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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ d2 J/ z( U/ m
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1. Bring your own house.2 \! F6 J. E2 [6 R/ `# g
$ j4 b' Z8 ]4 O( x9 @ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and/ L" h: \$ u8 ~! `8 I5 I
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 v6 c" F+ l0 B& ^
capital of Canada .
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) r4 r$ G5 V' \( t6 a# g 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." ?7 c9 S" I8 t7 G4 f
' h0 X/ X- c- F ]: s' T0 P+ G 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 f+ U( Y, R$ @# xcapital of Canada .
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# {% ~0 n9 [$ |7 \% @0 e# D! d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. I! r6 k: @% w$8.00/hour.6 X1 o# J& `2 _+ c* i
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour. H1 {3 R Z5 K% F$ y3 ~. @7 V
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ N7 ^& K! F0 F; hon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) \( I, _* b2 E* V0 z, j4 Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 Y! X% R5 I; h. rhere sick.
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' I: N" y# {& A( \) L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: `3 t+ ?, H' M& e1 [
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 v; T/ t* W3 k# \" f8 o
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- l9 n1 b! ]& `. L4 j, b" m
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".; v; ]/ T0 W/ A( g7 J% }& G5 ^( I9 L
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# v% S0 S E6 Mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; H2 t- Y/ t3 `/ K$ c6 z- I
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 w5 G; n% y2 p& M. }" q# C
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; ^. K0 y2 T# i3 N3 R& h/ j# {/ V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires [6 c7 B% i5 m/ ]4 E
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ {! t8 _/ B+ B3 |1 B
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- W4 b( o4 l1 T* acussed out, and possibly shot.
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% y" L8 f% b6 r6 H1 a& G" {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 o: e: X! H0 c1 Rcan get you shot.- T7 ^' J$ L0 ]% d5 o9 t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 V( [) T4 f2 {1 Y |# W/ d
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 ]! w. S% e, Q1 U
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& s& y; b7 A1 T% @more construction starts everyday.- E2 M- X, b6 c' b+ }
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 a' F4 M; x" m) {1 N0 G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
D( p% ?' z' X0 k$ Psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: v1 a% ?" H2 a
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- \ v) @- G/ C2 S0 @the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 j5 y0 n* _3 l7 k J+ Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) E, s7 w5 A1 U5 N
activated." T" f! C3 X* N
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 o- d1 J% L7 U e3 Z1 T& {6 Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
- n/ V6 D; x* x) Y( {3 \accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 P! `9 J7 F2 R5 K$ U% b
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% t8 o+ Y% r5 j! d
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 Q0 ]" Q) s% H3 E6 C9 K! T% E
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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