 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.! D* ]% }% p3 O0 A/ v, j1 F
3 M9 H/ A* g: { Q4 l$ N" Q0 fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." w! h$ Q6 V# e5 I
- W4 P, [2 {6 F% U2 v) `I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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. C8 K0 s/ D/ X. j. D1 J$ \% F"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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% r8 \; k+ G9 `& \ ?0 x3 e: bAnd the second one was:
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7 ]; l# ]& e. F7 F: w"What's the 2nd Amendment?". H; v9 n# k* o& `& n# ~2 f/ g
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( N( q+ |0 J: i"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" N9 ^5 W( Q [8 ~4 J( Y
" ~5 m @6 @4 D: y. u/ S' gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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9 @6 Z$ I }* L( x# h! oI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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\3 o7 r# v6 O+ W' v% l' @* N- ^2 vI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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2 n* `( A3 w$ z& SSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"7 o, q- }" i% Z: M' m3 Z8 A) @2 m0 e
+ m5 ]) Z' y$ L, ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) \* b4 {9 g. |) A1 C
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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, E- O9 ]8 P ^* QThank you very much!. V+ \" @; S$ X" `% B
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6 A/ r8 E8 R4 zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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+ ~0 V$ u2 {* {% g4 ]9 v1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 F3 ?) O1 K- P. c9 k4 J- @; f2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.3 V: W: y. j, x$ N0 P
8 e7 [- z( }$ `. O"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. _, t9 Y7 [0 w5 Q. b r
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* F7 D4 `+ E- w# P/ s
1 T* Q! Y$ V& y/ ?* v# w; t7 f% v, vThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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