 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!( _4 t: J$ F0 Z$ ~2 ]3 |
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写/ U+ A/ D5 _. Z2 y
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers." A& U6 w8 o, `
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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. G1 H1 s, o/ f5 s' M- ~# f1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
* V9 f3 Y1 T# D3 Z# y, Zdown.
$ J2 F2 V1 F( N. {& ` jWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about l+ I& B0 i# Z
you
/ R' W! F: o) c9 k# W$ ?' xleaving it down.
+ c- ^: E3 S, s# v$ r3 h% D1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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( C& ^3 G- d3 Q7 u) u1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
' t; U7 a! T" ]8 c( XLet it be.; \- A$ ~, y& X4 ~7 j
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it4 _( t. j. }$ U8 v$ _, r$ d
that way.8 V' B1 J- u7 ?, P& a0 h' P
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.
, | X, U( q* A- y5 v; s1，哭泣是敲诈3 q& q7 ]9 T* J1 ]/ x
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1. Ask for what you want.% ?) @+ u, L6 P0 u" m, l
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!9 c* G% a) j$ V4 Y/ ?, P
Strong hints do not work!) U2 N# ]2 @; f2 @. Y- I
Obvious hints do not work!
# _( `% C+ g" C8 W) GJust say it!
( H4 u; m9 q! o' L1，你想要什么就说% p, O# R3 }6 j/ B# f5 a, P
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！6 W7 d! E6 U6 q m, J [" ~; X
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every : q2 U4 H5 k2 _
question.
# P1 @7 A! s4 l8 U1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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2 j8 m' k3 Q- K% j4 ^) [" y1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
7 F6 \4 Q2 n1 i$ e3 @+ \what we do." g# a+ X$ p9 B1 L4 [6 K/ j* _
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.6 ^$ {+ Z: ~5 U$ c: a1 i3 l
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.! ]) A4 `5 z- o% V5 {4 y, Y
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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9 t2 H6 Z8 c1 X1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
) p+ u c7 H2 y, v2 C2 oIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
0 ] T; r& }' w我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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4 `4 ~6 s3 {# l! ?# N1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
! j3 s6 M3 N" xto act like soap opera guys.
* M7 |' v9 ^+ j4 t4 R9 _' z7 d1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们6 b, ^) n( `/ y5 ~3 Y% B# n
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
! P$ }0 C7 X2 a9 s1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们' S; R) o5 p6 M$ @" P) r x! R
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways( x% o9 ~4 Q) K4 Y, y# q* v
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
9 }4 e8 {: K, W) g' L8 z1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。6 o1 l4 i6 Y7 Y# F4 }, L
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
' b( _, _ ^: ?1 i1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
- ]% I1 x8 j' v2 M6 }done. Not both.; c s8 T6 ~0 A( m2 Z/ G% X
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.5 O3 G( c/ l `' i% v9 }
4 `' o7 m/ j! C/ x6 T1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during0 M) L/ G1 x n( F$ g' P1 z
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( T; S6 }) ]0 U3 S' X4 |2 q. e9 ~% ?
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.3 W. T, m2 p# s9 ?
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
0 P1 s8 T4 J5 ~We have no idea what mauve is.8 K/ p3 L; \- p+ ?, j: M
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.; S# O) P% W5 L0 W( y7 |
R+ d/ ?" Q N! _1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
# v$ I. H, u9 ^! _8 Inothing's wrong.
! F' ?; Z" {7 ?, HWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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: B0 R" n7 @& u$ |# G5 S1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer# p4 {, i1 F- e3 {# d
you don't want to hear.) f: h: c7 v8 p4 p
9 y/ S* [# A: x9 j, |1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
`3 ^ H- h" Z# C$ Xfine...Really.1 m7 p9 m+ w) y+ a, O7 L
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
2 p+ G$ B2 w% L' s5 w/ \/ _0 ]discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.# |( K! i0 w1 E8 f, L
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1. You have too many shoes.
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4 e P; ^8 ?9 l, d% x3 x7 J. Z5 o1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!. ?# u7 C b$ p3 o: p
6 W5 F- i1 ]: z! O% P1. Thank you for reading this.
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E' q2 _' X) _, ~5 HYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
- X3 @( ?( {' m$ N6 b$ LBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& x: h$ G5 T3 e/ m9 G
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
8 z5 C. }1 A& u1 s+ u: ]Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
