 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
. H3 G) X+ u k' h3 t) _/ b" t: u* b# i; z8 |
8 M" ?- c+ n! [- h--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~+ k2 x9 Q; P$ G" X9 [
- h% f7 Q6 N. c, n! A& f& H
0 n$ P, Q1 V- |. ?, v - }3 U% L6 Y; z4 b& y# n
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( m' _- I, P3 F% a% @, b
2 O% t; n) d: gWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
. M7 n* T3 Q3 ]2 l8 J* Q) {& }- t& O" `2 h1 D& |9 j0 M
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
: W6 _1 N, b, V4 @: K* w0 B3 K y# u) `! y3 a. p
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ i2 W: y! F" `0 U7 R/ I: Nmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
+ K2 \7 W/ h3 F3 v% T( Q% W& ?: E% w g% K
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
& f" e2 b" C7 T5 c% g
: \' ?: v$ h1 m+ |Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
' l% v1 V: n3 J, c; C9 R( q! d
/ b* ]" R) ]! n' i. Y7 p( }Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
, i0 f" ^! b4 d/ j3 s7 O# @* W2 A/ ~# a& F1 q s$ A
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 T# t7 r2 z% I2 d
! Q) I6 [2 ^2 U- T$ C) v) q$ D8 F( i
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
! }7 L5 V) e1 L( n1 S: ~6 z% b/ z) `
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
; V9 T! p( x/ {! @8 z( @5 g8 G% P
Rinse conditioner off hair.$ G( t# d9 q; N% D6 k
1 q- l& \' o& s1 E( s% }& c. `% wShave armpits and legs.
, V! D U, b4 |: f% t8 A
. ^ }2 x4 }, v4 r, U1 G- JTurn off shower.
' z% C/ G2 j; q* `# l- i+ E
! w8 }- Y) @( m$ pSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
3 ?- R. M* b+ e6 t+ z0 H" a$ }4 A! w# h. H0 s% P
Spray mold spots with Tilex. / L+ F) a* n5 H# {5 w
- ~( ]4 _9 N2 _6 RGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : Y: e, P% N1 N4 L7 w& W& ?+ m8 _
( i% c4 y! l/ y8 VWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) D% A# f9 N9 h ]
" r/ u0 [& h' Z4 O# C* K
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 j: f' W( a; i) y( n7 ]
2 t3 X; Z6 h% ^# J1 F: A& ^
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 7 K7 r f4 e& ? q
( V/ `+ A% B6 H" g8 R# h/ [
+ N* D$ R5 s9 g* m- L. ? C
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
+ D0 Y' E* v5 y+ O- N/ A/ |1 z/ M
2 r) @9 p* k; l' u) C. w' C8 z6 yTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
& S) y/ x; l: s+ ?3 U" q5 m A; ~) O6 J
Walk naked to the bathroom.
7 X1 g4 @( d+ [# N% E L/ w! B: \- a" m) P- t% W. I8 R4 I
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
+ o& f. A: h( i) K
4 o2 F) W! J: L4 k) ?8 S' HLook at your manly physique in the mirror. + B2 j) q% G4 ~% c
" z. B% u& m7 f
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
5 o. I8 ^1 X+ j7 T0 t4 H/ z
' c' t5 \; L5 N$ I. rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + W0 O4 s- F( t
7 o/ x0 u. S3 lBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
+ S) I* n. Y6 k6 E- ~ f
+ x0 e, m" n$ `0 _6 F6 i4 tFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
9 Z* W. V4 P$ @ i! y5 W1 r) a# N2 J1 t
' Q8 W3 B# A6 g# _' V1 USpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : z0 {* X8 F0 I' l* z& j% R% o
$ r+ r9 z" _8 p6 O5 _
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
9 B4 F( Z V! |, s1 m% k+ c/ W, t. L- z4 g+ n! I9 j
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 7 h% y; {( n4 {- y1 `$ I
4 g7 J7 K6 s0 C: u" C$ hPee. ) H4 j: _2 P- ~9 b' ?( A1 s0 }
* H; I' `0 b& J% A. ]7 _# [4 g; { r: S7 s
Rinse off and get out of shower. 9 u4 l1 ?" d9 ?9 y. k* u
" |6 j/ |* ] c1 A7 W' `6 |
Partially dry off.
: Q9 E" K! T; \5 T0 a2 |' d( @4 g
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
' i6 y% {5 Q" d
' l0 q5 J3 N0 {: C6 n3 F! F" SAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
. j7 w6 b0 F. ^/ y! U& y% z8 T G/ g& b# Z) h
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
% \) W; j+ T9 X$ f" }- p z
' S9 l6 p% C* xReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
& _. @# q! U8 u' q7 H* [% A7 \. e% \: ~
Throw wet towel on bed. # V. U( P1 n# N: E9 P
: e0 a( X1 Y4 k
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
