Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 P8 ~5 Q: l& l6 x: g& @  PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! i# i/ A5 y! ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) Q) _" Y$ _; VCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 j+ V/ T. M& i% |9 ]( L8 s; Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: ~% Z% k2 V8 m" j. Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
0 t) [- L7 X( A" P
RESPONSIBILITIES:
" V4 }! K1 _" s# v) [9 S& sThe rest of your life.
" X4 C5 ^8 E- s. b2 I3 _4 G( e8 hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
$ ~2 J( b  U9 Y# R, _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 A9 I; y0 n8 K5 rAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 F( S- P* ?3 r8 band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% y7 z+ Y1 E0 [6 ?1 Y0 O+ Bin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' k2 L0 Z+ L) o7 Q; H' VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% ~* k, @; {* P1 Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 O" g  c$ N6 |- e. _1 qMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! ]1 A  G8 b9 ^8 k: L; }! rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 H; l& T2 Q7 \1 k/ athe quality of the end product.
: {4 ?" N- F% v0 b3 kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' j  b: V+ R, ^% f6 w, ?6 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" Q" l, J5 a) D+ g, ^8 Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 z/ k( c8 n. d5 H8 D& u2 kcan ultimately surpass you.

0 J% }7 \/ W6 v0 L/ c! h
$ E% _0 `+ m) ~3 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# {9 p, E8 f3 `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 H) d; i# m/ M# \1 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! j9 _2 l7 }6 g& z3 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' _, l; R) @8 ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
) g/ h6 |; C9 X- Jbecome financially independent.
$ q) p8 H8 q6 Z" ?0 b8 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; R0 b# ?& }1 h4 G/ s" e3 n5 Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
2 I- O( a; I+ Q; M1 y4 ]3 X, {6 k
+ [8 f, D' v5 |) R7 s4 c$ iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( W+ r1 [0 p' p, [) S
for life if you play your cards right.

6 ^& D4 Q7 C; f$ `7 D1 K4 t
3 P+ O2 C% p6 J5 k; ?  F% T
! [! H0 Z) `# ?% V' `
9 Q$ y  z; t% H0 w, j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
! v. c# {* Q- x! R
/ R4 h4 D& n8 n7 K. i4 |. ?

( D$ s3 Z; M: o4 G# u: jForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 f. D! F* B* t' sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, H$ `/ A8 o0 R) Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.