Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  Y, B2 f0 U  A0 K; t+ SMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 r1 z0 a7 E  t0 dDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

3 b5 J# g7 |7 `$ J% Y/ N  C. l
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
1 j& `) S* Q( [" t4 f! H! w
! Z4 \5 ~5 M* j8 A7 K3 G* \$ Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ Z' Y  {7 A, ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 p1 ~# G& H% Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 [" o8 q: P' l; n0 |6 ?' wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- Z- ~* p4 E+ ~9 P( X1 F. rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 O" {# ?8 m- B$ f( [8 ^primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" N0 a1 V9 v! @$ ^" aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( P  m8 b, X  H( w6 _$ u8 b( BExtensive courier duties also required.

1 p7 B: W: h$ q& ^5 U- }4 TRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 `* T2 o. H, U9 `until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* J" ]2 m1 ]$ _1 {0 |  b# o6 D( zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( n7 o4 N7 q4 g: }  X/ ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ H$ ]: X  g, u# |; fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- I* F3 s4 O1 M/ A5 vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ g* c9 a: @8 WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, ~) V0 c. |& Q8 |/ \) Z! ^an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 H" z9 \* N; ]- {! M3 v2 kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 h! z9 {3 v4 h4 d1 y- }! c/ Tthe quality of the end product.
& @  a6 b: f, t+ [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
, @' ?) B8 R. T8 R: a$ W
7 n; y5 ?  y; P2 X" ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: g, `$ x! p# ]without complaining,constantly retraining and
" r/ K, x- d6 ?: s2 Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( y4 A" _# N8 C* bcan ultimately surpass you.
9 b+ r: W: M0 J; |
/ D+ j  f: n& q' ?% ]
- n, \) d( B3 U$ q2 N& vPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) w) ~. y2 v2 e6 JNone required, unfortunately.
9 x$ |$ K  ^) I% `% o* _# WOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; r( Z1 s" ]8 g3 @. _$ lGet this! You pay them!
: q/ E* z# @+ M9 k- H- }$ jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; w2 `( n5 z0 t/ J2 ^* T1 q# Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 U, Q) B9 C& i0 }1 q/ myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
& H  K4 k. c! R! n+ pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. ~! v) L6 o* [/ `7 z% Uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. R7 |3 y# w0 W$ yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


& r3 u7 @' l. v3 I1 u$ H

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

0 U, S# y2 }+ x% d: @) H7 r) ]2 e

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) Q7 }  `8 M, o8 j" I4 Ior forward with love
2 B& r. t+ [5 f2 z. H- pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- B6 j& u6 d- j

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.