 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
9 u& e0 t" p8 f0 Q; z请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
: m" G5 P' v7 S. h3 o- q1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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# Q- _9 x3 S- Q; k# |# `- V1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it1 s* V7 y* M* s. }
down.
+ T$ x, _) m. l( wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about : y. @3 z& X* }
you) c/ S$ Z/ U$ f9 U
leaving it down.
* R+ p; w2 d4 F; \, M7 O9 ]- s1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.' V" r% p( Y6 D
Let it be.
) w: k p- o9 g- h4 X5 ]: m2 ]1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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. _- l2 B/ w- |" r, }9 H1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
5 C( a/ S/ x: D+ Kthat way.! ?/ Y9 r* j2 M
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!) n0 K! b! @, e( n
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1. Crying is blackmail.4 O9 A: Q/ Y* s! X. ^& a! }
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.' B4 b! `: `. }; {
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( u6 c5 L& ]. j! k7 D9 f
Strong hints do not work!
7 |$ C, H& H NObvious hints do not work!' M+ J5 @5 I5 D) Y; k
Just say it!
, n4 V2 ]1 J/ }* R1,你想要什么就说4 f4 O" B% T4 `* ], @
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说! f& J" C/ C2 K* `8 k. \
( Q8 B% i* _, [; c6 A1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + w) [% s: s4 A N9 a4 k
question.( e& ]' O. j g2 u
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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5 `2 _- B; n- g% m& b. D1 ?+ [1 \1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
& h$ n* ]) S% A% D) L gwhat we do.- J" Z0 f6 r6 ?
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.3 t2 z4 }6 T3 p3 z
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。2 Z* q2 d5 ~5 `8 ~6 j
9 e; r/ J" g' K2 w# A8 }1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.7 b1 \9 p z- v
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去 K& J% V: v; N4 y: d
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& A* n" Q. p/ ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days., `( L: o: i o: m o4 d! B
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了5 a- [% ]9 L* D& M
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
* z8 U) O1 a% ^to act like soap opera guys., b+ k+ O9 z4 @( s3 P" ^
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们- r/ X8 I. y6 B C2 k l
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
9 S9 Z8 f1 N9 D5 ?# l4 C6 o0 u/ D- C1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 Y/ f3 {+ i9 _ K8 J c1 m6 U
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
' }/ a, N n; v r1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
& d' L7 R( c" |1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it# A: q& N7 \1 _
done. Not both.
9 Y M/ [3 M C. kIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.' r8 x, _% n1 ?! k
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ G6 V: u2 q8 C2 x7 a* T4 D: ^9 T
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.& j$ h7 M+ ]6 k: q3 M% V# Q! ~
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.5 L. ~( K4 w8 j# t" \/ H0 n
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ D+ p7 T9 @( m* I u+ z0 {We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.6 P& ?( p( d- b, n) a7 o" }6 t
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
: Z& z" V6 s6 ^+ anothing's wrong.
7 ?2 }7 ^$ l! a1 B/ [. ~8 p) UWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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v9 U6 L8 J. w; Q9 a: r0 I1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer7 a- k6 W$ _; d( P: W3 v8 P
you don't want to hear.- p; {! o6 m3 J) U
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
, Q$ h7 v4 p1 k2 r0 `fine...Really.8 r) E: d0 f: ?# C7 l
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to4 f. K, v1 y; V) J5 C+ y9 k) _
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.$ G* ^9 b$ w1 R( P6 \9 ?+ u/ [7 t
8 |( F A* n# R, h/ b+ x9 a1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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8 t) z: w+ C/ @+ l+ B7 H4 t1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.2 B0 x( T7 E6 Q. x: T% ~$ f: K
0 S) N& t# V! I5 ]/ W1 fYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;, S8 W- J4 \; _9 d
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.* W- `6 M r1 t0 o7 u& S3 c
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. B' J6 j! h& H
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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