 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.0 z" ?: K: Q2 r5 L6 O. q8 v/ \8 d+ l
/ }3 N; f. ~% R
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
: f9 K1 R; l+ r; I" O& v
1 \' W# H# z: c+ m! `: {+ rI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 X: J! l) j/ ^3 o4 m6 g+ x
4 y' x+ N) H1 c- x; r
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
2 ?5 P: O; O1 _9 |0 Q
. f8 w# Y' J- f, _8 n"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
$ ~, C D" M" o. a" D3 ?1 q
& Z9 Z7 z3 j w) QI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 \' R) \0 R, y7 i/ t. m( i
7 |/ v0 l$ @. A4 J. a) m; Z1 G2 @! [+ m
And the second one was:
) Z; X3 T6 ~, n1 d4 c- P: w
4 j$ r. a* `" B6 V6 u! N"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
( ]8 V; C) W0 h( [# t/ Y* C4 c- e
7 v" J8 {5 L& Y" _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; r/ t. j" I! ?) B* ]$ h" {: A
2 F8 g, N4 d: ^, [4 p$ F
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
8 i G: j9 W# x4 W
* l: `. G$ E9 ?+ ?! Z, [4 Q% X( QI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
0 Z+ X6 ]6 ^# R* z: | X
+ n" i3 |# P( Z; l, ?$ D @+ Z1 qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
2 j3 m3 Q. `: p" M/ B0 [+ ]& N5 T: c/ p5 O4 J: Y
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
6 C) I. U/ m: l+ A" v6 k5 A
, J" V: O; P/ M* hSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
" I. G8 \4 P' E8 M
$ S R7 f+ H) ENow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
: _! g0 E7 Z: P. g# C: U
9 M r$ u T% ~( M$ J" q4 c# P9 Y! MThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
% {. d4 b. I# V8 J0 H$ Q. A$ O
- {( h( b6 E3 x; c' E( ^Thank you very much!
- u6 w7 I4 A* L
l @* }; V/ t' ]; }==========================4 p/ M2 Q3 i7 S" E# T/ s, {: b
5 F' ]. p9 X1 |/ G; `Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; H c7 h9 u# m$ E* d& K# x
/ P) d& ?, `% a" Q5 b
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.* g. G* a& o: F; r! ^6 b
2 Y+ B+ m* D6 i1 i# x3 y) {2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 a$ t! |, N, u* C# [" W! B
, ^/ _6 g: Y% K1 p }* [
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 `: c1 w+ U. ^7 u3 w
/ I8 H0 w7 P7 D u5 o3 M4 `, g$ s
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
& C H- F# ?9 {/ L" s" L
# i( |+ V6 `" ^/ TRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.1 [6 x$ J' r) Q
6 o4 M4 u: S0 `8 L: W/ L4 ]7 h: R
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
