 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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8 M7 i' I- G6 K( M( X8 F5 _. iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) P" V8 J9 ^8 O$ ^* `* k9 ODad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ p8 L# \) e! ^$ K" ]' E. k1 |JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 H( @( s$ r QLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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: ]' s. Y2 N: C, J8 P4 Epermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 9 q {! V, Z3 j2 E, {: ?( H
Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 E1 _ u. w) [and organizational skills and be willing to work $ l0 a; ~8 s" S2 {5 K* W
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends w$ o5 g3 E& z h2 J% p. n# L" V
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 5 z6 }( B: E2 }4 M. I% H' K) e! g
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 t4 G3 V! V ~/ F9 lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ' n5 k: Q4 z+ b5 B2 y& ^3 h& Q
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 p: `6 m8 I7 } e, X. E7 g9 G5 sTravel expenses not reimbursed.
i5 Q0 B. ^9 u7 vExtensive courier duties also required. & q; i' \, k; F9 K K
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RESPONSIBILITIES:% H: s7 X' P& k
The rest of your life.
0 _$ {8 w6 q0 c( UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, : g+ V$ l! r+ r, p( o) x [
until someone needs $5. 2 w8 ^: e% [ Y1 c- z. x' e
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% J2 _1 b# x% V6 ~, W, vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& L1 J0 _. z7 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) R& H- w/ N# D& ~0 D! B- bin case, this time, the screams from / V j9 q/ B" v9 m3 e4 d; X+ d/ e
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. " l+ Z, l0 ~% b# S- l1 h) N; H
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 c$ `. q3 R# z& {2 q* [* Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 S0 t) x3 ]- P- g
and stuck zippers. 4 I* c6 ~0 [6 p8 n
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and . r/ {0 t- @8 r( R$ Y
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' U, n2 s. U L" ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 h" ~) `7 l+ d, K. w3 wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( D a1 B D! |$ E! b3 [
an embarrassment the next. / Q* P6 k5 B! i6 {, u6 c' V8 ^
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ V" t6 h' Z- K9 g0 ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. : M t4 I' d1 m6 C' \
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* F2 D* L a7 Z; o" |( U. PMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ o0 @3 D8 N9 b+ b& ^0 N) @( zthe quality of the end product. , ^( c- `3 E$ _" ] E5 _
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 8 [# \6 ?: @) r0 V2 ?4 Q+ Y) U
janitorial work throughout the facility. 6 I+ M/ O1 ]. E, E
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" B! F0 g. j: rNone. 6 Y+ C- I* R y% K' H/ v5 C# o
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 N& F, [: [; m" u% w: t( awithout complaining,constantly retraining and 8 ]/ Z% S/ Y* X5 f1 |
updating your skills, so that those in your charge . p4 A- z; S1 z! p T& a
can ultimately surpass you.1 v' X5 q7 U: B1 B L
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" D- x9 l& a& q1 W. N: wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: # e* H- k; a; a) _+ U6 {
None required, unfortunately.
8 [3 ~% A8 `' |$ {% ]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ! T/ ?# h* S A) g7 Z# E& I
Get this! You pay them! 3 B7 W3 q0 Z0 N+ L
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 8 G: i: u# X9 y
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 7 f+ l* r) W$ N0 r e! m& `
of the assumption that college will help them
( s! b$ r* F& d* Ubecome financially independent.
: ?& ` G+ s, x+ f- GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 2 T4 ?/ E$ ~/ y* R
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that # \& q% L6 S1 H v& ]
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. b# i6 b- {9 K0 b( O
$ o7 U9 ?' o3 u4 v" I: F( c( @BENEFITS: 1 ^3 x. b5 `9 o" z
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 c1 E' F# _- |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 3 r# t6 A \5 N+ X
no stock options are offered,( _! N i& y [# Q+ V7 V
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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, W9 V* i/ q1 v- {/ S' e) g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 n3 Q( t/ e& T% m/ Q s; xletting them know they are appreciated
# i1 R0 @: f* k- y) l6 ?& R# Ffor the fabulous job they do... `0 C$ z: H7 @+ i+ z
or forward with love
4 w' ?+ L# J) u$ l- pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.* R, u& N9 P$ t K, X4 N! u6 {
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
