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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew) ]! w, L( u3 o# a# K$ v( x
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he/ {2 M; E/ R+ M0 _+ l
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he7 n5 T8 V8 \) f: h- U3 E/ P
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
) S7 ?) r/ t9 t# ?  fif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,: n0 h( R4 ~5 x: T* U
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks," }4 C5 p% h% F
except... ahhh... never mind."
. v# e4 a) y5 X' f# y5 k
' Q( h: c' }. l: M5 t    "Except what?" the man asked.
5 k4 Q9 M) l8 r/ U5 F2 L& x4 R& x* q    "Nothing, nothing."
3 Z5 i& a# H& b, e, t! Y    "C'mon, tell me!"
8 P$ |3 t2 T9 v4 n5 x    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."$ V. E$ A5 w3 l- k0 l) p
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.! g3 T" u/ n: j+ V! E# ?6 ^
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed.") t& N" V3 U5 J; n+ I8 H* v% C' P
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, ; x8 g. \+ E* ?# k  ~- C* b1 j
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very. J8 N2 U$ K) _9 b
ordinary-looking black dildo.' M" J  B( _! o8 W2 \
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"+ ]/ I, r2 }9 \- C
* }0 }. b' w# o8 ~  A/ `5 J
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old
( U% n( Q! r! Mman pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
9 q! a+ g. \8 m  K* b* P3 l VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
6 }6 i7 }" V: e( Mscrewing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
& R* r- i  v0 P8 @# Ydeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
' h, Z' R) d3 K) j# s"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to8 f6 Z4 v, [7 ^' B
the box and lay there, quiet once again.- u+ s" Z. d+ O7 c; M, d$ h

: U* V4 ~: m; U( r- h    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it. u% w+ L7 J% U- t& Y
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took6 r( q" u6 ^+ h% ?3 i
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
% a5 a/ X$ v6 X4 Q. V* D6 Fshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip2 e3 C2 @3 X; Q; s7 R" Y) x" p
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.. _0 h) \' h# o3 h3 ?

! i; _7 U# l/ e" |9 r" {9 {    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
0 u) ?9 v4 o! x; W' K1 }) G. Q5 ?thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
9 y/ ]. |7 ]1 B5 cremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,  u% n$ ?4 [& t4 q' @3 R
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was/ k9 r: U5 h) m6 M
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
4 v2 _3 z) w+ N: I: ?! hdecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her+ R7 a2 {% K+ Z3 x+ @4 X$ A( j
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
  i. Y4 G5 h- i+ j  j: D) x/ v/ G9 h( r1 Q2 `: s+ e) b; r: C' F( W( {
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried* x( a9 C9 Q9 Y
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick  i" j3 J) A6 n3 ]8 f* o
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.$ f& ^: i7 S+ j* A4 r3 q( e5 a# I
, T4 z0 Z- g" \1 A. ?$ I* l
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive# O# @/ b  j) b+ G0 D% p! _
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming+ B; F. h9 y# d. ^* T
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
( y3 ~: T- T7 l1 s" Wthing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights9 E3 k! |. n$ c/ _& X% i
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
: Z' Y. U( d5 n. V" kmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
# L% i" X' |! B, K4 ?1 ehadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick./ o0 X4 j5 z% J1 M4 I" X

9 b/ x" y$ P. g' a. N    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right. K+ M% L3 A% N2 a  F
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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