UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

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Dear IT Support / Software Developer,
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  e3 C2 N, r$ r' T; @+ V1 KLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
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1 t( f9 K2 M. H' I! a3 kIn addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
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+ ~; ]) r1 B$ z( gAnd now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
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$ J: I! C" M$ D: gWhat can I do?
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Signed,
Desperate Housewife

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Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

; E/ W6 }; X9 N' O2 sFirst keep in mind:
1 l# v& o2 C0 y: bBoyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

2 p; u: ], j9 U2 b' u( S8 w. m3 Z& wTry entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 .

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.
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( k+ a5 ~& {8 V) J5 V% D  m1 DLate Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

' B% Z: S4 B/ o  l# ]& ^  `Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
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: U- r! d6 x/ `' u9 Z/ aIn summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
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You might consider additional software to improve memory and
$ L% j* @4 ?. f, a* [  Wperformance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
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