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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 J6 B# \( v- I/ J5 e4 \
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7 z( a- K6 i' p, b; J2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals." z" T$ A' e; a& G9 b3 y1 J4 H
3 U- k( t1 }3 W% i# _- ]3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.4 @. y" u+ X [" X, x% i1 c
. `( x3 U5 g+ w* f5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.2 n, D2 L2 u' P. b) O" A- u
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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0 F: x6 q8 F# o3 B0 P( E" `- M$ u; q7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department." x+ f; \9 W8 f. U7 p- {
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.( u4 B2 K! h8 N7 M4 ]- R! L
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.! r+ d# p& ~7 ]5 T) e
1 x: x( t5 D0 }( e* C0 y7 h13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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