 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 o" R/ U5 Z- l
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) u$ X+ c; K# u5 y2 `* {Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.7 m% o3 W9 m, z- [9 Q, U
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! }8 Z' Z9 c w6 i, n( Q
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.; d- @- K+ V( H6 y }. e( [. i4 B
( t$ K- z1 o! LLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 P: x! V: K! ]' ^9 D
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; h1 x3 [6 E/ T9 r0 h N; B$ J
% l, `$ W+ g4 q- OGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Y( d Q/ q$ W; o( |. V
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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( D7 _: z6 `3 \" S' JWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 S( M% [7 {# w' u% Y
7 G/ k3 [1 U* s& l" aCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ d" }6 D! F0 m+ L
U6 X4 T2 t, [ XWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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) L/ N6 S' O1 k! k5 Z$ W: DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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* l! h8 _; j/ ?; D8 o* G7 \Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 3 G2 C8 `; J6 {" q8 V
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 1 o8 `2 l4 ?) |, b% |; k H3 x
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: / W6 s8 X. {* V9 l% i
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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/ y' B* B+ H% W$ J" b2 H3 q& p: HWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ G" G+ K. e; k
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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+ y: y# d2 l. _2 N6 ?' }* dAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 Z- l) e6 O v5 w% B
H/ o; l$ X- l7 `Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . W/ J" m- @; @6 K: J( j- `
- ~" E5 e b4 x% p3 N1 |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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1 h/ Z" u+ m7 x% S+ ^2 g$ v* I' ]- S' f$ PSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; D0 ]& B* |( B6 a- @
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ! z8 M. p. f: ?7 [* |7 f
9 n% F3 b7 D1 t& x! _' pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 2 l1 h( n1 x7 S; N, A+ I
2 |* O! `/ U9 m7 o# `0 s9 LRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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7 k% D& \- W+ P& q7 ~Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, V( X/ g/ w2 ZLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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; F. C7 M' A* N) g8 dThrow wet towel on bed.
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3 X! o) @$ e( ?2 b% [, \1 ?If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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