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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!. Q- k; |! G- |' _6 ?7 U& P! P3 C

2 `) i* J; q+ m9 FIn the garden of my heart# Z+ }% Y, N3 `; l$ K2 P
You planted a tree
5 |* l' j3 U5 t. b* @' `" fFrom sunset til dawn
" u6 ], `6 c. iThrough darkness to light+ I  |; B. P# w  u
Nourished with my soul- r$ {: E- r0 o( P
Devoured my sorrow by thee8 o0 w7 r" k9 k8 V1 z. W2 [
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In the memory of my life& D: z' `) K* w
You planted a dream
3 h' o  ]5 ]' KShould the sky fall down on me
+ L6 x* \& M5 i( DMay promises fade in the sea6 h- G: ~. @1 J! S
Sewing back every broken pieces
3 r, {9 Y9 B- uBursting the love out of me
' x7 n' b% c5 N; t. d7 t# f' w  E8 ?9 P( Q9 ?6 Y/ w; n$ u
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
! u: q& Q  H9 K- d; Y: e  w" C听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
' g5 M. J# i) T5 f8 \$ Q+ N/ b" h% ?1 U9 ^& G% v
In the garden of my heart. Z9 V$ Z2 v/ m, C0 ^, m$ m1 }
You planted a tree! m2 a8 D) T# v5 b8 W7 R% g
From sunset til dawn3 N4 I+ Y% y; \2 ^+ Q2 M! ?) m
Through darkness to light
& l* I3 j0 V. r; ^# ^Nourished with my soul
% r% ~5 S) C. o" n# \7 b$ dDevoured my so ...

' o* D/ K& f) X3 s$ S( S" u" k( m) A2 e
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?$ a) g7 n0 R) v: O8 \

# c+ j7 k- y) c: ^" j  l写得真好。
2 m. [/ t: X% I9 L8 A
2 K  `1 X9 o5 E+ n5 u  `加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
9 y8 s, {6 r# f* B0 X眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
( w- q1 B, t; v5 Z5 |. o写得真好。/ W; A; J% ]' S& g& a: s
加精加精!

1 z$ |& c  F# Y/ O我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
3 |2 u, i: J: U# ]' ]5 M如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
2 J7 r( G8 O8 x" h; w( `# C0 O) F6 ?5 T: Z3 I. x- l( v5 _! x! I
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
理袁律师事务所
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表- O8 w) ]3 T, O; v: }
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.3 A  M6 j/ v# `* V! t( F

7 @" a8 [7 n& p7 u* Q( OSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
# y8 }0 |7 w. Y+ P; o, W+ X0 o- }

5 r! B& l& Q/ [( `* zThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
: {6 X+ Z# s2 ^; ^( Y8 Q$ Y
7 @: _9 c' F; T$ x+ F- P2 Q! q7 ^0 a1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".4 }& ^4 b% A. Y% g
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。, I3 C2 A0 {' H9 E- w
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
- Y* c" E2 Y& L' t( A( T7 z. s8 tthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。& ^. K  G% b( u  v  x  C& T/ G
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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8 ~6 g. Q9 e6 u  }# S
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
9 F. y2 {7 w: R' _$ Nthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
2 F& ~% Y& I) v- q
9 C% q# Z! B  |3 B6 Y  w: ~Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

4 k/ p2 Y1 R" a" ^7 ]- [5 b6 }4 P8 g6 [( j9 t2 v
有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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% Z0 X; H/ P$ ^% ]# Y3 S比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》+ V1 O  J7 _/ d6 x
9 M0 }. O! T0 }% c' h
Don't weep at my grave+ I% E4 e* a) n
For I am not there,
0 R2 c' o- M+ s3 w: T9 dI've a date with a butterfly6 _- E& p. h7 ?, |8 ^
To dance on the air.2 M5 O! }) f: T6 ?6 f) F  A
If I'm missed, find a flower,8 {% X: R) H. y& j; Z7 i
I'll be there too,
1 C3 p0 ]: b" iSniffing it's fragrance/ _! C" o, C3 _0 l3 y
Right next to you.& }* X, J' |7 q, o
" J5 ?5 ]3 ~3 s" f) \
Don't be sad3 @+ N' ^& v" c. d4 J3 v
When you remember me,
# a7 ?% g8 e# l7 FFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
9 p( [$ Q$ B6 F( O/ |1 F3 R; o; d' _Wild and free,  @) M- E% m% n. f* O) r: C
Flirting with the lighting,& y( O) ]9 X! S/ F7 L  {) [
Playing tag with the wind,  E' g3 R, {5 H7 G6 N4 x8 t2 {  O* \
Chasing the thunder
- \, ?2 b# y) n( Y# }Time and again,) S9 P; t/ b1 ~; w- O
Soaring with the eagle,0 Z; E+ {+ u7 P' [! T1 O/ C' |4 |; p
Swimming in the sea,4 R, |4 I7 R  \! ^
Enjoying all of nature
1 h, E: G+ g( |* Z% w1 E* _While I'm waiting for thee.
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