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Tiger s Holiday Poem4 E* G& _ k- @* |# e0 A
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house9 ?- x8 L5 D8 r: P( s J- K! u- P
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
- m. g& X1 A% W8 v" W" c9 SShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,1 b0 R; Z2 J8 K9 Q8 ^ j/ R
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
, A: k& N7 g$ }He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
& l' C$ S4 N0 X: `! ~1 I) `Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.6 W$ d* T$ V# z, {- G
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,5 c( L9 q8 W8 k0 }4 q5 C
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
+ c7 A# |1 C- Q/ [From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
8 y; p$ w% m' [- O# J- d* LTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.4 B, v1 @% A! W) a0 _* b9 q; g
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
& x& y5 n# y9 s' @1 h, XWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts., Z: L' X0 }' b8 w+ Q& s
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
, Y. B$ m; U3 e4 v+ ~Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .$ l# c6 w% I& V$ }/ B8 F
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
; h+ k4 h' l8 ?- o# G6 S"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."+ c! J$ O) f G6 S5 J7 {
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
' M' S; u! }! v" ]5 ?Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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