 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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& |: D: q) @2 K9 v( KLet's face it' _* `1 c% k: e& t9 D
English is a stupid language.
" P! x5 k. L2 X' N! }# o" G, R: CThere is no egg in the eggplant* u( {3 g3 a: g" O: g. J: f8 M
No ham in the hamburger' z8 C% q( D% W2 V! R1 j$ c
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
/ r H! l' O# C" E' V/ X: y$ y7 ^% KEnglish muffins were not invented in England- h& @- b( S9 ~* h. D; R
French fries were not invented in France.
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$ O9 U7 _$ C7 c H7 T; V5 |# }We sometimes take English for granted; N8 |2 b$ X$ v6 }
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
% k& J, g& q+ v2 J3 E8 K$ G, AQuicksand takes you down slowly
* }, Z2 L% `: B" S, a( dBoxing rings are square4 {' O! c: ]# t8 N3 _/ m
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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8 Z$ Q8 Q: @ d3 ^5 o. h+ nIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
5 f( x8 F2 k- MIf the plural of tooth is teeth' N9 }. R C/ w( P! }9 M% @7 [+ m
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth7 f) ~5 `1 W5 A+ Q: G
If the teacher taught,& v' X- j, C3 }8 ^
Why didn't the preacher praught.: @& K3 U1 L" k, K6 ~, O+ b- [7 V
) Q6 v: U, R) y5 e+ OIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
2 v* N" s2 }5 a0 A6 h pWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?/ V2 g5 V' L' ?1 u) U
Why do people recite at a play' s) L- R% h7 R$ `* o
Yet play at a recital?
3 Y" r4 g. p. z& r0 J$ e$ fPark on driveways and* [2 K! `, r7 r' e$ [5 d9 c
Drive on parkways" n2 p* h' ~' H4 G% ?7 }
3 Y+ ~4 k1 B' t! u$ k" P0 h: ]You have to marvel at the unique lunacy- k }3 j. ^( O9 }
Of a language where a house can burn up as
; Z2 C% T4 X# B J' [It burns down
% U3 F0 `3 E% R. G5 O. X; ^And in which you fill in a form
9 i, v$ j0 i4 a8 F- }By filling it out
- Z+ X& M3 I0 V% r, r: ZAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!$ Q; d9 g$ ^3 S" C" h
- F7 y* `+ B' H7 |% S/ R; ?0 E! AEnglish was invented by people, not computers
% i3 b: Y9 I$ D4 p1 gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
D: R! C( e G/ H(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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$ \2 Y( a/ E W. u/ P$ C7 q8 ~That is why
1 I# O/ ]# r2 { U1 QWhen the stars are out they are visible1 z8 o* z* S2 P1 R! H
But when the lights are out they are invisible! T. w- X$ H$ I H4 N- X' Q& u& D
And why it is that when I wind up my watch' A* T: ?9 ?+ }
It starts
3 M, |; Q" d6 K4 l& }But when I wind up this observation,
" g! p: N. B) q3 J1 i7 s& h7 w0 QIt ends. |
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