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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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/ D* H# L0 R# r8 l 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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" X7 Y6 W6 |5 K( \# I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 f' X& J/ l1 x6 p4 ], P7 w- E
capital of Canada .2 E0 w. N5 B. h6 p* u2 X
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% L, I* x7 w' ~: |# l- {" S/ s
$8.00/hour.$ [' z# f8 O) J" u) k5 t: I2 f! L' q
2 Y) P- Q0 ^( F3 u$ V 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ ^% Y7 u' K; \$ m- h! r" K
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 [7 Y+ a/ Y, P6 _) g
on a 15 year holiday ?, P. _8 Y2 S f6 g/ |
6 {3 i9 ?+ }* u$ \6 B) K7 f3 S6 w 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas& e3 I5 \/ Q2 ]# I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 ?& d$ @, m; h/ a% l! T
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
% N) {3 |5 C$ D. t. Z( c0 t+ dhere sick.
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/ x$ @4 z; W w- E+ z11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 J" r# V4 G' H- C8 qyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" x: U5 `" ?9 @, f THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 R* |' r; j2 D% Y9 t8 ]& ~% z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, @1 x: j/ ~+ R; D K5 q+ u" ~
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 [+ Y" }; X0 u4 G( L9 a% u
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 A; \4 j" Q) w2 x1 [own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' |. r: J; m, L$ P
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& m" A4 O% ], m; X; }go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# H$ `! @' }5 S2 V% B2 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 O6 m: Z- E( J& K2 _0 S, d; B% n' w
) z9 J7 Q9 J5 ?% O8 d& B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. g7 p* F4 w; C
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 d0 a5 g0 ~' d* ]- @$ p1 Ncan get you shot.
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+ i3 \- i8 J% c1 J6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
3 Q( l. X2 s/ N7 n0 W4 Y! E) Q; abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ a0 |( i4 Y7 Oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 f( F. f' Q7 M( gmore construction starts everyday.
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4 [4 |* _- \1 v9 @9 ]. f 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 V' K9 f w% u: i) p& h0 {+ Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ k, U+ o! v1 H l2 T
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ X, y+ Q: y8 Y$ b% l
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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' P+ o, A, z1 P2 Z) K1 @& w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( X- c* q! r. ^7 o3 B- Z, _
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 V( e6 R5 ]( T* r8 Y4 k& V
activated."7 w* p7 X5 ]/ M* R4 T& n
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
o3 G' c+ c* `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ w% Z# [5 V/ S1 n! A7 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: l: r# M* B7 G( D B7 `
! Z" [7 b: t! B$ J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 y/ ^- `1 G& x0 s
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and' y- Y/ k. x1 D* Y% H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! \) }$ d6 `- V5 O) N9 R7 g& c
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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