 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. y" l- J h; H: R/ d
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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2 H" u/ W3 Z/ o/ H! ]! V1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.* ]4 y7 H+ S& a- v4 E! W& z
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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% y/ z) b. }# R" I) c+ L/ J3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.+ W1 |( y* U- a6 r( s5 t
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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/ b" F/ U& D- u. c5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.2 p# Z1 a5 k& C1 d: Z
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/ [/ ^8 l. W* J( _; F6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area& q4 ]4 f" L+ A
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.: c* M0 P" c Z' ~9 k
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
" p# ~( P: V6 b9 E/ |* }% n5 {'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'. u( H! }9 b3 y9 ]/ j( w) K- P
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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; i9 I+ ]" X3 k( C( P10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.# [" Y7 ?2 d0 ]
k3 U" j% J) {, t" w+ ?$ p! H11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.& ?0 C/ Z- L$ a7 x
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. l( M6 x6 k+ ~! a14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!), L3 w4 `: C9 F! u4 ^
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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