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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% b% W6 q; h ^. F 1. Bring your own house.5 A0 f( S2 H/ P3 g; W
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" n( c" q- |4 ~# q' Zcapital of Canada .# D' i& P* a7 |% e2 H ~- ?
9 p7 Z2 ^; r6 N; ~ h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. P/ U C; m M( [% v P
0 _' v1 I* h5 Q- Z) h* P# y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ E9 X; h+ ?$ M0 ]9 C
capital of Canada .
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- G: Q9 g$ D1 V% ]8 j9 t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, T+ L/ I+ j* q% [& N
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 D% {+ T( R5 m' {0 v0 _& h6 \
0 N# T, a/ h6 K: l3 S \) Y& ]( s 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 U5 a2 \) i, z( x) S8 f1 u/ d
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ { J5 }% Y4 w
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. K9 r1 _! j1 U0 I8 T% i& L9 x# _, y/ M
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) k5 S. H6 @- }/ D+ G& m1 `" R
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/ R9 G5 |7 k8 X8 ^. ^% K/ ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 @) z+ C+ u9 U& q# his from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* ^! U5 V3 p: ?0 @5 i: d
6 R2 R! {1 o- Q# C1 T3 [( O3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ o* y/ b8 t% l9 [" U, d+ f1 Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' ~; l0 i( {: x- Fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* k( ]: b g9 O7 tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell ]* ?8 C: W4 z3 |5 T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 \; b3 C4 M# Y
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( p+ y5 a% I% Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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' J/ G" Z$ o1 j" W# y6 Z1 m5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 }! N: U; f' i$ [
can get you shot." H _* s7 @6 K7 j4 N& O* ~
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 S9 ^- L3 F) a2 D$ J4 Y$ D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: Y: I- }: l! n# X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" { t& [; t7 H6 F: b) v
more construction starts everyday.
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* K3 T; w3 o! ]5 F, ^ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 L1 v2 g9 ?3 z( p) Z4 L' ~" K5 _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( ~" V( S# [: k" ]& P- k: ~, ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 H2 c3 N- f% }3 L+ ? w
* K! Q. p! i2 H- C1 O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 D( C+ z' w7 Kthe same road.
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- U4 _$ |( d3 y1 R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ f* }+ @3 w0 s9 v) h8 Oshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 f8 h: E4 h. ^
activated."2 O Y5 i0 r# i' c. e+ E" Y
: K/ H' i1 B; j# S! i1 p7 Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& f( k+ t5 U: \2 Z, h( e9 }1 \zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, C& x9 l B8 Iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 Z; m, _) C% R3 n5 E+ Z
3 [6 @: D& c- T11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 w+ k# n" t; m6 zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! n1 S/ y G8 {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# e2 s& u% F) K+ @4 _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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