 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- }# v. `, `; Z% z* |* @- v3 u% \
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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& r0 X* r% B! _" F- A4 }9 C4 ~ k1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
c. ]3 P1 M8 y" j1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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' |2 \5 `8 m2 s( L1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it+ r4 u6 K5 S4 H6 U/ R+ ]$ C
down." z& n$ d. k! B$ B' n/ y6 R
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about $ f6 [) V8 E( z; V( E9 f8 m5 t
you; g# i; L' t7 c% n/ e9 L
leaving it down.
v4 v5 ^0 t) f: ?5 ?1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?. ]/ M" b! C* O Y: r
# R6 D4 u2 O6 n4 H1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides." z7 v Q8 h7 s2 |; [0 h( F: q
Let it be.
, f4 w1 y/ |( D8 u' ^2 {& m1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去( o% t$ w) X4 x7 y4 R
7 q, Z+ u; _- t" x( y: K1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
: z, s% r# l9 H( I4 q- e! a% u, Ethat way.+ b/ n- s: m+ E# U% B+ [
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!1 b0 U: p' I/ Z9 p
' V/ d7 d3 E9 ]1 C+ g2 T1. Crying is blackmail.8 s; Z; W( A0 I/ w
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.) C/ }" G: f! K3 w
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 ^9 J" e( H) W2 E: F4 B2 L
Strong hints do not work!
, Y2 i, }0 H$ ^' ], V7 z) Y9 iObvious hints do not work!
3 Y( `% l2 `; b! K4 r1 g+ y& OJust say it!
~9 B* `" V; x1 ~7 }$ `- r/ c" i1,你想要什么就说
5 p1 B9 V( I8 ^9 v我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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/ v- D! c& K2 u) k) x5 b1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
G, e) [; S4 s/ Tquestion.
4 l8 J- C$ } e# N6 N# W3 [1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's' m8 W' ?5 {; ^) o& t) u, j* t7 {& p
what we do." c' `. p) ?- g8 a& M
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for./ j* {$ R5 A+ B4 d
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。0 L7 `8 i9 x! N5 |8 |
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- m% o! _! |8 _1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1 q) W/ b+ }, h( ^1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. _3 T; b' S1 ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
( T8 i( m1 @" t我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 t- [ {8 D5 ~, X
to act like soap opera guys.
1 a, q# ^( j4 Q# c$ W1 c1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.+ m9 w% X! K7 ]6 E
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
2 x6 t% U/ o; t* ~% d- ?+ mmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one." T/ z0 S; S3 Y6 f6 Q, `2 ^( W
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。% ?! @9 [. E& F# Z5 s: @+ _
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
5 E9 o$ P6 p5 Y! O: Z1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: B, }$ j7 |( u, ?/ g1 {2 N$ g
done. Not both.9 a! y+ ^4 H3 Z- g3 [) Z
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.8 W4 s, n% \1 H8 ]* `3 c
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
2 `* a" }: Q6 _$ Acommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. {& |: @1 P: l. {8 |, x+ R
" l% U) s. H, K* ^1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.& z9 `8 S7 I" m! Y5 }
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
% y% ?- y/ M! ?$ m2 C7 @We have no idea what mauve is. ~2 k; M) M) w* a V
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.2 l- v) x8 x+ T0 U" q. P
* p! D# D) j' h& F( x5 B1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
3 B8 m5 _0 |- R: F' D4 Onothing's wrong.- h+ w* x1 y# J8 ]
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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- N% @5 u( }0 {) Q/ j/ [( i1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
/ ~& k3 q1 @' C) x5 M, Ayou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is9 m* L6 F7 \: W5 D$ ?3 m
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
! J! a# m9 D! @! O# N! J# `discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.3 ^$ P5 `7 v+ t* S; v
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1. You have enough clothes." y6 S" U7 e' W& i
( O; M( h! C. C0 U( j4 b* M1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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* `/ i, k, M0 T; w4 m1. Thank you for reading this.
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4 @! r1 ] `( X' s" OYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 ]( T k+ f2 G* T+ SBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.- u( ]" ^ F" a, a! N
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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