 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
; I* G. Y4 @7 R# N. t" Q7 v# B" U- W( v2 v% I; V |; Z" H
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
3 _( A' l/ Q$ @$ k, V; A; @
: J% ?5 ]0 {! V% n; t8 q. U+ DI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. u5 Z$ y5 F( w
6 W$ {2 r1 j+ GI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
+ V! \1 ? j, c6 C, X' l% ?+ h7 [. E
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 u# X4 j; Q( D& ?1 P3 u4 e8 s
4 v" V: c* A( k9 Y/ ]7 q
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
5 Z$ d$ ~- }/ J9 j) e( z' V" ^
1 l7 P8 u8 P( ^1 n, ~3 tAnd the second one was:
7 n$ a6 z1 ]% Y* c. P# v& f! T) A" [, r
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"; n9 |/ h* |$ C- R
# g {& m2 f# R: u. zI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ i" U9 h) S4 D' D5 J' i( \
6 \- ]! y( Q; f/ Q"What is Roe vs. Wade?": r7 v% f/ u' G, F9 z
3 t1 J7 o" u9 g: N% e: }
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
; B$ ^, x1 i- @/ ^0 ?0 i( M4 F" u2 Q5 T9 h. Q
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!5 \, s/ g8 s! \0 w
9 n; x: L* P' F8 x1 \
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
4 ]; h- Q9 L6 ]) p V/ V! z0 B& B
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
& b- c4 Q( V2 f. N- A! \5 e$ [1 U3 t* O& c4 y
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
$ B0 ?/ _2 W8 ]! D1 n% T% |
/ X: x6 h- E; H, l; m QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
^, I8 s, ]+ j& h
9 X B3 J2 W% M5 G0 Z, GThank you very much!
' U$ p( x, h0 V7 R6 F! q5 M2 A" t- b9 ^# g: R$ I. M. i1 ^
==========================
" J% O& I0 e( @9 W$ M& ?
! y& f! E- `: D) }Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
& E8 b6 y# Q4 N/ v5 X0 y
2 }8 k) ^+ U5 L+ h1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
) O& o7 X2 A4 O/ z; u! ?- w! {9 l7 g$ \6 @- y0 q
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.) }* c7 ^/ @; D) ?; u) o
{5 l( j) `* T" L* t"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
; X9 D4 t( _5 n& n i Y2 K5 ?
' a2 l* u% n+ ?7 c- a$ BJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
) w* ^" y* Y3 k; l. g# Z+ e/ \ e' [! T; k) O' h6 T
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
4 N0 B) ]: l0 F; s5 ?9 M7 j
E, Y3 M7 S; H$ D" B7 `. ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|