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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!5 |0 @) C$ Z& v. X
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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3 a- c8 P4 O. ?: v: X1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.; _+ f) h- W" ~! N: i0 e# }
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫( M' b- z' C% `* N* V: k' p1 K
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 w4 M+ N- ]: _- i7 bdown.( R0 Z+ v6 E* `
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 0 L7 c( O( c6 X3 s& e* J9 k# _: {- Z
you
$ Z3 k* H, l" M1 f+ N8 q3 c4 H0 z6 gleaving it down.
* h+ r: p/ s4 {# W5 D1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
; D1 ^; m1 O$ }! l0 wLet it be." ^" {* C: Z1 L( }
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it% K1 E1 B' k8 m1 v, h3 ?
that way.
* Q# p$ B; x0 p: c+ ~6 [; r1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
. G) H9 y. E( L1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.; o- [5 V, U# i( \; u* @% c
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 \+ N8 X7 O& l5 I, Z- g/ X
Strong hints do not work!
! U, D8 t2 [5 I% z/ }- H/ j. E0 ^Obvious hints do not work!  Q. k* |: |; e
Just say it!5 ^* s& g- f; z' [
1,你想要什么就说6 d+ b% Y* p: l' M
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!: g9 M, _. n+ u

# y. K8 ]5 n4 {. [9 Y- \1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
+ X2 ]; L9 y4 c0 I2 squestion.& p9 ]& W4 ^( e" R. w* V& Z
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)( I1 I  _6 s3 w
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's  d: J$ M4 [' I" I. U8 _4 f
what we do.
* Q1 [( O  w. ?* s+ t) C2 _! L7 ]! }Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9 Q0 C. V' @* q0 {7 Z3 K" c% z6 p1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& D7 s" q1 o( r% [0 Q5 Z1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.# e7 O/ ~' u4 a1 K1 F' h- r/ D+ i
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去) H. u! h0 U8 c" [

! ?/ I, [8 ?7 Q! Z& _- Z: ?5 I1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
4 o, s: q: Z: V/ ?In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
. u6 A+ O' ?# q0 i我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us  [3 v3 S. P( Q% r
to act like soap opera guys.  j$ A. B/ K( P" P* g  E' W
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 w! Q. n' u  G& }$ q1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 `7 F9 D! o! r: j) M$ ~2 J, L; s; omakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.: P( t/ W9 |* `5 N
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
. U/ u( n8 e3 i! ?; t1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it7 V6 W7 T6 F0 a5 M# ]
done. Not both.
7 D6 p6 Y% S2 R1 W" OIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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: E& a- a% V: [$ Q9 g1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
$ V( I& t; ?- Lcommercials.
  {$ M+ {! L5 ?. Y
6 X, t  k2 b6 B1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.9 l# B5 J- q! V, Z  l( e
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.# e& ?7 M0 j. l
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.5 r4 R, \! `& ^1 B
We have no idea what mauve is.7 r8 Z1 y9 B/ v. _+ ^: g+ [! [) C; N

0 o8 @. K' G2 m1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
5 Q8 s' \' A7 g& ~: q. R! Hnothing's wrong.
6 {; ~* \, `9 I/ jWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.3 U2 a% C" A4 [2 U! E

. O, u5 u3 O  I2 i# F6 v8 n1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
7 s3 i, ^6 ?  tyou don't want to hear.: l' ?. m% ]' u/ a2 E$ N
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is$ }  t* j3 Q6 H8 p$ p$ x1 q: z
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to) `0 S, ^  _4 \
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 F! Y; f: e2 n+ w
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1. You have enough clothes.+ N  _  L1 b* B- T7 s8 |$ t. \

