 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 ^& m" P! ]7 f: `3 P2 m) A
! O8 G/ [3 J) v q( S% \0 C
/ x. ^1 h. i# e0 J& I--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- F+ j$ v; x6 b3 c
8 m4 c. Q, B5 h* z/ ]3 z
; z8 a3 N4 V/ P
( x! J1 m0 S _* S! P& zTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% s2 M; r# ~/ j7 [* u
7 p' p7 [; Q9 L: M1 j$ F8 OWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . [7 f: [1 h" d* c
( U4 n8 h. u+ g9 _! d; m
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
1 r$ w g3 m5 W8 b) u2 x, H- `3 g/ P+ R: y. p, x
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- $ u v* c/ _" I7 M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.0 t! \; p& N1 j7 ] c2 U( ?: C
. Z' P6 M6 k$ X$ UGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # b+ {; r* X$ ^$ q3 o4 A
5 }8 a; [4 l/ F8 F3 `2 e& OWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
% `2 i* a X. O3 C5 g6 T7 \7 _! l. _
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' O9 F% b% _6 g+ `$ L
3 y9 i( v5 f2 t8 z& P! u ?& v
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. o7 ^& i9 k1 M
; V& [" g8 K0 L- P0 D: X8 iWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 @3 o2 w5 \ K4 v2 e, W- t5 \
- K8 e8 J) P9 X8 q' Z
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / J3 r. | B. h& q
7 F, Z W0 {! [
Rinse conditioner off hair.. v& D, m2 t; ^' M/ w7 m% R: g. W
2 l9 b3 I: u4 ~Shave armpits and legs.' `% z3 Z5 M$ }3 c& A- m2 _* x
w6 i9 i# k) Z3 T1 R9 f1 MTurn off shower.
* r/ G9 }, M8 r, E: D1 |
* `! B/ l/ l* o5 H. k3 ASqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
" K0 R; O8 \: R+ A: p7 }( D# j. R
# _, W1 g$ [, v. j6 E' d4 BSpray mold spots with Tilex. ; i1 H X6 r1 q; m
' h9 [0 [4 H( {; ~
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
, S; e# d, ^1 n, U5 r( z1 R* R
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
5 y$ C3 X6 Q3 N
1 d1 W/ H+ k' \! H0 rReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
1 n' Z& R1 [# {
% U) q3 R& J) k# q: W; y: CIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # I) X3 D* ~6 x7 F
* B! A6 |. g* S) Q
* m" [+ h5 ~( RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
4 h) X/ n( `2 ^5 ]
: y* a0 g k; m/ V) n8 STake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
( Z% ]7 D- q1 l! E! `/ I) D+ n
2 y0 H* r( s8 `0 zWalk naked to the bathroom.* m+ h) X5 C: c5 ~
8 [ U; D0 B1 sIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * ?5 \0 ^- n6 C/ t. ^& l" O0 f
! {6 A# d, B( m* X, i
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ) I( D- f( Y8 w5 g7 r5 k! I$ z% s
& H& l" n4 v$ R8 v, d0 _Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
# |! \3 r j* k$ u" i m \/ N$ T1 c$ x) }* k5 y
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
8 C4 g8 F2 N6 G L* R( b" b
5 E4 A8 m( ^: I2 e \* L: CBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 [: ]+ \, W0 J; g Z
0 Y+ j0 O" w8 V7 W3 iFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
2 V! Y2 M$ h5 Y- t9 [' _- V
; O p7 Z; z. `6 C% D8 @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
/ R" E( o: Y* {/ J" Q0 a3 ^
: I! _$ j1 r7 ]5 {5 D3 |; LWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 s& U% I8 s- t8 G' ~
2 K5 o/ i- z0 b4 T2 J! WWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
2 Z) V0 _9 g2 U
, C7 I& Y6 c9 WPee. * d5 Y$ {2 `' ~7 H
* E, w9 n) G: L' W( ERinse off and get out of shower. 8 ]: p$ C% J6 ?2 K% ~! E
5 B* v9 {! ~" APartially dry off.
5 ?/ i7 B+ U0 c- T' j* }) ]! t, t. x9 C1 l3 g& O1 f
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % _8 S* Q5 q" s' e% o
- c1 E; f) P. X. E# z L
Admire wiener size in mirror again. $ C; P* {7 x2 t* y8 [( P% @' ]
$ F# z1 `8 `, CLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
! q8 ^2 B- B% |8 F7 K# D$ ]
+ p |. }* [7 f! P1 y* ]1 A9 \' d8 J: XReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. , Y i% [3 W3 B- G, T/ @' |
5 }* e1 y* i. r% j
Throw wet towel on bed.
0 l; ?, R7 H6 C9 q( ]0 q* K7 b7 e, v. L+ ]! ?4 e5 ?6 [
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|