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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?2 w/ t- S7 G) I% h/ `! p A
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Let's face it7 a! _" e9 {- u( E4 |
English is a stupid language.+ P0 p7 Z8 I; |( i/ B
There is no egg in the eggplant
& u% ?- \7 g+ C& z# T MNo ham in the hamburger
: V5 d( H, n6 G h: }9 P2 S& ~And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.! E+ ?. h5 x' y9 Z5 M! T# \
English muffins were not invented in England, w& O; j( S- Q2 p
French fries were not invented in France.3 b( e/ l# w0 m
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We sometimes take English for granted: c4 A& K* u3 ~4 s. R
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
! J. W4 H2 r; V6 ]4 W! ?5 x; cQuicksand takes you down slowly
+ z1 K3 A2 H5 J2 ^& M2 T8 h6 zBoxing rings are square
4 R* K9 v) L! y- m `! f/ Y( PAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # u) n" j* c/ {+ z" {. ]0 G6 k$ _
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.$ S7 v0 w% p$ N
If the plural of tooth is teeth
# n( E2 z: m- P' M( M7 RShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth# a$ X" L; s& T" y4 P
If the teacher taught," X& t3 O( U, D- D
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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& R2 C8 l, {9 _If a vegetarian eats vegetables
2 c3 K e1 y2 U( D5 YWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
) x: r1 a8 b* o, T. y" KWhy do people recite at a play4 X/ ^; z' |' G6 L
Yet play at a recital?' Y9 b2 r3 s5 D! D3 K; Z2 a
Park on driveways and [6 a* Q# R. r$ n
Drive on parkways
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# [8 f( d* s# A8 S- _You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% t% F" {4 j3 ?- _! P) |* hOf a language where a house can burn up as
8 F9 U, K$ O2 xIt burns down* Q5 q/ G! l( _5 e/ q) E j' n
And in which you fill in a form 5 p& h6 m- R* s" W: S6 z [
By filling it out
( P1 }2 X6 |9 R( oAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!3 j) V/ P8 E" O( W- r) S
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English was invented by people, not computers$ L7 G4 l1 F& S, y
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
! }: L9 l% Q( U2 S' J& j(Which of course isn't a race at all)0 C# K7 H* ]7 k0 D( [4 q# j
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That is why
& k6 d1 q' ]; D2 @! HWhen the stars are out they are visible
* I n+ r6 l6 K! ], K5 G, lBut when the lights are out they are invisible
# I- ~5 I/ w& i9 w& h' OAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch2 |9 B9 f w i3 P& o# p
It starts
; b+ e* Q E2 Z2 ^. |. QBut when I wind up this observation,
G& ?9 g9 j$ ~9 x' ]% VIt ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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