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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA3 c, S7 R0 o' w7 o& b- Q# q
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, d! r$ x2 f; O# w# a* e; s* ` 1. Bring your own house.9 K: ^6 K- ?, G- O: Z0 |7 _2 `
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 [3 e: n3 g6 l
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 I/ O# p5 n* F, `capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .: t0 O) [$ |* [3 z y* S! v
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; U. J N/ j; l* }/ Z; {
capital of Canada .& \$ a6 N: Z" ^& j3 H6 ~8 n1 ~
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. b+ n( S4 H+ j: T$ k6 s$8.00/hour.+ N9 ]! H4 ]: n) u! f& _, B1 l& T
8 c7 N/ W# g4 w3 @+ L* T4 R/ X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# `: ~8 Q. J3 j: b1 p
0 D7 z, g( _- }1 c+ n 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# t0 e7 j( y5 v1 Xon a 15 year holiday ?1 {0 j7 e. Z% S' K( [$ f! ]
( a2 |0 H# U+ T$ h! @ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 m; \3 l6 V: B7 Z8 P+ Xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 o/ [: U& R3 a! j
& {) Q, Q- N. q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* ~! U$ M, y' n, K2 H- W' d( X% X6 e
here sick.
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4 z4 _0 v$ |' L/ ~' O+ |$ `5 S11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ j/ g& N, e% E1 z, R5 Xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "./ W% _5 B2 d* b
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 k+ B9 q. ?, m |4 B5 J. Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 C& j7 F7 F- [# O% }. V1 S
& q+ N1 H8 }1 d, ^2 v, y$ c# O5 l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 C! M) q& Y! T% [' n: M
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ T" t7 _: h# i& p* w6 B
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 ]# M) {/ a, [3 U5 _1 [$ I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 P$ H5 @5 p* v7 @2 ]4 g+ ], F
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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" a3 R% K% k4 V5 i( x+ b6 d4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) T. ?2 R4 S# u' P/ n9 Hcussed out, and possibly shot.7 K. R- l/ h! G) X c" R: g
- f/ Z# W N- q; d4 K5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 M$ r) s6 y, b3 d; xcan get you shot. N- x! P" s3 u
$ ?/ @1 Z0 E, ?' |6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ S! c8 r* g/ @2 D% Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& x) p! `# Y5 e4 C$ k) m3 Y2 U
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 A' L/ d& O' b9 g: H' N3 o; n6 J! r
more construction starts everyday.
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& E: c! U6 A( x( l' o( Z; R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 L0 @- ~7 y4 }. M" c0 n: Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ V( N* Q+ L! K* Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; A+ t' f" ^( T* R( J* d
$ O q2 ^# H, S3 R& q' e6 D8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, w. E- i( C& k
the same road.* e; l3 z( N- u) z0 ]8 `1 t
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the h9 n0 g3 {3 e
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# Z% Y( r3 b! p% r- j* t
activated."+ [* l& f; ^/ J3 ^
3 D( h/ o/ Z0 J2 o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. R* q6 k3 ^( `- N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* r8 t9 t2 z1 }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ y! e/ S: ^* |/ e! V1 T' r& B
{) R% H" c! R9 J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ v2 C) P. ~# z" glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ w6 z: L3 q3 {) y: [blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. ?& y8 E; u6 y, Lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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