 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " H4 L7 s" [2 j6 F- l Y- D: j
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% ^* E" u4 T- k: A& D3 PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( |4 o! G3 l7 P$ @2 Y4 {9 M ~, j3 v
7 D+ a- W' K# I" W/ Z' C; aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, f0 `5 C6 s* {0 imake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - Z9 E" R: y; \/ `
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 T+ `* T( e9 \4 j8 q7 o2 O5 L: n
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; V) v) R# |( @ L
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! v5 Y+ y6 H( \
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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( J9 g$ x+ M: G" T0 `* V( oShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.0 ^, I a0 k6 f
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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& w; A9 w: C, H! w2 ySpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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2 J7 a1 w' o3 O$ h! WTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 B+ t, _* Q4 c4 w# C, y: [1 o
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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- |8 {) ]/ y% Z" t- wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : Q6 W& g5 E$ Z5 }9 N: v. {1 A
4 {4 @8 A5 v$ F+ BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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9 {: k( ~! |' W* T" p) R% kGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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. |* h# j2 n& MBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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# Q* G+ k( }9 J7 d" ^' ^8 @Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 H6 S+ _, o- n; U3 f' H0 W
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 L0 F; d) g8 R+ u$ I3 `2 \8 M& l
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 5 c2 i4 u2 x- ^0 F: h
/ }, c% g# F8 xWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 7 d1 k/ d2 k) O; i/ X& I
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Rinse off and get out of shower. . V7 e( q! Z' S& a- @) l% x
7 v+ W- R* o, OPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 Y/ A; B% \% `% d& F# U
& k& k% F! H* k' bAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 y6 {7 z: w$ b- H
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Throw wet towel on bed. ) ^2 K- r0 }& }' p+ N
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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