 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
* K. {! X \. |1 a" J. O
% \! @. c( O+ u0 eI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
4 R! o; }8 J1 A8 l. \( W5 P, y6 |4 Q& B1 B3 x- R2 O
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
' P2 G- s) t% E2 [$ E
3 Q0 I' G' ?) l5 kI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" r. n) T* x0 `7 G
$ q) i6 L+ Q, \) w) W
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 [3 z+ U: t; Z B
1 V4 L" g [) F
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ X) n5 D% D* G+ z" f+ L! Z" m& F4 \+ y( `0 r
And the second one was:
4 a8 w8 @9 S; l P
8 z+ h9 L4 Y4 d0 f"What's the 2nd Amendment?"& G- t& n! ?7 l) k& G, ^' u/ z/ ~
; v I; R t* U5 uI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ U" r6 a& K# C" q8 X
0 i' J5 G5 E3 ^" H"What is Roe vs. Wade?"* s- W5 m5 j0 T9 M/ |2 G8 }: c4 ~
1 y) z. U0 {2 A, r: A. zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
$ |# X3 A% [- n: n9 J7 D5 P. a( t' h8 {3 i- j
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" y& G! ?8 @, r) N
* x3 u ?& }6 y( ~/ F9 X% AI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
" X4 L* y k7 W( ?& J
, @( {( n7 G' h3 U5 lSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
- D! d7 M3 N+ d: u! W, ~" A, @( I3 o! {+ z
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 i( I; i. k$ n1 N# L: u8 f9 |
9 [, l2 m' ` P; O7 z/ K" y% e, O8 `This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' q. ^% c0 `" ^
$ R9 |9 `! G0 r: P9 J: t
Thank you very much!* y; A# @6 ^* D9 M* @) n6 L/ S
: J4 ]) X7 P8 E& u6 ^==========================, h2 o5 B" E ] p; h
- A+ I$ `, d- j1 }1 rImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- c2 A7 B" m3 ` T+ n7 }
& a4 I" e4 I7 u/ p( S4 v3 _
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 P% v! s8 \6 L# q
& y7 F) Z- z) @& o. W! m2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' b2 Z+ u$ C) @, Z9 q ]
2 f( b: o1 w( y) k0 W1 e
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
V- [' w M8 [7 G" n6 }+ j) J5 t# n/ B0 R8 y- x( O
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
9 [. I- c* v* w- i
- u2 D/ R9 W& _7 W0 I& HRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
! `4 i* |$ s6 U J$ @% f' I- _" {2 s7 h6 k
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|