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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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% G0 |4 y9 M9 e6 A: {0 PI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 E  I/ P( j/ }/ |4 O$ \, U
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) O; d) m) B  r9 J6 c& Z

  t9 s2 n4 Z  c; kI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! A% W4 p/ b5 r) o  e

* V1 W6 n! T/ z% f; d+ g"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 I/ ~: v# M; }2 t& w  @I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* m1 k0 [; D& @6 v& XAnd the second one was:
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' m9 [7 J0 \* C7 @"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! S) V! ?( s: J* w+ B, g& A' I

! o" e5 o: c" J! P- k' WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 q# ]" v3 c. I% Z; f
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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2 h4 W0 X, E6 ?( BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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( _" g( |2 Y" |/ ]* L( W. [I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ T- F  c* ?' i! q" l

; u5 j8 i: C- I4 M* xSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”! ~9 V: G, ~9 Z/ G! W

' u% @2 G: W0 e2 _# uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore., ~3 T- J% ]8 ^; K! I% ^; w! S; Q

' r! @3 U* ~9 J0 _+ ^Thank you very much!: G3 C8 Z4 n5 |1 z! S% f" Q
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# W0 W+ c5 r3 G- K% uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.1 \2 i( U+ y: q, I( J1 R5 ^
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".  b5 p4 Q( O$ I! E

; b4 i: ?* A& k' K: N0 bRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ _0 ~, J- S' g- ?3 b9 i
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
& H* |" F+ I3 S/ N# ?# pa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
- S# @  d2 n% g; ^9 n怎么理解?- y- T2 E5 S) y  M
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 0 h3 \# S" C' r" N/ u9 e% H6 I

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- g4 ]& ~5 M8 A4 j- O# Y不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
2 o/ o  O& I, k9 ^5 G) Z1 c怎么理解?" N0 J+ ~' X/ ~! a. p
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
: J3 Y2 g0 |. S4 L  A3 L$ {cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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