 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ Q( ~$ y& X6 k; |6 f; c
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.' X! C6 q9 t' v/ d: ]5 |
! k) k0 ?$ u3 R ]I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years." j( A: b0 s4 k+ o% U( q: Z
+ f/ G: c8 j2 }2 V4 PI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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$ j1 u% H: B+ P3 l0 B8 r7 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?4 v6 Z, b4 O- O6 k' s1 `
: L8 U% I: I" d. w; hAnd the second one was:9 X- r1 t5 d# e* D$ |+ I
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"0 v$ u8 X( k0 g
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! @; |+ n/ W0 @( h8 M; V( H"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 g* _ L1 y: d2 a8 p) C3 I9 V9 L8 _' r% K
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!, g( M' u9 B$ X. E# t. g
3 Y: i2 c' _. a$ jI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 m" E/ f8 I! N4 k+ V* s0 w6 y9 ~7 N
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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+ R5 Q9 q+ M" ~6 n* I( y! P' ^Thank you very much!
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- o9 p# W& D$ K9 q1 RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% }5 r6 O! }6 S3 ?3 j
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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& p7 ?4 d1 |# u2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., J o' K2 f k" M! ]- v
. s" Z# u+ A" x4 N0 P2 z! ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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8 r4 V. K0 Z& L" T6 hRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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