Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
, [. M2 t0 E& E2 Z! M7 N> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
8 d2 ^! R' U% d3 Z$ h* ?>thinking."
9 s: I& `+ T. \- g> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
! U$ j$ D' U5 l/ a>cream.
2 T# I8 H$ j) D( n0 \> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
4 d3 ~: _8 b: Z) U3 @+ T> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
  R2 q: \$ ^& ~( K> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
/ `) b$ B; r! H# f* W: T; N( z> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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$ x; I/ k* ^! _- X3 R! y> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
" Q: f; P7 r. b! Z9 }/ }> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
% X! L! k" f! a8 ?- U> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
! k9 k/ i9 h( }/ f* L2 D> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
8 I! E- v, ]4 o4 `8 @" A7 h% u6 _> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
: _. i# {" h# c+ D' N) h> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
( K  i, {& b7 R" ~% \0 y> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
1 s: q& J- A% W4 W) `* u> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
5 N, l4 e- o' V+ n! Z> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
1 t' A5 k* N9 n4 B> > > >piss!!"
& ^9 ?7 C! I6 Y( T$ Z1 E' p4 q> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
) ~' g. O- E" X  ~# z( `: A0 p  k& i> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
, U; b4 C- p4 Y. V: E0 B+ B> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
6 }% l/ J8 X* T3 @> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
+ P$ N' O  I8 h. w, [) b> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
! a; \6 [" @# V; j) |- m8 N> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
$ w. z2 i2 G; R! c) q8 B, h* Y1 `> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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, X* \. f) }7 R; {: I1 q( B; {" l> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
3 U6 P/ l  E. S0 [# f> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
' s! o3 }+ {* }# g+ X" [, l, w> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
3 v' O6 E6 ^! [" d1 ?> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
+ ^/ v2 t/ Z! v> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business