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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
% u2 o. u0 z& M& n2 t1 C1 N2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 3 d) T x" a( s
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
. z" y$ Q. |* [) D: G8 m5 c) J& W4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ! l+ P& {- `$ l
+ r+ C+ P( n9 m; R1 [1. Big rock between you and B.C.
8 U" q7 G8 N# ]* A! P1 t. ^# {2. Ottawa who?- L/ w7 }" L0 T3 r# Z% ^
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. # A/ S/ E( {- u
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ) o0 ^0 u7 ]0 X$ ?: V9 y
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. # x8 t% O4 h% @+ O5 x
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. - [: q' [0 \ @; }4 r/ O
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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2 I0 n% B7 p- q* w5 d* ]' X1. You never run out of wheat.
0 `* _9 E* i( R3 s* U! V) L2. Your province is really easy to draw.
+ w/ @0 A9 c* N2 z3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
" ^' Z) |$ N" j4. People will assume you live on a farm. 3 l4 H2 G: S2 h( g% L
1 i. j/ ^+ N: {+ @$ BTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 1 f: S# S' j& ?' T* F
* }6 f7 V6 S. |* H; s1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ' D# w# ?* [6 b( s+ R
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
% g& Y; Q- z5 p1 g8 n2 @- E2 S3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ! j2 S) M7 f/ D, U+ p4 G+ z$ l
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
% l0 M' _; r, \( B5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. , i4 B, f* s1 B8 Z6 F f3 j9 E! I
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+ E/ I: L5 B" fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1 [- [4 U) ?1 K1. You live in the centre of the universe. 4 ~/ ? `, G% g! q6 I) z) s
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
* `8 f4 E" t+ { v; z& ]3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. + u) W6 H0 A+ g. {
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
g" ^& g- y, n+ x2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. & G) M5 W6 K# @; p$ }: w& A
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
2 K q# T n: X4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *% F4 T) h2 T: [( @
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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( \ N, R2 @9 Q4 ?TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK * s: {# @; ~1 [& O
3 Z/ D; {8 F: _. I6 k) p1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 2 |/ }2 E, W- G6 G: Z5 Z2 l
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
9 W* n' a6 G. ?5 o& j' @% Q3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick * B' z c: Y- K. Y% n- r4 ?1 A. |7 o
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. % O/ a3 U/ n- a
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA + k# z0 B3 ?5 f" T8 [$ s
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
9 ?) m K8 D% |2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ; t. m! X9 x7 U# A
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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) q0 h2 M7 G( I* h. DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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$ k. Y3 w' g& V1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
. U N6 t6 q" f! z2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
% R! p* z* W7 G* q. A3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. # K3 l- h( l6 m; J
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." / e0 N& E' D. _. @: w9 B
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. " i5 V! k% L a2 C) }& w. c
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. $ w$ g, ^8 d% y( v4 W& ^
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) _' p( G* }3 L/ L: p' I4 uTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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( ^8 g6 u) X* r# K, Z; ^/ K1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 5 W- _; h4 B; q6 P5 b
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
- P( b: {+ C t* G% \5 ]3. The workday is about two hours long. 8 `. M1 A* g5 O, N2 e
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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