In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
9 H4 v. L/ M% u0 ~
# s/ l0 u3 ^+ y5 N" R/ mIn the garden of my heart
' L2 a5 h& p% e  ?0 Z7 Q, i& B- DYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
3 d7 U( l$ R% g  T1 pDevoured my sorrow by thee
5 v/ K; B( n$ C0 T6 O+ J" M) ~9 p2 o
5 Y6 p+ g* a8 \4 @In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
  M: u- ]4 i4 h/ E$ Z7 qShould the sky fall down on me
. x3 U- P1 c- P0 IMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
) Z. G  q" s0 T  x# j( NBursting the love out of me
1 v7 v0 S1 e/ ?! A' A
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
0 M5 b# @7 ?  @& F1 v听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
7 ^) u5 X$ ~% X
In the garden of my heart
7 e8 L1 {2 y4 g/ @  V" LYou planted a tree
& P: [4 e7 m8 Z7 W( iFrom sunset til dawn
( [- H0 v) i0 Q" m0 E" l4 ^* N9 b- @Through darkness to light
! H. [5 ]! u( i; b6 ZNourished with my soul
: X7 i6 _6 S. ^8 @Devoured my so ...

' i  O8 F5 u- H% H/ X眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

2 m3 v- h9 n9 _6 Y" u写得真好。

. B! l* `7 |% ~" u  x6 x5 ]加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
' ]  F$ _. S8 l3 q写得真好。
0 F! u4 r" Q4 \( k5 p6 Y加精加精！

- x. ^$ C7 |3 \! V- [. {& S0 G我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
, O3 j! e/ u. }+ l" S如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

& W8 b7 g# @9 k& @  K! Y8 t五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
1 L/ g( z$ n3 Y7 l: {
# C( s7 L+ R) ?Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
3 ~. \* o# L9 G  G% j7 z
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
% {. c3 P! S5 ?$ i: }
9 c5 S9 A( t6 V  J2 ?% o1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
' M% ?8 j2 |* s( c* _
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
7 U4 I5 t( C6 p: L: e
. e8 E+ n# Q0 W& O% e1 gShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
+ h3 y6 f& x7 x1 z8 G0 P& Q8 z
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

) U6 ?1 V3 w5 ~& r4 q# [, m4 i诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, u. w- p% H" _; xthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

0 M8 ]3 l/ W4 B- S7 f; ]
5 D. B- v, h* _& r" T有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

4 {- t$ v+ m. hDon't weep at my grave
7 N5 V: {4 ~) F" KFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
3 D( {! O/ f8 G/ @& U6 Z( {3 ^
0 Y, D9 ]6 g" C, K* @Don't be sad
3 F# d6 i' R5 @: D! q! P# yWhen you remember me,
8 @& |; v0 E- _4 _For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
  q, H8 {! d: }' {& y6 RFlirting with the lighting,
$ k9 H- r. h. x  e# o$ B/ KPlaying tag with the wind,
0 V* L8 m( t& F( F1 H0 }Chasing the thunder
. A+ _+ f4 i( c; B* B* ^& ^) F. ETime and again,
& V8 a' O* e% k4 F. A; g( @; z4 `! T8 d' `Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
/ F4 q3 N8 C, ?3 {Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.