Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 G- S7 m5 }3 SJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 V9 ~3 K( n( W% W& ?& P9 aLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ O/ O! |! P* \" fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 e( l4 O6 X3 N/ I! \7 G. o8 h' Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ W+ J- a9 Y- V- ZThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! V2 ?2 t; {# Luntil someone needs $5.
, A% ~. Q4 ]. B1 f' MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( `; o; g% C" B" V% n7 IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
  c+ m. w# d0 ~2 ^9 s9 l- R* W/ bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 Q6 l3 Y3 B7 a, k" _4 k3 D4 ^( Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* {" T; V) t7 W1 PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, F4 B0 i1 E7 x/ k: y5 _Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 z! i8 q* ]  X# uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, F$ J3 L4 X8 o* F7 ]7 O& J1 ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 K7 Z1 P: \, k$ S' e! i- X$ XNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


4 e! Y" ?& O( yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
6 }/ C2 J9 r5 @; B+ hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

: I7 ^4 S8 u& \* L; [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: b+ z1 V' N' MGet this! You pay them!
0 v  W* K4 L# L; |# mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 s* t3 R! W6 Q. n! \. lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% e4 V( S: J: Y: {7 T' G( lBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  u' t1 l1 b( D1 [( `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" I) E- a5 k: Z) ~9 Y+ I& ~3 qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

8 z$ r$ t7 z# zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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  W/ T. z! A# t% u( X** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 B3 h, B1 P: N+ n5 sletting them know they are appreciated
1 T, _$ T, S5 \for the fabulous job they do...
' Y' T4 ~1 E: Por forward with love
1 U+ p; `- U0 _to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.