 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
, w. t2 n+ A$ @9 Q* D9 ]3 ?" d3 q请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写; V3 o8 Z, s* [0 Q
3 V D. l& h: @9 A
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
" U1 F }/ m u/ }6 Z1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫3 U. [% `- L4 C
* z6 Y/ |. @8 T7 W' t8 [+ M
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it2 A% Y, W0 C$ e4 K9 k6 q% q
down.4 U8 e/ F1 b* M; h$ u8 a
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about + I1 p5 a0 H7 s% {
you1 E( G1 }: i1 B# a
leaving it down.
- V3 J8 g% i; U" J* R1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?+ `2 x) C& S, U. b
1 y" \( {, o% V. {
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
4 b3 E6 O0 X3 I/ g+ X2 Q( `4 CLet it be.. q8 O' j9 q% M- \* K
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去& M5 H: E( `9 C0 G
5 T9 W: B% c, d* k$ I1 u5 n
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
& f# ^" N+ o' C1 s9 zthat way.- P% k, n# D1 R
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!- o+ o; L) a: o
6 V6 h9 S; m: U j: A$ i) E
1. Crying is blackmail.
% A4 z _4 r* `7 V1,哭泣是敲诈
* [1 g' V( j) k, W0 M: X: @% Q9 t. H% ~' V& N& C1 C
1. Ask for what you want.
) ]' y+ F% w. B8 yLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!0 D3 ?, Z/ j* @8 k5 |3 i5 U6 I
Strong hints do not work!% X) v( O# X4 a# {& Y8 ], W
Obvious hints do not work!& [3 Y2 L0 P) N
Just say it!
7 F- B3 Q0 F2 |# B ?1,你想要什么就说+ G7 C3 N4 |* ^: b: ]0 k- s$ `
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
1 }5 Y: r* i& g; ^' H
& z+ ~5 w& G6 Y' B1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & f5 b4 z K" f' w) p5 \) Q
question.
" W1 j/ b2 Y7 _; K1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)4 x2 I# w7 @) g
7 P. o; w' J3 ]# @* T# L1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
) S0 q- [$ N1 q' Dwhat we do.
/ Z) K/ L2 [% k9 Z& A2 aSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.: q* n2 S; y" x' }9 T. o5 Z7 t
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
h% n" a5 U+ L2 X! V8 S" g# M. I
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.. c# E- x! g$ J! T4 y
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去$ _( D9 H; V! @7 l# v" C
3 P5 ]' X9 @5 p, o' x5 H1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.! `$ `7 U- m! z& D& V% M
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. r4 u# e% X; e$ E* D; U
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
' `' ^' A% H6 h6 u* S* t8 R, B+ p! j: {$ c& L/ j+ d0 r( O$ S
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us9 y. Z$ _4 N# Q
to act like soap opera guys.
* x7 d) X2 ~; l: L% n1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们5 m c9 y3 u# C0 R. B6 r1 A
& z8 k% ?/ T" D; Z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.6 t6 f$ ?% H# S; T
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们4 L! y# i/ _- P, d% L w4 _6 q
/ D+ b8 t* I7 E3 i
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
, G( V9 w- L1 l& X4 w5 k7 Xmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.$ o8 B% l' k: }* d& y. \
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
8 _7 O" l* I% v8 n( [. a2 d6 h( ?* G, c. |# K; f
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)% Z: y |6 T5 [; j3 \
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it6 y# p1 J( d4 m! u; s
done. Not both.3 l/ ?' G6 L3 T: y8 {8 I' P% T- j
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.) D" m# C3 N4 j9 o) I
" I) X; P$ ]* }6 a3 x' b) f v1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
$ [# p4 X& [5 q' R/ Y- Kcommercials.- {5 M* _& f' \2 ~6 G' r. X. ~
: B" B8 {6 S% E/ Y' G" J2 |1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
, S* E, o* R* F( H5 D
4 C6 M8 L. o! ~8 J1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.# Z% |& u9 u: s( k! h
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.) G# C! ^9 m* A( }
We have no idea what mauve is.5 z$ P1 P. ^. i% ?6 z2 c$ Z
2 |7 X0 s' L- w
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. a5 d+ S% X4 k$ ^- k
5 ~( d% l4 ` B$ y' a
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like$ g2 C- H3 e7 e( A$ o
nothing's wrong.
9 s! I' m% s3 b0 j# n8 jWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle." h* E* e2 ]8 ^
. V' u) e# r, m2 j# z# J( Q
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer2 i6 l; s/ I- f3 q6 i
you don't want to hear.) [' E& E2 V* G) Z' d
4 @6 N* A, G' q3 C' {1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
- Z2 [( L8 e# o8 R- P6 Kfine...Really.
, b, ?& v% Q; x( n6 [& c4 M, v5 H7 V/ D- W: G* O u" k# e
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to P; C% _$ v; [" {4 `% h
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.& p' l# c8 n+ K' p. t% `- H
$ X' m, L E4 [0 L1. You have enough clothes.
2 r$ O& c" G% S/ c, E) z( J i8 x( L: T% ^
1. You have too many shoes.4 R7 U. ^: i8 _( E
2 z1 I, j$ P0 ?' [
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!7 P9 l+ g, n3 Y2 k. t% R) l
: g/ c# t) |8 W1. Thank you for reading this.- C6 G* o( m1 j
% W7 [" N+ S7 y$ j6 _3 lYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
4 t# @- L% w+ x0 b) N- \/ |But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping., }" i M5 N9 W- ^
7 ?$ i0 W- l) @0 |0 [' _% D
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
- ^$ l9 g- ^ O& ^) B# h- `Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|