 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 p; Z- X, g) z* Q7 R2 s
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& g+ {0 Q7 q5 f& g! `Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& s1 O( K' p* R0 \; V% h" D* M5 Z
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. # k( u# g( j" y6 ?$ X9 ]3 V
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.& w% d+ X* i6 U. O8 H7 H) P
; F* t5 i# g+ Z6 PLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 T3 q' x' Y4 D" f ~make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.7 D. h- A1 O$ Z! A X
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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& n, `* J- o1 J FWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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7 e0 ~8 ~- k" j+ `! dWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 Q+ e( l2 t- J
3 j0 p" |3 C) v( s; S9 BCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* L% D( F7 B! X2 s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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5 G9 _" K; }0 BWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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# y- M3 y7 m: \1 CRinse conditioner off hair.
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. D! ?& @, j2 o0 E( A; pShave armpits and legs.1 b: G5 L' b' j- p9 _ }
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Turn off shower.% `$ p; x% y% F: v6 O8 [
- s' U& y% W. v {% nSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. [6 ~ W# H- B8 U' C
; f c4 V2 f$ O+ wGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 k1 a, p( G& w) e O
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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3 q$ j9 `. c& ^( t! aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 M1 B9 \% V; Z
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: J; {# ~: ?8 U, H" L; `HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! Y7 o* v! L3 K
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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! I7 |5 _; _) n& ]% L& q, {If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) W3 z$ |: C: n% r. T" a
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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+ W4 L& N/ A( s: U, ?0 IGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ) B# v1 k3 e0 [% c: {
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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0 m& I( a% V1 U/ dFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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4 E% v; Y3 E! VSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , e: ?# Z1 j9 L0 _2 {
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. " |1 H; u8 y8 v9 t. h4 O
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 Y! u& z9 s3 J L# t, j: P. o
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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* G% ~* V, r- Y: TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! e2 r% j) \& O U& `8 X& \! H
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + R! K! X, f1 F* {! L( Y7 C: G
) O v2 n2 \5 H/ {8 pThrow wet towel on bed. # e! a( A) h ]/ W* [, `( I+ t
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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