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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. / w6 u$ c' m9 E6 _
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 4 X5 N q. [( c# d
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
- o+ C' ]0 ^6 i; L4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
$ V* a0 G1 I& E5. Weed
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, ^& h- y3 @; ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA , i/ Q4 o+ J2 V; |
( n( ?3 W F% }% W* ^1. Big rock between you and B.C. # x% A" i2 v/ L5 f5 z2 d" c
2. Ottawa who?( h4 I1 L; k$ T' l# A
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
' ?- e; [4 ?, d4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7 h( ^' z0 K3 y8 i8 w+ B5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 2 p9 n* Z ^9 w/ ?% T5 N8 Z; [5 q
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. ! Q/ J, \+ @6 U. p$ F
2. Your province is really easy to draw. $ g T- d) |3 r' `8 Y# D
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
* [( b+ W+ ^! \" [# `4. People will assume you live on a farm. F; n1 `* }6 P8 A9 t* p0 ^5 u: ^
" c" V! q) G/ R1 yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2 [0 c6 ]+ O* g5 e$ G0 U% `( `2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. / f2 U9 {$ s+ W |
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 6 R' Z# L0 _2 }: W" m7 l# L$ m
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. & Q; k9 w3 L9 s' _7 s/ r1 P' l" `
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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) J( z2 {: g! WTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ( r# u* M, }# N+ t% W; Q
; w8 E3 S+ h2 n/ P1. You live in the centre of the universe. , Q7 {1 L# c0 i: M `2 ?5 {" S! F
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
0 c$ R* y0 }) {9 j0 q s3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. . l5 K9 t: U/ S9 t7 S
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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- q8 | U" A3 w, x: J1. Racism is socially acceptable 6 T7 Y* _7 M9 K7 W$ [
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
6 }; g4 L3 |6 }9 h3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
8 W" S& C% p2 h6 c+ }/ ?4 G4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *4 a7 s& I8 h1 W& Z
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
# `) I" u8 g6 k0 C/ d9 d& ?6 m2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 2 D0 f2 E6 N* g6 r& i' Z
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 8 Q3 Z! Y; T$ B" |6 i5 n+ R; k1 O9 z
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. : s0 w+ d8 _/ i# D
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# f3 g+ z; D6 e9 a0 STOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 7 t$ W4 G! g5 e- A
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. # ^# e: X& u7 S% [; g. C8 y+ Z/ ~# ^
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 5 k" w6 O0 O7 Y' F/ V
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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: O m$ e: C4 D! I" c- P; Y1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ; N) S0 {$ a2 B2 K
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ) k3 n$ h! o; F, S2 i- D, b
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4 \5 N* k4 R0 f0 |* g# C4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." $ A7 C$ R2 f1 G6 Q8 i0 j
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. * j' n4 m( F. k* m
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ! Q7 f/ ?$ c% h6 G
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" R3 R+ n0 t: i# i1 P* ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2 E( x9 a9 _ i2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. / h' f' @! C# y, L
3. The workday is about two hours long.
" q" {7 z0 [" i6 G4 F7 O9 P4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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