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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew3 i  h) |0 H$ m6 U3 @  _! ~
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
: S; {4 C& Y3 F6 \7 ]/ Jdecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
. A0 j  x& {3 x/ x& J% c8 T, f( [browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
- l* m* h& C9 v* D) R4 `3 R1 wif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,3 R" x( n& w& `( y
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
8 S& t$ h% y& o: \/ r7 H, j) e1 _except... ahhh... never mind."& A5 [" R  D8 q: m; L
% e7 o" @! }0 n# z2 @% |
    "Except what?" the man asked.  \6 h; m, [$ u) e
    "Nothing, nothing."  q* I9 ~8 t3 n
    "C'mon, tell me!"
0 x6 d' {' B  V) S' C) c    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."% F6 p" a1 N9 {% I$ D( e  ^7 C
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.+ j$ g: ^+ J! C' i7 p: z# @" a
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."7 p& K! F# T* k$ [0 }2 u
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, + p+ V' T; I* {2 t2 q: V- N
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
. `0 T4 c, R; x- xordinary-looking black dildo.
2 c/ l! i) O2 F( g9 x# o3 e$ D    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
+ z4 x( |" x# V7 N' q2 H4 N! a5 o5 F% p; N% W4 Z* V
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old+ K7 I% p$ W& q& j9 v7 B' P
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
) Z. W& \9 K* U4 C* y% I) Z( N$ [ VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started5 _+ H- t9 }. w
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack   @: M! e  k, D  W
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,  P% b' p2 g; b/ v: R3 ~
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to$ w8 q" S, ^7 _0 ^6 ~% s" y
the box and lay there, quiet once again.: O4 @4 X2 e$ ]7 i7 D" s' l' w6 f
9 u' @) ?2 X' T0 j
    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it+ H! |2 i. w) i% c# f# S
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took& c" x2 k0 D3 W9 }
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
* f, _4 M2 K7 Fshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip
% v4 [$ f9 W5 c6 E  fsatisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.  w5 q/ g% }% u& y

* ~- I8 q% Q$ M/ X9 T, Q& D- h    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
% H. Q% f8 V9 b% I9 h; L* pthought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
2 m( E  ?5 G2 d% N! j: Aremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
5 T9 \6 k8 e3 M# \7 L"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was# C, G  T! W, f0 A# ?
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
5 I6 q% H# W8 D( `decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her
5 m' Y  j) P2 y4 F2 z6 q2 V: @/ ~/ u& |husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!% [8 C. w+ O2 P2 p9 p# Z0 t
, _. ^) U. n' e
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried$ l) P1 A+ {: X
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
; `$ @1 M3 \; }+ i" Gjust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.4 n& j9 U+ k# {7 O0 Z% _

8 O, H' h% A7 I" x  ?+ u$ O+ F    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive& L' v7 N5 c$ N3 h; T- i- J
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
7 E0 j0 A/ E3 \1 u! Ltraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next  t/ P& q  d  Q& E( D8 a
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights# H. Z9 Q3 d5 Z. i9 O
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
4 m% k7 |- R5 Xmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she$ I& w# t& l; ^0 O. D1 Z* l
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
7 D+ U1 P  X/ Z7 Z+ i2 w8 Z
8 F% E! c5 ^. n" ?9 ?' r    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right2 d) G' O" o, Z6 V! `5 k
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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