Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 Q) H1 I& s: J  c" SMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% K% K5 ^! a8 H& G7 O3 j  @1 l' d) qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% M: J. V3 P( K" B, iLong term, team players needed for challenging,

! N/ W" M) k5 j  v; F( vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 q5 X8 g4 A+ T9 I0 KCandidates must possess excellent communication
+ i2 e1 ]4 r+ V2 z/ I; {- Y& |$ _8 @and organizational skills and be willing to work
# Z" ]6 D) B7 a( @% I, k: d8 tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
2 l/ z6 k2 t; S6 [9 iExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 x( ~3 \3 K# hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 {" T7 C3 P: e6 ?! muntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" Q: g2 |: N, QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ f+ f, @  h1 k5 Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 \+ u4 B* M6 c( o9 j' f' u6 mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  |9 R  p% @2 A3 e' B* FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* t( `, W1 H' y+ a( X  DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# j  ]- Z) K( V" k, P6 Ean embarrassment the next.
9 p0 }5 h" |( h& RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 ?2 Z* E3 f+ ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
/ W3 n5 x8 w& L' X% S, }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) i- v4 P% B& d/ ?  }8 Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 f9 m$ ]7 j7 R! GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 S* s% c& R% l: HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# r) O  E7 w8 J+ M$ [$ z1 }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 E! Z( N  m  B" K) c* jcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 @% O. E7 c: RNone required, unfortunately.
( s% x* a/ M3 V5 t# r  u& @1 UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* f, l. K; p) u3 L7 N7 u* KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 }  \( Y! M/ H  y9 U7 `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, T, d" j3 {- u; O/ u/ M# Z5 }, Aof the assumption that college will help them
$ @/ o2 b$ W6 U/ xbecome financially independent.
9 F0 |( o8 z& J# EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( [( e  S9 [' i' jno stock options are offered,
+ l; C9 ]) O+ M3 qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 G) c- _) @7 `) M' o' d# t8 u- Wfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 U5 h8 D+ c$ s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
/ e( P4 b* I/ J7 bor forward with love
, f7 {6 u9 I2 R3 ~: uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.