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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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% \! @. c( O+ u0 eI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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3 Q0 I' G' ?) l5 kI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" r. n) T* x0 `7 G
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 [3 z+ U: t; Z  B
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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8 z+ h9 L4 Y4 d0 f"What's the 2nd Amendment?"& G- t& n! ?7 l) k& G, ^' u/ z/ ~

; v  I; R  t* U5 uI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ U" r6 a& K# C" q8 X

0 i' J5 G5 E3 ^" H"What is Roe vs. Wade?"* s- W5 m5 j0 T9 M/ |2 G8 }: c4 ~

1 y) z. U0 {2 A, r: A. zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" y& G! ?8 @, r) N

* x3 u  ?& }6 y( ~/ F9 X% AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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, @( {( n7 G' h3 U5 lSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 i( I; i. k$ n1 N# L: u8 f9 |

9 [, l2 m' `  P; O7 z/ K" y% e, O8 `This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' q. ^% c0 `" ^
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Thank you very much!* y; A# @6 ^* D9 M* @) n6 L/ S

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- A+ I$ `, d- j1 }1 rImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- c2 A7 B" m3 `  T+ n7 }
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 P% v! s8 \6 L# q

& y7 F) Z- z) @& o. W! m2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' b2 Z+ u$ C) @, Z9 q  ]
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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- u2 D/ R9 W& _7 W0 I& HRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
0 ?0 N' [; U/ A# ^a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
大型搬家
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
; D" j% Y8 ^' f& A) o/ K怎么理解?
6 i+ A0 ?0 o7 p; r& f50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。$ V( n% I4 r, k, ~
怎么理解?
, A/ p: B$ ~! H: O4 P* t50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?9 s2 H) k. Y1 o0 G
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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