Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( z9 u- A, |6 s$ D1 D0 l0 e2 }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
& ^" }5 n; O, b4 \! ^) U6 t7 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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; y: N- ]8 U  h# w% ]5 tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 \9 a+ v* \3 i3 _/ PCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ f# H5 T: q) JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 R( F0 G4 l0 q, X; \5 k" }) Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' m) w) ^  U) x' m7 iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 U9 B) N2 Z( q3 g5 k$ u9 iExtensive courier duties also required.
9 f6 D) n/ d' q/ B1 _
% \/ _; x  I! nRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 E7 z) N; N7 N/ l; z* t& a8 cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. J* k3 \# i$ x0 vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* r, T: U; o4 G+ i  _! g, ^; |3 [5 vin case, this time, the screams from
9 g# |* n+ R& t4 C3 _& V* j( Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: p9 m! Y# a: n. o: D+ c+ ^such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( p9 i, G* E# Y  {) Q( }and stuck zippers.
. v2 R& k3 L& i6 [) l/ S2 uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ u9 w0 t$ t. |6 K7 L: ban embarrassment the next.
2 k2 R9 m! p: V) n4 qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  S- O0 [+ e: BMust assume final, complete accountability for
; W* K5 ]- X7 c* r0 ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 j6 A% U+ o6 \/ j0 M  SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ D: q3 c3 C0 s$ r& `& V( h7 x- T' v7 nNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. ~! J! U8 D0 g9 wcan ultimately surpass you.
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- [7 n6 m9 S8 D  C8 m" L) |) KPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 ?6 Q/ j3 r0 R0 h. Z3 L, HNone required, unfortunately.
5 q4 E+ m* m3 K  H0 VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# ~0 P) |' d$ s3 P7 fWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- R1 ^/ w3 [3 w- j8 y. kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 R, ~1 L; z: hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 {+ ]0 C2 K1 ~; U; T& S- nBENEFITS:
/ W; [9 R" ~: P3 d4 o: dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ K0 Z0 B, I- E, ?: w5 o1 Z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

/ @. l, W& N3 |& s% y- g
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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) N: s3 M+ f$ NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ \1 O2 b# w4 ~letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 w; o# m& Z0 O* ~% h

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.