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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. 7 R8 d$ K7 o: k2 t# H4 `5 _2 i2 ~
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. - Y) ]% x- C" I3 |
, q1 B0 @' E8 y2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . 9 J% S9 L5 p, @9 q7 A: j
4 B; Y! _8 p! B6 v. q; U5 y3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 3 o9 ^( I& H2 D, C( D1 ?9 H8 }
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 0 D# u' V4 D. B9 n
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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; _1 c& i2 k a/ O3 |6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. 4 w% U L2 `' C$ ?0 m) p
& h; r8 b) s# P1 E5 V( E ?7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. ; E. z$ u. o4 T* ~# K) @# k( e7 a
5 r2 v& y% Q+ G, n8 s0 A. r6 I( N8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. 9 V& J& y# _7 e
$ j5 W" F. b/ c; L; u x6 | T: G9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. , ~& W; T7 `8 s" x. j. ~. k
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 1 C& {8 z: S W8 _" v9 O
! y5 L+ k3 X# j: N12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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' V5 a* x0 D. ~: [2 `0 b13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. - X4 V1 |0 x: f) j$ V [* h
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. 6 d9 p0 N6 E; M
" B% j! d- F; a/ c) D16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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