 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 B9 `' u/ {9 m$ S& s q
2 M0 t3 \, H- l1 A% A7 l7 |I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
3 A: F: p( l$ v% b
, V( r/ y5 ^5 i7 n/ |) g pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
5 }2 Z$ Y, ~; p. d5 L" G2 M2 Y3 F: V8 t! O; b0 Y
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 v. S8 q c+ y% a0 K
+ \$ t8 m/ o2 M# T# l) y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
6 J7 {4 c+ o o& A) l- c2 L0 q2 a
6 B1 M6 ^6 O- E, r% ~2 B; `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 o" Q! Z! }. x
5 |0 t; l* c6 X; }, ]$ I" F' p+ ?
And the second one was:6 F: i- G* _! @, S0 `) i- B
* @1 f, H$ g j5 C M# A u% Z"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
" T' Y# Q! |+ P8 W% R
) I& A8 Q) r% Q. wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ e" _' X! ?" [1 b4 }! n$ j% t9 C
* k) b( r, B( x6 s* w0 |
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! _1 ^+ N/ Z5 }/ c" R, [
' }+ t/ ?% d s4 k" r: BI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" g9 d5 a3 ~3 K1 W" ^, C
6 X* K$ v' e2 H" ~. h+ k8 E3 mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" m& O4 X8 G/ v) Z9 G
' t2 h# i% ^- ^$ `$ tI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& A% |4 G9 b. n. H# M: Y
/ I, U( x. F3 H/ S( S4 wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?". r/ m/ ]4 y5 O; F- A% F
( @) T0 T7 K% g# `3 ]% q1 ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" C$ a$ J! T+ `* [
7 a6 H( u5 X5 ^9 K+ h
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
6 `( d, b: G8 @# s9 ?. i! ?' W: n" x3 I z* ~5 A# [2 s; E
Thank you very much!
4 C) R2 m. F( G* |! @
4 g9 O6 l+ p1 d; P+ r==========================1 _/ r6 g G2 L2 u( o* }; K1 A
$ l! W) M; p' b3 yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' ]2 h( P5 P6 F5 b8 v
! ~1 G. X, p9 W; C& i* a0 ~" R
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
% A! ]+ V! S4 L q
1 S( \) x1 X/ E: d9 A' m2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
3 }& I0 q* z0 y% j2 w) E$ n4 ^: M2 O+ B9 `
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.- O8 Z2 M+ u: p- O' b! ]4 T4 u
! z0 O# ~/ f* l1 J! p
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& A7 Q0 c3 m, r4 K3 E8 \# N* q
; I$ ?- O( K4 F
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
y# |; w2 g9 {3 X5 N8 x1 P$ b0 p. l% a: l: t; ]- I4 R5 j, b+ u0 ~
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|