 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I5 r+ O) f* U2 a) e+ f. l! GI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) F6 K o, v- ~) G0 P
. P8 v1 I4 S1 B+ H/ cI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 @- ]9 {1 f8 t( g) j' V"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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+ v1 K) {4 I4 `- y! ^And the second one was:# q( c: ^ f, Q& f# m$ V( M
; j: D* f3 D8 b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. {) H; H% ^- ?! {, I. t* ["What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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$ C' m- u- b9 C: D+ cI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!0 ?& f: T% R% r0 B9 t
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 q0 w5 X2 e$ G/ R- W) c7 r7 h/ ?" H) s" o
/ u% w' @9 O5 M# F* S1 x$ R2 ESo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"6 G6 L- W4 G4 @- h* @
0 _& s2 F0 L5 `5 rNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# Z4 g6 a5 _/ X
. ]/ b8 ~' c3 lThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.( Q; e& \0 p5 r4 `" s2 [ ^
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Thank you very much!
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3 G! a9 t m5 q6 G c9 n==========================
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5 _& U+ w4 O# _' ]" ZImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.. |' i8 r" `7 E6 W$ W$ r1 Q
! Z9 m) ?" m2 \3 q9 t$ ?$ r' ?2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ g& v: P/ a2 n
, V) L9 ]+ ?! V6 ^# e"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.! M F6 w) F# d' J& _. C- a& O
4 ^( l) _ v7 }. F; n8 lJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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& Y/ ~; h" ~+ a- S! O! pRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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$ e8 i" U$ s0 e% q$ D' gThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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