 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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3 B9 V9 s1 u2 n1 Y9 V% ?$ p' ]Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " p# E" n8 u7 u' A8 B. E
5 V- \/ [; Q8 L* w2 w3 I2 L" b6 }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., i Z; S; G/ C, [$ k8 v! j" a
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; F7 \3 B( q6 ^) U; t
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.- ~4 ^- r8 r- Z2 E* t
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . l& U% b+ u$ y+ `, K
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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0 c2 B) e+ _; ]) G; T7 iWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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% x% o3 G8 Z6 D$ ~; j4 Q3 ^8 }" x0 cCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.., o) ~' l$ R, F ~4 Y$ _) b
) {: y) l& i# `; jWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 3 S2 [4 d0 L9 d
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( {$ H% I- o0 g j3 y5 Z
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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1 U P* n. u, `0 V5 k eShave armpits and legs.; L5 m7 A# H. e, [) o* n8 q( I3 U
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Turn off shower.* j8 ^2 f' O+ y+ N% g# z
. O2 P0 u2 K9 L8 ]& i- k5 X: z2 ?Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' z: m# [! O" `3 q: Q( A, O2 y3 l! { s) ?
2 |/ i8 Z9 s/ Y1 L" Q% KSpray mold spots with Tilex. $ x! O( O2 _, y7 o _5 o& y
5 c* s4 t7 o% e) Y2 S4 KGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 y/ w2 s9 W9 K3 }
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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! M4 T; V: A* R, w5 k" f+ [Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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9 q4 c* k. F8 K, RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' }& D5 s# s+ i( M5 B, }
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5 s% v0 S. j8 N- a* K5 v. FHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * j( X j4 O/ M' X2 H- ~/ o2 m0 j" \
! k- t" D/ g4 ?1 PTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; u5 K/ P1 W5 a" O A9 x W
% Z# A' U8 b- }. [, m$ JWalk naked to the bathroom., c1 y k- e2 O% O' r
3 J/ |* R4 [6 V7 f) a" H4 eIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 c: h. J+ [1 p
. p1 X2 i$ Y! {! H% e; a8 i2 ?: ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 1 `/ J( E( N/ c; B. U2 |
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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6 \. r2 c/ L1 k4 i; R! |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. # c# S* D( r$ X6 r
9 A; F( h* _5 {8 k* rWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % T7 O/ w" O: d( Y
) [9 m5 L' o# v O1 b7 f" x, t+ fWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' k6 }. x; f" N6 {$ w
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Pee. 4 n. L0 S0 ]3 I" l" R+ R# q
8 f9 a/ D' d) C& W, T+ [; sRinse off and get out of shower. / ^& w3 m( X4 x; k7 h7 U' R1 X4 m
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Partially dry off.9 P' D/ c6 h; U T) {- L
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 0 ^5 y( _9 d7 {
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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% V: i( r. }3 r5 p) U) y# x% P- Z+ hLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 2 }4 i2 h, M2 {
/ a+ B9 I, E* a5 qReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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7 E% r* D: m7 rThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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