 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " A6 L* I" j" G% z; R5 T
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks., b. q( X2 i# H2 d- m/ X3 \- l
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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5 T! [: m" H8 S5 t5 b. w2 V$ i0 v# zIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.! j1 D' Y* F0 h G, Q
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 w: q9 k$ i' |8 [9 ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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4 _4 C, {! V8 O3 X- [: I2 [Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. $ L1 P) r: Y C% [' a
( M+ _5 F6 G J5 rWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; ]9 T' |) X7 I7 w4 U$ u
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ m, s9 N/ `5 m" g/ ~1 P; K
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ e+ F9 Z" U Y* F( [- S( H5 C3 M
; {7 a+ g2 u3 l6 \* Y: \Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 0 \' @( b) O6 }" J4 x# P; d
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Rinse conditioner off hair.9 C2 v3 Z4 R4 I8 c
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Shave armpits and legs.3 A3 Z9 \8 ^& {; Z
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Turn off shower., u* Y3 Z% A, _' I$ Z, O8 D
5 L1 H* v* a* s; \. G, n9 d9 v. cSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 1 L4 _; j( N3 `: Z* I9 r- D2 n
3 m9 C9 G$ P: Q3 ]Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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! \# b" C0 V- H+ x- R B4 m5 rWrap hair in super absorbent towel. & {3 n( E$ r1 K9 y; C
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) w& f* |% Y C) @
0 ^1 L& o, M3 m4 X8 L7 ~2 tIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 v! I& A7 N4 y; c" l2 J
2 M$ [5 S" _9 Z8 w6 K3 e' WWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 5 F4 k; A" w* O, b1 t( r+ Z+ j
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 e) f8 W+ A( W: P# w/ D) b
5 a& F) {8 F0 g# S: qAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ `+ v. Y# k4 r/ i
: @* W+ B% ?, |Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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7 M( e- T8 M3 Y uBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ r; @. d6 J, Y! k' C) f3 `
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 A# O" j! l4 a7 W) Q' V1 O: O
# A; X i( U6 T/ OSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ) c! |% T4 N l2 m; ?9 Q
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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$ J$ f8 Y* k& w; FWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. " K9 f4 q- @7 r1 w
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 1 `3 V0 \. Y) |" G2 w4 w
1 |' v# D& x5 \2 EPartially dry off.; P+ y0 j& U6 z2 M! I; {4 U+ D4 ~
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 W5 x" t; \( }( K% Z, ~) B' V
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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8 `6 h$ t- h% T, Z* hLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % k5 z+ U; c# e. c) ^
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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" {2 B) `2 q+ \4 l' t' J. NIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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