 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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( u& _3 Y* q0 aThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:1 f6 D: N8 S4 `+ c4 O- a+ q& U
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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' B7 U- Z/ \) W1 h9 ~) z0 W2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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- r: K( _( u5 P0 J( ]0 R8 A3 }' i3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& e2 M: F) \; M. y( T2 f! Y
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.! F8 V$ K) X* r. V
. W7 j4 u: I3 ]: l) ^& w5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 c3 O3 i' h3 [0 [$ g6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area, }3 S2 A2 Q# S+ q
+ f0 s7 h, @4 A, i7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.3 ?; h& N1 O; v- q8 z
. ?9 J' ~9 \2 F8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask/ L. w- e# ^# e _; D
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'( h" u: c) a9 L4 _5 g0 }
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.9 s& P6 ?) p+ g. L* P
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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+ N6 J3 X. i2 y9 K1 W11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme." \) ]' s: A" w' t. d8 U
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!' L. \9 \. ?+ `6 D" f
% j- q/ @4 i0 ]* D% q7 f4 c14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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9 ~) k& F0 x E! z. I4 G# P9 h% UAnd; last, but not least!)
. K* s, X7 h4 [1 M15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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