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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA v, X% |% K7 n9 `3 ^" u8 F
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1. Bring your own house.+ c: S9 }& J& q4 R
' Y& M) @) i9 G5 b, u 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
8 m u) b0 k4 Hhospital.
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2 W# Z. N( z! T2 L& c" t, q0 b/ S! F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
2 Q3 B! F; G# I8 o. Mcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 u9 D) u/ N; H# j* E: B
capital of Canada .
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! t4 P5 I9 ^% ~3 c6 z; Q2 Q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: w2 m5 R& @" [! R1 V: ?
$8.00/hour.5 }: e* h9 p3 `0 k: Q8 k
6 T0 D' \5 w2 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( f: D. n8 O+ ^
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
1 R) b: J* b: fon a 15 year holiday ?9 v \/ C0 s, _- W% T
* V9 n8 H! d1 x- G4 p) ^8 L 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ F3 ^) R, K7 k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 i* D' `! L7 \% w4 y7 b$ p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ G3 K- t+ g: {% ~
here sick.
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/ j G# Q" G2 |11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& B& I; K" o5 \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ `' X. P' C% h9 }" w, W
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" ]* Q8 I V; b' w8 B% D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 u* q s% ~) v& k
4 `$ S- |. A2 _, e' _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& ^$ r( t4 _' d2 V# {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! T, X7 J1 E8 S, ~0 X( y- I D
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; a& G) f" y3 x) T3 Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 m1 g! D/ S% k& x5 p' l7 p5 @7 j* Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& W3 X4 _: J1 V) c3 [" R+ @
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: |0 K( {8 v$ n( _. s: h9 D
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( n8 }/ @1 Z [( j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 |6 w. v2 S( z5 p% M
cussed out, and possibly shot.& G, z6 x8 ?! ?( [
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
" n( R- Y9 W; A; k' c( v0 Ncan get you shot.) m" O: m. d2 r9 |7 E3 _
' c* u1 A! T1 I1 s$ p5 N# I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; [) A5 D: ]* ] q& U; k! M( A0 N6 b
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, E: l% J' b, i }! C7 b
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" P' m& V" i2 X' P; ~8 J- Omore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: r5 W; H; f2 r) Z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 c! A- ]$ f! Q7 E# p" [, M# J+ vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., E5 E" J4 G. R& F5 S/ j X( {
5 A6 a& P6 L9 ]. o+ B, T* @! r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! b) \; g" u: Z8 o' k- N8 F: @the same road.) w; P( }4 s) x
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 c. {* G$ M7 }/ s& E& r2 yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! V: g8 E7 l( @( q) o6 B& p
activated."
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) y5 b% O) _2 G [0 p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% T" o/ w# I# I7 V# N- x
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ A( ?9 y l7 c2 M
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., h2 ] L6 V6 x. Y, P
6 e7 D* }0 E8 u( P11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 {0 }' {1 p; p3 I; U4 @ w/ Dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ t" @1 B% q6 t. ?! W5 H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 h$ o( _3 J6 b B8 c- h
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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