+ ], I8 ]% u1 T+ L, k1. You have too many shoes.7 v& T! D7 J" j+ Q; v# s' U: T

1 z8 Z0 u' \- V+ l1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;! y1 W/ Q3 |& P8 E8 P
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. ]9 y9 w( @8 G5 j$ s# {+ l3 uPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。. _2 S* ^3 X) E- I1 ^
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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  g/ ?6 g2 r; u$ K1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
. n1 E1 t9 [. w! @1 b1 E8 A0 I我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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, L/ Q; K! v3 N3 r1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
' o% n' d" C8 h6 p+ H& z所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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  Q4 R) E: a$ D$ o5 F1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
9 t* _) n0 w6 l* B如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。0 E$ Y' q# l6 l1 ~- _) g

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0 k/ q$ s( I  E0 r; c6 u8 Z& X1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.# \% t' e7 o8 \# ]  f- S" c
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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" f4 c4 Z7 x& H8 j( |1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.% S  V, t2 D7 V# k6 Z
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
大型搬家
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:3 F6 M! W" B. n; V# C
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.7 D- N' k! }" p+ o) X+ L( j4 D) j0 \; W
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。* B4 \" }! Q$ t- U% _
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置% i! M4 e$ z- L& l& e
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
  c' ?$ m7 U# Y0 M$ f& |7 U8 b( E如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你6 [' {5 E% T: j6 T: o1 N' H

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7 [. O; T) a. o7 n0 n5 J" C1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 d( c! `5 X3 |9 H3 P& b9 N
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。- [/ p7 z# C& N% o1 H$ q: y% a

% m6 u- `* b5 @- ?* `. M1. You have enough clothes.
) f: J- m3 h, p4 `' S你的衣服足够多了* N: x7 Q: [* B- _6 w8 U
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1. You have too many shoes.5 i% |! v2 B, [; M4 @% y
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
5 r/ L" b. W3 |我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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2 {% \/ N' ~" a3 x& ?9 t1. Thank you for reading this.5 W' @  T% L# d# x- j
多谢你能看完这个
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/ e. l" ]4 I* x; bYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.7 p5 U9 y% |" F! I! P5 d
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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! x- E# \/ I( B应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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  x5 B- k- G6 J$ a1 ^/ g0 i/ m+ |  F' v玩玩,献丑了哈
大型搬家
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
/ z0 U1 _& I: `' m9 d1. You have enough clothes.% n% y5 @; b' F# G+ b3 G" K
你的衣服足够多了
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0 e+ W" l- F# p1. You have too many shoes.3 F! U! F! ]8 k& v; P, x. [
你的鞋子也太多了吧

* n& A, J4 V0 L这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
6 p4 d' o: v/ @
4 b$ |- M: i7 }----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
9 ~. I9 C, ]- _) ?$ A# d8 K+ Z4 ^Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
0 j- z- z% C) a; R: e0 p% V6 DStrong hints do not work!) f; W) u( p5 b0 f2 Z
Obvious hints do not work!" q! ?' t1 p+ d. v% F& ~  H
Just say it!9 z1 f+ r  h0 s7 C
1,你想要什么就说
2 d, `! |. C( L0 G6 _, Q: J我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
4 ~$ b5 E7 }# f3 I/ V1 e1. Ask for what you want.
# i  p$ m* e& W4 s) C, mLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( m, g6 N- }/ V2 S
Strong hints do not work!+ I# L0 q/ _. C- l! D. j8 j( g
Obvious hints do not work!( T3 |; _8 @+ K) j4 F% T
Just say it!
$ f) F* b/ L7 \2 i2 e. m! ^1,你想要什么就说
- B% Y0 H& n, }- D, M% z/ z8 v我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:" [4 O0 S9 [  S# B" q
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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( q7 X& C6 b" ^1 Q# k咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:% W/ c  e; c% e6 d% K+ }3 o

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) E! R7 v+ E+ O( v! @3 J咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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( {0 H5 V9 H3 p1 v7 s: A3 f1 A这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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! Q2 r, O# A% x# B3 V  u3 a7 d. Y" y' E还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。- c7 G  [; y- ?: r- m/ n3 ]

/ k' {) k$ b0 d! ?还想问问你的体会呢!

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4 }& X7 A$ o! |0 k$ D* F体会?4 I) D+ Q8 t8 l
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