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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! }5 V/ a) X5 z6 f% Y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 I" @1 c, I4 }. T2 ?
the other possibility.
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. E* O# C' W6 R) l# Z; g- i: Z3 o, VAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! n6 B# U; T) I! a8 \4 x
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( @, b/ C* W7 g* jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 ^ b, E- ?7 h# z9 x0 |# W- m
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% u8 d4 ]$ s9 I0 m, n
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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b- {% Y+ o) }1 x% P, q8 jThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ p5 C, s5 e/ N7 C3 n/ \
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- K4 @% l b* `# i
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; M* J0 m0 U J$ e, y+ T9 |There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 [! _. K/ @; m2 d% G9 }, ]
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
& z+ ?5 Y( _' \( B& tfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ g* j7 N5 N2 ~* a5 _3 @reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. s; e& }5 S% T @" V- [
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: D. h" z: m" z( g" x; y; @ben a deterent to akurate speling.1 |- ~( O- g8 g
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! W3 E, z% {5 i& z# V ydisgrasful and it should go away.0 \9 [! t; n7 K$ g
; s6 P# ~$ G$ C; X3 r; L9 RBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with! }$ j" |8 _, t2 r+ q- T4 V; O# S
"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 H) q9 r' A9 z% U, t; {& nDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and9 f" d: [8 G# O& C" B9 W- I
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' q" t2 x9 Y" n9 ?7 I7 N$ T1 x7 [
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: q& a6 @4 C* g) G5 ]) z9 I; ^
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. y" k' _1 R- Q* G; `, a8 P% MUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) S& p2 j% y! w$ ?
forst plas.9 k" |5 t6 [3 J, w. V
8 M8 u. `7 F1 Z9 u/ \: Y, QIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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