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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
1 S- \9 q' E5 L" B+ w( q6 RTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
' Y- j1 K. s& @* iShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,6 T; R- Q$ N- U `
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.: }) g6 Q5 ^: D' c& K$ t
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed./ e7 p* R+ z0 Y9 ]+ y$ z
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed." x/ W) a! z4 p: M V- O& ~4 P
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
' f& \6 V% t& x7 T% l7 cWith Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story. [, z8 o( A) }; R. m6 x9 Z
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
$ F9 T) o" V1 {% O [* w* fTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.; ]7 d0 q) i% { n
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
8 T- D3 X/ h+ [, [, S; G) vWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
! j* a! X ^- @/ w: o( w Y1 V, L3 zDespite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
6 Y {8 U5 `- g# ^# S5 \. a: ETiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .( P) n1 O" a7 L2 x4 }
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,6 x+ i8 _$ W+ s) r( C( H. {
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."! W( x1 F: i I' n- _2 r- J
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,, I% K3 t: ?7 V, ]' N
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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