 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!; q0 `1 J a, |1 w: f- }7 f
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写" P0 N* G; x, G% a H, z
: }( n6 P( l1 z6 `9 Z* R1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' `# ~+ ]1 o+ k; T1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫! n! Z/ [, K, q! Q1 ^, K2 p& G
- b. k9 a/ _9 r8 [ S& N1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it' ?, k Z/ h" r, t
down.& D; s @! a5 a* }
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 3 Y9 c h( Q) A4 ^8 |
you
; n# ]8 [( V2 o: L/ Aleaving it down./ a* t- E) g' w) E$ [) I
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？! I* B- ]* Z' v3 L2 b+ Q- k. f1 k
; a0 y2 _8 ^5 Y1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.0 G+ I1 V% t' ~; ^. B
Let it be.& Q8 T2 f% Z# W
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去; I3 j. y- j9 W
7 N$ t+ V- G2 K4 Z# R2 m* k2 E$ T1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
3 Z% j5 }. o2 S4 othat way.
" [7 M: T( I8 Y, I" I G9 f4 u1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.
) J% j0 s) @3 ?1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
5 c9 b; F0 W" K" Y8 ?1 GLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 G/ U$ J/ t/ c8 n1 R0 c7 I* X
Strong hints do not work!/ {$ t2 `. N" l, n F( u3 K
Obvious hints do not work!- w7 V' k- A% e( ^( e! H
Just say it!0 j3 w0 O4 n1 X
1，你想要什么就说
/ }; I6 F* K% `/ I我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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7 k# }) N( v. B2 v: p1 p6 q1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every # [1 d: e" c, @
question.
& {' r2 x, n% z' f5 |1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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+ T# z9 S( C8 f4 h9 D1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's5 X; g8 M) Q7 J2 ^2 Z7 B
what we do.
$ k2 e4 g$ ^% ? j! Z+ iSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7 e: t# F) f% m1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。' B! g' @) c7 J1 q
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
, H, h- B" [8 n$ p; l+ E1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去! ~3 r* |+ G! k" u
- [" k2 z$ Y2 q1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.$ o0 D/ D2 M2 u( i. z% {! J4 W& X
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days." i9 @' r% u$ x# E( n: l: {4 T: _
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了5 a. `" f0 E& h
* _& j. S1 Q2 l. h4 C1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us4 l/ l( b; ^3 ?( j( q# e Z
to act like soap opera guys.
3 H* C+ a5 z2 m% N1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们' E% m9 p( Y4 e& _1 m6 v3 E9 [
# j5 [* O. x* [( p! X# x8 o* R/ Z9 [1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
, D; f1 T# _2 I6 l- k# a- B1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们# h0 p8 q2 q5 d ?$ T: V
( w1 k" ~; W; q# ?$ d& n1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
: U2 Z( R7 S2 f; s5 x0 }makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1 j. K1 X/ W& o4 X6 U/ C/ w
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。' Z& l0 E" l; N ]
) S* U Q! g) k/ z3 K$ R（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
' N+ \2 Z+ {4 s' ~2 `/ R1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
$ g+ o f5 U+ Q" I' L- o0 kdone. Not both.
6 \# O7 a! @, gIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
; `6 [- B1 R& ncommercials.
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; L+ K; R9 ]5 E' \( O1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.4 l1 _/ ^" `- C) e( \
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.& l' `) a/ O& P0 E
We have no idea what mauve is.
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# y' s. \$ h) _! Q2 X3 k+ |1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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* O0 A H! J$ d9 B$ m3 N1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
2 `/ c, f0 o; `6 l4 O7 z4 E3 U2 k- Qnothing's wrong.9 X$ M! O8 @9 `: q: A" k+ G
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.* M' N$ [) E, U+ ~% k, ?
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer# I! ]+ ?! _' N2 R1 Y. L
you don't want to hear.
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- G4 h" N. ^: I# x1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
1 V! w; A% C7 |+ rfine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to1 S: m3 q0 T0 W6 g) _
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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9 o+ s; S5 @1 {2 G1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!: n! n8 u1 H) z. \2 A) i
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; X8 F, D( ~1 g8 |6 h; m/ u& y
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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& C* J# W, l2 J6 L8 ^) qPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
: N3 Z7 H% S/ S6 z; `Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
