 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
) \1 q9 q" Z+ ]$ `: U0 ~6 R1 F9 F/ W. Q5 d
% ?/ p+ R3 |# M- p! p3 L
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
' v$ A% S- a6 }9 S+ I: e) b) G+ x6 D* J% B5 o
. d, ]3 {- d# z& d: ^ L# i5 D! i1 [
2 h! r" Z& s9 i& m, s
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. O" p% o6 r7 g7 R" |
5 _+ ~2 }2 H" P3 w5 z: v0 W1 EWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
+ V* @' Z3 F3 p: S9 z0 S
7 o/ y8 J8 b9 f& q' S0 F1 J) DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas./ {& s0 i9 c5 v' U0 }
/ e/ w7 S4 d: J n$ W: G& G
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- / ~. [ j- R( y' [8 H
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.% J+ X7 R' ?8 A
- V% c7 ? b! q; eGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - e. c- g8 M! s
- ?6 b$ z ~* ]% N( g$ h/ P) w z
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # p( q/ u/ m' K. _
h9 R7 a6 E t9 t3 J% H$ q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
3 S% C, d6 Y! u* B( X
' b. o; p' @4 n2 t8 h$ \' ~6 DCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... i3 n: p6 E- x9 M* g! q% s6 |( a
% d& A+ E3 e7 BWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
: s# b# `2 d' Z* s% A6 u. G) v
8 u; o2 u( ^, R2 o) y# LWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! Q1 V, D) n* L" c5 B/ e
1 O" Q, e4 ]5 J0 N1 URinse conditioner off hair.! h; H Q/ K8 g9 Q
& c. e5 s- s& f! F
Shave armpits and legs.
- H" V8 o) \2 {1 }* ]# C
+ \& E9 n& q+ P, T0 LTurn off shower.. B5 m, P- d: A8 Y2 m
* ^- n# R& x9 XSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- O# E' E# |/ m7 ?$ x: V
7 D- ~7 ?* R t6 f7 H
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
$ ?$ ~/ p& l& y! V2 F3 ^& z; Z
# c! x0 l# |6 `7 L9 T- J: B" VGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( ~' W1 K" m9 l4 J
0 Y! ~0 ~. i2 U0 BWrap hair in super absorbent towel. # c4 N% \! O" c* S
: L* T: g" Q( _; W8 j8 OReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
k& T9 G3 G+ `9 d* @( B* s3 @) i, U/ A
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
# U3 J6 a3 l5 V( L4 G6 F
7 Q% D5 B5 D& c8 c8 n: _
/ S5 K: l9 K& v* t. QHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
7 @3 S9 G3 j1 G9 Y9 i' b6 P8 _3 ]6 r! c5 {* O @* U7 ] U
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 I3 K0 M. R0 i2 D; o/ |
4 I. N3 w. B, A* BWalk naked to the bathroom.
! R7 }. s9 X* F' R2 v, C) Z! n
, f9 J8 z2 m* M- aIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
# n/ W/ l7 k" r; p* J# z8 |9 f% a$ Z" y2 g- {" p5 Q8 o
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
+ C' I" L! I, v' [& J. }$ D* z' G1 n6 ~$ Q4 [
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 e% a7 C5 k/ U/ R
. I; Z# D4 e* a+ { l aGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. " H' p' f9 y! m! P, {
, H1 l2 R, ~5 X5 F1 N. QBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( W3 w" f; C* K: q( [9 t2 p
5 K7 m7 D) A4 V5 G
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ) i, w0 d+ P; q1 P0 } m
3 {+ a5 R0 ^# K* u
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
1 z8 p, n/ A: t- v' i) T4 T5 U2 T. u# N+ O' W) r) ^- Y
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # {/ i) T @& R3 t9 \
4 [( R m# A- U" ~ o4 BWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
, g* l8 \) ~+ ]% t% I/ J9 b3 G
+ Z9 H" m }" E3 _# CPee. + q& T& g& d7 z" u: H! [
0 |' ]. T9 E1 _# h5 e' R
Rinse off and get out of shower. * R' q) l8 R; d5 g" X9 t
4 L0 ]: u0 b! a6 t
Partially dry off.
: h1 e- C; R' k @- s' x$ e; Y, f5 p
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
* B; o1 n; W' a- x
6 U2 v ^* u$ P; A/ _Admire wiener size in mirror again. 5 w6 `: e7 v2 y5 r9 y4 l2 b6 g
$ B- @3 ^+ Y% L& m) I1 u ? ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
' _1 J9 m7 e! f9 {
$ J. [! W4 q ~7 X" O+ @/ SReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 w1 a' d0 }. T3 @$ d3 L
) o, a+ a8 U! f+ BThrow wet towel on bed. * \" h/ Q' I9 b, |& A( N
" N# i6 I" y5 p0 j" C5 NIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|