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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ Q( ~$ y& X6 k; |6 f; c
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.' X! C6 q9 t' v/ d: ]5 |

! k) k0 ?$ u3 R  ]I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." j( A: b0 s4 k+ o% U( q: Z

+ f/ G: c8 j2 }2 V4 PI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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$ j1 u% H: B+ P3 l0 B8 r7 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 v6 Z, b4 O- O6 k' s1 `

: L8 U% I: I" d. w; hAnd the second one was:9 X- r1 t5 d# e* D$ |+ I
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"0 v$ u8 X( k0 g
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! @; |+ n/ W0 @( h8 M; V( H"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 g* _  L1 y: d2 a8 p) C3 I9 V9 L8 _' r% K
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, g( M' u9 B$ X. E# t. g

3 Y: i2 c' _. a$ jI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 m" E/ f8 I! N4 k+ V* s0 w6 y9 ~7 N
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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+ R5 Q9 q+ M" ~6 n* I( y! P' ^Thank you very much!
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- o9 p# W& D$ K9 q1 RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% }5 r6 O! }6 S3 ?3 j
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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& p7 ?4 d1 |# u2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., J  o' K2 f  k" M! ]- v

. s" Z# u+ A" x4 N0 P2 z! ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 r4 V. K0 Z& L" T6 hRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: ! {% r0 X- z$ g# S0 a
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
大型搬家
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。3 V8 h& l" J6 F8 L5 E+ j! B3 E
怎么理解?
* T4 W5 j3 e/ K0 B50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
/ @' W9 z! b# j' a8 y怎么理解?8 @1 p9 u9 ]5 q
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
! ~5 g3 Z% B5 k# C: Scyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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6 {$ i+ X) Y) i7 i我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳   J' c% y' c5 C+ E

3 h4 A9 c, p% p, d5 x8 b我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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