 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.: z- G" \% H, W9 w* f
6 n: r# v1 \) q3 U& q6 \ pI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 X3 o) R9 F0 U- m2 M1 A2 V9 `5 q
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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( P9 Q8 p8 R) ]"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"3 P- g: u; W! N8 f) c
, u* J2 f( H5 F6 G# u: m5 ~* yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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& a# L* n& F/ |- z' I+ q$ @And the second one was:
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* C6 Y- X5 W) I/ S# C"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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* g. ` Z' Q o. v9 Z. U9 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# {; e. E6 G7 [- s& A
' J! V8 l9 X) Z. [/ R"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 ]6 M6 r# i! k2 Q" G
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": G1 v g b( v- l9 [2 j
3 R: l7 W5 ^( f9 a6 |* q INow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.9 J' H) v5 ~0 X) \* n) X
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Thank you very much!$ I: `5 }: O) |+ r) j- d+ C$ M
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. w; T9 [( P) N0 f dImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill. z1 M3 i. _* U9 r: y* n2 z
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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% s7 j( i" \# m+ h8 i2 Z3 @"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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. n* ]0 S* u7 oJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 B v/ Y' G% _, Z$ D- y
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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" c" G6 }: f! x* z! G+ EThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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