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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( B2 E9 G& K! \' a9 i. j3 Lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 d$ P* |6 }- S* j7 zthe other possibility.
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" Z0 @; W$ t" j3 B _/ [$ A6 nAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" _- ?& N% g5 [7 B8 j
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# u6 Y: B2 O6 @5 |. |: e0 H: m1 Q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# a m$ k3 c0 L
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 z3 N) U0 w% y$ Sthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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! c C- ?9 y9 ^0 H# m8 zThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* }5 h- R8 Z2 c! v* x
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.2 }- V9 q: k# x [5 O
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" l& ^9 b3 x7 d
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
+ q( |, [, \: J: b, mfotograf 20% shorter.3 A, F% J2 m3 S/ {; d! `4 N, h
( S5 q+ [% Q' N/ ZIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: ^5 E" n X- ~/ b- x* P- h1 B5 u: Y0 Creach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( F9 {/ G1 ?1 l5 ]4 E$ O# N
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
; h, M$ D- n: i& Q ?ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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$ i8 `$ z" O1 x3 }1 _, m7 r. sAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
, c) e+ D7 k, O, @0 zdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with+ o! n& k& I3 q- ?( o. I
"z" and "w" with "v".
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* F s+ R: K2 X4 S/ [( WDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- ` U2 H/ j2 r7 i [after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.6 C7 L+ [, e$ N4 X/ c" \
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- k& C# k+ V; K! tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 T, W& v' p% X
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 _) \0 F- t( j( o) r6 x
forst plas.
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* j/ h2 Y, {1 \/ Y; @If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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