 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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Why did God make mothers?
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( M$ B) Y# P" S1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.# c. \- O/ ?9 v- a+ q. j
2. Mostly to clean the house. 0 o% t% k+ t% `1 i9 Z9 @$ x" `+ D
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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: W1 Z- o1 e! x) S3 d5 l; }How did God make mothers? ) E5 A- p0 a2 A |/ j
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
) P# `+ W6 M* _% `/ h2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 0 U9 f+ i5 ]. E$ s
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? : U7 C" K! O* `) h6 h
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 6 N& `( B3 L! }! j) b
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ; \) m! ?; }" X% B* n
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
4 r& G$ r1 [1 G' h: O$ g: `1. We're related.. S: j1 y3 q: ^1 h5 P' U. ~
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 9 K- N& Y; v: D( ?
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
\: w( R! d2 l1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. + t5 ]' r0 |6 q1 {6 c! z
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
' Z$ c# e( O/ I1 E3. They say she used to be nice. - q8 e# H7 ~# }# A! D/ A% C
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? . @6 K t* S, I- C7 |; `
1. His last name.7 k+ S8 S9 m. S0 C
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?, Z8 @3 O. u9 D1 |2 q) K7 B7 L9 W! @+ N
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 7 U$ ]2 z. J: H7 N9 L
+ v0 e& A# [6 I5 ^Why did your mom marry your dad?
) n. n7 L5 `! Z% y2 f- C% J7 [9 S1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. $ k% Z6 _6 A/ q, p5 m
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. / r9 ?& c" m) x k2 T7 @8 E
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 2 u ^8 ~/ h$ p/ W4 r
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Who's the boss at your house?
6 X3 g: V, b) ?/ h( O4 _. q& k1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. & M) a9 s/ W/ C" t9 t5 u9 w
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.( b& t6 D/ W4 [/ t4 u
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
5 w4 H5 y9 N/ X) u4 q1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
! d, c' P# J( Z2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.' _6 ~ b' L& B+ z! e* h2 Y
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
, C% [' d% ^- K l7 b; t g4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 5 D- @' `2 `% z; a; `- ?: R
# {* Y: f7 n1 P' @% `What does your mom do in her spare time? , ~ w6 k) U ] G- s. ^
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
; }/ t) a R& q i( g/ B* i1 @- s5 g2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 4 i9 W {+ {; M- E2 X6 W6 `
5 ?( B, q4 @8 }0 xWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
7 l$ F7 o: \) f9 {7 u1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
. p9 o& M0 A. \9 h2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ) [0 u8 W2 ~2 H/ I% U6 m
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
9 [0 R! }; O5 B4 W+ W- b5 f- ]1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
# i+ J* w# E' S, @- O6 ^2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.0 \5 f. r" k5 u' S( e+ r
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. # g' Z; h0 h( J: D3 t* z+ O
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