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' N( {- y. D; @Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.# d5 A* l) H6 L! {
2. Mostly to clean the house.
! z2 r# }9 a, O! E) t3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 6 M( C* j8 E) n9 a
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How did God make mothers? . K$ e' L; u3 p/ d( T1 ~
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
# O. ^% t# x* H: G+ P9 k2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
p$ T: x7 ?$ P$ S' K; U3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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" d' ^6 \ i' C' t$ e6 K& l( jWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? ( z( F9 Y3 _' e8 Z
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
4 H2 B9 T q! f; y" p. E4 A5 c2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 6 ]7 a- D- p. h; R: S4 |
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 8 G4 p l4 Y1 V( I1 l J/ A$ q' K
1. We're related., ]/ d$ W }7 b
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 1 t& s* H+ q: R4 }
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What kind of little girl was your mom? ' I' {7 X( D# w1 B6 y" S) c
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 7 k+ V3 p* K2 Q! }
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
. @% C Y/ ?. c4 w" W4 n3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 6 [- N; a0 s3 ~1 ^. L6 O# K/ V0 D
1. His last name.& Z6 W8 h. f$ ~9 v4 M( G+ u; W" x
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
8 K8 r5 T& y+ S! b, f1 h; h2 o9 _3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 4 ^4 E6 p2 Q2 k0 |$ u, Q
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
5 ?; N7 l# f2 f/ U3 E" F* s, j1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 9 P+ @. d* ] |2 m
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
* c* [% }6 i7 A L& Z8 t3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? * l9 w+ h# Q) C% L
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
- M& a5 F0 Y. v/ i* G5 L2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.# u; I) Z1 w3 H# v0 J) X7 Z
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. / f+ [0 k( x( x) K/ w V' {
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What's the difference between moms & dads? 2 ?0 ^; z* B! t. R3 ?2 v' Z4 M
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ( k) G2 r7 F1 c$ J# Q0 A
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.2 J# m# [/ I$ H i( v* W% P
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
9 K! `; L+ k* A+ d4 d* D4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. + L. r8 {* {! D0 ~
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What does your mom do in her spare time? ! w' D4 H( Z$ M! Z! _; | Z& r
1. Mothers don't do spare time.! f- Q H8 y z1 M9 p- G
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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+ v& _/ D; B; `& y( y IWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
! f1 V$ N' J, X+ _1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
! r8 t5 G+ N% v6 U6 x6 w+ F4 U2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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# F _- w! f( F; E9 [If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
i! A9 f& @) u) S3 J1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. ' T: G$ i* u& h
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
) V0 a7 s q. I: Y2 z- g- u! F3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. " i. p5 e0 _0 M! `; H0 I1 h
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