Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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0 b4 g+ [) f; q. J5 B. rWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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3 I+ J/ D: K. d4 {- S2 H/ M" ]& eOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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' o- X  P. `" L" F0 q- N& }5 R9 hYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

1 f1 P& o, d8 F5 RIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

" c' n# k! Z( t6 T: W7 eIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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" {# l7 z: s# AThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

1 |; S$ \0 k0 JLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

- K) W- m+ o6 ^  q7 gDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

: |, `" `: M& D2 u/ j) [If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

( ^  f6 y6 o" i$ B! aShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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3 R. Y% B' X/ QHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

- l$ {. a' E1 o) VSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane