Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' X) d6 r8 j) V7 O, z# y0 R+ M1 ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) w3 ?$ w' X3 Z/ uJOB DESCRIPTION:
; c) J! K/ J9 X7 y  g- h. c5 k2 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
2 w% A" d. c( |" F+ p8 c3 B' F
1 e! O$ f$ m  qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  X7 W* L7 m1 ~4 j5 A8 FCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ n3 h% \- r1 Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) w* {' w. q- XTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
( e1 d' {! J( b$ dThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" X' M; F* B& _/ ~- u9 Kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 |4 U* \% g! t- V" w9 Zand stuck zippers.
( G3 M  ]& Q- r3 f/ ]& m% K; _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 b0 w6 V; G" d8 s( e& gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 J9 M1 Q! U" d# B! ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% {! u7 I1 o1 J( Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* }. z+ F$ T7 Z$ D5 Pthe quality of the end product.
# @* s/ U6 w7 P6 m  i, cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# I9 @  R2 @3 a* a+ f+ Mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& P: y8 E& T8 d. d* g6 _* fNone.
! G' N' x: c: W/ OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: S" a, f" F: n* D" J" [" D; Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 s$ \3 P8 M8 s5 Z/ Bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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% b1 c2 x! u4 ?" V1 V' r* WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, Y0 d" S6 [; W# r. X! w' w6 o$ nOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* L9 N% x5 {" Y+ u0 G$ \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 @6 I# H. }. A$ g% I2 ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# I* P) |' k! o' [of the assumption that college will help them
4 w( s7 [6 D5 v0 {, ^become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ q' _8 w: j/ L7 yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" Z6 P" I# O2 M& P* c1 W. hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: a" X- o  a4 ~$ ^. Sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& [6 q8 r4 H) {" U/ d1 h7 x
1 C) u+ }7 `3 t4 q; |% x5 G# Xfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


+ x: ]3 }. E4 z6 K" J+ o
" d' w% s% _1 Y  k' E& a7 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, z/ u( P$ Z. z+ g# ?. z2 Yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.