6 p( x* ]3 _$ F* i; J
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?* f# [* ^7 q& y- j# _
Why do people recite at a play
3 H C$ X# Y& q9 u5 a dYet play at a recital?
2 r1 J6 ?' `5 N0 VPark on driveways and
5 o. s$ e, |2 N9 x9 j& i2 c6 yDrive on parkways* C/ I' a& h5 m0 [0 F
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
* {5 ]3 b0 t9 a/ I8 a6 FOf a language where a house can burn up as7 t/ ^# j& j/ }+ t. ]/ i3 z+ n
It burns down
K% m* I& X& R+ sAnd in which you fill in a form 4 N& ^# z4 K5 S
By filling it out, ^: M9 v9 A* S% X9 t! }
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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! W# i2 a: Q0 b$ v2 x0 S0 MEnglish was invented by people, not computers L8 A7 u/ t% _' S/ T+ q
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
' U3 ]7 ], o( w2 l(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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4 L" l& ?7 ?. ~! N1 x; { l, TThat is why
) i: r0 e* b! o7 bWhen the stars are out they are visible
3 l4 }$ y. z; m! @9 P4 mBut when the lights are out they are invisible! c$ O/ v4 ]+ {
And why it is that when I wind up my watch5 O. g2 i8 l( `! @
It starts
" v% @, W0 m. S2 n7 M: g0 x' aBut when I wind up this observation,2 e, w' R5 s( O7 r$ L% L/ ~( u5 C
It ends. |
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