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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
9 u& e0 t" p8 f0 Q; z请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
: m" G5 P' v7 S. h3 o- q1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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# Q- _9 x3 S- Q; k# |# `- V1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it1 s* V7 y* M* s. }
down.
+ T$ x, _) m. l( wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about : y. @3 z& X* }
you) c/ S$ Z/ U$ f9 U
leaving it down.
* R+ p; w2 d4 F; \, M7 O9 ]- s1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.' V" r% p( Y6 D
Let it be.
) w: k  p- o9 g- h4 X5 ]: m2 ]1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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. _- l2 B/ w- |" r, }9 H1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
5 C( a/ S/ x: D+ Kthat way.! ?/ Y9 r* j2 M
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!) n0 K! b! @, e( n
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1. Crying is blackmail.4 O9 A: Q/ Y* s! X. ^& a! }
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.' B4 b! `: `. }; {
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( u6 c5 L& ]. j! k7 D9 f
Strong hints do not work!
7 |$ C, H& H  NObvious hints do not work!' M+ J5 @5 I5 D) Y; k
Just say it!
, n4 V2 ]1 J/ }* R1,你想要什么就说4 f4 O" B% T4 `* ], @
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!  f& J" C/ C2 K* `8 k. \

( Q8 B% i* _, [; c6 A1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + w) [% s: s4 A  N9 a4 k
question.( e& ]' O. j  g2 u
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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5 `2 _- B; n- g% m& b. D1 ?+ [1 \1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
& h$ n* ]) S% A% D) L  gwhat we do.- J" Z0 f6 r6 ?
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.3 t2 z4 }6 T3 p3 z
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。2 Z* q2 d5 ~5 `8 ~6 j

9 e; r/ J" g' K2 w# A8 }1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.7 b1 \9 p  z- v
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去  K& J% V: v; N4 y: d
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& A* n" Q. p/ ?
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days., `( L: o: i  o: m  o4 d! B
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了5 a- [% ]9 L* D& M
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
* z8 U) O1 a% ^to act like soap opera guys., b+ k+ O9 z4 @( s3 P" ^
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们- r/ X8 I. y6 B  C2 k  l
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
9 S9 Z8 f1 N9 D5 ?# l4 C6 o0 u/ D- C1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 Y/ f3 {+ i9 _  K8 J  c1 m6 U
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
' }/ a, N  n; v  r1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
' K8 f" i( A/ _' L0 p# |! q7 }7 N/ x  l; D/ M+ v) D
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
& d' L7 R( c" |1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it# A: q& N7 \1 _
done. Not both.
9 Y  M/ [3 M  C. kIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.' r8 x, _% n1 ?! k
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ G6 V: u2 q8 C2 x7 a* T4 D: ^9 T
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.& j$ h7 M+ ]6 k: q3 M% V# Q! ~
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.5 L. ~( K4 w8 j# t" \/ H0 n
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ D+ p7 T9 @( m* I  u+ z0 {We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.6 P& ?( p( d- b, n) a7 o" }6 t
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
: Z& z" V6 s6 ^+ anothing's wrong.
7 ?2 }7 ^$ l! a1 B/ [. ~8 p) UWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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  v9 U6 L8 J. w; Q9 a: r0 I1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer7 a- k6 W$ _; d( P: W3 v8 P
you don't want to hear.- p; {! o6 m3 J) U
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
, Q$ h7 v4 p1 k2 r0 `fine...Really.8 r) E: d0 f: ?# C7 l
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to4 f. K, v1 y; V) J5 C+ y9 k) _
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.$ G* ^9 b$ w1 R( P6 \9 ?+ u/ [7 t

8 |( F  A* n# R, h/ b+ x9 a1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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8 t) z: w+ C/ @+ l+ B7 H4 t1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.2 B0 x( T7 E6 Q. x: T% ~$ f: K

0 S) N& t# V! I5 ]/ W1 fYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;, S8 W- J4 \; _9 d
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.* W- `6 M  r1 t0 o7 u& S3 c
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.  B' J6 j! h& H
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。- t5 n; V+ n* `) j: B# ~* D
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?/ v6 L* h" c, Q  k1 _

