 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
! z8 X& {" `5 ?, R3 s) j请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写. n6 Q" ?3 T' `3 a! }$ Q
+ b& ~3 ^) [1 A, o& @1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1 o# V0 _ `* K7 y3 B1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫2 V' k1 G z- ^2 {, p
! d6 F1 A% j7 U/ T! R. H0 ^1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 z3 @' a6 A- K0 @down. p' Q! Y% g& h5 _+ d: b2 t2 E
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about z/ H( N6 T$ @2 u2 e( W o' L
you
% n# _# n3 C, O& Z# f4 Oleaving it down.0 V6 A' V, Q: s9 L( O
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?6 Q k5 i0 J% A* ^+ I7 g9 u
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
3 l$ j1 N& Q R6 LLet it be.
( i( }' h+ q+ G5 J5 Z' B- M1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
* r2 F) |$ c9 @2 }1 Z+ }that way. ~& [" g9 z ^+ ~. ]8 Q( F2 @0 G
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!' l& F, Y' B1 L' b, O/ G
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1. Crying is blackmail.5 X5 w2 z8 E: [
1,哭泣是敲诈- f6 w4 Q. i3 ]) d: j
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1. Ask for what you want.
# Y a3 [: d7 y# J) r: M t4 tLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!0 z( V/ w! `4 P% \; F2 H* [
Strong hints do not work!0 y1 n4 J8 H% P
Obvious hints do not work!
- P' \3 K4 R1 i f% Q" fJust say it!
3 k6 ?& h Z: F1,你想要什么就说
" I4 m# S/ U! K0 s3 W* h- H我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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. ]1 z H. |4 s+ j. Z1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + A. n) g& _9 K7 }, v/ \, a
question.6 k7 n4 E }+ t! a5 J
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)9 N9 R3 ~" _3 Q/ E ^: Q
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's) K8 }. Q/ C# q K8 R0 H1 c
what we do./ P+ O. C% l. t$ \0 }
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
; Z. K1 X& F: }: K k& J1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。. E' I& j, s) D6 h, B- u
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.% Q `, G! m4 ^8 L" k" k" o
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去" a: `, `8 x. d5 y- _
- d5 n5 h' n: c' X1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
' m8 C/ `* k% R8 d& z3 P5 qIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
" S' H3 Q- K0 V; X! J, w5 p5 n& I我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了, W2 K8 H4 R" Z7 F) S1 c8 [3 _
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
5 U5 ~4 p, j9 T, ]( e; b' gto act like soap opera guys.- b+ _) h( B% f) T. M
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2 o9 ]7 c' D; c+ u" { r1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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6 r0 F& M: ]# v T1 h$ m; Z$ U1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
" ]6 N" z; l# s7 K Q6 dmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.; Y$ \* F& e) b0 ?! j, _
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
' e6 R, f- l' q8 ]" A1 q1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. J4 {8 i; V' _- p
done. Not both.. y n6 T* B$ i4 m
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.8 a( P: m9 L U( D/ E: R m
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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8 i) p5 J) D0 t# B" z; x$ v1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( S: A/ l; C* N9 @# L; ]; i
& n5 p. k$ D! B, L$ U$ O1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
1 H6 X* o8 J, U) J" O" {" |" nPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.$ z! Q0 @# n* `+ X: ]
We have no idea what mauve is.' n3 f& s( W. w; I: u5 N
. |9 h% a4 z1 F1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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8 [5 h( e, K2 F* o+ Y* ^1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like u7 ~9 l- u$ i, R$ h4 o5 ~" b3 ^
nothing's wrong.* G8 H$ Y0 L4 ?' K
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer* b6 n8 c( u) Z3 D
you don't want to hear.* ]5 I- ~. [ J0 E' Y% ~4 C
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
2 y. @( v7 S! T% \$ {1 F3 L' l3 pfine...Really.
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# N" {9 N$ v0 U; k( f: n1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
l# U5 S3 T! @$ udiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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" b6 G+ V. D1 L1. You have enough clothes.5 A9 z5 J* `) K1 D( ]) X
& y2 \ B: o9 w: v& e1. You have too many shoes.( O: i! \4 p+ V8 A. ?( O) F
( ]9 |2 L( Z2 ?& b7 D. r) J& o1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this." W7 F% g8 i0 Q+ R1 v, Z; r6 l
0 d! Q) }( z8 Z3 L3 _5 PYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' F; f# [) W! D+ u3 y" yBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.) y2 ~, a' L8 R7 y$ N: W& [* l
2 O: I' D. U5 R7 }" F" E( O/ |Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh./ q7 o. i: Q8 ]
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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