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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- }# v. `, `; Z% z* |* @- v3 u% \
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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& r0 X* r% B! _" F- A4 }9 C4 ~  k1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
  c. ]3 P1 M8 y" j1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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' |2 \5 `8 m2 s( L1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it+ r4 u6 K5 S4 H6 U/ R+ ]$ C
down." z& n$ d. k! B$ B' n/ y6 R
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about $ f6 [) V8 E( z; V( E9 f8 m5 t
you; g# i; L' t7 c% n/ e9 L
leaving it down.
  v4 v5 ^0 t) f: ?5 ?1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?. ]/ M" b! C* O  Y: r

# R6 D4 u2 O6 n4 H1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides." z7 v  Q8 h7 s2 |; [0 h( F: q
Let it be.
, f4 w1 y/ |( D8 u' ^2 {& m1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去( o% t$ w) X4 x7 y4 R

7 q, Z+ u; _- t" x( y: K1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
: z, s% r# l9 H( I4 q- e! a% u, Ethat way.+ b/ n- s: m+ E# U% B+ [
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!1 b0 U: p' I/ Z9 p

' V/ d7 d3 E9 ]1 C+ g2 T1. Crying is blackmail.8 s; Z; W( A0 I/ w
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.) C/ }" G: f! K3 w
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 ^9 J" e( H) W2 E: F4 B2 L
Strong hints do not work!
, Y2 i, }0 H$ ^' ], V7 z) Y9 iObvious hints do not work!
3 Y( `% l2 `; b! K4 r1 g+ y& OJust say it!
  ~9 B* `" V; x1 ~7 }$ `- r/ c" i1,你想要什么就说
5 p1 B9 V( I8 ^9 v我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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/ v- D! c& K2 u) k) x5 b1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
  G, e) [; S4 s/ Tquestion.
4 l8 J- C$ }  e# N6 N# W3 [1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's' m8 W' ?5 {; ^) o& t) u, j* t7 {& p
what we do." c' `. p) ?- g8 a& M
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for./ j* {$ R5 A+ B4 d
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。0 L7 `8 i9 x! N5 |8 |
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
- m% o! _! |8 _1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1 q) W/ b+ }, h( ^1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  _3 T; b' S1 ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
( T8 i( m1 @" t我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 t- [  {8 D5 ~, X
to act like soap opera guys.
1 a, q# ^( j4 Q# c$ W1 c1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.+ m9 w% X! K7 ]6 E
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
2 x6 t% U/ o; t* ~% d- ?+ mmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one." T/ z0 S; S3 Y6 f6 Q, `2 ^( W
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。% ?! @9 [. E& F# Z5 s: @+ _
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
5 E9 o$ P6 p5 Y! O: Z1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: B, }$ j7 |( u, ?/ g1 {2 N$ g
done. Not both.9 a! y+ ^4 H3 Z- g3 [) Z
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.8 W4 s, n% \1 H8 ]* `3 c
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
2 `* a" }: Q6 _$ Acommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.  {& |: @1 P: l. {8 |, x+ R

" l% U) s. H, K* ^1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.& z9 `8 S7 I" m! Y5 }
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
% y% ?- y/ M! ?$ m2 C7 @We have no idea what mauve is.  ~2 k; M) M) w* a  V
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.2 l- v) x8 x+ T0 U" q. P

* p! D# D) j' h& F( x5 B1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
3 B8 m5 _0 |- R: F' D4 Onothing's wrong.- h+ w* x1 y# J8 ]
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
8 M9 |5 V# n2 }7 Y- `
- N% @5 u( }0 {) Q/ j/ [( i1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
/ ~& k3 q1 @' C) x5 M, Ayou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is9 m* L6 F7 \: W5 D$ ?3 m
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
! J! a# m9 D! @! O# N! J# `discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.3 ^$ P5 `7 v+ t* S; v
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1. You have enough clothes." y6 S" U7 e' W& i

( O; M( h! C. C0 U( j4 b* M1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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* `/ i, k, M0 T; w4 m1. Thank you for reading this.
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4 @! r1 ]  `( X' s" OYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 ]( T  k+ f2 G* T+ SBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.- u( ]" ^  F" a, a! N
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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. f' z* [+ E& O* M/ o+ {" q4 z0 u* {5 G1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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+ s: f- i  |1 x; b, M1 u% K1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?$ C: @0 ~' u: n0 M1 f1 a

