Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

2 ]" s. W8 N5 N+ u4 ZWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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( x* u& e& Z4 m* M  X! {6 aIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

/ M) K, ^" P& _( t$ kThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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) _; A3 _. J* k% C- ?9 YWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

" Y+ r& Y5 U& r2 A3 \# |4 ELet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

, v6 L) I; q" G% m% VIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

1 y2 X/ k( t$ iIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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* P" T+ r" {: [* F9 vShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

: g0 N& s$ e4 |% j: KHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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- Z1 G; {6 T& x' e5 HHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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$ v, Y" B/ e3 I2 Z' J, Y+ AYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
* A0 H6 N. @6 @$ A9 cHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane