 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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- I3 c! ^. n# {9 e6 X$ W. \Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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2 D4 ~( Q/ ?6 bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
[% g9 o# o- l. d' g2 M( W6 q1 Smake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + }. J% s4 m& A9 ^ I
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : q! E6 L. z2 M5 {2 J9 c" W) e9 e
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.6 _: _; @7 J8 s! K' s
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( E7 Z$ ~3 I; z, ~* p/ W: h
8 \4 `2 U# c% Q ~Rinse conditioner off hair." h z' ]2 x# ]/ U9 M5 j1 |$ \
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Shave armpits and legs.9 I( U2 ^) j. Z, _) g- K
- Q' x0 m W: }1 ~0 uTurn off shower.' r1 b2 E2 ~3 [6 {! o# W- w! h
; c+ g3 |' H2 `* m. dSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower. F* @' N7 u- {$ @: y/ Q
% ^/ @. b. Y0 E b+ `# ]* g% J+ _Spray mold spots with Tilex. 9 u* |9 X* U; H2 Z+ \- i! G
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' q' V% H, b- b3 r
# s/ u( v+ t, U' S/ q# K! MWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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- l8 v. w/ F0 c% O! E& n( rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : W: u2 ?6 G2 Z" a% n) ^
: N" j0 ~4 S% b+ k4 gTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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+ a" W1 q5 m0 A, R2 H5 qWalk naked to the bathroom.! g A! n+ E% d( A0 D2 u7 P; `
9 |0 S7 B; A- M1 Q' {: EIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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7 A2 E, Y$ k F4 d, y2 i& rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 R) p6 @3 S( J) v5 G
6 C) _5 w! A! z! ?- XBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ! ^' h$ J* k# W \: b# H* z
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # @' {6 ~1 X8 r5 d
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. & b+ ^: n6 e' P$ p
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Rinse off and get out of shower. * B4 t: g" L! W0 b$ M
/ O$ e9 p r4 v: y0 o0 s; z# sPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : ~- [3 [' y& H" U# T8 x
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. / a! z. o: b" U7 d, ^% ^" b2 G: W1 H
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. % u( ]% s+ c8 \1 |% W
1 W4 o. Z, @8 {) h) r g4 DIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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