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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 f7 t' s$ \2 b9 q) E$ S) A/ p
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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& t7 D+ }$ I, u( Z( S# qI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 W2 ]( o$ \7 @3 @5 Z' j+ T
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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# `6 @6 U& N) S& q5 O"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ C0 Z6 w" \2 g. Y6 }) c5 k; f4 R
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"& `8 r& r7 Q6 C& o
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 z3 |( Q" n) Q& d"What is Roe vs. Wade?"& T# @1 }( [7 l( b" P( M2 n( l7 Z

# j. N" P$ C9 y7 A) ?7 EI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- h: i5 E0 T8 Z7 l9 S( n( l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"; b; R3 m2 m! W/ l9 |) |: m

- L1 u) c1 x. \7 J( h' [Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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5 s( C' i- S) y5 i/ vThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 w8 f: V' Q, U+ j8 q2 Z5 f
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; h5 l2 P# D( L% B' z' j

6 @1 J2 D# U$ k$ m1 U& T1 f" q1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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  N: J3 x( m5 X0 g" g2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 {4 P1 a7 c1 L+ `! D. t* V) ]5 F
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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% M4 @" [. k7 c5 e$ [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ V$ s) x5 K" r: A6 R

. ^: l7 M/ t) p" w7 p5 w2 p. o+ ^Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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% e2 }8 [) @" ~: _% ?1 U% p3 JThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
* a6 [. f# P5 b' F4 @" fa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
# s0 Z; ]" ^, @" ~- }+ }# N3 z  c0 R怎么理解?5 @. m" h: B. z( L* O
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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4 N3 Q. {  v1 D$ {8 o8 K/ R* }( C/ d不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。+ l) L4 M* P: ?9 P. B) k7 x7 r
怎么理解?
7 J5 h0 G/ E: f+ F2 S( B3 B9 W50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
! Y3 p5 W- m/ F$ w' ecyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 9 s; j" R) n' Z3 ^( Q: Y3 [: u

8 E5 ~- L9 b. {& _" g. u我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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