Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( P9 i2 x( w0 @% y) F% M, J% }Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- ~0 W4 Y' P/ f5 _9 |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. q$ k: {' Y7 Z6 S+ Hand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' i) Q4 m1 `) Y! @( Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 l, j) o0 j5 t6 x6 s& @% ^0 e7 J/ USome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  c: D  X. L: ^. q2 p0 H7 @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, h$ T0 g) O/ y# u6 {7 C$ VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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2 x0 a; G, k/ y! e9 \RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! U% `* c, `! S0 i4 {Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* f$ H6 i- q: G4 f  X* c3 F/ Tuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 o/ K0 l- k  g' D( gin case, this time, the screams from
2 |6 c4 u: `: O0 y$ hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 L9 i4 ~" C8 ?+ b: e9 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; E3 L5 @" E; d9 L/ h; t6 xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- x% r" y9 E; s: z5 y  Yand stuck zippers.
  y6 L& x& w/ z- W! QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ t  p1 h/ G  z% a% ?6 `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- V8 h9 q, I( ~& f3 @: Y  a1 [' @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  G) ]/ X& P" gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 D/ q3 _( x% g7 i$ {4 Q. eMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ N. U  Z' d4 A/ ^' Y& {; UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; R0 O$ A% ?! r' g( v1 R& Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 j0 w9 a+ r: U2 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 {% C- ~! a) o1 n- v# N0 Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
! W" f/ n+ p8 i# N" \" x/ A- Scan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( \1 z6 F) x: m: nNone required, unfortunately.
' p) q! [8 L' u+ BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

, w) h% D+ R, iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) Z& A2 Q/ |) Z+ OGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- J! {- X' t, I- a( a4 Vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ y6 b. k3 e  E+ G6 iWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 k4 z. p  V9 |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 N$ I$ {1 t0 U, _4 |9 Wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' m7 Z2 H$ o. ?0 kBENEFITS:
5 V& \8 X8 `+ D  l" D' K4 @. mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* X0 l0 N) C) B$ Tno stock options are offered,
) ~& M3 N7 b7 j1 v* ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# E8 O# l, h3 A3 N/ a: F
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. Q& v2 c5 q3 r& a) L6 ^8 I
for life if you play your cards right.

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, @4 P3 K, J& ]$ v! \" Q  e/ ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ O  F% L: X. K, RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 ]) s* Q4 }  r4 ~( Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.