 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.3 ?1 b5 i; x% s, Z1 a g
1 ], B- V3 Y1 p: `I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.4 s" K' i& h# G+ |; t ^# `
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 @# K* v2 U, j+ }/ Q) z5 f+ B
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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: P: ~+ U( W3 H"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- a! K* b" e; h- ~' ~6 C2 g
7 ^8 a# S7 R. RI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:4 g+ G+ z& x! B: B! B9 k+ z0 k
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?", D1 F3 d* o4 Q2 x0 Y
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ {3 X; o' ~0 Y* Z l, `1 _
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 m7 D: Q+ i5 I
% g- {6 p7 `/ w3 I. l# KI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?( {) }0 y. ?" Z
" G: B. v' g+ nI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ ~" F9 r# s$ e) R
4 n6 O. ~ E. O6 [! Z' W' M3 z4 d5 [+ _I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 T; j/ r* P' b" i' K3 o6 W
. U A+ h6 h" e* Y9 U# g' ZSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"% p1 d3 a6 n% h5 [9 b3 |+ j
# x( u) S6 S. J) cNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”# e/ _) k1 g5 r$ o
. J3 Q' W. |7 d* }This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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0 P5 @8 ^( I2 V+ DThank you very much!! @# _" F& E4 l" v3 H6 Q( _: n+ U
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* b4 J+ v) D% ?: g/ E) y9 s: a1 pImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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5 @7 k# V: {; u$ p4 U1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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. s% Y$ v& C: U: \; L4 r2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.1 `" M9 c+ N D a% p# k; g G
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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, a6 Y3 L7 a) [$ m6 d+ _- x# i5 b, @Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ I- y P# s) Q9 E) J$ n
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 F5 D2 y4 j: Q! }$ I
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
