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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA* ?3 _& y6 r0 d6 B) x+ n) ~8 O
' c6 j! s. f9 Q% e1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
3 n! N# s# W" X! B& I2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
9 L' d1 g1 A5 s' S5 Q3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
7 y; x: [" |& U5 x4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
) W) v m/ p1 S! @5. Weed
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& a1 c+ c4 { aTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA # W- O9 r' Z5 B/ P" _% t; I& k/ p
( w+ {9 {$ x3 {3 c0 b, c1. Big rock between you and B.C.
/ `) I+ C$ L& ~2. Ottawa who?
+ u# Q; O0 h7 ]& _3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
t! \$ ?$ b' N$ ^( n3 I& M4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. & b6 M- U# f6 n" @
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
7 F, p8 o0 }. v1 L0 X2 t6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. # H( I$ F) P# X+ ^5 X& f
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, I( `- O# N+ B+ J/ }/ W/ z5 @TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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0 m3 F) L, w7 k1 M5 a, a$ t1. You never run out of wheat. . Y; L7 S5 U% U' _
2. Your province is really easy to draw. ' ?) a$ W6 t/ x9 J
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
3 |2 X$ _/ Q% i- i) U' X4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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]6 v& J# _/ S& T; P* t1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
0 X; q! [8 d% ~$ _9 n* g, k5 \' s4 X w2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. / f3 |" A" O% f& s( q f7 k$ j( e
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
+ a5 b1 T( c* l2 j- n4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. ' w! T/ U, f9 O' `
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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4 l, M* ^* W9 J4 tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 6 x: d1 L0 F0 w! k1 ]: K+ }
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
* r. o: p2 ]3 l+ H V# c/ b* x, C" B2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. w. ]* ?: i! I& g) G8 e: J4 R& Z- l
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
, J% r* \) g" [7 I' x- h% l4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 1 v' n+ Q- a: V' F
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC # N( S5 h$ {$ M& r1 O" c
6 X0 |4 N& X9 e, J5 b2 k& W; O# s1. Racism is socially acceptable
! G1 ?) r( }. ]9 n" y2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 4 G* N* d% T0 y4 l) l7 y
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
4 V! N& a( d0 J; o7 L1 f" U" p$ G4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *3 q# I3 {( U0 F: k" e5 L( n
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ' ~+ C# P) L' j' L. n
( e. Z2 H7 |7 {' \6 WTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
f/ k. u, o% _3 W: f Z+ t2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
2 |- s. j, Y/ n7 e5 C/ |3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
3 X" ?4 k |7 |9 f4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA . [, {) ^7 `$ K# ?
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8 R0 f( M, z1 Q7 e ?. G3 M1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
" `$ i+ @- a8 m2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
, M$ v4 P& z0 N7 i. _; ~9 i+ O3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. . l. H [5 ~+ h) F. S" k7 ~
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 9 O o9 g0 q! C% l9 y
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. - l7 B+ p5 Y s1 C5 M
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. / x/ Y o5 n: i# c1 K6 J5 q
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
1 W. a0 |/ @( J( D8 @5 y5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
3 n1 F% G* L- r$ W/ P6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND % c- Y# r) ]5 J" o& ~
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2 U, `* \. ~/ h& W, y7 j2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
( A" d8 `4 ^5 p3 t/ u$ I4 W3. The workday is about two hours long. 8 ]' |. W7 ?4 w* c
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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