Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' i5 Q% v& c6 v, G# V. \* MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 L( C1 \9 m: F2 @; k+ y* E2 GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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  F, W) A0 n" c% Y% Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: f7 l0 m4 I, v- T: h+ nCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' K9 F! s2 w& _, e4 H9 D" n1 o, o2 S3 Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 r8 T; N7 V- Z8 x2 oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& M' l% o+ ^+ ~5 P! Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 D' m0 `0 K$ E3 B* D6 e; Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ _: J, H2 v4 P3 g  e* l- aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
" s, H$ Q9 ]+ V' {' y3 {  fExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 |1 t  C) |) }' eThe rest of your life.
; B6 A! ^# L4 hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; ]5 F# Y1 \7 `until someone needs $5.
+ Y6 P, G6 [% u( JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; D0 Y6 j. a3 \$ A! [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. y4 @8 G6 n' G6 i& qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 \* |8 n" w8 ^3 a$ D/ ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" d+ o+ |" R# m8 z, }' ]% N) K% Cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 h6 }) Y3 s. ?  LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 d  x: h  |) W9 L- }an embarrassment the next.
7 ~; Y0 u  I& B3 \8 jMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* `" U) F6 \) u: ?) X3 p* N, iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: _" m9 b# }! a1 X. O' jMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
' o: {' j2 H( ?6 z" F: A6 JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

) s8 R  ~4 {# @7 h1 PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 ?- A% ~0 |) p: iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 }7 |- F) T( Z$ C: j4 ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  G8 H% G$ y$ L) iNone required, unfortunately.
, f+ ?9 G: Q4 v! [2 t0 y8 Z6 uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 T4 i& H0 W, u% H8 Q, T3 hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! P9 [* m5 B8 U) A3 lGet this! You pay them!
' M1 |/ C- ~- [! N3 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
9 B% D5 _7 Q  r) l. \of the assumption that college will help them
! R; `8 D) N3 J' Hbecome financially independent.
# Z$ |8 @' E% I. L8 Y/ t$ U/ XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 v) F  ?, p! sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 Q9 F: n6 `% C, o% Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: m0 l1 Q5 P% a. U: K( hBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 u! ~( C( Q9 Q1 [" {8 a' P% Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ _# o% B6 q) `( I0 @$ r: ^/ Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ n; I5 _8 d" ]$ Z8 W0 R
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 X  P/ N9 q* D, ~, [. c) OForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) @3 m9 E. m8 kletting them know they are appreciated
$ M1 Z, K, r( d& G% i. T( kfor the fabulous job they do...
7 f2 ~1 I$ J% O/ G/ nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.