 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* ~) U4 ]3 ^" V) }
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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8 S- E6 A9 q0 R# U N1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
, x, }8 D; {; L1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫- d- m' `8 k' b' N
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
3 h4 e, z4 _4 h) D7 _9 ~" B* W5 mdown.' _, Z" o: I3 {2 c. \$ a% @( M) d
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down. n" G/ `0 J/ o+ |2 j p, H& }- f
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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7 w0 M& {. H5 `8 `) g1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 X/ S5 z7 @* O, M h
Let it be.4 y" s' k( o: ?0 I0 l. h: `- n7 j+ @
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
6 v% ?6 r. E! X3 c+ z# m3 tthat way.
* A; v/ C" L b; s" k3 u1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.# W& {5 j$ I8 ?! G' N
1,哭泣是敲诈3 P h! A9 z) \4 a% u4 v
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1. Ask for what you want.
' {! e/ Y9 `3 g3 R' E& M8 o9 VLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!1 ]9 B# r" M9 a
Strong hints do not work!
7 D) Q" z- Z" h q9 c+ O' JObvious hints do not work!
6 S9 r7 a: E; m& }* r1 L& xJust say it!: ~! ?) P" P/ z. [/ P
1,你想要什么就说6 o5 F) X$ I) ]& H6 Q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!! w, ^5 l8 r) U9 O
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every : T( B1 i, W) X3 J- x
question.
3 a h1 J0 R' S7 s3 l1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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2 o t" \, Z% t$ d0 z: v: n: n1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's- z# ^- T, z) c9 |9 D( f0 L
what we do.
1 N, H) m5 `( a9 ^/ T. sSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.' W5 t9 Y7 f: Q& b
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.' ~% X3 B3 u& g
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.* l7 x* N! p# O$ H
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.8 |1 L1 G, J2 f6 Q* {4 ?
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了( N& Q3 B0 O) q a
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
2 }! U) H6 ^: o6 y. l7 i9 kto act like soap opera guys.
' T- ?, ]3 n6 L& J' j7 u8 D& o7 k1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们4 w: W+ c- q6 M
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 `0 X* m+ y2 J+ J1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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& `+ { |6 r" f1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
! b6 L8 K3 j5 b: W+ J. A9 z+ Rmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.2 \# n( w; F$ T1 a
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)! g/ ^) v& h. C0 {* u) _4 o
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it4 u) @/ n5 {: P0 [3 A% w9 k
done. Not both.
r2 H+ ^5 n& O; {: O7 qIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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" u6 Y+ N) c0 ?8 @1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.- r1 c8 F& N$ Q4 l
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
% K! K/ u9 p: N1 A' y1 }* hPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
7 A- O$ E6 d; a4 NWe have no idea what mauve is.. \3 M& W0 s1 M2 Q7 S
2 U! m! o3 }( w- e' ?7 J/ h- w1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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( F8 h$ i) I b1 o4 X0 \% k1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
1 B0 R& H# u* q- y- T$ q% ]3 znothing's wrong.) v' S+ g/ f; W- T
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer; x- l) T; f! ^
you don't want to hear.3 p3 c1 E0 Y3 f% x5 i' M4 m
[5 P/ U) m$ M# G) ]: m1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
5 _ |( @; j0 D1 |0 f; d3 k7 t" lfine...Really.( X$ N; z2 H; P# G3 o% ^
9 M- u [( }( ?( O. R3 n/ e1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to; @1 a& C" l3 o( W
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.) s9 A/ |8 Z" ^9 v5 T
$ k% f, S! h; @# R8 {: R7 @3 M& {1. You have enough clothes.+ J+ b5 X1 }8 ?7 l" P$ B
5 Z& x) k# N1 P1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!4 w! w3 v- ], w1 Z# A j5 {6 y
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1. Thank you for reading this.1 V* K* ?4 U0 Z, u6 \
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;* I( B3 k2 q$ q& _6 x( Z& X
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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0 l" f, H6 {. O- YPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
; y7 y- W3 h; h: g* C/ k0 @Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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