Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* \4 D- T% G! ^: r: l- _" Y- TMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- _, M7 k% K. VJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! W8 u. z( h+ Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 Q) W9 z2 ^( A* W4 kCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 |4 c! A2 R) ?' \) Lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, z; b8 G( I0 i* Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

) W$ b4 M! o0 |, O2 fRESPONSIBILITIES:
) i" K2 V' B6 `+ l( oThe rest of your life.
# G6 T& [  }, hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* [' C1 v; {) D( Euntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# P, Q' ]9 _" V; c1 u3 a; {: Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 G* D1 I/ ^1 y8 cand stuck zippers.
) G1 n7 A! o* H3 jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ y: w- I# ^4 k: J" ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% Y! N  l- @6 ?' e- S7 PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% k4 s( K- W0 {) q/ {" A( pan embarrassment the next.
  N2 w& t$ T5 O) v0 sMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: [9 P& |9 b7 d7 a8 AMust assume final, complete accountability for
( u5 Z" |. {1 ?& d8 g3 M' E6 s: \) _4 ythe quality of the end product.
; x, V6 I  l, c' bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' @: @, L5 ^0 d, m* ?- D0 rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( q. p- i3 @! C5 K/ dNone.
- `3 ~; C; ]$ F6 s* `8 u9 r1 A. HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 y4 a) A9 l& _. Y7 owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 l4 o2 n1 X/ F1 v% }2 bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 i4 j9 J! D. O6 u, F; Xcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ i' w% Q8 H6 F  h( hNone required, unfortunately.
5 E6 j% u  l% w4 IOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- u  ~3 P, C1 K% ?% C: VOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
0 _8 r% ^' x1 W: e. B% tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 H1 R+ n6 n+ l9 J% H# \The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 @) B4 |: C- D- V# C3 l! u$ Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 f- ?2 b, I6 G
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; s% _5 |9 R0 }! H6 d8 L, `7 e* A! Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) g1 v1 s, ?+ mno stock options are offered,
" B$ _6 `; I7 j1 A, \* dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* X9 l/ m+ J4 k5 e2 F  @1 W  B& }
+ |7 c" ^9 ^! W$ D& rfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
' I" k, z8 B/ V6 H$ P- T3 nor forward with love
+ H' o; `& z7 ~. Uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.