 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!& q# K/ e/ k& O- W# L, `4 @
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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. S2 G1 u& B d( Q6 t' z# P8 g( Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.2 i9 I- F1 W1 \$ X; J0 r
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
* ]1 g( w: D ddown.
8 A7 U& Z& |* ~# Y1 [1 ZWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 5 E+ Z) o) r, ?6 w# W
you. c3 Z+ @+ c2 D3 Q, o4 Y3 H0 P
leaving it down.# @: b# ]" Y p# I3 q
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
5 [, C+ m6 G2 U. P8 u5 B0 L8 @Let it be.) Z3 Y& d1 Z' ~5 B/ _# p7 j
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it, {) C7 s, ^9 z& D7 _. S2 o% \
that way.
, a" T* Q; t& Y3 n8 n, c1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.; K$ A9 V7 |( X$ n
1，哭泣是敲诈% c# X! w; ^! Q( n! H
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1. Ask for what you want." O! O2 Q! ^$ d$ |! k7 ^
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
/ I C' B2 R/ A7 d* OStrong hints do not work!
/ b! r' M- O. }! eObvious hints do not work!
2 e" n2 G- [: y- D2 L6 ]% CJust say it!4 y# C0 [# c; p8 A7 F( S( g3 `
1，你想要什么就说
& h6 e8 t2 I7 [, r6 M8 g" E我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！$ C" Y; C( N- z6 g8 ?1 Q0 b& t
# Z) J9 _; p8 ^1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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) }' E1 L0 j+ r1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's$ q% j9 B3 A8 p- {7 F7 i
what we do.
. ^$ S" i) j# xSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) |# E* o+ Q, z0 O* J1 h$ U
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。4 t0 y3 B$ o6 S( r# }
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor." q' P, f2 \. I5 n; C3 m& {5 y
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去5 r/ |- F+ ^* H6 b1 q3 O' ]
# j: V% m6 q! k6 |# J+ \2 E9 ?1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
' A# a9 L4 m+ p; O9 s% M+ ~1 LIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.5 d* e; c/ q3 u/ Z1 [" A; |
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, a/ d# N9 o# e% [. v4 \# Z
to act like soap opera guys.
- `0 V$ F) o7 i3 C+ N3 H+ E- `1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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" O* S4 R+ E5 X' J/ n" L1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.! G" p' c3 U; W& ~" b
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways( r9 i) r4 l, p$ @3 d/ x
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.9 J% t/ v& }& m0 |; J. P
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）* y- J& p- d1 [ x0 h
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
0 [" w u9 y6 T: a4 wdone. Not both.
* Z4 d7 U9 n C7 m! F* `0 vIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.4 `: P4 j- T! Y! }4 r
7 F8 J/ Z h* T: ]. [' l# e( d4 D5 N1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
+ }% |8 f% K2 {commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.6 n: y: Z/ ]4 l7 C3 ?* `5 T
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
/ x; f" v% r* i& D$ CPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit., p- c% B/ J' z: v, ]% x& X
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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5 {: Z) X. Y* ~" S7 z8 \1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like1 f# r* ?) ^/ c2 ?% k4 |- Y7 o
nothing's wrong." o: P u; T+ @8 \* J, s( R- C
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ N4 O1 \/ J7 A2 p. K9 o
you don't want to hear.; b; U" a& _$ ]2 `2 n. A
" A8 D5 {& G" {+ ~1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is( z- P5 ` X! L8 l" g
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
3 R* R2 I2 C6 R) ?, Xdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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3 ]5 @ D* w1 A1. You have enough clothes.
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3 O. d0 W5 _" L& y1. You have too many shoes.
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; H7 x1 ` ]7 s; S) l# ]1 o9 D1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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9 W; s% j; L2 ^. ]$ F- X1. Thank you for reading this.0 b3 ]+ A, d' ~% l# o' ^% v! G
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;1 i( e4 Y3 E. E: ?+ A
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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8 \9 w4 K) p2 S0 I! m6 _% `Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.7 z. m4 S; ~, ~* [) L. w
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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