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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew
! N( n/ G$ l! X' q+ Q& j+ ehis wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he( m8 V3 s. R4 w1 R
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he' g7 _: V  i# x5 p6 R
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked. ^6 U$ s. B# q7 l  l
if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,
% R/ c- Q2 Y! \3 @( YI don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
+ W% J5 z8 p- _! f3 Vexcept... ahhh... never mind."6 ~' t3 v6 d6 t2 W* l; M

4 V6 r8 B# X9 L) m1 s5 H: X    "Except what?" the man asked.5 r# u; C& H& w2 @. p1 g
    "Nothing, nothing."" p% r' G6 f" z6 o! X
    "C'mon, tell me!"
. J( U: y9 n" x, w    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."7 G/ L$ W) q2 B& ^% p
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.6 w# \$ F; I% w; K0 {2 ~6 V
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."$ c: P1 M  E; i) w6 a8 q8 n
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
% q' X: O+ G; V: g0 I) g5 V% J+ ?$ acarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
# N$ S; E6 o9 j( H: n/ v5 a0 ]* e% ?ordinary-looking black dildo., I/ m3 w4 z  M8 ]8 ]2 F# n: {/ {
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
9 L* g1 Q: K) Y6 q; p: X# X! s7 x
7 B& }: r: p, K% V    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old1 ], V$ F, v; l( s, T  G5 n9 J
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
; a: e, H9 ?; P& `( c VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started2 f2 e3 S, a) o) d& q
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack " \3 @& `" m8 {. v
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
0 ~( A, R7 F  a0 Q4 Q' ?"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to( z& u$ ^! D9 k
the box and lay there, quiet once again.( i4 v$ L- \$ f4 W

- y9 ^- C. U; d    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it# |7 k4 X( v* \6 `( e- f  v3 j
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took1 X- d& O3 @7 \+ j0 P2 H
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all ' r6 W, L' [8 M4 d/ B) a" \' H
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip$ x6 d, D- f7 g2 t/ l" S
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.! l) }' R3 ^. P5 q# M  p
1 M# ]) X0 L# s6 j
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She, G8 j8 \6 D2 l
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she& F, ?) i) L+ W
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
1 E9 `* f% i  k. l. E! Q8 C"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was/ [6 W0 q8 s& X/ S# o
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
/ t% G4 A. g' ndecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her" ]5 U! Y2 \' x. g! r5 T
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
% Y" z2 [5 }8 P7 X& F8 z
1 Q  {' R$ o3 H    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
* j0 s4 a- ~" k; _to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick/ i- d! P2 g) k( C
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.
  V* i: f* z) n
- z) q9 S( u$ r( |2 ~, u8 C6 P    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive0 P0 E% B" H- }8 A5 u+ u
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming# K6 B$ t6 D/ Z5 t) b2 A
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next% g6 @* S: \2 r' [- X  p
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
( V) r1 _0 T" k2 Y; P- f: K# U, {flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how# G" S) S0 ^& j9 N# S  Z
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she4 U' D" ]3 L+ c/ {0 v- e2 w% |% l4 b8 W# U
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
, Z) N# l: @) L  N( b1 J6 e8 I& o6 x6 H$ K, R
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
6 i7 J% x" K6 Plady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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