 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : $ F, X1 E+ ]3 w9 z' t7 F
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 Z7 g( V7 s G2 D
. \ g3 @6 F5 f. h5 yWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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' q* c3 \' \) ILook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! g* a* }1 n( u( r% g/ u: o. kmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 F6 K! c B7 J
( Q. \) @/ K4 k" e: J; G- {# K' nGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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5 k$ ~5 |8 `" a* TWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 n5 o! |2 V! Y+ D
% K8 m3 @: t+ q. O) gWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair. I2 a% w2 n$ ?5 c& p9 C
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Shave armpits and legs.6 S& V: Y1 C2 f) S$ e! N
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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% C( L; Z8 ^+ L5 ]Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 O, D+ V( b. C0 w
( C7 A! x- ^6 M1 J+ h( W" qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 8 V, C/ n3 t8 O% n3 L* m/ v
* g$ m, u: |, p QReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + Z! z* G5 c3 _5 F
8 @; ?6 b" { c4 o, FIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 r' T1 I. N O2 ?; ]1 ?
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: v7 N, Z0 |. V, Y
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / {/ a* N# r6 ~' Q
" F J& z- Z0 G" D/ ~" Q. CWalk naked to the bathroom.! v, D; w1 k4 ^ t; E# L
( \' F7 @: g9 Z2 e+ uIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - B' U- q% K0 @( [- q$ x# k
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ b" X2 g" v: w: {
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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' y" S& g0 A% T* X) x" E' ]Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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( q! @4 H/ O) G' O8 j* kSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 J$ m! v7 p1 y/ @9 p
, \& {' e% n/ h; ~Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ( u: N1 b+ X; P& P' Q1 C9 w
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. " ]$ k3 |4 m j/ z
4 v& D1 r' P/ d) ?, T. JRinse off and get out of shower.
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/ `9 w% f. k$ W& \" L1 e3 p3 f5 W* L; m+ _Partially dry off.
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: j( q+ T& c. l, ^( f( f! WFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 4 B* r" M: l% [! v7 g/ k# U D5 ?
' p9 m" V8 c1 {6 A! P4 e: Y! lLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. X8 {4 k0 I5 v4 \
- Y! o# ? ^' \+ ]Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. $ n% r' K4 J s$ \, y* f
8 B/ o2 B* F! Q( ?6 \ mThrow wet towel on bed.
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4 N; g' M' |: H5 xIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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