Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 k; Q% j/ }  X" U5 m4 _7 y' aJOB DESCRIPTION:
% M, k0 l, E5 W, X4 r7 vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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& D2 l; C9 ~9 O3 `5 h5 qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: U" A& T: e$ }Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 K4 v# l5 }! Q& R/ Aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 t/ `. I2 n2 w& I) g6 r- L& WExtensive courier duties also required.

/ S) ]$ Y8 {: f" ~, q: D6 iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, H; x7 O0 Q+ N6 l( tuntil someone needs $5.
3 U. l- e- W: KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 }8 X0 E- f5 R4 aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 u5 b7 X( {6 @# r9 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* w0 r% c( U; U' ~+ Y/ YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, P) b* W7 V& W( Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ q+ Q: A) k; L7 S& yMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ p& U, e5 z. |; K9 xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# s7 T2 [  Q; ^7 \4 c5 }0 van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 M' B* H& R; j3 R+ ?' e2 cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! o( U- h! j. _/ nMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ b6 ~# h1 ~8 E, Vthe quality of the end product.
; ]' c! t  B0 h) ~' W* qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. m6 V' c  ~. S9 }8 H# X: E4 Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 a4 ?  T0 U0 h# P. l9 G- u' qNone.
4 g. Y6 F) _( M7 N+ e" SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* F0 N/ Z4 R+ L+ [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- C! W) w% }: x. L4 Z$ JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 \4 G6 }. B- la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 o5 A- ~0 U/ K& T, nof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, \) {) P# g5 D+ X8 K2 wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 }% M5 X* d5 U* h; F( }0 Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 p2 R: V9 Z  O/ ^- u* HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% w* N9 Q- ?9 B, U. s6 Kno stock options are offered,
/ K* D; Z' M  S6 ?+ vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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5 z7 z* Q, e5 `; Z0 k  ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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2 \: E' z+ {3 Z6 {1 k; [for life if you play your cards right.


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! j! o: @" |. U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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! K4 ]! b; q' D4 QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ g- O" @# q! ~8 R5 d3 Pfor the fabulous job they do...
$ l0 g# w) r) |3 |. i% \or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.