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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ F( @  S$ }) u

+ i3 o  v6 a% C6 F1 I3 M* k- x9 oI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.9 q7 ~- i6 z! J' r7 S* K+ t
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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  w8 @& x1 j- F: e6 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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  o1 q, ]. C0 R: S; \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% y- J4 R. A, Z! F

7 s4 @: h- l" n( x8 GAnd the second one was:% `- H# s; g6 a) y( a. K
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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  w8 A7 e6 [' g! g! K( ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, D' R: A$ r6 k$ y1 ?
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( j* |6 w* k) B
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 u! ~0 F" V  d. oNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.7 Q( A0 }+ ^2 x" e% s3 P7 S

+ j; Z' u" ~/ GThank you very much!; p) g3 j, |( Z+ ~3 r) o: V
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==========================
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9 G' r# l/ H& {) jImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 {- T% v/ O7 j7 D# k

) c/ P* B7 V1 L- p1 V1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; D' h1 M* A$ }8 p; E' n+ B$ e

% \9 k  |2 q( ?4 \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.- k1 ]- T4 e- {9 P! ?' c% t4 g
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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, d6 {( Z: k. W& M& R! S8 g, c" pRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 R& k1 f: r  t! W
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
( Q: h9 z% v/ d' n$ y  _' [/ ka young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。; }" {5 P. H# y2 r; d4 ]( j( s# g% U; j
怎么理解?! x; l& w3 L( z+ P0 {" L5 F& i) e
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
0 w% F1 }, d6 ~0 ?2 S7 O怎么理解?6 u9 d: S% V- a  Q& o" I$ j
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?* O4 n/ ]: _2 X0 k- ^5 U+ L$ h
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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