 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( E" O) b0 W6 M: }( J# F8 f
2 u! a; z; u3 i. D: ^
5 t: F3 _. E4 G, e& ~: o: l: s- _( P
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ Z. X8 i( v1 _
2 m* W2 a/ i ]
3 S, o* T' _! N9 ~5 d
% f. t9 S& i0 s) QTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- ^% d6 D$ h' ~- _. S
/ ~* v" @" w9 X5 H1 R
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 8 c2 @5 |9 c. i# g3 L3 v
# ~( a) j& X% W7 s' tIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ w6 F9 r T5 q: N/ _3 @/ U$ W
# h+ c- X' s* ^ k- J* j
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 A' k* X8 u6 i: A0 p
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.7 Q/ o1 Z! ] ^: g/ x
# o8 Z% o6 @ [0 Z0 p
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; I; `. y, S5 a, X. l9 C/ o
0 D v. {7 l$ Q/ e7 ^& r8 jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 |. G' E6 b9 m y
( J! c6 l6 e9 ?: g1 \ C# q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.( d# v% q8 I. @" L# O
% C1 a+ D( r7 J: z9 sCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& Y: f( @/ J* N% @* }1 W! b% w, M
6 Z$ I+ Q8 V5 w5 Y, F6 P# jWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ! L! j' Y# F+ H5 d
, [* d+ \! _. q# \! P
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
" A( _* @( S$ |& r; X
' }; }: I/ }. eRinse conditioner off hair.
0 E5 T. P" z$ N4 g9 t: i! q/ G$ ?$ i: \0 T6 G
Shave armpits and legs.
" E! G! p$ I* U! }7 ?: M$ J: ^, |* d: A9 s1 i- O) r3 ?; |/ W& h7 u
Turn off shower.
; p! \1 H* }+ X6 h- i3 l+ c- ~" {3 u; B- b, Q: P, @+ k( T" c: q
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' X( I' n: N8 S+ N U. n* M
+ x# R/ Z+ s- V% O. S3 E( S f% `8 PSpray mold spots with Tilex. ; S2 |% \; I6 j, Y
* H% d6 f: X7 z, K* P! X
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' K7 h8 B, C- X0 Y5 h
# F, V* d4 Z* x f
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. : d9 V3 u- O& g+ y7 s5 w+ O7 J
& X; c- }* y! M6 x% V1 JReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
- R6 B8 D+ m S7 s" c
8 o4 m- |& D( E/ Z$ {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; h- e3 e8 p9 B5 w/ |/ p4 {0 H4 g2 j4 S3 M7 g7 l
9 d0 C$ I1 w7 t# hHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 h4 ^9 y+ B2 J+ p0 m3 [; T' j
5 [& d$ ~: |' U2 ATake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
# K0 N) M# Q1 K9 b/ {/ n& Z" ?
) I7 P6 z+ h- C1 H( d% \Walk naked to the bathroom.8 \8 S( D" S: {9 E3 N4 d
2 {( `$ Y7 v9 O4 ^4 g, A7 t4 J" }If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ! L1 {, ` M; d
8 s3 ~2 C" g9 T0 J A8 ?$ j
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 j0 L: w( G5 r7 V
" E( r& F7 c6 z, D5 PAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
% h0 H6 O0 ]" w. U; I% H, s
8 J. R5 p2 S$ P3 SGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. , J# x8 r% H# _( c; P5 n
4 m$ Z( D: p0 |9 d' ]) gBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. & P& D" b5 @& j5 N3 o
( d' \3 Y$ N; e; zFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. $ V: D- k. g0 ^& p1 T1 r
7 Q1 {0 B( R1 k2 h9 l4 j+ @
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. $ q; z* h$ X/ _
% C2 Q) r) c5 Q: k" NWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
. G4 G! {" p' Y9 [9 U B+ f" w$ E+ M3 _9 A
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 8 V) x G0 a/ n6 u
. Q) P: B w0 m
Pee. 5 D" B; W9 l+ J+ q v
+ x; | ~0 w, S$ F/ T9 kRinse off and get out of shower.
; ^7 `6 I3 M4 @ b* e1 b" M, u q5 L
6 L$ y( H( b" O) @( L# l5 ~- ^4 kPartially dry off.* G' j5 N& B8 O5 r) ^3 L5 p
: z5 o& x' \* B% Z
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
% s0 F9 z! A- E3 g+ F; x
/ g2 c4 L* v5 q1 m& I8 p0 k8 FAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
: Z5 w& Y( e/ f; @5 u, t0 U/ o# o3 R1 ~7 C& ]
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. . O; s9 ^* y0 K; B* G
, _9 F& u" P2 ^+ f% \% Z4 ~
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
' S/ F. Y2 M$ r# v6 T# u% f* `' V1 Q7 h& d! {$ p$ a8 [/ l; o
Throw wet towel on bed.
! l" b8 x* n. ^. z
* r/ q8 t/ |& i7 {- p; [& iIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|