 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + G9 f' f7 [; ?) g' b* d8 Z0 v
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2 R. ~; X ~0 r: OTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.) J9 ~! B; e% D( H/ F
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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$ ]1 X" f2 P$ R0 P/ u; O9 hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- " T0 f- E1 c/ a+ z; y& s1 X2 P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ l" ]) Y) r) G! m
7 p @% R9 g$ V0 p! ~5 p! dGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + ?0 n: h# F( u% h
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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: @+ N+ j" ~5 cCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.., o$ N! u9 j" g# o, \! [7 u
s8 h6 q3 I+ gWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ; ?/ ~, l2 ?7 W2 _0 ?1 Q X4 a
3 ~ R" m! [$ ?; Y' tWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 L; v# j |/ [& ~% |1 C
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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# L/ F$ C- k: Y$ g/ q9 w% vShave armpits and legs.; D5 J4 T& c% i) Z
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. % \ Z4 L( V7 ?* [& a3 @+ p
; Y& `# |9 }+ [8 pGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 G% y& W, l5 I' O9 v- V5 g5 {* m
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " j3 h0 e; t @5 _$ s- F! {
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , _' i4 b1 F8 f6 X2 f* @- A; q
1 v( {& O. `2 x& H: n$ CTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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6 N5 u0 g5 X) A* o. ~0 [ I, MWalk naked to the bathroom.. i: w: S; P, C+ d- _9 x
9 C0 ~* _/ u3 e. M! vIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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9 \6 U, _8 d. R) P' \% FLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 l# Q5 L* M+ ^4 ?: [+ f8 p. |' m
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ' ~6 t1 v4 E9 Y8 B& D" U+ M
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. o8 w: n- w# i3 g
+ O0 k6 O) w2 ^& c0 [Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # k% e$ F% Y( T( q. j
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % u& @$ J' ~( ?8 Q6 ]! I2 ~
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. @/ r, N* r) q# a! zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : ~2 ?( d- ~* B( `2 Z0 k
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Pee.
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$ K) S/ T; ]/ w6 k8 u% i' iRinse off and get out of shower. # ]; C" {* a5 }1 t
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Partially dry off.' t C8 b+ ~7 ], U. D
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. " p5 z/ `$ Q+ ^ H
! c8 n4 o# t: N! `# Y$ zLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / v$ m8 T a/ B
. l+ d# |$ @* w* ]( h3 y' NReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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) B h, M8 q4 q4 X( `If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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