 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
: x! ~- }& c. p请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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# k' U; D( h( x0 y1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
/ x1 c2 N" f1 @$ r1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
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We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
" s1 F1 z+ I6 W5 J8 _you
7 p9 Z% m4 n. p. a6 ]' jleaving it down.( H1 X$ y& w u' @$ @5 u8 K- W
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.4 D6 O. J& d* {# i0 s9 M+ N
Let it be.
2 ~: _3 y" ]" A# V) M" f$ Y1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去5 U2 V9 P6 j' Z% g9 g! \) ~
; a0 [1 J- Z# P* d# z- E7 O( k1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it( h1 h0 h) C2 f
that way.1 z5 C7 \+ N4 E0 k4 t. q. Q
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！. Z5 C5 i( b# v; u3 Y+ h
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1. Crying is blackmail.
( y) M, m& t- v& X& _. D% n1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.6 M) y8 Q% M; a/ V, V
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!* V9 W6 m" e/ V( ]. T: y
Strong hints do not work!
b6 ~7 _3 K! ]* r8 |: t: [Obvious hints do not work!
) v' h, O U7 o' j+ K: rJust say it!
I" f. U( z! C# x% J9 ?1，你想要什么就说) ?& m3 Y- {7 f& V K% z3 M
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！1 g. v6 P: `6 R: L, B B
8 i* T+ a8 K4 }: L: b1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 1 _* q, V8 ^- t2 h! k6 n2 S1 d
question.- y G# f/ E5 y# I0 @4 }8 q7 r
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）6 \9 O- b, O6 V' L" b( u6 B
/ ~7 Y& C4 L2 e1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's! E1 |* l; N$ M* |6 m$ G
what we do.
K: s2 A! l' v4 Z0 q& _ wSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
+ [. a, t7 k$ h4 \ a1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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: K6 q- K) W; x- C1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
+ @* S0 R4 o* t7 V5 K1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去: u6 j0 c! b# p3 Z5 A9 B6 ?
, T) U6 d& N! {% L& D1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.8 G( `1 w! Z7 e% a, n# m# j
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
, p x5 T7 e# ]7 i. n. c我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us% ^# {+ O8 U9 Y1 Q a2 C5 a
to act like soap opera guys." l: z" b6 O3 ?+ U8 ~! N% q* ]6 e4 B
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们" D- i* m7 a5 r* c0 V0 ~6 T
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.# Q$ `( K$ R7 B5 S0 z7 r! B/ Z
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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6 g& g2 X/ D' W E1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
. f1 z) Z W* l9 \9 J" emakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
4 w2 \) J: C# x6 [. N7 N6 F I1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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; c3 J- [7 c" V7 r) {（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
4 n9 N6 u. g5 ~9 F1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
' l9 F- {" \% Tdone. Not both.( Z+ ~- a4 F5 Q8 v
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.8 T7 S& w( T( r9 S
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during4 L# a: m2 W. a2 v- v4 j8 \/ [' f
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
- ~4 _/ S+ w6 c& T( V& HPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.6 W0 x$ U0 d; O
We have no idea what mauve is.% |2 X9 ]% U* z9 m- P. _
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 N% B% N5 j( t( R9 G* x
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 n6 b/ }% x3 {; X! @+ H D
nothing's wrong.$ m4 X* \" s g+ e3 _. x y$ f! K, Y
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.3 ?$ n1 x) l/ X8 M
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer5 j; j$ m4 l- p0 t+ O5 h
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is$ S# J7 p7 F, v# G0 s; w1 p4 W
fine...Really.; Y1 R) Q, ?% _5 h* Z: ^
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to& I9 P5 A; v& n2 {6 S6 b! R5 p
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.& P' \3 f1 ~# n8 l! f
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.$ [# P' N: S; S& K; K* r9 [. p
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.: O% `' i" }7 | r( E$ b
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
& ?$ h1 w! C0 T9 t/ b; u% s6 J- \But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.) E; Z, i+ ~4 ]9 Y
) i+ J; |8 x4 `. \* y; QPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.+ ~# a1 u# B: _) h8 h4 g5 ] g( f
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
