 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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6 p3 ~2 o! |9 p4 h3 `# U, KTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 o; k! ?# B: ^
A' [+ {# k% z/ e0 }% cWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ; Z* p" a3 |+ C4 n! e! \' y4 ^
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.1 @" T1 j7 P3 }/ c) N
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* { x- [6 T5 s O- s: ^5 `$ |make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., M* _, S" S8 H' ~, E
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * F4 @& a: u3 s9 j& a: h. m
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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+ E, M- p' m- r+ xWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& h P% c# u( j6 |
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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5 g) j6 ?! w! {# j$ o6 AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 6 P+ {) ], \* a% w L3 ]
% O6 D P. _# ?! M3 H8 u8 h3 kWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.4 n; u/ o( t& u" O) Q
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Shave armpits and legs.( E) `) {* J# e7 e3 a
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Turn off shower.. W) U- {( I+ K0 N7 Q# y/ g
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ b8 G% J: z# g8 [3 |/ t' s$ X
' |7 ` q0 r. x* G! F5 FSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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7 q/ w" J) l( EWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) C% x' A$ b& @
C/ y5 o5 j7 x* a9 r+ @7 VReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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1 @$ m7 Q% [) @' \1 t& BHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + n. L3 M3 e* U, \7 C- t6 Z |$ z
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.3 i9 G0 h' U p! L R
3 d9 J' i$ e/ IIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 R9 p# B L- I9 N3 o
% [9 K6 c3 C0 t% J) dLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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' _- q0 c* F( }/ g# G7 k+ B2 r0 WAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 C1 F: h7 O9 ~$ f
3 F' a! I- f. R* M- EGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ; ` Q) t/ _5 a7 ~' p0 ~
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + Q5 W1 G1 Y3 u% ~' @; v# T3 Y
. [9 l3 C4 Q' ]. j# w: {4 fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; N2 d5 ]+ w9 j* d
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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# ~" |- T4 b* Q7 ]# {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * |7 U# k `) t" C9 @
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Pee. ( ]/ ` P5 e e1 K ~
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.% Q! b+ L; v4 Z$ [
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * F! ~) p. Z3 p+ L+ f2 R
: Y+ O: d3 r, k' sAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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8 o+ t" E: J6 r+ D$ [. T+ p: oLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ) O2 u4 K( a' ]" L% p0 o
! j* t# D5 l: X" u# Q9 [1 V% IReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. , }. y0 @# Q, U3 \
, E: O7 } ^" x9 y. L* nIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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