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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew: H0 P. |1 e1 Y& R8 i
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
% K. `- u, f4 `; V) Jdecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he- B  x0 O1 ^" k$ n/ s8 M
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
2 C1 z. R2 X/ h  [! Z; C) [if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,) ^: V) G; Z7 s' V1 y: O- F
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
7 ~1 C; l* W( J. eexcept... ahhh... never mind."
) {7 |3 X: J# M. ?" e$ n7 f: F/ M( d9 \6 ?% u
    "Except what?" the man asked.  }2 ?7 R4 o- n5 z& M
    "Nothing, nothing."5 g8 K: w, z9 B: x  }! z; {
    "C'mon, tell me!"8 H& O- B4 b7 B5 y4 m9 s
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
  q- [. j6 n- M) m" ^% G; w    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.& b7 B! S2 p* v
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."
+ X4 |" H# \1 e6 R5 o4 s7 p& N8 e So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
' f/ E1 i  O( r, ~) k$ Jcarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
8 u  {( G2 R& }. p" bordinary-looking black dildo.9 f6 C3 p6 h8 T$ N1 x
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?". c6 L1 E. c( G: P& c6 E% p
% u5 U+ k% F6 p3 l, K: s
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old8 }3 Q9 M8 Y, G" G( o) C
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."* H8 o" {- L) b+ U/ C% I! w
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
! E! i" Q# Y5 Y0 y1 `screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack 6 }2 b% f0 ?/ Y9 C7 ]: a
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,3 ]' u7 _& V: n1 C$ A; ^  m
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to- z3 a8 g; o$ Z! p1 X
the box and lay there, quiet once again.8 R; }* R1 i, T9 P0 C

& ]' K1 c- @7 n' S+ m5 A1 P0 _    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it  [; d2 j, J& d5 S
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took
5 h: m8 e2 G; \6 t0 Rit home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
) m) @8 C  B- v1 y* U1 Yshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip  m1 r4 I6 x: E4 Z; ~9 a7 ]$ ~
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
% P* R) u5 s( H$ A/ R) ^4 ]+ z4 G( e* f* @
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She, o3 Q) z5 ]6 g+ A7 F" {& y
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she7 T" A) i6 s: P8 O2 }6 U+ v1 T
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said," C$ y# |. n" j) \
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was& d( ]9 ?3 [1 n+ M7 Z. I
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
4 v6 Y5 z3 l: C  _: q: p; W' ldecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her
, s+ g+ Z$ t) shusband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
$ ?+ U# |! A! t* C
/ F; T% }+ g0 o: H  w/ N    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
- b0 A% }, s3 Q4 U3 k& k/ Kto get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
0 v; z. }6 l+ k3 }1 j/ hjust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.3 a8 g. u2 R  M

* o# n. ^* M3 {6 h# j0 n% M    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
: g$ J- [' j; y( U. l! K% P) Gto the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming3 h6 b1 f+ W* w2 l
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next  |4 D+ j3 k8 W1 w3 W6 `
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
$ ?2 n# R9 P( k4 s7 E  T, Uflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how! Z0 s7 i' g1 {& g; F: S- @$ a
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
' \9 v1 |9 ^' j4 Y8 A8 Ohadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
  g+ s8 V) @/ J% Z; ?9 }
$ F: m  K* A1 V    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right- b5 `  b: T/ l# u0 |# R' q$ e( T
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
大型搬家
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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