Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 S, c# F+ _' E  m! F0 g) l! Y8 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: A4 }  K' J: V* G/ ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
2 M/ B; J8 N: p& J

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" H; K; Q+ B- W8 ~( o# [. ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 ~4 n. `6 w# F1 `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) f! p8 L, H# t4 iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 x; M2 [' e& B4 J" f  l. x3 Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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# o* m# R8 q$ O' o; CRESPONSIBILITIES:
5 j) s3 m7 G. g  `  a% mThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 M- V- q* `% o& M7 g1 E4 Buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 y4 e9 W' Z+ ?1 T* n# ?- gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 J( V8 D9 f" L; kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) i- d1 O  H2 Nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ w, n, l/ R( qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 J% R3 i, P: YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( u( h, u: B- S" OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 A+ |% y7 }: Z6 L4 S6 S" Q7 _( {an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% t0 ~# X$ z, |' `: Mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 _( F' G1 P6 ?4 u4 J7 Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 B. u8 m" J% F5 S! R% iNone.
3 S8 b5 h3 d& O: c; a. N# MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 r* L* b, i! L  B0 E' A: z4 Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  C) v+ v& X# c3 mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* O6 T& y/ |( v1 Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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5 i) [3 C) I  E1 s1 BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ g; Y6 c1 g5 @/ O3 ~- lNone required, unfortunately.
" V! o: Q0 c- {$ W) p7 D- F' m' [1 tOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& G# j! M; I2 |5 HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 B( V6 ^7 n7 M& J5 z- {* o6 ?$ YBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ Z6 A9 t' \: t! F0 mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' s3 p2 x# S8 V% x# _
; `$ I2 N! l3 D" _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 W" E' F9 V& V+ b" x
for life if you play your cards right.


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" @! O3 [: n$ |: t' ~1 \
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& I1 R2 `* F' h4 w% gor forward with love
* Q) S: X1 L5 bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.