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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 8 b2 n) G' p1 L5 C7 w# r& E
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
i# u* I( \4 }* _0 W( L3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. ' n+ E; S* f$ ?0 G1 q3 h( X
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. : X( L, T8 f. ^' t8 _
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 2 u' x, I" r/ ?0 L1 X7 v
# x2 ^# d# Z# G9 k7 y, `1. Big rock between you and B.C. & k+ n9 Y7 p. H
2. Ottawa who?
1 G( l$ \$ X1 R1 q5 d* D ]& W3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
: g3 d9 h k0 t# Q4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5 ]" t1 r2 l# L# T- v2 Y# H9 |5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
3 ~- o, s& B- W+ v6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. / s5 `0 n) [. {+ [7 K
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ; u1 w3 c% X+ Y; k0 \6 Q
$ b/ c! ^4 E( o$ \% {1. You never run out of wheat. + X2 ]1 E( g2 H9 O
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
# Y; X6 g/ N9 ?1 j3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. # u& ~+ @' i2 K; }( n: S: K: e8 s
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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. I* h, `4 v" S" I$ m& s" LTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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) g3 U N7 r+ L/ ~- \6 e1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
9 U. p( }/ [9 q8 H$ v7 R4 b+ B2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 2 d1 p. n9 S* w5 ?5 q$ h
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
/ F& R8 A% J. q' O' E. ~' ^( a4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. $ ^: a: d. v! J+ R( E. h2 B6 F, u
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. : ~8 n: f4 w# I
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 4 N% H& x( r4 A6 n; X
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 1 a- N& w) ~3 L" U) Q) g
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. # i5 c' ^) t5 o2 s
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. : R: v* |( n; K; }' A
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9 U% M6 G6 |# G, O n+ uTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable ; O! ^" l1 c2 L( v% \! L
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
$ i& w& p6 g1 m6 ]9 o: r+ N6 t3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. " N* m: z2 w0 _+ g" Y5 N
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
, w8 W1 @& x) W: kTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK / }% G4 D9 i1 e' d; R
9 |7 M& m* y3 q; f/ |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 4 Q1 d9 _; } I2 u u L3 b- c* t, u1 _
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. / V. I! D$ H( |3 F$ W5 R2 Q
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick q+ ]& [. n4 g# w* |- j$ x
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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/ B6 Q; u3 P& b, q& O) V; e0 }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ) C$ t; C4 Z; m) s& @" b& T0 i0 V8 c
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. `- d* K* m0 t& H* k8 m1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
4 X* t( U5 u0 c, u2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
, r9 P' N2 h' q3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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3 B" ]9 t4 P B0 wTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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. f2 ?5 w. `, Z, H( z! W4 |& K1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. " ]$ p* h3 { }
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ' I3 B8 _2 k/ H# q; N% @8 H- { R# {
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
( s; T. X' _' W& V6 _' U4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
. ?% l, Y# s: P. l3 F5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 1 F4 }! h# `3 _9 _
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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* Q6 B# [( ?! d$ G- G+ H, R/ j- k1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
" \( `9 _ y }6 b, R2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
, l) n9 R& R5 `, H$ Q! w3. The workday is about two hours long. $ t5 N$ a7 z$ w! j; | n
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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