 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
$ p- e- D0 _ G9 n9 g1 F2. Mostly to clean the house.
8 O3 i! m/ A5 `) u3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. - A# P- Q1 G4 J% J( a
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How did God make mothers? . J P0 s0 F3 e( o* c' }/ J6 M
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
3 c- `3 s& x; K! m2 ^: s2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. - e! F5 M& Y1 l% \5 \$ |! J1 }
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
, I* n- L. J* a5 N x1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2 O/ d1 G. e: a) Z$ Q; V2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ; D1 J; W. y9 j' P+ r: F9 [
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
' ~; J% I$ I7 l) ]' u; S, \1. We're related.2 o" ?3 r- Y; @- d& V
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
: }& r: W* p4 J, w1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
3 C- V) J# i) _' U @2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
0 @5 h: \3 G5 v9 X9 N3. They say she used to be nice. 4 F; o2 Y) }& l$ [6 n. a ?4 k; z
) D3 `$ H9 A# x& {- hWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? $ P" C. |8 |* k8 c4 X: L; a8 U" I
1. His last name.0 w; q: ?5 `0 B1 W! X
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
6 H: M$ n1 S% z8 A3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
$ x% ~6 q5 }5 V m+ ~1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. , _* z: a$ n3 V3 D- V$ ~2 u5 E: ?- q
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3 I$ {7 i3 T! a/ z2 {4 [% o
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. / X" ]0 p( p- s( E q
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Who's the boss at your house? 8 }+ D5 R; h5 b/ _
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
; R9 v# |/ f6 d2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.+ \$ Q8 k( H8 f/ b; o- L C5 n/ o3 L
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ! H3 ~" l4 y* ` h
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
7 Y8 @: r) O1 `$ g7 v& |3 n1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. . d5 X; U* z& E, i& Q
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
% Y- S, n: Z; `# ]- R3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 9 |' S9 O W9 f4 c: f7 o
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. + C4 M1 L- g+ ?8 T8 |
$ p* c1 B. N# ~& p; R- oWhat does your mom do in her spare time? 7 d; n2 P; p% I6 M3 \+ F# {
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
# l6 P7 D8 Y) ^' |5 j: O6 z2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ( D5 j7 N; d% I" I$ R# S* w
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
f- M1 y7 o3 J& w* }3 F9 N1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.# r5 q0 a# r% q2 D. \
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ) m4 I6 t- G9 y1 G# O8 m1 C6 g
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? + l& N" X' @. P; U K. g
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. ( R- s, f5 V: H! u1 ~" {
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.6 Y7 q! w: g* Z, h4 u# B
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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