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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. R2 w0 Y, C2 K( s8 ]' _6 M$ j9 g
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.* i0 P! K( J7 O. S; X0 i8 ^, t
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:3 p) e! I1 c  o" c$ w

- l$ Z; s6 h. p8 q: C1 V2 h"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"* s0 l, J3 x7 C5 T
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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% t7 P2 F0 p  Y1 WAnd the second one was:7 M. a$ |; |. X2 V1 ]& q' {8 g
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"" z, A# P) p6 G9 S' h
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- t$ r) t$ o; c9 Z" i* a* \. o
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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' I, s; N0 l  ~! N: x5 }I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 x1 r# @# Q6 W/ e3 TI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, i4 r9 H# ]$ Y* n+ S& }# u' T
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") l4 f+ i% I. v
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 N9 M5 G, U& W# y. k" I
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.- W1 s/ Z9 \& E' A& `* \6 S) z

" O: E0 G: U/ ~8 r6 E. s" VThank you very much!
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7 Y+ y  S1 p6 F4 Y, zImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:- ]  T$ m- d) C& T7 ^% b8 o& I9 F3 z
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.: [) a0 k8 u  `/ ?4 e% l3 V) Z1 X2 A
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms." U4 ^, i0 l9 i# @2 a
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
% T: L. ]0 L, @* w' m8 za young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
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鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。0 T3 a9 y- t& Q6 l0 T
怎么理解?$ e/ C% r8 Z/ g; d- W! D* |
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
6# cyz0116 $ E  `0 C$ m7 v( c

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。) w( V0 D7 s' G0 g1 N
怎么理解?
+ s- J  m  [- M; g50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?0 M2 X9 Z9 l( l- j
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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2 B: T# B" }* |' U$ @我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳 # ^6 ^8 D& N$ _8 c

' y+ V7 Y/ p, |9 l1 F. e$ @我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
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鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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