埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 5022|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
' {3 m8 R+ y+ O2 h7 CBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
. C) I8 c* d6 ~# HBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 8 T% A. P( M" k
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
" ^" h0 `5 T$ V8 b5 o& U5 Jflock, will you give me one?"
5 w% Z6 @! D% J4 I! ]
$ m; t, I- c4 {  HThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
9 c% C8 B9 w  M! Q  {peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
3 ^$ P# f0 l) Y& K3 w" Y" z- P( c+ @
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
# I" o" m9 }- J) z1 @# e4 I5 Kcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 1 I. e7 e0 D, {
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
* R, M( D6 N& \6 W& {( v; pand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
  _( k" D# {0 o) c( l# ^Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out . {/ t# b+ E, B! U1 i8 i% W& ~" P+ _
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and % u6 C! k! n% ~4 O. P3 Q
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".( v5 D3 ~1 \9 h/ r: M/ m1 ]
8 x8 Y  X4 }& p5 ], G9 P3 E
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
; m7 T4 V2 \' V" d. N4 H% f; [$ c9 K; p8 z3 g. N
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
& c! ]) u" N! f( c2 ecar.
4 J% o# K# B4 B* [8 Q. g0 q# n6 ~% ~0 l
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
3 e) _$ @$ K" F* C! K/ p7 vis, will you give me back my animal?"
8 L2 h( v8 Q+ T- ?* D( o% d& w6 j2 N( ^4 G6 m& i( Y0 |$ u: {1 K
"OK, why not" answered the young man.9 w5 ]/ |5 {0 c0 C; Z3 B. k1 [! W1 \

$ C. Z1 S$ k% C$ o! z1 X"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
; j' W) u0 o' Y* n6 ^) w/ {+ }' e+ p! s# ^: k8 S9 R& \
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
- E. w  E' B9 T7 C
+ C$ k! E1 Z; a! \, B"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - s/ v1 l& s0 I# m4 R
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
0 @/ }9 O' I4 W4 P4 ~) wquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
; Y6 M  h7 i" n' ime back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is . `8 S2 X3 B2 {% S) n
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 3 ^2 c0 R; k; ]3 e% A" j
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ' _" s5 i9 |" x% W/ D
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
) t$ O& h7 A5 s% mwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
- q( R" d' w: ?% f6 I4 S3 Pinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
0 [  a: J+ u1 f3 a0 Fher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 3 v4 I. P  q" B3 N* e0 x/ z2 i5 m
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
2 _% J( s+ U" r# p& K0 mresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle . W+ W& @' @- G8 z7 q: T
bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, W: c- T* ~% \8 u9 c4 awhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
9 I! z; w0 f3 {' f% n' e! ~7 ^
. m# O4 `+ v0 n& k+ ~The first man married a nurse. ! g# u; [  I: h0 _

# ?# K- Q  k- X) i; `Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. * D% C  B  [* [% }4 y: q! Q) p
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
5 h9 y2 y9 m" K- g# q: Y/ e5 s# d( x1 k
The second man married a telephone operator. * I+ b9 j9 b% r4 y

3 C0 k- B2 j! q. JDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
# I* x' Y& V+ T9 M) yTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
4 Y9 H4 y5 h9 x5 @# a7 mbutton...A-bomb.?
6 B/ A# \" k8 n7 G% y5 [- y$ W# j/ ]! V
The third man married a school teacher.
- A9 h- @7 s: J: M
3 Q" R$ ?2 ^: ]Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 6 O% g$ A( o( j4 v9 w& A0 N
but teachers are just too frigid".
1 u" `% z3 l+ J% Z7 K' g% ]3 }! v5 P- m: b8 ^2 r5 K( \
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected , W  b0 y7 {) ]/ Z/ I! ~8 x  y7 [
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
# f8 p4 \& j( _would call much later in the day.7 c+ q& i0 o4 A0 O) F
4 G3 p  ]: r: R1 I" d5 {' H$ I
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The * t- a6 m7 J7 d
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's , G5 ?! n' u2 E  {; c
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. / R$ S! p" u8 n( D' \/ j
% _* I! _- ?" j% |/ r
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.( K4 o7 f5 d; w' D& e! j/ [
$ j2 `: |5 ]$ d+ e! c. b) d
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night : w# P0 n6 A4 k& q: C2 E
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.") Q" ?1 z' |- S. @6 y$ J$ j

0 |' b! h. V2 z. a0 H- `At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.$ _; X5 m' D0 b/ g- A$ w
: `: C- U# n2 ?+ x8 k( i
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
0 ?7 X) h( A) M' {; cas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back # P7 l% [( w  a; `9 Z/ h7 N
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
+ o! y& \% G6 D) G& h- s1 P2 i  \( V: C& y- d3 `2 l: q0 j
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
- u* r% H& L( K4 T) _# ^8 Ptheir voices." / w, G/ v6 h' q4 j1 y
, f- h, B; o: n
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I . e* O$ g8 e: R7 g, P8 q2 s+ H/ X
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
, {; s- \5 S3 A; z! H6 [) Sthree minutes are up." , \5 X) r+ h5 Y1 @' _! y
( L/ H: G6 S6 x6 S9 w0 F6 T5 Q. E
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
* _. Y, L% _6 kcalling any minute.+ n. Z- G2 c. u/ c1 h0 m
# f/ c5 F9 u  w% |4 K' J
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.8 `4 J# w$ V8 {7 e) d0 S% A
( O  n6 s9 [. R9 E( f. Q3 a
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
  }" |& i8 x$ n0 t8 Dman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
7 I8 V( Q+ d5 W( \, g+ W& Mhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
3 u# V: I& c& z3 V) flegs.
0 }7 d& {& ]: [; A' G
: u- [: \# G* B2 k' j. ~0 DJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ) J& o. d* f  _9 ?
fight?" , L8 o) k" V; q6 i" a

' ~: u% y4 y* }* {; AThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry $ J  W7 q$ q- S
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
$ Y  @! O4 R9 }/ Qare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-7-29 00:39 , Processed in 0.089466 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表