Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 M2 \4 a- V5 T4 C* w0 ~2 E% gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ |: y' l: O; WDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: A3 [. ~, Q$ }/ qand organizational skills and be willing to work
) l0 Y7 c, O$ F: n/ hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" ]1 G4 K* c0 F+ i* k$ |and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ a( F( R+ l) eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 U! v  }' q/ ?, ~0 t6 {Extensive courier duties also required.

( Z: e" Y2 t" e3 M6 x. ARESPONSIBILITIES:
. K1 u0 I( y% m) w% f# n2 ]The rest of your life.
2 n# Y3 T; X+ O. l, _: f$ ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* v1 {( S. a( L0 uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( D5 _# Y: }# n4 W& VAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 U% l$ k' ]; [; m6 P, o, Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: h: I% O7 ~: `$ O5 Z5 Qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 V7 Z2 V: \  D' y5 s7 y; k; K* N6 cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ F2 c0 c6 x3 o# J6 ~3 O/ @2 a! @an embarrassment the next.
) l2 S) Y' }, N2 @( m3 yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, s8 c. ?: p6 mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' v) y0 k1 o" }0 C5 X9 tMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

; ~# b# K  I8 Y4 xPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 B' Q5 i# A( H( m, W( U! [  k. kNone.
' _: y3 u  w' Z( _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 l7 x8 |# r3 e9 E& r2 swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
: }7 ]$ t* x& f2 U  ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; |/ A4 K3 {! c& mcan ultimately surpass you.

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1 Y6 A1 [3 l% R: vPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- y" X1 m  Y: m, RNone required, unfortunately.
, V% _0 [# ~6 A# rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

5 k3 j# V7 ]7 HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 O6 s! {3 D; u  d/ I0 H- tGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) |& r* z! Z* }5 ]  G7 b. y, i& kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
8 t) E% O7 e: o$ S: s! m4 e0 dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# h, E$ b3 r7 {" f8 I9 HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, Y# N7 a+ U( u( S" myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- w( j. i2 n1 ~1 g& A6 R7 c6 Q! vBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ B' [: E. W) _. B8 ~. g) I# tno stock options are offered,
: V+ R2 a% h) D2 k3 A7 }this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) ]) V/ p; J! c1 l7 E+ Q0 lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 C: b0 b5 o( L6 Y( k1 Q- rfor life if you play your cards right.
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' H* u/ B: G/ y+ ]5 Q4 L% U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ ~: X$ O  e0 _$ p3 I) ]1 P
9 }; H2 {4 a# o+ u, bForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 j; j0 B1 g. I" v8 bletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ _3 I% L% m% o$ g0 v- }5 Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.