 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* V* m& m& [; M$ h I* g& U- @
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写8 `, H* e1 r1 G m5 Z
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
- t1 R; a9 U' H9 I- p1 p' w# R1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫) S! B9 o" ]( H5 ?( t" A2 V
" f( c' l5 O3 e5 l% f! m( R1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it2 f. |' c$ G7 |
down.
9 \# V6 s0 L4 rWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 9 o5 r# r8 p7 v) R& x& }1 }
you; F* H# A3 W/ E3 U
leaving it down.: J- u/ Q" u# e0 x8 a: U
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？5 t& ]/ B/ D' ~% E
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.& s- o9 [/ F6 a% U X
Let it be.
; s0 _+ L' y( l9 d4 `# m" S1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去3 J2 P6 L- W1 P1 v4 D& x9 f' v8 j8 l
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
3 n- w/ T& H1 R G% t1 athat way.* w& I6 ]) M7 o7 {+ D3 k: r
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！4 u% G! f7 m) a6 [! ]* ]6 Q( X
% L! N+ _4 A. o' I& Z& r8 T5 W/ U( W1. Crying is blackmail.+ [' r. i3 T: r7 z
1，哭泣是敲诈
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- N7 b4 G' _. @9 h( O5 _1. Ask for what you want.
6 Q) V; `7 M+ \1 xLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
# e7 `& z2 L# `/ p q) k2 c8 OStrong hints do not work!
# f$ _- S, f0 p5 @7 JObvious hints do not work!1 W. e u2 P) @
Just say it!
( m A# m. X( c* n+ ~+ L& c1，你想要什么就说
# h, {, ^* s0 G# j( k我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
9 q" U) X* a9 h! d6 L% g3 xquestion.
' h) P* @7 F; H+ I1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）; Q6 X+ j. F1 s/ ~. ^! s" N% Z& @5 C
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
/ l% R8 F9 J, |) I+ N2 X- Rwhat we do.
1 v6 }- M. R8 [7 P% g" M+ w- h( A- ~Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.7 `; L7 N' x' r4 U) a' Q
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。 c! v2 }4 M' l" u7 y: R5 N
6 ]; D0 \6 X q1 ]+ ]( L1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
R! J1 @; @$ P4 H' J& i1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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5 I" T& n+ F! n+ Q5 w1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument." i8 O1 q/ O9 f8 m. f4 K
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.9 ?" o7 t: ~- U! M
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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0 \8 y) ], z2 `- I& z1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us7 x3 e1 {9 V4 h# y) H+ C8 z
to act like soap opera guys.
" t0 K3 E% W8 Z K/ |. `1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
3 ~5 i4 G/ M! |( w1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们9 w i6 A+ h% K8 _3 | ^, | ~
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
$ W$ J x" e2 n& n0 w; nmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.8 i8 b6 R/ J9 A& J5 ?0 e
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）* l, L8 V `3 y- |4 ]7 {, U9 Q
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
Z, M! t& {0 B1 c( z8 zdone. Not both." k7 Q4 ]2 p6 \$ |% L% r
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during+ L$ f5 v; K0 s5 C; ~) q
commercials.9 }0 q4 }( B' {* `1 Z/ R1 }
8 R/ [- s2 G* m- k4 V1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.- O1 ?7 K a, I) X& Z' f9 g
6 m. H2 @: J. B1 J) d+ u+ X- f) [1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.4 H L z7 @5 d, X/ O
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.- e2 V$ ^3 E' P' y0 m5 ? D* y$ H
We have no idea what mauve is.% V8 j& y, v" n C2 E/ N, j
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
- [/ a5 @& V" anothing's wrong." n, m: G; l- j1 p: t3 K6 l
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! S% U( C' R# D* ~$ I4 s
6 D- Z m- `. p) z6 Y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
. e3 }0 [4 m$ ?& D: `" myou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is' O7 x) `1 a' w7 w) ~* _+ p
fine...Really./ E( H; z: {4 h8 {) |: ]5 A+ [
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
8 D# F2 ~6 U( ], h' k) _8 [discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf., e2 j, k1 c% l. h& K5 q. e% u
' Y- f* K0 a5 d8 \: J- p! a1. You have enough clothes.9 c- u0 k, I$ u' ]: q
2 K9 S4 l, g$ u8 N( z1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!1 E: A/ }# l4 Y6 A [: ?/ B. w
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1. Thank you for reading this.+ c+ X2 t5 {5 H
# R% O$ ~9 t5 `+ V) `4 |8 y Q% Z1 `Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
w; Y* z! H" V/ w ]But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.( W4 {4 F& c$ d+ k: `+ f
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
