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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 _' d3 u h: M! Y0 N- q
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/ f5 l# L+ O2 ~( ? 1. Bring your own house.' b6 Z( C9 E9 A& N0 A$ Y/ _9 A
5 Z/ Q8 h, w3 L+ ^. @- I- l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& Y' |. a. n( M7 i
hospital.! \0 e2 H0 u1 v7 R. m$ N- l2 o
! J1 L( M; V9 n: X s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# d, K$ G5 X! m! }- Scapital of Canada .. n1 ]0 x8 x) E7 T" O9 u
" W; w/ f8 L! K$ N: A* X 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) e% B' W1 _0 F* Q5 j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! ^0 P: c' G4 t% y3 ccapital of Canada .
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3 N3 y1 m. Q0 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, I7 I( f* o( S0 B" H. P7 U
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; y. U. B4 u+ O# a2 Q9 s
on a 15 year holiday ?
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3 ~9 B+ C5 q) i% L% F: y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ v, `! h! b) ]' V/ U! L
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 H* M/ Q s, k
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come7 r6 V+ J* ^. X1 g5 A
here sick.
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! g q: O5 z q8 m11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, t8 \ Y1 p( I2 P6 Myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ I, n- P( x& P* X8 D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : J+ z5 N( \6 F ?) C
: g& }; _, E6 V) r2 ?1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" ~5 h% m, T9 F0 ]( ~. M9 z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- I Z; A* G3 x* @5 D5 B; `is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ F! W+ f$ f8 \% M; W* S
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; Q6 P7 K$ u' X( L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( S% r! U T1 w/ d" Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: I+ F; C' Q$ Kgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, R+ Z. n7 q) G$ [6 I9 S$ H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, H! f! W: T: l: I& n+ s. l
cussed out, and possibly shot.5 W: q. E# }' k J# O3 Q9 b; e
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; t5 C7 @. u U3 `# y3 T& R9 Q
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 w2 U3 G. g) a+ Qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* h& W3 r. R" x' E& z% z) Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 J( `/ @/ f8 B1 o ]; ?. V" q9 Wmore construction starts everyday.2 c; Z2 g" h( J6 _: B/ B
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# h v7 J- X m- ?+ K1 X1 f% ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: H P- o2 ~9 Y {; C7 t, j, X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 O3 I* a9 l+ [! n9 q0 y
" p# r3 o( L) C# i, ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all) K9 V; `) r7 {4 G5 W; K0 R+ k& z
the same road.$ V( h% y1 B" Z' F6 G. m
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 c. ~2 N- k' u' \ d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# w. v: C4 @9 n0 c# q
activated."8 I" q9 X6 x1 z2 N* @* a. r
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* R" Z9 ?/ X* o, e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
Z! [: j4 c+ Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( D' e. _) D# z
# F" q# n/ D; C+ Q1 o; Q11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 z3 g1 J* Q; @9 f* B' glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 x% J6 [4 U# H8 U! W, M; yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) [* \% L3 K8 f* X+ r3 D# A
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
