黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
* N" u; [8 E- w4 g
1 b8 C' Q. Z9 I) K8 lI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
, U$ \' v& L9 Y9 F. e6 G! R. z
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
: {" O( F( T' o# X6 I
* R- d/ p) s  l5 a# zI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
; Y. |* {* q/ K2 V
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

5 B+ y' i. ^6 ^2 l# @And the second one was:
5 z  f7 Y. C2 J, O& w
$ H: R  J: K2 q" R- {4 P9 n$ N"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
" ~7 O6 {, d, x1 w
, \8 P2 W" |6 m4 l5 v% K( jI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
" y: B' b, d$ i$ _3 ?! U
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
! F* c. R5 c" L+ x
9 b/ H# e8 Z1 L  W" {I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
! `0 ]& \/ B) f7 p$ A
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

/ {7 u* ?) p- V  Q, YSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

! \* b0 `  p0 S! G. k* N3 GNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
. O$ D% \5 y; i3 E: r
) T  V* H3 x. X* c! vThank you very much!

==========================
9 f# H; f  M  t1 @
3 p0 Q. v/ z/ `$ i$ U- z& lImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

( j, f" f& B) {- ]1 B9 _; k4 n% f7 @1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
- a, N) h6 f3 X- Q$ A
0 ]* ~5 \4 K4 p/ w$ I, G"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
3 O4 s6 {8 e$ _* u  T+ s
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
* D$ ]: E5 ]) Z# c# D) q$ t& }
; Z( u7 s, f- l" U9 dRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
/ |* o5 b" n8 W2 ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
3 v3 I; r7 ~* m0 d3 L  x/ N2 o50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
+ ]$ b8 d8 ~1 `9 ]1 ~怎么理解？
& t$ J) _; w  E9 L/ X" C- t. P/ m( n( z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

6 @' ~7 M+ H4 I9 K6 P
我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.