 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 f7 t' s$ \2 b9 q) E$ S) A/ p
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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& t7 D+ }$ I, u( Z( S# qI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 W2 ]( o$ \7 @3 @5 Z' j+ T
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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# `6 @6 U& N) S& q5 O"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ C0 Z6 w" \2 g. Y6 }) c5 k; f4 R
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"& `8 r& r7 Q6 C& o
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 z3 |( Q" n) Q& d"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& T# @1 }( [7 l( b" P( M2 n( l7 Z
# j. N" P$ C9 y7 A) ?7 EI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- h: i5 E0 T8 Z7 l9 S( n( l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"; b; R3 m2 m! W/ l9 |) |: m
- L1 u) c1 x. \7 J( h' [Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 s( C' i- S) y5 i/ vThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 w8 f: V' Q, U+ j8 q2 Z5 f
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; h5 l2 P# D( L% B' z' j
6 @1 J2 D# U$ k$ m1 U& T1 f" q1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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N: J3 x( m5 X0 g" g2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 {4 P1 a7 c1 L+ `! D. t* V) ]5 F
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% M4 @" [. k7 c5 e$ [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ V$ s) x5 K" r: A6 R
. ^: l7 M/ t) p" w7 p5 w2 p. o+ ^Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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% e2 }8 [) @" ~: _% ?1 U% p3 JThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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