 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 }- W& J) b- f3 J2 L
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% s& y# F, X% S) k* Q$ y5 Z# o1 R$ s1 a1 P
( z8 a# J( T oWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! E; o9 P( y k& _
- _. T! v8 D2 R+ U4 ~If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., v9 t' ~" K3 ~$ e2 \, B: ]
9 }# N9 S9 \( X2 p; WLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 8 Y G0 a2 {6 Q1 Z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 ]. I) d& s7 N
% |5 R( J/ \( y$ @: x) O6 CWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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/ r# U v! E: r! E. O2 m$ r# O( EWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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; g: p; ^# ^8 `2 [5 ?0 P8 HWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ \# q. d$ k1 L+ B6 L) {
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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( o5 `; O. _0 x S2 ^Rinse conditioner off hair.
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# H' O4 u Z% Q# g1 \: Y' E) p: LShave armpits and legs." P! \! D$ B# z) E) n
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Turn off shower.+ o& ^+ F8 A. z: |
# h8 a$ ?* B. o" P# U$ GSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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- U8 ^- }) k8 `9 VSpray mold spots with Tilex. u- R( ]& H3 Y5 M
6 Q/ @. j9 F9 L: EGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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8 ~' E6 M$ H" ^Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 0 Y+ i' H4 A! Z- S
/ G3 n) Y: ]) f2 H7 f: Q5 j) E1 f5 D- iReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 4 ]$ B* T. l Z1 s2 U
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( ]3 t# z5 ^& T$ u7 oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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6 q8 S5 N1 d6 a" J) z7 W' JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.2 H+ W+ D! a: w. R ^. B" A
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) G( ]5 O6 S1 o- n" m. i
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ) h7 V/ U( J! l
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : F% ~$ s( t8 {$ |! E5 k; s& x
& t" b% t+ W6 C6 s/ ]) I# M3 zWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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( e: X* {" D2 W }Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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# V' k g {9 `- Z/ G. ^1 k0 bPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 1 P1 C! l4 {& T5 ]$ w) S* d2 [
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Partially dry off.# @$ [+ i4 L7 A, J9 U3 m- h9 O
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ m0 q- \& k- b, ^6 C, I, D
( U, w+ X6 v" b qAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ) ?: Y4 p- C3 t( ^
& t( k- i% B2 m$ q2 A& t9 gLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , t8 S; A+ Z$ s$ W
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 4 B0 V, u; L8 c; ]2 F7 Z: q
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Throw wet towel on bed. * i5 U) U' b/ y! J
4 }" z, d K7 d; D7 ^If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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