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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 u! _5 Z. n J; {" B6 g( h; K( } 1. Bring your own house.
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1 r5 }" K, R; o4 B 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! s! n9 G! ?0 ?, R% _; E& A
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, A$ g" A1 Y5 q; Z; _5 m/ bcapital of Canada .
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* z% ?2 w8 E( ^- J4 A( F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 A5 X% R/ ^9 J* }2 M& O# }
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& J+ w4 X) T+ J' n: h! I* I
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 E+ w" K5 s* F5 s4 Q$8.00/hour.5 z: z. d+ o$ i& J7 q1 z5 s
1 @1 w# Y& V1 V' _4 M& X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 t! f* k; b/ p1 ]- i% X
; L* W+ ~! G7 c5 c! y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( @$ a% c; C1 @+ J7 Z/ h3 V4 a4 M# p1 s
on a 15 year holiday ?7 G N5 i) ?8 ?2 |
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. ~( g8 I; V' Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% ~. j" y3 a* `2 n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come8 s5 ]% {% B, Z' @* w+ O, j
here sick.
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* F4 D; E$ F" Q; ^6 H( `9 P$ m11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 j5 d& }' D* f# J$ V# O( K5 ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% B! T' a* h" A' v: a& n* k. Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 \8 G5 U2 b$ I/ w# v+ {1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: O& U/ w5 d7 F' N3 Jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 D% N% r' @! d
! q( s1 b/ P: {1 }- a F3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 ?7 x! ~7 a% {
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# `! i/ S% B: O' J4 R- c
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ J" K2 {3 ^0 S3 M4 [$ Ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) u, Q8 \; W+ {& A7 F+ sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ O8 c( w. ^! }# S
! D( D( k' J a5 _4 e. Y4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
I4 x6 G1 c6 b0 o# _cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 Z0 {, j; p6 G3 x Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 w% P" o9 D% l& Z+ jday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and8 K6 I4 r5 L+ e8 k
more construction starts everyday./ s# E: h+ W" A: u
) w4 m. h8 Y0 q: r 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% }0 Z0 ~9 C0 O5 }. c; _/ sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( q6 e; Y$ n$ D u' {0 B; zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 F$ R2 a. s% g
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 k+ \: j1 k: w& r) L: {the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! t' ]4 c" r" X3 M8 Q$ ^( \7 G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 b4 i$ w* N, n6 ^( ^
activated."
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' X# k0 i+ s7 B- c J+ x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 w" {5 }2 |2 E# |/ J6 ~3 ~ Vzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 U; G% d+ B+ q% Z# Maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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j9 K' c2 g/ |11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 A& [/ G' }2 ~* w( \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 S: l* @4 r1 a9 L4 i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! F3 F. w: I" F
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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