In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
7 L' X. Q/ i6 D4 r2 ~6 s1 D, f
! ?0 n2 i# P4 {  zIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
6 e9 |5 S7 F0 V& A% K8 V) n( INourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

, u  e! H' j. A. m% }* nIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
5 j8 |( Y4 T: g3 mMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me

! D: T! Q% S! @[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

; ?6 S% I9 K( FIn the garden of my heart
3 t5 Z3 F% t& P; x% p0 z" QYou planted a tree
0 o0 E+ {5 l3 F! n8 L/ kFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
8 R. b' u% t) BDevoured my so ...

5 Q' O0 E$ T7 S- I: J9 ?
4 ^2 S5 S. a7 F" X0 ]. n, q" v眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
' b, Q! t9 ?+ Y: }4 n' ^! g
写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
) `* y- D" O* J2 H! o. G眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
% [/ a! k3 y' n. D加精加精！

3 F8 I! t  d! X! N$ m9 r我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
+ s* [: W' R% }9 V, O如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
. ^3 \2 L+ r  S! P3 GShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

. \+ V6 H4 }/ Q4 r& ZSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

; j2 N. T2 D& k) S
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
9 A8 Q3 P: h9 F5 Z- ?, k
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
9 r, I8 h4 W; ?% y6 |5 X; A
" \7 e' D: \2 c$ n( {  m: l+ aShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

, h. R4 D& \: T" [Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

% `1 G, E1 M3 f1 j  B* D
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
% j  Z4 ~& z+ q! Ithee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
* X7 m' T& C0 s6 D9 }
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

- b# [) R8 c/ T  \
+ e# V4 d) E/ T5 g2 ~( f# E. [2 d有啊，有很多经典的例子。
: Y- B/ C% @' |: P$ o. ~. Z8 k
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
9 {& h; {5 X8 S8 L) o& w
  d- M5 R2 b1 R% l; cDon't weep at my grave
, m$ w. {5 T2 R* a7 \For I am not there,
- q# G  P/ [1 H3 cI've a date with a butterfly
4 D; R) Q/ W, q, J9 ~  fTo dance on the air.
+ t4 k; j4 e; a9 [: l, ^! k6 b& rIf I'm missed, find a flower,
6 K0 z: ~& @- v/ VI'll be there too,
2 ]+ x# Y* {% y. }Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
% ]3 \6 n) N% h2 T
Don't be sad
When you remember me,
7 q. s7 y; o' m4 r, D. ~6 q. s* u5 QFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
  e9 d  T* \' `( xWild and free,
: C) @# |# {6 E; ~! s% {+ kFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
; j5 ?' m% l' r# i2 U* j( DTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
4 K7 I1 w+ P; T0 Z1 x3 N8 M5 zSwimming in the sea,
1 ?# j5 D6 E. F5 W# _5 vEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.