In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
# X) t2 i4 |" D: O, P5 U
In the garden of my heart
; ]2 s+ e+ m* j: `* T1 EYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
' x5 g9 Q+ I% C" J7 x9 D0 i0 bThrough darkness to light
5 E4 S' {# ]/ u3 ~5 h' X1 zNourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

1 Y+ _! v0 n4 ~2 M$ _  ?In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
7 z/ k. i% V  C) BMay promises fade in the sea
2 K# d& ?& Z) Q, S; @6 mSewing back every broken pieces
, |$ _$ \. r- p) Q3 L2 s- k$ RBursting the love out of me

6 a0 K. ~1 \8 b  B[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
$ g5 A1 V* o6 j' n- n( Y5 D听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
0 d6 {% }' T: A+ O+ j
In the garden of my heart
) G2 c& H: u# X, `+ n% hYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
! a+ \; Y/ B$ ANourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

+ ^& A/ U; A; ~7 n& Q8 ^* `5 D
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
% g' ~3 f) o9 ]. a# y; A: l
/ s: y1 c- `4 X. a写得真好。
! U0 F/ q$ v! `* a) j5 K2 T" w: _
加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
% t0 W! s5 ?/ h$ R: G眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
( }2 e' g1 c, W0 K9 m' u加精加精！

( E, \6 E3 \6 K5 U* r. ^我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

9 @0 g) l& H0 r2 j/ S/ rSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
0 _) n  p# g; s) z' Y8 u, F: k8 y
8 G6 X( ^. l7 ]1 c3 }Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

6 ]; x% c0 W% S' s
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
+ V! D; i" [  \2 M+ ~
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

7 y5 s8 H: t, n: p& e7 o  v2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

5 R4 S% o0 G9 A! F- U2 V; ]8 ZShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

% l% `0 ]6 o+ f! [$ u+ N8 Z5 eShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
+ N, l! J% ~% I0 X! X
) [1 H7 G3 u3 d1 p& P. wShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
5 }/ j# s8 B4 G: a* d! aFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
/ U4 j: j# M, c& I  }To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
- K! E# E$ g2 u1 f3 ^! ?I'll be there too,
2 J; y1 p  N6 _% JSniffing it's fragrance
( A) ?" K) `/ |, W4 F2 x! bRight next to you.
+ ?& i1 @  U! t* b. R# N, m4 e% i
# l1 ^  s: t+ `* }  D  e5 {# CDon't be sad
. n1 z% s# b- O, }When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
# E- r9 r/ i: T8 M& jWild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
, u" J$ i/ T2 o) h4 e# l" {( xPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
0 b3 B( y$ N3 R( h* r& t- Y/ H7 YTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
  ]8 x) @0 I; X. [& ?& bWhile I'm waiting for thee.