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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 B9 `' u/ {9 m$ S& s  q

2 M0 t3 \, H- l1 A% A7 l7 |I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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, V( r/ y5 ^5 i7 n/ |) g  pI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:1 v. S8 q  c+ y% a0 K

+ \$ t8 m/ o2 M# T# l) y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 B1 M6 ^6 O- E, r% ~2 B; `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 o" Q! Z! }. x
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And the second one was:6 F: i- G* _! @, S0 `) i- B

* @1 f, H$ g  j5 C  M# A  u% Z"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) I& A8 Q) r% Q. wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ e" _' X! ?" [1 b4 }! n$ j% t9 C
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! _1 ^+ N/ Z5 }/ c" R, [

' }+ t/ ?% d  s4 k" r: BI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" g9 d5 a3 ~3 K1 W" ^, C

6 X* K$ v' e2 H" ~. h+ k8 E3 mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" m& O4 X8 G/ v) Z9 G

' t2 h# i% ^- ^$ `$ tI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& A% |4 G9 b. n. H# M: Y

/ I, U( x. F3 H/ S( S4 wSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?". r/ m/ ]4 y5 O; F- A% F

( @) T0 T7 K% g# `3 ]% q1 ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" C$ a$ J! T+ `* [
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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$ l! W) M; p' b3 yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:' ]2 h( P5 P6 F5 b8 v
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 S( \) x1 X/ E: d9 A' m2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.- O8 Z2 M+ u: p- O' b! ]4 T4 u
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& A7 Q0 c3 m, r4 K3 E8 \# N* q
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
2 Z3 F# i+ Q( f- Va young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。) _1 y/ {& @& J+ N. i( L
怎么理解?
' t0 L* [( p- q+ h  W0 s; w3 }50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。) ~- x3 c# Z5 J! e
怎么理解?: b: Y6 _, |; H
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
# r  v- G4 [0 |% ?3 i# rcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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: }  t: l: D5 M1 p- S& x0 q我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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