 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
/ j N/ }3 R" [% N% |7 |5 ^
0 f* H* o6 `6 S$ i X% z+ t2 L5 CI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
. M' [1 H+ S- n7 L! r- [: K: Y/ P3 L. ]8 v8 ]1 ^. m. Z, J
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
# L% W$ w5 I: k7 U$ V& ]+ z7 K1 t/ i4 ?$ L! [% C# F: L! p! O
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:5 K$ y e$ A0 ^+ @
4 [+ j" v; e/ }2 V7 O% _2 `"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
3 @! ~ @1 d8 z, e Q1 O$ Z w* ?3 N" C% D9 \! c
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' Z; h3 o7 t) T. t% W/ e, v5 u
& ]) T! b% H& K& j c1 MAnd the second one was:
6 d4 c7 j2 [: U6 F3 p: A! D, z+ s& q! c5 S! f
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
) i M6 m5 D$ ^$ I% [+ g# X
4 D# B7 C" j: ^" b+ qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( I$ S5 f: |) U8 B
! Z* I2 M5 e/ s6 t/ u% ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?"' I' V8 X. r' Y
% g4 \4 D% d+ z, o9 T2 AI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ O3 f* W5 O: d- a; j' q( B
: z6 Q8 W+ A' j7 d7 i4 s
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
8 L: B. B7 Z# ^4 K+ C4 ~+ ]) A% [* [: K e" @' D% `
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
* s# V: }) Z8 l. X; |
6 F2 x" t$ A& r$ wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
a7 t: b1 o4 \& k( Y H" t; }+ l3 S6 Q4 v3 J4 O C9 j7 z, L- i G
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
% E6 t% L" c' w: S5 J# P. S
" q( T8 R6 Z0 |. _3 k) @This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.* K1 j4 {2 E$ h3 K
3 Z& N, a: a0 n6 d E# `
Thank you very much!
" R9 r9 c! ?, q2 u
2 q9 v/ N* q+ T( F. u' m+ ~8 g==========================, L0 c; R8 j) p: v7 m+ V
; A) _; } w0 r5 G; W: s. _
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
0 f& ]5 U* X! C' N* s P8 r. e4 C- z# ?3 w) _1 K: U. p9 H
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
; N$ j. e; C3 l9 {9 {( t) r
6 |5 ]! ]' S8 p0 l, ?# O2 y2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 J, Z3 R) a/ v
3 X0 Q e) ~) h3 H% B8 C$ E% @
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( w; p" b$ e* V, S; Q# w" Y
" Y. W1 F7 z, [7 b0 N gJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".) P$ u7 ^. I: h
- R! T, n3 O0 }. u: i
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 }- y- _3 ^: @; P7 ?0 ~/ K9 v
\ ~8 M- b% F# |
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
