Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

sweetspot

LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
) F+ o2 {7 N5 h+ }  [' S> > > >
> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
& x# x5 U" {* b6 ~0 M. U5 Z> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
) c* u% l% n* T- n, d/ e) s6 F0 k4 o> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
4 T: s& \7 v2 t>thinking."
. v8 p: F& }7 q) u7 [> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
. E/ }. G) |  m: I! W+ _> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
( M' x. S4 [+ g3 ^4 ^9 V9 v>
+ d+ O( W4 S) G4 _# w/ e> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
9 d: \% P$ \4 q>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
. ~$ O0 c6 ]0 x  j> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
" F5 @9 k& |$ T- _) @$ g> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
' w" B, |2 K; Z> > > >
; W; [+ W9 G3 Q# ~; g, o2 R0 Y> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
7 S7 ~, K3 C% i4 r5 @- m4 _2 F> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
; F+ V5 V" ]+ |; W. P3 g> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
. S5 e, @0 ?8 s8 t" H- O% r> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
" u3 \7 O1 u+ b- H4 E* e> > > >
8 `9 Y# I  J, E  x/ ^> > > >
  s- @) E. u) s2 a3 i> > > >
; w8 G) N- ]$ S! b$ t> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
2 V; i2 b3 t- n6 G7 d> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
) H8 K7 f8 t' b7 V" W- |* V> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
* t, `+ v" @; x* F. [: R> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
" M7 T7 H9 t5 M> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
- D4 |& l+ l/ P/ s+ [" [+ H: y> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
0 R: O, b4 T( p' C# u> > > >allow
& a4 {0 V) s% ?* {2 C5 K2 y> > > >you to go."
& w8 F7 O  L/ |# ]% k$ g. R. p> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
+ `7 }" ~# p% V! S/ w; W* P> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
) u: @- r& E6 E1 r' F> > > >
> > > >
5 \9 e2 f- _' J% }# w8 M. O> > > >
: N  b9 i1 o: [1 C- A# V> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
7 w& J" U( P8 |' e! W; j> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
: b/ W( ]0 K& z& _( e> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
" _/ b3 a3 [) E6 y# s8 ]) _- |> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
; E* x1 c% E- {! n) z. d: Y. E2 e3 v* p> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
4 w  @. [& a  R% f! I. X> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
1 k# o0 {# F; x$ L> > > >
. t0 `3 o9 y$ C> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
( O! ?, W# h, U% C* d  @> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
* s! K+ R( d0 _, z; b7 o> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
/ X0 ~. E0 {+ t  \> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business