Crazy English! Zt

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3 Z# t" K, C' B$ s5 D( K: hCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

# X: F- x% Q, g9 UOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

* j$ T! W1 Y& q: b9 |If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

, @- ]+ U7 J& X: C; _4 A7 W( XIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

6 `3 F; y  j9 s7 dThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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3 M* A1 H: p! P2 K: h" {& `/ oThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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0 n& h; @5 d- \8 B" L# h+ lLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

1 W6 O- U0 S4 V& k% wThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

" ]3 K2 F5 G  a' n+ H9 t1 w0 Z: eDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

3 L- t: }2 _; p) I3 xIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

6 P! B# O( p* |$ {) sIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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  C. h7 B( A' Y) K. Q  JShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

$ m4 s7 v0 d- mHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

: ^: Q& G6 R* h/ L: cYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

' N# m) X- h7 b# O& f2 dSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane