Crazy English! Zt

victorw

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. [  @3 s. |1 b( W8 ?# k7 fCrazy English!

, R5 `4 a( \& b1 _We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

$ V8 y0 m; N4 H3 FYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

. h% v' c$ a7 K2 B( Y) {# iIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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( @6 K& p  R5 v1 [1 R: yIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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2 l% z7 Z" z8 l+ T) x1 qWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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' C. R' G, y; c& ~6 @There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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; V- d6 i" _8 q5 Q/ CAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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7 R' q' x/ Y! z* K$ o. W0 c3 M% s0 QDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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6 k! S7 R7 s# x7 cHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
% h* M2 L- m% ^/ t4 |0 f- I5 GHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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6 M/ k: w3 Y6 o& J2 QSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane