 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.3 g6 } F* b' m8 n7 y: _1 ~4 @
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 X3 z* x0 w+ Z2 p1 _- ?9 u
( c' g' }# |* _( T& b3 l! {I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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* i8 ^+ k' |; {9 E5 wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 e9 I! X R0 @6 C# M: i/ E9 c7 W, cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?". b% N1 W( _' C$ j+ q. c2 c
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 S. C! @3 K; f3 G+ qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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- J0 R+ i" ]6 g/ g ~/ uI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."% F# P1 G& O& Y. P" P
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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/ k/ l, O% q+ i8 _( B) ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”% r$ u9 h5 V& c9 @
% J. |$ a9 o( u* hThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 y/ ]4 R7 b" c- {1 {+ s( a4 e6 Q
4 J' k6 G+ V* ~- `2 |3 q. h* m$ w" p1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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4 \" i0 B D8 `5 c0 A( {1 [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 Q0 l* l& e( a) Q
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 f& @' \8 i9 R& J6 R, @
$ u3 E T* e9 e4 b! E/ ]6 V+ gThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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