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0 i# B6 h7 E% ?. F! o+ @1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
, \6 d% ~& V) v5 E" z. `我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!5 M% ]$ y1 B. F& G6 e: t
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2 L. W7 a; h. x3 m) `1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
1 T( _+ g( W) F) p3 o所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。; R+ z( s+ n- t5 Z* f
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( F9 D. c0 M# j0 ^$ F% l' @" \6 ?( b1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
$ [/ k8 ~3 y: |6 p6 L如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。* L7 U8 V: U3 H( G8 P. V

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+ M# Z! Y" p, M/ ^( n4 t1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.6 e' F4 l- H0 f# k
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。$ i1 t. Y, g6 ?$ A

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.$ z6 V; }- n% _. s* K
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
# @: H$ J, o7 \6 r: Z; l1 ~ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
; p& N. n; \3 X( F3 @2 N: M! D所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置4 G6 b( m- X  P* W$ N3 {

5 f+ \/ p0 b/ C. f, _0 t还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.+ Q& e' b. r7 d3 T$ S3 L
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你; K4 ?  N" _1 o7 C: p: L' f

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% j( q. w# X( L* W, `% E( @1 n+ B+ s1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
& `9 u0 c, r0 r" }; Z0 r不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
7 ~7 ]4 Z4 b( S9 _! h; C5 V& X( g7 Y( C& f/ |- m
1. You have enough clothes.
6 A' `4 O* _3 {( B5 K- p% A" Q你的衣服足够多了
" V- s* f( ~9 ]! }
4 k" d9 G* X  V; I0 w1. You have too many shoes.
# F: D- q3 N$ L' _) u4 E你的鞋子也太多了吧
+ F& d8 s& C: }
7 x0 v% A6 U5 F: @! {5 e: G) p1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!: c! T* ]1 o( _- g. k
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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1. Thank you for reading this.
0 m; m/ z! Z; e多谢你能看完这个( T2 k& _2 z3 p

( @8 D- A! K# f; b9 eYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
1 k. H, C: }5 j6 [5 y2 l我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:0 Y7 R5 w+ b# S+ w

3 }$ u! n7 p9 B' p' @2 b# K这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置$ k9 f2 U4 W, E+ e6 [5 T$ w
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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* m$ n- ]( k: q1 T+ h. b应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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* B7 L- a- l5 d玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
  Y* X6 Y7 i( H* ^1. You have enough clothes.8 G6 K; R$ L$ m0 j5 ~
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.8 J. z! ~" E. \2 [+ b3 L3 \% j5 t
你的鞋子也太多了吧

1 L7 E. g9 \  b& F3 v9 U这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
- }. p+ b5 {# F
8 D" J0 g6 J* ]1 d& X* j----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.0 T& `1 ~9 C# D, E, x
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!6 v, d% D  I0 Y, m
Strong hints do not work!
2 J4 L7 E- J. Q% q3 T2 aObvious hints do not work!
  N# E* x. O& S  L8 WJust say it!
9 \$ L4 C6 {& k6 Y! f8 z1,你想要什么就说
& n( r* o* [, p8 h- s, Y9 S我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!, |& d' Z) {4 {2 N. {) p: i  b

  E8 J; ~# z3 ~# a6 b% [关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
5 p( k, i+ U$ O& d) K/ Q* O1. Ask for what you want.7 x4 l* w7 f' Y/ H5 b' _( I
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!. l' ^1 s+ E# _3 J+ C
Strong hints do not work!
3 y6 W; i4 k  L7 d) m3 OObvious hints do not work!% F- s2 ~/ s+ }. `6 W; v" V" N8 C
Just say it!+ C! u) Q% G$ }
1,你想要什么就说
! n! Z$ q& s& r: E我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
# ?7 T; U* |: d! `4 `/ w# h

2 E  x: |$ f7 k9 o9 O, l$ K  t( o瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:3 y6 H& U! |& Y# k& S$ l
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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; S( g/ m! P4 L# y7 f+ Fhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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6 V* r* b% B6 j
" {, r. p$ P$ s  n% [; l' Z& W咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
4 a" n% D" g+ C$ n: _1 R7 A" Q2 t
' S2 g  {5 h3 P+ |6 }1 N4 Qhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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# d! s' l+ x  m9 `8 `" ~7 n- {这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。  l$ `% Y7 f3 \) v& P, {  |
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:: U7 [& s+ `' n6 C

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3 W% v- g7 B0 I7 u" s! K这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。: P3 `: ?+ T/ o4 w* s

7 {& m8 [/ z% M0 T$ G, C& b还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?! _. s% K. o$ ^! M4 V! D9 {' w& m

8 h2 F- Q) H7 L$ Y, U( J& j8 U回答到那个帖子下面了
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