 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " A7 E g& x/ Q1 a* L! ~; q
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6 a" p3 ~9 i1 V4 s* XTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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. `& z! u& t" s2 F% b) d' tWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2 B3 ~! ]7 k7 P; U) O0 h
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.5 I' O7 V4 j- \( z1 w
x, [( W0 D: H4 @" T; P' K3 |Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # p R* P, i1 }5 P9 d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.! ]) m2 M2 ?" |( A7 g( |
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " f# m2 n: {) r
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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- z. J* j& ^2 G# T' u0 J! k( OWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ }7 d+ [# ], u6 YCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& [9 | c" D: o4 IWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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! P1 U/ X P" T: D$ yRinse conditioner off hair.1 r2 Y+ X+ @- K, s4 r
/ O( {. a+ G) ^8 SShave armpits and legs.; X- P8 I- y6 ]. `1 V% h
1 e. k( C8 P# @" _Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.; f) W! G+ |* Y
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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' C9 g8 k2 O4 k5 w8 G1 L' U! ^Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 U. Q7 H" s& S. s: o2 }
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. L: y7 A1 r+ @ b6 Z5 Y5 F( P2 U2 [0 w
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. q! h p& J( q
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! E5 A5 X5 E8 S- w0 U: N# iHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : R0 W D6 `5 J H5 i4 v
* d9 O; L6 R9 vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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* B4 O; m' `& @% C2 TIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , h( V j" _# u/ W1 T+ s5 q
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 3 S0 D0 j4 u7 ~; D. q
! O/ h4 z) z* C, M6 l7 OAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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9 {/ c, {" M, n' AGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / d' H/ L/ {, _+ q/ n
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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8 c+ D4 U, r( y. R) LWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 @' I1 T# m$ r
3 h7 x# s& l7 K8 V" ^# oWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % O q ]6 \& L) {4 g
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.7 h; j# n: y1 E- _ j$ c
& V! F; a: T2 z& U( _Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. + E3 W: i: w9 N& A e. D; g
, H, f. V5 V" E0 |Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 3 L9 A. ?( l5 j3 }3 A5 S
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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