 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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' z' n* l+ n/ }1 N" ~4 j4 a% vI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.4 O, ]! _% T- b' V
8 k3 S6 I2 ]8 cI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- M4 r4 ^7 n j! h8 r7 ~- w: L# x! n7 A
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 @ |2 r2 C9 s+ J9 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 {, _2 L0 A$ I5 ~
f) i: }6 M- Y8 I4 `And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 C; z( r" ^+ h. f: A6 w# \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?- @- k5 g* ^* t8 d6 ^2 b, z
0 E* t' C/ F$ c: Q6 ?) A& CI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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6 S3 H* v9 h( e8 T6 V, u( m2 O3 N2 eI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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; s- c7 M4 \8 |So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( @; T# w0 o4 @. F- P) t9 A4 ~
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." B7 C$ {# k3 }0 f( Z
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Thank you very much!
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r R' I- l) C8 W7 g5 V Z# f L( @) mImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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" n- o# q9 f6 t0 }; A2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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" }$ k4 I$ E" i; `8 `) J5 u F9 k"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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& J L7 A* k8 [' Z5 ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.) [+ T1 Y( f/ h9 x* m
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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