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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- B, l/ D/ k8 k1 b9 K( j
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7 d! y3 u+ d+ W 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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; y% C/ o2 F& i' g- n& } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 J9 e3 j, t/ `$ Q( Y9 a! o! r. wcapital of Canada .
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, V) J6 Y# F( P+ a) K0 o. I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 {! f4 I- Q4 E6 I- D8 C* S w
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
9 p" C2 s0 A$ n, ~/ C& Ucapital of Canada .. m+ a: k/ @) v$ \7 O3 f0 T
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: ^6 U7 S2 b, H
$8.00/hour.( _% M1 T: ?* @& x3 E+ P
, a9 M- S* w5 w/ \, Q+ O$ o 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ U4 G, z$ p8 [7 ]" e( i% N
% J# U+ b: H4 O* L5 K 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ `, D" Z! P# N" Q4 W1 A$ Ion a 15 year holiday ?- d$ k7 h8 v l
- ?# j5 i' ?+ s! Y3 ^% g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" [! S4 g+ e% G
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 i9 t& O7 N: E10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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n3 E& q% t# }0 w5 K; A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% ^8 v Q2 j8 f) C/ L* X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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* G- U, O! P+ k' x, ] THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) C/ i8 w# r: y9 V# i
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 j0 k* o7 g& |2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour+ A9 Z& m9 p+ u+ S) g5 W6 o
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ Z/ {, h/ r# B6 T: m* Q2 @
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 _/ G; [# f* A6 A! a: s5 |own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 P: s* G' G D; w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 S( M n: W# x& q4 K1 }. a
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
+ |$ N+ K7 ]5 U9 V/ Y: `# m; Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) x$ Z( i3 d3 [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 T0 @6 H# P0 v0 v7 G1 E* ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# Z1 z8 b. ]/ i4 ncan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" R2 @/ M! D) F, q! v! _; @( N1 ^
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* `5 L4 _4 I; c4 r K* l) Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 @" d8 c6 ]/ Y8 s* ?
more construction starts everyday.
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# D+ B) s( v9 ~ i e! m0 g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 w `+ K% b: ^; Y6 N
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,( B A5 A: c" R& x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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4 Y: Y* u: H4 e$ b! h& U" S$ V% c2 \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) }' w# _' x7 r: ]( `- Dthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* g- b" e& R) H: i- H. k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 B* a8 C. @/ i: p: i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% K D* k+ |+ R$ V9 Z/ h. Z/ ~
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. Q1 X) ~; E% h- Q u. Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ N0 F5 K/ @$ j, N; d11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 N1 Z& n3 h }9 g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& v5 R8 V) I+ o Z- gblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% g! m, V& s8 i9 A Pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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