 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ u& S, b5 A3 u0 b( `: ?1 H% ?; [8 Z
' u: q- k3 S. P% F' f8 H4 ~5 ?I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# n! A( E/ S, t
9 C# [; m0 W& k8 s
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
% e3 g/ c" Q! E" |' }
' ^2 k m( l$ |1 y; ?+ ?" n9 j2 ^# aI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
G: I7 P* C$ R9 U; C1 l l1 G- z4 K
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
2 W8 o( v- [" P; k( o# [9 j( |9 _! s& Q* B6 b
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
# y" k0 E! N6 b) D( L, i8 N$ S0 D- a$ [9 z0 O, T" C
And the second one was:: n- z7 b X+ F# t! a1 y7 p% ^
' O3 N: [. R# B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"2 f$ g0 P4 l( r i8 z6 n1 C- O' z
3 l5 Z1 O1 ^0 l$ S7 gI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 U% e" I/ n0 K
4 \4 f& }- G3 J4 `
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
6 f; H% |" ~' F p* t+ |+ J
9 u+ z3 e4 v1 n( l, ]( d9 G RI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
0 D, V# Y( c% G9 c P. T, R s) M7 i
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% g5 b& C- D& g" ^- p* m
- y9 Q/ W+ H) iI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". i, E. r6 x" \ a9 o
3 }* J: T4 G. j
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": s( A* r+ K- Y2 V# p+ X
3 ~' R, k) V8 ^% t e& y7 j
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
5 ?; m* z3 M- c$ H9 }$ k7 Z
* [' n( G, \# p* IThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
: [( R0 c/ G! k; |) o( [7 }+ _( \& t9 [# I
Thank you very much!
4 c1 n% K% w. k% w' k7 w# i* D6 G d1 M/ X: E2 M
==========================
% C; h4 i- r h( v, N/ q- h( T% B3 T' j% a) O, l
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
4 ~, g8 i& @* X0 E, e( Z
7 a& y& I9 h) f5 b8 i& o1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
2 x& t$ K& ?8 ~+ A. ^- b5 w( s
/ t4 Z3 J9 _& x0 f8 r6 S* v2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
" N: G: } u3 B f
% n g: J! ^( i"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ W: e3 V6 ]9 L4 Q' @* F) C7 H0 v
( `, c; A0 _$ Y" j" V: _
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: M* ]( |3 A8 H' y- ]1 v
# @3 B6 g: m; l6 {5 y4 d* i6 q
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
) u- j7 m* M) M* {
, C7 _/ @9 e0 C# `- F7 t1 q7 B! _) ^The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
