 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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6 ^$ I5 a3 N8 W, vI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ _. S1 X1 f# f5 x8 q$ g% v/ F0 K
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; `6 V2 ]) }# V) g2 N0 \
; `* y1 ~. r6 v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"6 ]; a; y. R: f" ^$ y
/ E: G# n) N& c qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:. z$ U/ _- v% C( K1 F2 S
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?" C+ j* E# P+ i# b, w, v9 f
1 H$ z& ?# }$ c' h9 E: D. `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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e! U. r z# k$ A"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% E; C+ Q2 W5 U/ [( N) B
7 ~+ I+ u* n& R8 \1 zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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, e& F2 z) Q* O% q1 |# T9 J g5 d- vI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* R: |; @5 H7 g- l: j
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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, h6 \+ {1 _ ~6 i4 pNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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- R0 l; m4 @* k$ ^Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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! J: L) j2 J% @- o9 q1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( Z R7 z9 d: D- M
2 J& o0 }, C3 k* s2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! U; t( v1 o8 O u# _( E* O% p
, e6 ]6 D$ E1 {' X$ | V* `' m"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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6 J8 m, L4 l6 C1 C' m j: pJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& f; R; [0 M3 p/ H( w+ T* q, C) @. G
2 k5 e" H$ [, _% y1 s& q5 b: bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.$ B: T, E4 R/ W' Q5 A
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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