 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 u) f1 W- n, v3 R& fTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 y F3 K2 p; t5 e& n6 I' [
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 ]/ J$ u# a+ o: i( Z7 X# Q+ jLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, c0 n6 Q% g# S- V# I" G+ ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ N) j: n2 C1 L1 {0 M" p( R
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 B7 y+ u6 ~1 e1 _9 i
1 t/ Y0 f' X, r& ~Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 s2 i: U4 p( g# {: s. y! b
% q' }" t( h4 G* e# j3 w1 R. VWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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% d9 T. v3 @) C. l8 G' c7 y5 Z( Q; LCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9 W; u! v) H! S: o* T0 ~
- F8 [- O# I5 _Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - X6 N' l: @$ k5 J/ l
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.) i: C9 J3 D! o, c' c1 X$ U9 r
0 X% F$ K, B. x2 STurn off shower.
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; T w) }+ a, P4 @Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* U; v1 R7 P$ |1 i6 \! o, n$ y. H
0 g3 J/ e6 Y( m& K7 `Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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8 C* l% B* D8 x0 wWrap hair in super absorbent towel. \9 ]# Y, _" {
1 h9 @2 F* ^2 x+ }+ D* V: v& X `. J* iReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 }+ f( w0 K q$ Y
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: / _3 ?5 r' F, d4 B1 L7 G
l3 M9 w2 n S1 G( H) s, t1 C c# hTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # Z4 t" n6 {/ O( N
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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2 L' @/ Q& W7 I! m; G9 HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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6 |3 ~( I& c. W) P+ WLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * D7 C4 C, P/ f9 h. c, i3 j
- i& I. W+ H" O: I+ F1 OAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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# P& n# C' r& S& E) i/ u5 yBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. |. W2 W3 H- }" F: L1 {8 E. G2 r" rWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. ' \) G/ }6 ]& }9 A- a, g
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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6 s0 v6 K: p* j' A2 |Partially dry off., K3 W+ m8 @5 P* J q( _
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 v' ?! s# W+ o5 F
+ e+ Q% Z0 T2 r2 PAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ( X# a4 d7 K6 f2 G' z
9 @, r7 B9 Z4 o6 f% SLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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5 ]( @& N. f! f, ~If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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