 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# [% i1 M: _" Y% J5 T2 A
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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5 o( u( M9 ^* v, f1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
# l. R% b( ]% x! s& K1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it. u/ M6 T/ C% J, w; w- ^! i
down.
1 u, b9 l. u2 F: v: jWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
# p6 z$ M6 B/ U" _1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
" `2 M7 l; l8 gLet it be.
; A. ^2 g2 x4 ~+ p1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
; O( J( X4 ]8 W1 S- x+ Kthat way.
4 ~5 s5 @! A! A$ W+ n0 S4 f1 }% _1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.1 E# N: [( l: P. h' f# O: @
1,哭泣是敲诈- F- M* D: B5 g( `9 i; b
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1. Ask for what you want.* z5 f) }- p3 V# L6 J4 V" n
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!6 z3 g2 E! [7 X+ ]6 m! E
Strong hints do not work!, K4 d: Z, `( q
Obvious hints do not work!
# q; z; L! o+ r: l2 E( B8 @! s6 J8 {Just say it!2 N- U8 \+ C2 A$ A- A' Q
1,你想要什么就说5 c, q4 b6 w% z8 E! Q+ G0 F; R
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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; i$ u+ G: [0 o$ d) a6 e# x1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
& a, M8 U, q$ \1 H# _question. H+ V5 L$ Z% k' a) S
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's6 ^ a* j: m5 ^- w
what we do.
" @6 K {: o5 m- `/ `) W$ ISympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) R8 l' s/ a) S8 i9 B6 B# C
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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$ @7 \' c) i& o0 c$ J; r1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. b* x) H8 W( R& i# h: x
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.; O+ v0 f7 [, T/ _) L4 \0 Y' p7 n3 L' v
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.4 M# ^5 \ Y& b
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了. I& C$ C& Q, M. n0 s
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us! L) W. ~7 Y) y; j8 i; n
to act like soap opera guys.
4 G% a! t6 { o5 O0 u) Y1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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) T( a- E, I- r8 K1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.- H3 K& i! x& p9 Z% W+ [) [
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们+ R0 l( `% ^% d, C0 p( j
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways3 |' p- X4 [' H r
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one., T" s M# w' C
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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9 q5 g! g, F% ^" t9 r3 ^7 b) @" f(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)# `3 P+ c+ h# z) \
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
7 k- L! {+ _9 U; Odone. Not both.
- I2 w3 @% o, k- k+ H- CIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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_* I5 w& [2 I+ X, R1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
% C H- A4 B9 O. ~( `, Bcommercials.
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- d0 _% K* y- w) |& E6 {, e1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.9 N% o- G9 s: O# [
& F, q/ }; G- _6 `; f& |: c) W1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
* y% v5 E& @% w; ?9 Y' kPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.# N& o8 a* h2 j- T
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.* s9 m, X% A* [3 c3 ~
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, u) D- N4 S4 k0 \3 P
nothing's wrong.
! F% E* g2 s6 v" y- vWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.; A4 ~( L2 Q1 q9 b1 f4 e. X [
- h+ {% P8 \9 q1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer( _6 r& c F% S5 s
you don't want to hear.
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6 e2 m. M7 T0 d, M& k1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is* ]- o4 g: ?9 O* z1 {7 l
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
+ }8 @! h, {- T2 Tdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.- S; v$ A1 o2 s! D0 w' j) c
( K# y4 B; I( A5 Q3 q" t9 t1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.8 U {3 Z( s, e. W7 F
0 j8 m: c! j7 @0 [1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!9 ?: g2 c' l6 [' |- ?7 g) t
4 f# n3 J9 |5 l+ ^, P1. Thank you for reading this.: ?/ t( p3 A4 ^
) P# H" o( B( V; gYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 B4 e* H8 ]0 {* P; jBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.% }1 t5 J5 b( z9 H; `5 Z
" U" P1 p: C0 f0 |# ~( i) M$ gPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.; Y! ?3 q E9 |3 }( O( E
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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