 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
- i& f6 M. r+ O E: M& D7 j请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写4 W; f& c# u7 r5 d: J X
% u9 E2 i* l8 c- X1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.# ~* E" ~2 d$ F' |
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
6 W: E- U0 ]. [ f! j; m8 ddown.
) t% }( E N: sWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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5 r `8 D9 Y5 b5 r5 P$ u) }leaving it down.) t0 m1 Y& W) @6 e! U4 a, n/ E
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
9 K1 I: P( W! t( X# E$ cLet it be.
& ^6 D& i# `# A. {) {4 p1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去6 h9 }/ j1 l5 L/ Z6 B
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
0 z& ?4 r5 n+ I+ ~6 S$ L2 ~$ Zthat way.
+ _% u, k0 A" t7 q7 E1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！/ g( S- L# q' Q5 ~
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1. Crying is blackmail.5 p, w3 K3 x# q% `# }
1，哭泣是敲诈9 Q1 k4 _% {* y, b+ _0 q9 Z1 y/ P
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1. Ask for what you want.% I! W a* y$ |0 k5 k, s! T: P2 }: R
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!& h+ k8 C; _7 P0 d- p" f, e
Strong hints do not work! f$ m3 J5 O# h! `
Obvious hints do not work!
' l. H) @# Q9 U' I0 U$ P' JJust say it!' E6 z Q& S. Q6 F
1，你想要什么就说
8 j2 F# B6 n8 o+ o3 T* I我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！7 f+ b+ R$ [. }( M. q
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every , K; p0 z1 R- `: o
question.. v; {) k5 F: `. N4 |7 P
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）1 q ` I4 O( y. X
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's7 o& g4 F$ s, s( Q( k
what we do.( W+ L6 Y1 s- M$ l' N4 A9 H
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
" ?5 n5 n7 }# x1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
( k, F! }) J- e& R! o: v1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去5 R4 u. {( s- t- X5 J, w
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.8 s7 D0 B: [3 G
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
5 n. {. y8 u6 d/ h; o4 b我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us- n/ y! T) n! z: E
to act like soap opera guys.$ Z' A$ L% l; _
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们3 |/ t5 _7 B4 Y+ x7 ~% V% b5 N
( y- E, z' z1 `3 b ~2 r4 b1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
6 E8 W4 r' X8 Z& D7 O, v6 E) ~1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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7 Q' c+ Y* j/ {1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
+ ~- K/ L1 y( i* A4 ymakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
' @' e5 t$ I, P* ?' ?% J1 L1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
! N) J+ A5 W% j _: d/ E9 [1 F# u1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
; s) @" ?/ F! V- U1 t/ w+ r; Adone. Not both.
) _' Y' w; @$ K$ Z. |3 @4 qIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.7 K1 ?$ m( @; t- C9 N
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during. t3 F- \8 x3 J( W! _
commercials.
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4 [3 i! M$ ]+ t1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.0 F& v$ g0 j! Y1 ^) s* d I
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
. L* N. i+ s K1 L: M" ~& `2 ^Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.1 P" ^; k( A, E7 z6 K3 g
We have no idea what mauve is.
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5 ^7 t. A7 Q5 b( |3 x9 x/ j9 j, C1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.% M/ J% n: W9 k7 y1 u& `
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like0 ~: @" k! Y7 p7 Q3 u" O' D
nothing's wrong.3 o% T- T4 p; ?# j( f9 @
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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R2 T- g& x) n' q4 t+ ^( b1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer& F( V: K1 K5 @+ u7 V$ X
you don't want to hear.! X' k' j! i6 D. m$ G
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is% G4 w% S/ _/ F0 \$ w3 x$ n5 p
fine...Really.! j: z% O7 e5 D
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to( e, }/ d; ]8 }. K2 [) Z
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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) L9 L# Y. L* W0 Q+ [7 q1. You have too many shoes.2 J- }& m' s# O6 D; n$ z
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!% L: v" {& d+ h& {
: U2 i; j: D+ E, `" Q: I1. Thank you for reading this.
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* ^/ s) e8 Y: k. G) v: SYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
! \& {5 H) Q* C6 k8 W. O! W) ~8 JBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.* S; U! p9 B0 \- a
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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