 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 ^' |, }. y/ w, T6 Z
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% n3 l& E7 X) \. C: Z0 A7 i
, w% E/ T9 X6 s7 o! C$ Z9 r7 YWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. S( m3 j4 e P6 m; h5 L8 ~# o& C. Z* j
# |, o5 S9 Z7 J# j# o6 xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. a1 Q( s# @6 R
2 y) v! ]; ]! w5 H: z) sLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' ^4 \( X1 P* m+ e/ Q( J* \make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . P' W& X& }7 H- m9 U, R
, b) z6 A" x4 m6 CWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.( O5 l2 k' w8 _1 s
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : Y5 N; V: m& L& k- l) X- Q+ h$ X; F) ?
2 x9 Z0 u" [) q _( I. rWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 s/ ]' A& a$ @ m+ c: {( Z
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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) W: e: m U% f: U. FShave armpits and legs.. E5 t/ }; J2 ?! T( E% t
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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3 ^2 }9 P7 V' H* f7 ^9 {5 ySpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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; ~8 ?( f* W( m4 Q2 o( aWrap hair in super absorbent towel. j; t3 U- j( {
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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! h# L5 G; W! O2 k. ^Walk naked to the bathroom./ g. O8 h/ P( h! L% M. n
! q( r/ K3 a) o) A, UIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. # s8 u3 Q! p" D/ X9 q J- p
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( U. d/ t! s, H6 p
6 e7 \. W: a: S: |$ }* U6 O# h0 [Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % @( Y# S5 V9 Q9 h
4 U* c: E; m* {) A& p) n. X, sBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . }' h4 Z3 C0 t
* b8 |5 |% ~5 U) \& mFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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' T0 `) s* u* O' J K8 a7 }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 O+ S. R/ s0 L: m
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Pee.
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- a2 U' u$ g! mRinse off and get out of shower. 8 x* I. }) l- Y$ _ d+ g8 N' h- j! ^
4 e/ W. d% F% q9 i6 I# hPartially dry off.5 [$ Y' Q4 O0 _0 n5 S$ ?! b
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 h( S- o6 g7 O) B) y+ t; }0 e
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; X o- Y, k S' }0 N: h+ @
- V. _5 F# V& P) \5 y8 @, [: hReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. + N8 w9 p# |; O4 c* T
! ^3 V* K2 q5 K8 l' U) z4 {* D1 CIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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