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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 N7 M, \, Y* O+ Y1 ~* ~be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 ~4 u, T5 D" T+ j! B P1 s' Mthe other possibility.6 I+ Q$ V4 U E9 n
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# `7 i6 b3 H7 o2 [% qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 ] m1 j3 [& _! h
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ ?: V$ M, v5 |$ T: gthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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' G: f9 x, w& E6 s" QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 C e# `, ^ p, okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 e5 B* I' t/ l) ^" h
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 Q; p, S$ T; u( s; W# @0 Z" `
fotograf 20% shorter.& `7 n1 ?& j8 v- G
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 ` H+ l+ r" x& R7 r% Greach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 x* i4 c. T6 f$ \; c+ E" h# d7 t2 dben a deterent to akurate speling.
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* m9 f( X* u9 V! g# k* F0 sAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 j( U' m) r3 T: J2 [% V- d* ^6 idisgrasful and it should go away." z5 `+ O4 n! G8 j8 s; M6 R
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 x* o5 E! {( z7 m
"z" and "w" with "v".
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! ]+ ^; z) q3 e& nDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 g, y& P2 {: r* E( r2 t& ~
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl./ X9 t7 @% U. C7 L* G
2 R c. z2 V5 yZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# _( H% m/ h+ z7 `9 I1 n' L
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 `. m3 l! p4 w( `7 ^$ K! yUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 U2 y! Q9 L! M" d' N3 y
forst plas.: I7 M. O/ R3 d
2 g# ?5 {4 x. i, N" E- f8 J* cIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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