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we." o0 e2 z, n5 e( J
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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4 L! K! d0 C/ N$ L( ~( ]9 z$ z1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.9 p2 u+ o0 o! e1 k' g! H
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。" J, J1 R6 f2 E7 Z: P+ v
' r. A) i) {% ^$ P. q& v) F

. K* f: S" j# m, w* y2 `9 |# p+ z3 P1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.! z' v+ J& ~" u4 R/ l
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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2 d: Z) v2 u* f* l8 V9 D1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
0 p" C3 i$ \( t. t# f7 ~& S如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。+ O% N  U6 s: k% A" Y( q# ]* {2 l

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3 V6 p5 q; ?4 g; p1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
) C/ k  j* Y7 u, O如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:, J$ ^* Q) ?' E7 k' i
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
% X3 |# s9 T( h所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置4 _& W, c* j# v& N1 ^9 }
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.8 s) i! o5 X6 E! f! Y
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你4 b7 B, I, ^4 F* y! w

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8 D$ D. k# A' Q% C; ]" w1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
2 ^5 D$ M5 ^1 c( ?0 k& d不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。" U4 g# n& n& p' N" t. i
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1. You have enough clothes.3 \! D- Y% a5 E) T7 x! H
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
4 N, R1 ]# z" o  h8 s$ l$ X- v# d你的鞋子也太多了吧$ N5 }7 b; R$ Y6 w' e8 x

* [6 i$ ?  u; ]: H1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
' d9 T# B; y$ J: g) @# F1 S我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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1. Thank you for reading this.
, _$ Z* `$ |8 m4 ^多谢你能看完这个9 |/ V% ]5 T/ W# _  ?! s# v" Y! B/ t
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping./ K( ]1 q& m: [- \/ W  a  D
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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: ^; X$ L! _6 Z/ M$ A' m6 w还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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+ h' y: d8 h6 [: b, z; C应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿8 W3 |7 _9 M* f9 \+ I0 B* A1 E( ?
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
) V9 R9 O7 z; k. U1. You have enough clothes.( E. c  `4 R; h; u0 P  T. }
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.8 p3 A& O" d: e" M$ [4 p
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
大型搬家
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?8 s8 c& o8 j' Q% |/ ]$ k, R
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.+ W, o& R  |2 y5 a* d) n
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
( L( i& l: u- ?0 @# ?4 c: n6 C2 FStrong hints do not work!: P5 _9 T$ ?/ D' M
Obvious hints do not work!
. u, [! |1 l4 j- W. e  KJust say it!6 {) u0 X% ^! f6 T
1,你想要什么就说+ {9 y' A. M% }1 E0 C$ x* _: X
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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9 B2 v. \# |& L/ L4 @9 ?) ~7 e关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
6 g1 _  \# {& N  q1. Ask for what you want.
  y& A, ]: y9 }* KLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
; E  }8 B' x9 WStrong hints do not work!4 }/ m+ |6 x2 ^
Obvious hints do not work!8 n: ^/ a+ J) r6 I2 e* L
Just say it!/ a) M/ {2 R0 W; b, w; E
1,你想要什么就说
$ B; D' u$ N: M( P+ e9 Z我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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4 U! O) M6 [' \% F8 u瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:8 V5 K0 `0 K- z: H; ]9 d
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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; S) I% ^7 Z$ }咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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! }; j9 d/ u( K+ rhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:( ]: X' _6 G7 ]3 j: _( Y# A5 h' G

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3 [( S9 H" w0 |, H( z0 N
: S: F4 T7 X  ]0 U  Y9 z) A! _2 v咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿( l" L4 }3 |2 p
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。* X. s' }, j2 g- c" w

; r9 ~/ v% A1 C: C& }4 z8 t还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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& E. _' y' \" ^' d这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。3 \& k: i  j# ^  C4 b( i, t' B
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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+ }" B! W* v" J" l$ v- p体会?3 y! L& H8 f5 M$ l8 u

4 J! [" K4 l+ t: g0 C' G回答到那个帖子下面了
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