送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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; N7 r" `6 }6 Q1 G" M# f 1. Bring your own house.

1 ^0 B2 B& G. |/ j7 {8 }. U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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+ p* r9 a' t) Y( ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

0 z# w* P% }8 U: l# E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

% n, X( D: i1 r' F& A4 ~ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

, }/ |" E5 n; l1 A$ | 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- P5 f$ }; q: U* H" ]* X$8.00/hour.
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, w  X/ @) G, E6 R  t. w, ? 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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, Q6 ~6 I6 Y: k; @6 r) O: W0 N9 u' Q 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 [/ P. o* O1 }6 T; V0 X+ o- Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

9 Z7 `5 `. T9 G7 J8 D10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

2 v( I* s9 b, [! y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( m# \- l0 L9 A) Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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+ U2 x8 ]& O8 ]4 u1 r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

; Q6 \# g7 n8 t  p6 f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 |+ Z3 z  q8 p, Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 _0 f! X1 B( ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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! T8 u2 D/ E( E8 }% l# P. e1 c5 n) a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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# G- O: {% e' s+ `: s9 Q, O: a- G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 l. r! o2 ~8 U' a( }day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! g9 y( h! H" h: fmore construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: E! f& J. @3 L: z2 Q" pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 e  s3 ~5 X5 l; Y. rthe same road.
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* C, I* ]2 ?( F) i- E; W9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
, A' W& \' h% m: ^activated."
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. j6 g# `) E9 `0 R  }2 O1 o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 o& W4 \' j3 N7 T0 v* ]zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

+ O* N/ n; q1 p$ _+ q4 ^$ _% A11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 w! c: @7 D5 s6 ~+ q: c; alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

+ ]6 j, N* c& l. k+ {9 {% A, k) |有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
  n8 e' a" R. M有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

# ~1 W( m  C- h+ R6 N此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

$ i% C  {3 S# s

[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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& ]& P* J7 y4 w3 L" w: P 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

! h: r; _. m7 w! p你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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6 E( c+ b" [/ O7 v6 m* }再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.