Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

) L3 m9 N, \, s( v* p4 ]) W2 r2 V' FWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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3 M/ F* Y7 H# k2 s3 l1 cIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

7 d& i. S  O; ^- l; yThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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( d' Z1 c. r" n# y' i7 w7 @Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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$ F0 Y% V: b: Z0 qLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

( I% E; O3 X2 o4 N+ p/ e: dThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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4 i/ ?* E4 a, [2 dAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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- l3 j: V+ q0 H0 FDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

! \/ ~" N; B% b8 G! B# p/ h7 SIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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, a, c' ?2 Y4 Z: D) B( Z; q) _In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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4 p6 G5 [$ }, P! v5 F" nHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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( D$ j% o5 q/ oYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane