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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA8 p: D, X% n: {7 A" t3 f
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
; L, y4 g( x, R5 O2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 9 o8 s) ~* q7 l/ p' k
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. + \ d# L- y0 S8 m) E
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. ! v2 [7 ?8 R7 B3 n, F7 r2 u, Y
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
; H) i# w9 j i* R- @2. Ottawa who?
" v" K" e4 v. C/ {4 N3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. & X! A' p1 u% I
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. , |* B7 M' v! p2 D( B' P
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
0 D( z% y: i$ U7 f# y; T' Q5 ?6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 1 L4 D! E) g1 ]6 G! y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN * x' X) n) V! R `% ^/ n
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1. You never run out of wheat. 5 Y6 C# Z1 ]' [
2. Your province is really easy to draw. 8 T f. i" Z( m
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
8 V8 ~! p: {* \& e; l$ w4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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- v9 T- X6 h. E1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. - x% g Y4 b) a, \
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 9 t, b! g7 _8 W8 V* J W
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ) w5 P1 z D. z! I# | _6 h. F2 X
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. : t: Q( U5 u3 e! ~+ I3 h. U; n! h
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 7 s( r2 R4 k, ^( e' P
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2 ^+ s( m6 O( U# mTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO * U8 D" J+ O# K; |0 W9 r% l
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 7 \9 n" g8 ?& b. E
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
; m3 f( _6 o( C# }3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. . `* |+ _- h( }, k% w
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 8 q6 N5 n6 |6 n. g ~2 Q' U
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! g' J' r- {' q1 e* x1 e4 ]( dTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable ; ?: @7 t, S( `( R, n, d C$ x. I
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
2 H- v, \1 q% ]2 Y3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. % F \; T6 B7 M1 G* k: _
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *3 @& b+ |+ |4 F: q
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
! |; R' q5 c( X1 d% }2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
s! Z1 ]' f# c3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick / @2 g+ ?* a- c2 r( v/ x
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 5 W5 v: n& E6 L$ V
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8 c% ]/ H. @6 s+ ]7 qTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 5 `) p+ H. f& P6 f
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
$ `2 U, w% S; t) ^- |* s) h8 g% u2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 3 u7 |6 r6 b# y$ s: z4 `2 u
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. , q+ K/ e, _ f3 a: o$ Z' P- F
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! W9 \7 s; J& U$ sTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND * n u. Q# S! c! A% x
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 3 W& m4 D0 m& q! p
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
; J/ Y) s- \7 D: Y3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
& s4 w: n z: {4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
3 m3 w' ]! x! g: f* x5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
8 k' |8 w( G) B4 w! x, o6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND " V$ c& G$ t8 f6 x
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
- ?) d' ?# A7 O; {8 n! k2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
% ?: i' x) \7 F3. The workday is about two hours long. ! c. k( |; g& N5 @! o
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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