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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" C4 o0 G% n5 W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ c2 d" N |! v$ Y
the other possibility.
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* s! i/ e, R7 P0 x! cAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" m& e9 t. | z2 n3 g b7 Q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# X. {, e- a7 D; z/ _
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ w" n; e! ~& j- y7 N& i7 e
/ k) s" T1 ` Y0 I. jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 b9 @* c6 t g5 u, ~$ ^6 `! \the sivil servants jump with joy.4 N& ?5 h9 c1 j" G
6 X( v2 x% e1 p; F* a( QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 K& E y z: l7 p# A- E6 vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. o8 s0 }6 m# J* b) U b# R' i. P
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7 @) p: H$ i; PThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the o) |* l1 X' r( o$ j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
" Z. f, F- [8 X8 X6 s. ?9 T2 dfotograf 20% shorter.
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* A" p% x7 f @5 v. o* S& W' FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ I+ }! P% w0 h- M$ ~
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& R8 z; J! r: ]3 F8 I+ z- E5 y
- h4 k4 D9 `4 x) u- c1 {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 u# H) J! y$ d) S0 q: w
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 ^0 b# L7 w3 |+ H& J/ e, @$ U& `/ ?8 mdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% \& ?+ D% y5 R"z" and "w" with "v".+ y( j+ h$ A9 t5 g$ x
* W3 M% A1 F1 { Y4 mDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
+ [8 B( p# n a& e) I7 @after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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( |, a8 f% f% U4 M! tZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 {: j! N" S# X/ Aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ M% B \4 `0 Y& ZUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
2 q# I- j" E' I9 x0 rforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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