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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew# W4 e% d. q* \7 X# ~+ H; _7 t
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he+ N  \7 J/ G. k2 x8 Q' @
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he; ^1 _5 B5 x4 M) C6 Q- |+ [. H
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
* e: {2 U: p/ u. p2 K9 Dif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,
2 f" Q3 F7 p, s$ X' A- z; B1 @I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
. G3 t, {5 g( P6 N9 f% ]except... ahhh... never mind."
; F; i  h( L1 s9 r( z
3 D6 C2 @0 z) F& K8 \% r    "Except what?" the man asked.
4 R' [5 ~5 z5 o2 W. T; L4 I! r. d% h    "Nothing, nothing."1 q/ U% c# @. z& s+ M% ^4 n
    "C'mon, tell me!"
4 N5 G. h/ c, o0 d7 X6 q/ ^    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."4 u4 S- G! v1 R' P
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
( l$ f, e1 i; k5 c! ^6 W    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."  |0 b% v! n, M5 }4 r
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, 1 R4 V2 t; ]/ d$ E, d, k
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very8 G  m, k6 h7 A: \* [1 b
ordinary-looking black dildo.
% I. I+ ~5 X. z6 X    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"+ c  |9 l" s1 s0 n+ `# j. X

8 g$ z0 h4 y' N! ]    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old  G5 u! }0 H( b* W
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."7 \4 ^) R- f$ M
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
& b. e; O  ]" o4 @% V% cscrewing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack 6 S. C' Z3 J! v
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,! m6 L; l3 U; l0 r! i/ F2 V2 b$ }! q
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
5 X* `8 c! |! a$ C* `  t8 k7 E) @the box and lay there, quiet once again.
; d# ~- o: W$ x4 G, U! v; l7 ^: ^0 _) Q
    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
) ^; K# r4 }# h, T* q+ o: [8 `wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took8 A8 ~- h$ U6 c+ s1 F" `; b% U
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all ' ?  _! W" p9 H& C4 m' s) d
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip  x" k( K* q% k. \1 r- _) O  Y
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.# N8 m. e) S( X3 d$ o6 a" R- z3 s2 D

* u; ~" l7 f+ f- E! ~6 P    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
  h2 W+ }/ K: Q1 P' t. @thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she0 p+ `  Q+ K/ k6 I! Z
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,1 N) B5 a4 H/ V5 H' ^& W
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was+ m0 H7 E5 b6 ]! c! D9 `/ G& I4 I
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she ) |  |: V( d2 C0 ]8 A
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her  L- U6 @# J3 S7 ^
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
  Q" b+ R' l! D+ p" {  Z* o8 _, G7 |4 v% `" D! t8 Q
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried, `) I9 v5 {9 m
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
, P+ {( d$ C2 ?4 ^" j7 ~3 h7 F- ljust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.: H: w/ S2 V# {& z

% _# q% Z+ I/ `5 s5 S; E$ [    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
% q- T7 f( i7 J+ @" t# Rto the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming' s7 e4 ~9 \0 ~4 n
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
. }6 G* |1 N! ]thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
7 w+ `1 ~# h  H' B! j* Hflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how: Z. X1 o0 d2 m/ I7 B/ x
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
$ d4 C4 M% K7 a. a+ [$ Dhadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.- o3 h% M4 z  }* [6 J
" n! ]1 ]9 b, D7 ^- \; k5 x
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right, u# c& h7 I2 @
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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