 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
: w% k! t |9 r5 n% N0 n7 O' p$ |0 ]" g
+ M# m( j5 N, n2 n: f1 Y$ s
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------6 y7 }& v$ W# X0 j" ?
/ S# o# E! V3 d5 c. P3 G( k6 g: L3 |3 C+ _. Z ^# s
" ~7 N2 e2 Q) v
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks." B- ~% e. Z! } l
# q) J2 C: M0 j8 X' UWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , N/ j" _5 A! u! A$ @
' V" K8 R: F. W* A' ]If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
9 ~' a0 `) M0 Z7 L9 d3 s) e E; A6 K! t, q( a- ~1 T3 w
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + T& d1 {: O/ U8 v
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 `' t. }6 s) f
* l( I3 u) j. P% [' u
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * p7 D" l, I: u
: X- E4 v1 _# N ~0 \) R' R# d/ X
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " D3 v# l$ S. ^5 \+ A0 [! R
/ n& z" H0 e# k' Y7 U! _
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.) Q, c( A, C& n6 q
' |6 x' ]( Q: U9 F5 r3 e- G
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
- I6 Q5 v( _2 `6 ]9 @% E3 n# K2 S/ U2 N9 n1 K0 G
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / N7 @. f/ C7 w1 P7 P6 R0 B; X
e! K) A$ V- F
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
1 D# w' n( b: X
9 T" J+ P! S" M: K4 T/ V+ X) DRinse conditioner off hair.6 F4 v2 c% y; ]5 f2 [& x' [
7 S) C3 k0 m* _0 b. N; X/ aShave armpits and legs.
7 ~3 J# Z2 I! A6 a* C* K, j! {; A
0 B3 ^7 p1 P) A1 DTurn off shower.
) H3 f1 a7 X: f& e/ Q# C. E5 |, C4 b3 @7 X2 H' T
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
) r- W `( Y$ V% E, D8 ^- n' U. r% C" E l" d5 Y) c( [: ]
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
2 r/ R1 F9 U. B. b2 q& s; r) a; Y; t3 N+ S8 W. f: L7 k
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; A# @, ~3 h+ s9 G$ ~
7 a7 [! t3 {3 L- N3 w; NWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
9 Z5 X, K! Z1 t) C2 ?' \4 |' D
* W" D2 i! c8 _5 y0 qReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. & t% m! ^, ~$ Q0 y% X: f0 E
# ^' e" v# e C1 I H6 {2 B6 V/ d
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 Q# v& c5 V: i. X- A8 ~5 L
6 j* l P: s- e- l1 d4 Q' h
$ o& S) j; ?* X2 w, u% v
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , k) C6 n3 o/ \( n
; V- K$ ~. w' x* N; A$ |Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 b' ^3 d1 j2 ^9 B3 R
6 T5 u" R/ v1 f) |8 ^Walk naked to the bathroom.+ U( ~! Y1 u' C6 b3 H3 g& k2 [& ?
( b4 e8 g3 o! g& x/ _) GIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " u0 l1 m: `/ q- J! \2 {. ~
) Z7 v5 c- ?$ [4 Y- A0 a# F
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
$ r6 i1 U9 _" {: S6 p. l6 e6 S
S2 M1 ]: ^5 }- ^4 w% R8 t% `3 |Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
" A) ]! l9 f' Q* H: B
, L$ g) w" f+ V0 mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
5 `- L4 F3 \- W: T9 w. X9 c
; o3 }, J' I: p* q* KBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! n* f' y' N% v3 `
; F4 i" ?) o( R* }! w1 l: Y8 s# BFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 1 p! \1 H1 m" y
3 d6 q$ U& Y: Y* t5 }! n6 \, d
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 ~# _; m% C/ l8 o9 o
9 }4 ^+ ]; n# `; k3 N3 n, |1 p8 V
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. , E, |$ s& t* @- ?' K% C8 `
+ \1 ]3 n4 L: u [5 O n# I
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
1 U4 r( e ?1 q! S+ C( _- }, R8 Z! o% W5 l5 p- H8 f
Pee.
' a3 g o- Z, H& F% b+ M9 Y* b
. a1 J0 }' a" e+ A& Z* T( ERinse off and get out of shower.
+ q0 O+ ?4 Z3 Y, \$ r
, k0 ?7 L4 m pPartially dry off.
# i8 J6 J' R" ^8 z5 j
2 K0 V7 [" [( ^' c( t. T, xFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( X _0 F8 `8 K" o
9 }5 U' \* ?1 SAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
6 {/ j) \+ W( i# M
, a5 R& l+ d- M5 |8 A' MLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ( ~6 \# C; w7 X
) e1 e& l4 R) h2 |: w% k9 c
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) X) f. |, C- x) h- y* d9 e1 n
1 M$ M) K9 a. O* W( q
Throw wet towel on bed. ! O; _" _, k1 M7 Y' r
6 b# h6 c( D' T" w! X- [' z
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|