Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


" w2 ^& x! B9 D0 c  S3 [; q, ]JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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1 K. B9 a; Z; k+ \permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 c5 c; t" e7 _2 k+ k* k+ Tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 h2 Q, o5 u' ~3 [( E" _9 y: jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; a, N+ d: d1 d" i; B/ }; \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) a1 W; F4 x3 b( NTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- y; o9 }& H* w6 R0 N1 M5 R; NExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 F# j. ~6 K: S0 e* `The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ w" t- F. l: _4 funtil someone needs $5.
) W; S" M% w. C4 m- e' tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. ^; T) x. F8 @in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 `- n6 j' ^0 A  E" H5 EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 C% w5 @; l+ y0 N' B+ |* msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# Y. m/ D9 Q, bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 ~- m! y0 t" ?  X: }* s, n! x8 f. Man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ J- m' u+ c  D$ nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" E& `* P) T! mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( g$ z! a* j7 `5 Y/ O- Uthe quality of the end product.
! Y9 K6 Z! w+ A! ^* u+ i8 ]Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 {4 x- g" w7 n3 p" WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; r; X- a& a, s+ t; l0 |1 B% DNone.
3 W! \2 P, m6 W3 I+ o( L9 P" x1 |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. D" R! B3 F/ b0 U; T9 Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( g2 @0 I- @; HNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% d1 j6 l& K1 s* `+ J; W6 nof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 ?4 D5 ]: U  iWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 J* x% D0 }" ?) n+ r4 I2 dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, ]3 D- E$ K' N* Nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* ^/ [' D1 r3 s5 |% w
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
2 w9 t& o& |" |
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 G% y1 u5 k( ?! t# @) s! IForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
( y0 b! w5 J- I2 y, pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
' I7 Z5 B: C4 _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.