 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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% G0 |4 y9 M9 e6 A: {0 PI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 E I/ P( j/ }/ |4 O$ \, U
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) O; d) m) B r9 J6 c& Z
t9 s2 n4 Z c; kI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! A% W4 p/ b5 r) o e
* V1 W6 n! T/ z% f; d+ g"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 I/ ~: v# M; }2 t& w @I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* m1 k0 [; D& @6 v& XAnd the second one was:
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' m9 [7 J0 \* C7 @"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! S) V! ?( s: J* w+ B, g& A' I
! o" e5 o: c" J! P- k' WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 q# ]" v3 c. I% Z; f
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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2 h4 W0 X, E6 ?( BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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( _" g( |2 Y" |/ ]* L( W. [I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ T- F c* ?' i! q" l
; u5 j8 i: C- I4 M* xSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”! ~9 V: G, ~9 Z/ G! W
' u% @2 G: W0 e2 _# uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., ~3 T- J% ]8 ^; K! I% ^; w! S; Q
' r! @3 U* ~9 J0 _+ ^Thank you very much!: G3 C8 Z4 n5 |1 z! S% f" Q
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# W0 W+ c5 r3 G- K% uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 \2 i( U+ y: q, I( J1 R5 ^
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". b5 p4 Q( O$ I! E
; b4 i: ?* A& k' K: N0 bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ _0 ~, J- S' g- ?3 b9 i
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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