 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 [ J) x! A! T% h& e: w请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写+ R j5 u$ J: B/ S2 B: N
2 n3 r3 { r& [1 }1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.' k( M7 }: p' s; d% o4 b1 }# x
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫1 W: [8 V- f6 }5 H/ [
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it; D: W3 x* D, {9 \% T
down.
; w2 @3 y5 N; W+ T9 gWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ( b$ c* W. O& G2 F2 S' k
you
, L: o0 F0 [% E& h' sleaving it down.; I, d( U. U5 T' E7 s! q9 D
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?8 w+ C" O* d" E7 [- ^5 B
8 `: m' q* D. }" F) r( L. z1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
- b( Q* Y! m( QLet it be.
' R6 N" P. O8 n- r) v1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去7 I6 k. M$ Q |3 ^' K
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
* C2 h$ Z6 ]; ~8 G7 _ @that way.; E* Y+ U% [# |8 `
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!/ Z9 A2 w5 _6 w* n! u1 L+ J
4 b) S1 l/ r: ]8 \0 a, \9 a! q1. Crying is blackmail.( J! _) A0 V+ j/ g3 J
1,哭泣是敲诈( a- k. Y) i f! Z- `
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1. Ask for what you want.
) O) F4 g: b0 H( I1 W) pLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
' ~; G5 M1 \* tStrong hints do not work!
; u, ~* Y( x$ ]& B0 K1 fObvious hints do not work!- ~, o' [. b% m; D" k
Just say it!
' _7 }: |- e# L; C. a9 [1,你想要什么就说
* q7 Y- ~9 Z: W |. h我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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3 U& O% z$ X. V# @. f5 Y1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every : d/ P% ]8 B4 z6 @0 [
question.! M) U7 g; b3 t3 S" J/ A7 d
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)+ r* E8 z) q5 M" Q# I/ `1 ?) t7 w, {' t
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
" I, v7 D7 j4 v5 s+ q, Iwhat we do.
2 X) q+ f; |% c, P& F' WSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
a5 ]2 Q" x# T: {% R3 a( z0 {) C1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.0 P F, T+ E; ^7 F1 R2 r
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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. |+ C$ e/ Q5 Y' o1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.2 u3 ?& T4 [. X v/ X
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.) P- M# a* y- x! D# _ j
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
, ~! {/ p- M. k+ r' K0 pto act like soap opera guys.. t8 r$ M4 P( w! o
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们! s/ y' N1 C6 r& N4 ]
4 t: f7 s; _& L' V1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
# Q. g( ^3 c8 _1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 U x' a6 B' ?% S! ?3 g0 ]makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
5 ?- R, U/ u+ q# X6 M1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。, Q) e8 d6 K, ~: i+ D D
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)4 ]( Q. d+ G9 p: R5 v ^
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it4 u a/ P& d9 l. z5 f8 F
done. Not both.0 u2 y+ j* b4 A# v! m+ k
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself." G( o, F- L; ?; Y$ O* v6 Y! T
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during0 y4 U( ]& O( }: G) i$ ?2 s, J
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
" m# c$ @ J% T* h, ~Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.3 G9 _/ m' u: ]% H7 ~% Q
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that., e+ a1 T C A5 z5 S. ^! ]) M
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like) Q% l8 [" ^7 m# [! \
nothing's wrong.
/ |9 [1 e3 M* [; s! c. lWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.: T7 T V A$ d* @& I8 C/ B" q
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
% ]4 S+ ]4 X' U3 i. fyou don't want to hear.3 \0 m4 k, f% Z( V# N9 w) D
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is% g* m X7 ^2 I( w& M9 z+ ?
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
1 B9 o! k* z+ Jdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.. [( j5 k1 j# k) `6 k
( ^: R9 n% j% P4 C1. You have enough clothes.! }) C! F$ q0 u/ m/ i, e, }
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1. You have too many shoes.
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9 c v5 `! ^1 }$ N: x8 T# E1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.' U- D9 e/ e! o) }
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
; w4 T5 r4 Z* u, Z% r, R# {) _But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; _+ |- c+ z1 Z* c
9 D/ J x( t5 m- k$ M2 P! pPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. o5 @: h% X; R( v4 I' O; p/ o+ APass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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