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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 V; F6 R+ b+ v7 ? g' Z
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6 o0 m. G' W( F* a4 n 1. Bring your own house.3 y- }% ^2 R8 W' Z) F* F
. t* W6 U9 t* G9 G1 K: ? 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
& ]3 a# D+ i( u0 U/ Bhospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 g8 a" T) e G7 S, M8 ncapital of Canada .
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- E* S. Q; c/ F9 T0 e5 t, n+ I' e: y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5 x# i$ K; j& `; W 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: d0 t1 ]* I' |5 T9 \capital of Canada .
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: W( o4 Y# p! ^; V( v 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 {2 |( V; E% K% t. {$8.00/hour., U! e3 V8 N7 A1 Y5 r
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 A+ S1 k% k3 g& Ton a 15 year holiday ?+ }0 U o! M R4 L# V
/ y- P' k& }8 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 |4 ?9 U# D7 ^! ]% j8 V/ G& E6 ~
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ } J' S& b J) u
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. P6 l3 d6 a4 l4 c8 Z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 X1 W/ R% \9 |% J. d+ q) w1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ }7 D3 d: o0 g
& b9 D% z7 \0 c& _$ l2 ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, X ?* P4 e8 L" J
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ A4 ~# u5 D- Y I5 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 W& }: j! x+ Z) q c" K' Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, @1 z3 d/ Y( Sgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) r7 @% z, j9 ` C, G7 a3 Q- [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) a" s( R) v* j4 l% j* e5 Dcussed out, and possibly shot.
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; @- C. |+ H1 n* A, ~4 D. L5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& `7 \+ N4 }, ?5 d Q# A. N
can get you shot.
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+ l: G. N4 u, T% V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 S6 S& d- V) S" H; }3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, {0 [+ V! c- d; w9 Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ p3 A+ I1 h$ ^# c+ {more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 l2 m/ u$ }$ O2 e
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; j) P( M7 [+ p+ \/ b7 X' H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. A% T! T8 k4 a" U
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) ~( [( w4 h+ S1 b+ R2 V' G7 `the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 S U8 D4 b3 z% N5 z* x& G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 a" R; x6 A: ]5 s9 s
activated."
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/ o& e. X* Q, T/ n9 v: \10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) g" f8 p7 P* m ~, k' B2 Y8 hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" S! q2 t j* D# X2 k5 A& ^
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' `: D) t, t) Q( D% rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& e6 K) `! f$ G# _# ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
, N) \5 ?" \# {virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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