 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
* }' @$ l) ]6 f6 E
9 G9 y1 a* K6 l2 H/ J0 {
2 [6 r x4 ~2 Y4 E ^-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S- s: }. Q: g
, u( Z7 l0 q2 _' u8 [8 D% s
1 l8 x' F1 \, L; Q2 x
! L# I. \' w# D7 ^6 ~) v8 @" iTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
0 j, a' t8 I3 y* N% p
3 D3 O5 r' J/ i8 ~Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ; I5 n# ~: X3 S" s& Q
4 \5 o0 J" C& TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3 J) W8 w8 {/ L. J8 I
3 Q. w' N+ b; G1 E# K$ bLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- - F& B- N; o! {$ E; b
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Q- }8 B4 k, d+ _3 x+ u0 }
1 ?: R, N! [9 O: g I; KGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * [' c/ Y! B7 j! C
, ]+ Z' l5 D* T: KWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 I6 q- t; @9 o" A2 f1 n# m( b0 B4 f7 ?
8 T% ]0 c' i9 D6 dWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
- T+ Y3 b( {( [3 ~" r/ z3 V) C3 |4 ~5 D& Q
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
7 |' b% Q/ t. H9 f& s; w( i' z+ x4 P1 t+ n7 f* v
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 3 F. d# ^% P5 d9 r
1 |3 j5 i5 |% W
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
9 T& z! ~1 k9 b) _/ F! g# D6 e9 x
- z3 ]- ~- v) a1 N, k- i- E. gRinse conditioner off hair.( C% K8 n2 I* @
p9 k+ j2 ?$ e
Shave armpits and legs.
# m' J2 B# l) f$ j% f+ i# x/ ^8 K! N# S( E* r
Turn off shower.& B7 c" y& f+ o* Y: J. A/ t/ [
& `( f/ ] {: M
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower." q: O; k& i/ Y9 S, R1 _8 g
0 V4 }$ V3 I) s) Q) S; @Spray mold spots with Tilex. ' }& j$ W% T. p: c
. {% V! F# R* L; v# n$ bGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; }; @! n7 `4 h
% f& E3 a6 U% v* i1 |2 S
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. # d3 S: V: w t+ c' K( r; R& F1 w" y
2 T M6 x- E AReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : u1 v. U( ~ |
- b& U7 x; w+ e0 ^- l1 \$ h
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
0 g9 U; t# ]7 K/ M4 P ], q$ V$ [8 W C3 S j7 L
1 q" s1 h, t9 W3 E C4 q% k
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
1 w' g p) Q g1 L2 N( W
) J+ O5 f6 K" Z& ?2 m P& Y* D2 VTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
% {& q( k' T% k+ m% Z3 |1 k: s0 \# R! i8 P0 s5 N8 C' E
Walk naked to the bathroom.
7 U% H+ v7 t, I! w- h
3 @! o6 |, s3 r2 `; SIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 n& `5 D; X# X! p$ `8 L
% v8 [+ d$ o/ {& T
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 ~; K, j2 v* m, d* f
# K8 f8 R* H6 b6 v0 j( u; MAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
1 F6 T; _; X1 n3 C" D- a7 e4 T# u5 ?% w
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 O3 c: s5 e( x3 Y
! w" |8 \4 P8 e! Z
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. D$ g% Y! }2 f% X" Y. e. ?
! L2 P, t6 W' i0 e
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 1 \' _( u p* L
: T. h# _- `; [
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
, ]* _ m% l# ^$ t
0 y, y u! _! ]% v$ _! F; }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
$ v) \: Z v* t1 [+ r
- I1 E; W1 A+ `$ ]Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 y. ?( B. v( t$ G- ]$ r7 y
: l. ^/ V3 i4 i: v
Pee.
% A' f E% B2 B- y9 a. M5 ]
! e6 o, x! Q! e) yRinse off and get out of shower. $ ~$ ?1 w1 T) d3 T# X4 r3 W6 M
* d' \) C+ B* u, D
Partially dry off.- Z8 F+ P; V! I
' I- y4 Y7 v! A- PFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
: K* g" c1 x+ R' u7 k, X
3 M# v" v& T4 v8 ^: w, W) T; W0 a: |Admire wiener size in mirror again.
% X1 H+ Q& L4 u
! H- X& O( i; {+ i# j/ ALeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
/ b D* k- ^% r) v% |2 b9 @* n) c/ r0 z
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
6 W2 m/ U' L; ?& A: V$ G2 \
) ^. c1 G- h9 z* `Throw wet towel on bed. 3 D: x* k8 q; \/ C
# q( x$ x. z4 l2 oIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|