 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
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( N6 o5 m* u, D) X1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
. R2 E! _! _ @, Q7 E6 J1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it; ~, l% H" A {% p7 ?9 {4 S) ~
down.
& u3 d. V6 f x# z" k$ aWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about & n& c- Z8 O5 h9 Q
you, H1 T# T- O0 X8 Q
leaving it down.7 l Y; |* z! @( n
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?1 z! s: n9 [. E7 U# I
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
0 ~9 P2 i. w7 H3 NLet it be.0 `0 | {, [/ X
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去( |- H' ~) r! k9 g
1 M4 R5 q9 y8 d4 y, r5 q1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it1 V4 Q2 B* _; }- w! a* V K# y5 J
that way.
- a: x- ^4 U; }2 P( U9 o6 H1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail./ s* @9 K; K$ j6 g
1,哭泣是敲诈
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* m/ Q S# s% b v1. Ask for what you want.
3 G0 J. g! `2 j" c; y6 WLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
) B! S, g# f- m0 H0 v+ `* E6 yStrong hints do not work!
% g$ |9 {' }: {2 E& MObvious hints do not work! j$ W* Y" ~8 ` ~1 D) u
Just say it!- u. s8 n% Z4 M8 O" \- ^
1,你想要什么就说
' G* _$ }5 d7 d" i0 Y! z我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
7 F% X3 T( x" u% N; vquestion.+ N/ K7 t! G1 g' F/ |+ p; [; Q
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)5 ?' z2 ?! i. K0 f( B
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's9 i0 r' S% Z# X. Z! A' v
what we do.6 H/ t7 d( e3 o8 W
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 w2 o' ]( L0 T1 Z3 j( t/ L% n1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.6 Y+ u! O+ F' ~0 P' e! _0 }
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument., b8 P9 q" c( y$ E$ I4 r, b3 {2 L' i
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.9 n9 n) n2 a2 V, p
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了 O9 I, ]/ t7 K
9 V; z8 `4 M4 v. @( g1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
$ H$ t6 h8 E9 |3 [. E* Y) O7 ~to act like soap opera guys.5 V |. T' Y8 F: P5 ^, r( }( X
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们 m! h6 @! x: u& E- x& R* X' j* L* c
2 f4 a' ?% Y+ n5 c1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us./ @9 X0 r& p" W2 j4 k% X
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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. g7 ]: Y6 k5 \: {1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways t; |- L$ E1 v! L' x
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.5 i$ G5 \) u6 ~: Q& D
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。2 T' R% F6 f/ r2 r8 r4 Q; |# h, h% v
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)# P& H" ~. m# x) X) g- c! K/ i( u
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it! h) h; D7 F1 ^8 _7 F8 m5 \: ~; F
done. Not both.5 s! Y- ^& H8 G! e
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.6 N- R3 r( J3 G9 {+ I
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
3 _6 X2 c, e: L6 ePeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
% J( p$ b" Y' G1 RWe have no idea what mauve is.1 g2 ^4 y! g O" g6 D* D# z2 I
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 @) E# [! b! ~6 }3 r; {7 t( z
; x* _2 v; g5 e( H+ r5 [& A1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
1 N; e! k l8 I5 N- ^( knothing's wrong.4 ]1 ~, R4 G/ z/ F; {, q9 L2 P* a
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.* W3 H6 C* [& Z' X3 D
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer3 ^3 d+ C" o, A' n
you don't want to hear.
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7 h7 _$ M( Q, P3 ~4 r1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is3 l6 F8 o5 U' E1 u% M
fine...Really./ ~) E5 ?7 p5 x# v8 |; e. }% f2 t2 R
' @ [/ P( E5 ^. k% W1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to" p8 W' D4 _* C& p' _: `0 g
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.- W) V# O; c0 U2 ~& S% \# e
0 p, p3 H2 {# u; \; N1. You have enough clothes.7 P8 G$ X( K/ M
5 h. p3 }$ T4 Y& T1. You have too many shoes.# H+ c: ?$ @" y. G# \3 c" ?
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!4 u/ ~6 C6 J# e: ^; @+ ~& O
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1. Thank you for reading this.& q; ~ ^( v' X; H: u, V
3 q8 w; |# Q' ^* pYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;7 R4 ]& S) D, w4 D
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.0 D: P: l/ E6 k* E, ]2 U2 @
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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