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+ ^1 b6 R- L4 X; l6 K! ^% lWhy did God make mothers?5 e7 `; ^$ i# b g8 U4 y
. F% D' [3 X8 M) W1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is., C" m' ?! W$ F- n% e
2. Mostly to clean the house.
# _+ \9 U5 \. @, w3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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6 `% j( J3 c. [& c& I$ j u% eHow did God make mothers? 9 ^- i( l0 n- [% p! k* _
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. M; E2 r# g" y8 P; X* y+ X
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. ( x- s$ w2 k$ q
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. * } W7 v( p! B1 q. T5 l9 I
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
2 J7 l5 K5 a" f: i6 N8 T2 X1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 1 }! @0 S( X1 ~" m( f$ ~2 H
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 5 c2 ^1 N" R# M$ I$ ]+ `
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
' ]3 f2 d* b" h7 u& F1. We're related.
) u% s! m% S. Q2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. * s- B) H: f$ R
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
+ @+ Z, ? h# V3 P! Q9 W1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
% M0 W- v7 U- @1 L" |/ l4 X2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
* Y0 ^( W* P# [3. They say she used to be nice.
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. J: `" G8 N4 X; v& M1 u/ UWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
3 O6 |$ C. v/ c2 F) i, z7 g% o1. His last name.
* a2 q' n- ~& S B8 ^* z2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?3 q) [: R8 E; P/ V
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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" J6 W! \( f, z" AWhy did your mom marry your dad?
V" x- g# ?3 n$ ^2 S6 r1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. . i9 g" ]' k/ ^. u# r$ ^
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
5 V4 z, d) u- Z) } ?! l3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 5 U/ W8 c# l% I0 d, F
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Who's the boss at your house?
! I0 Q5 }7 ]- Y1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
) X. b5 j/ [+ y4 V4 ?2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.9 y0 e9 o- P) ~1 a- P5 x
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. $ z- Q* g# ^! r0 Z4 E
y/ \5 e+ o/ Y/ lWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
" _6 d% P: @5 R$ O' h1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
) S" a2 g! N" m) `6 e% H2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. ~. b6 O, w: O+ {! b7 a/ S1 ^ \
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
. ]* m$ ^% t3 d) E0 `4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. # x) O' X7 j: G$ W# h% k P
! d2 F e' W# ?+ QWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
1 X6 O% x3 C4 t1. Mothers don't do spare time.2 d7 n. C" E. W, L2 \
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1 `) G5 t$ ~5 `- }* }1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.; b. v5 q' Q/ Q
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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v- B2 S2 P2 K' }If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? % |' k1 D; s+ q6 H4 O0 U
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
% k1 d( N$ m" W# h" P$ `3 Y2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
! D8 x9 Q. I2 |9 U9 c3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. # R J9 n7 t9 q6 r- N
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