Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 r8 Y0 U8 |2 L, b9 T- F% AMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 Y3 z$ _9 Q  z+ e) ~! zLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: V. h' y% T" s5 Land organizational skills and be willing to work
4 i' e9 O) X+ v( [: L3 S) ]# fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# w4 b5 j7 H' g' B  _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 ?* r; e5 \' J8 W$ D! u9 c; ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
% Y& ]% Q3 z  @/ Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- I* d  s9 ^  A5 j5 k: q) g6 iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
" V2 Z7 I2 ?) r% ?Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! G; c5 y8 G$ G2 ~. T/ T# oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! O4 @3 U# I9 v6 M! Bin case, this time, the screams from
0 {' S" e6 u- B' w* cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* u+ c; u2 k/ R0 r4 }" Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 w2 B/ Q# T4 y, Y. W9 xMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  y  \( x. s: B- ^* n+ R" }* x0 VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 j5 ^' W+ ~1 e9 hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 H# H. A; Q4 S$ E" O4 h( oYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
, T% \- @5 X2 h* f; H8 Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. A, y" Q  B6 t4 f3 B, M" }/ gNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 d/ A+ A  s6 S7 T4 D- o9 cGet this! You pay them!
5 a- Y1 H- D! n# d5 }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 c3 P0 n8 I8 c( l/ v! Y  g7 m+ ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; V# w+ l: F7 \The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ x4 y) I( T6 ?4 [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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; G0 b7 W  V$ f0 W** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 E9 ^: B  c7 T" M- H1 Hletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: H% C- r0 o+ u0 C% d- @9 Uor forward with love
; _6 r9 }' [0 oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.