 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!5 |0 @) C$ Z& v. X
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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3 a- c8 P4 O. ?: v: X1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.; _+ f) h- W" ~! N: i0 e# }
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫( M' b- z' C% `* N* V: k' p1 K
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 w4 M+ N- ]: _- i7 bdown.( R0 Z+ v6 E* `
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 0 L7 c( O( c6 X3 s& e* J9 k# _: {- Z
you
$ Z3 k* H, l" M1 f+ N8 q3 c4 H0 z6 gleaving it down.
* h+ r: p/ s4 {# W5 D1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
; D1 ^; m1 O$ }! l0 wLet it be." ^" {* C: Z1 L( }
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it% K1 E1 B' k8 m1 v, h3 ?
that way.
* Q# p$ B; x0 p: c+ ~6 [; r1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
. G) H9 y. E( L1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.; o- [5 V, U# i( \; u* @% c
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 \+ N8 X7 O& l5 I, Z- g/ X
Strong hints do not work!
! U, D8 t2 [5 I% z/ }- H/ j. E0 ^Obvious hints do not work! Q. k* |: |; e
Just say it!5 ^* s& g- f; z' [
1,你想要什么就说6 d+ b% Y* p: l' M
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!: g9 M, _. n+ u
# y. K8 ]5 n4 {. [9 Y- \1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)( I1 I _6 s3 w
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's d: J$ M4 [' I" I. U8 _4 f
what we do.
* Q1 [( O w. ?* s+ t) C2 _! L7 ]! }Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9 Q0 C. V' @* q0 {7 Z3 K" c% z6 p1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& D7 s" q1 o( r% [0 Q5 Z1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.# e7 O/ ~' u4 a1 K1 F' h- r/ D+ i
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去) H. u! h0 U8 c" [
! ?/ I, [8 ?7 Q! Z& _- Z: ?5 I1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
4 o, s: q: Z: V/ ?In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
. u6 A+ O' ?# q0 i我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us [3 v3 S. P( Q% r
to act like soap opera guys. j$ A. B/ K( P" P* g E' W
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 w! Q. n' u G& }$ q1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 `7 F9 D! o! r: j) M$ ~2 J, L; s; omakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.: P( t/ W9 |* `5 N
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
. U/ u( n8 e3 i! ?; t1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it7 V6 W7 T6 F0 a5 M# ]
done. Not both.
7 D6 p6 Y% S2 R1 W" OIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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: E& a- a% V: [$ Q9 g1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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6 X, t k2 b6 B1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.9 l# B5 J- q! V, Z l( e
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.# e& ?7 M0 j. l
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.5 r4 R, \! `& ^1 B
We have no idea what mauve is.7 r8 Z1 y9 B/ v. _+ ^: g+ [! [) C; N
0 o8 @. K' G2 m1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
5 Q8 s' \' A7 g& ~: q. R! Hnothing's wrong.
6 {; ~* \, `9 I/ jWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.3 U2 a% C" A4 [2 U! E
. O, u5 u3 O I2 i# F6 v8 n1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
7 s3 i, ^6 ? tyou don't want to hear.: l' ?. m% ]' u/ a2 E$ N
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is$ } t* j3 Q6 H8 p$ p$ x1 q: z
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to) `0 S, ^ _4 \
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 F! Y; f: e2 n+ w
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1. You have enough clothes.+ N _ L1 b* B- T7 s8 |$ t. \
+ ], I8 ]% u1 T+ L, k1. You have too many shoes.7 v& T! D7 J" j+ Q; v# s' U: T
1 z8 Z0 u' \- V+ l1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;! y1 W/ Q3 |& P8 E8 P
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. ]9 y9 w( @8 G5 j$ s# {+ l3 uPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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