 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ F( @ S$ }) u
+ i3 o v6 a% C6 F1 I3 M* k- x9 oI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.9 q7 ~- i6 z! J' r7 S* K+ t
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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w8 @& x1 j- F: e6 y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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o1 q, ]. C0 R: S; \I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% y- J4 R. A, Z! F
7 s4 @: h- l" n( x8 GAnd the second one was:% `- H# s; g6 a) y( a. K
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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w8 A7 e6 [' g! g! K( ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, D' R: A$ r6 k$ y1 ?
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( j* |6 w* k) B
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 u! ~0 F" V d. oNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.7 Q( A0 }+ ^2 x" e% s3 P7 S
+ j; Z' u" ~/ GThank you very much!; p) g3 j, |( Z+ ~3 r) o: V
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9 G' r# l/ H& {) jImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 {- T% v/ O7 j7 D# k
) c/ P* B7 V1 L- p1 V1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; D' h1 M* A$ }8 p; E' n+ B$ e
% \9 k |2 q( ?4 \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.- k1 ]- T4 e- {9 P! ?' c% t4 g
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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, d6 {( Z: k. W& M& R! S8 g, c" pRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 R& k1 f: r t! W
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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