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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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* v, b+ B$ q6 B1 N- T7 e6 D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.# c! v( g" t$ M
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
9 C0 s1 `# `9 f$ Y& ?) ^: Bhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday3 a) G4 t; p5 R# @# m
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
# E0 u' a: g6 ?* Q5 z1 ryou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a) n& q( n) w5 c6 F
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ D& u; o. m T$ pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, S Z T& }; B' mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 N9 T; N$ x# _' Ogo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
% y3 a8 S- i; n3 |: |phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 G6 Y7 E! a6 m0 Ucussed out, and possibly shot.+ ]$ Y [) n2 _. R) Y" n
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can$ [7 n/ F) c0 N9 o) S
get you shot.+ w9 g( D4 A: Y8 [
$ g* N! G1 d# ?7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that$ b3 o. U* x! k" e
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
) X' k8 L @3 g4 _* ~4 m0 ]the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot: J- F4 H9 Z3 Z1 x7 _
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first4 o* G4 t+ F( m- s
vehicle through the intersection.; O# v& x, J0 a
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour6 S" K/ G5 x, o9 \: J+ i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) d' [2 q! ^& E" j! K1 nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 ~1 R( {. Y$ E7 o5 V4 ~% H: o( j
more construction starts everyday.$ e: b" i5 v' X; m4 ?0 C2 c
! e# r: R/ x- o. ?( R8 |) J0 B" I9 W9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
- ^2 \9 Z0 G9 s' O8 x& \5 z0 `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 u2 e. p/ x/ h6 A9 q2 Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# K0 s4 \- h! k. s) r4 ^
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ u" V; X% h0 c! q" a) Froad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
, h$ G+ j' {5 DRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and3 Q& ]# J( q# J1 I( P' V
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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2 _$ J" O, u' a3 g0 N11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: F4 B7 b3 s$ x9 x% Ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally& q% `0 V8 T! ] g; e* B+ Q* q! G
Activated.'' X" u+ b6 I! o
+ R) M u( ?2 A; k: M3 Z4 m% o+ u12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 D# P4 }5 d* x9 Yyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off': e/ P0 M# {& s; t; O2 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 y' a1 j$ a$ S- O( d# ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and6 D& _& _3 v5 g
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
