Crazy English! Zt

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. Y' E2 z7 [! r' E( Q9 NCrazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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* ^1 w9 P# o$ w1 |$ JYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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+ O+ a+ V+ ^( ^& L: z# FIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

/ V; i7 b  L% Y9 s5 h1 h; V' cIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

. g* }  P: L4 K8 _# eIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

' e) h4 r- \4 o  ?# v& VThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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/ O9 P1 Q* a  h4 A5 o6 b$ }9 FThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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, q, ~9 k/ H) `& I) w- n1 uDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

# {! \. G/ s# W! h4 DIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

; _; E- B4 q+ T" v1 k+ K, b- [6 CIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

" c6 G% H. F! K* n7 GYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
  t, A' ~( {( GHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

6 i- D9 I: e4 w) N4 tSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane