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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 q* F q4 s d/ p- M$ g& zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; _1 f% P0 C. N- v
the other possibility.2 k5 V. J0 W/ G* Z% k
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 t8 n; }! [6 v
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 `( j Z$ A5 s U. G0 ?
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- u+ ~8 `6 E5 k) X& O5 e6 T# C
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
$ a7 c; P# y2 Xthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 |7 H, A$ Q1 m) k4 Wkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
' x0 E. m# S/ Q5 b+ g; w D! x3 b2 G8 v3 h
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, u& F# u/ K3 L! atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' l/ I3 [$ f6 V8 h( i, p9 _1 b
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ K$ D' A2 E4 D: e1 b% }8 Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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% f L6 }$ ~! x0 FGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% Q- P# D/ e4 k# S. j. N' Lben a deterent to akurate speling.5 W( Z3 f6 O! a) I3 ~
: u; K4 y2 [1 D* xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ N) o1 E' @. Ndisgrasful and it should go away., g& c2 X3 |+ |4 l3 ~
4 `' Q' U) k- H) ]# G* hBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* c% V3 n; N+ c; m9 o! \) `: q
"z" and "w" with "v".: G- f9 l; t9 [$ w4 H
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! }1 S5 y1 d' a6 L" X3 A. gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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! z1 U2 j* Y3 m! w0 }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 @$ P9 k* e! ^0 E: }
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 ?7 Q6 n" k8 q* H5 HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
8 c$ ^- x6 X3 `' h \2 Qforst plas., i/ L) X, U; t: G0 [
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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