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6 `1 i8 M' V5 P9 I/ C6 TMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# Y: D9 K& ? bDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa+ e7 j2 y$ S' u
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4 r" w K7 d6 t1 Z' m8 o8 dJOB DESCRIPTION:8 D: T+ M, z a. F, s9 c
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 \9 m( G8 z, ]7 h4 M; s* y2 t6 bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ Y; c$ T& a2 h" Q1 ?- h3 Z: bCandidates must possess excellent communication * }$ m- m* P z' X; Y% R
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- {9 R3 b! v4 A) g! xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 4 @' o( w' d( H2 B6 L
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 N+ ] E4 x- ~5 h3 q. ]( bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 Y; V( L9 O4 H) [, T& X5 wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) Q8 s% L0 t/ [3 I( d4 q% }endless sports tournaments in far away cities! & Y( I6 R) C( L2 L/ S
Travel expenses not reimbursed. $ C4 R5 d; C. r! `6 X2 H- L) Z
Extensive courier duties also required. / `! n: D- U2 b
- b; R7 c- P) D, {& [; ]RESPONSIBILITIES:, O" P A# E: l3 D4 n2 Y1 q1 ~
The rest of your life.
% u) S. G! ~7 S, z* @" w _Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 6 Y$ f5 |# i2 `; p4 X( t, k
until someone needs $5.
. N! J( d1 Y4 N5 I |" W! b/ gMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( i9 Q1 {# q Z4 J" r$ v# ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule % t- j/ D3 f" I5 A0 V0 s' d5 W
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; ]& A4 o! U* C5 Qin case, this time, the screams from + L. g9 i+ r. W l' p. {
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 9 R+ Z- P& }2 ?/ E$ Y, B* o8 F+ ]3 }( Q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, - Y# I6 }: [: R8 _
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& w- i) K+ Q0 N$ y! Nand stuck zippers. ! I, c! S. j# e: ^/ ^& K+ T3 b& p
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( c9 i7 t# d5 v# Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects. # q M5 Z, X$ N! P
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% z1 t8 r1 B* E: HMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, # N% m5 {, {# k r' n, V" v
an embarrassment the next.
' d- q* K9 I7 b6 J% O' lMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 ~* f: I" \6 |2 A# P5 E1 x: ?1 uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ' S! c0 I1 H, T1 Z. p' i/ e
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 4 F7 k9 F# m! J) p, d2 H, M3 B) \$ v
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ s9 v1 {8 G& Lthe quality of the end product. " Y. k+ J- N' R' v3 _- A' V
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" F) `+ j0 z4 O! ijanitorial work throughout the facility. - x, _! d! G& {; H: T6 a0 b
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! W' K; s& c. x2 u- vNone. ! N+ q6 ~2 x }4 v! z( g: T
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 6 y) |- ~% h; G7 T
without complaining,constantly retraining and 5 S5 B E! w X5 y
updating your skills, so that those in your charge # d, O0 F7 {( c7 a3 Y
can ultimately surpass you.& ]3 h' k- J' W
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, l3 V( q' N% B& ^3 ^* h1 BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; X; |! n- \* s) HNone required, unfortunately.
( \% @; a) d& A& J) qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 4 D/ c5 _8 x1 X3 _
# r! M+ Z- V6 m& q8 L7 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 4 f! E; T7 c- e4 Q3 M. H
Get this! You pay them!
! d1 Y% l6 ^" }+ V0 N; Z+ _Offering frequent raises and bonuses. & Y( _* v I$ V; w9 m
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 Y1 N5 c9 p- R% S: s! f& nof the assumption that college will help them
' v/ O$ d1 H5 H4 p! J4 _' obecome financially independent.
, c9 b A3 Y) `; T5 L& `& T( o5 rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 3 o0 K6 `- c9 g
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that . W! r& I4 L5 h$ P1 v
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& z7 k1 X; }0 n. bBENEFITS:
5 m! o) |$ Z7 x" }' WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 5 j& Y# x M6 c% N/ J) u' P
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- w7 I* ]3 \+ N/ b, |" lno stock options are offered," w5 j( s$ m5 ?# {6 f+ ^% r
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, * B* ?2 f0 g& H
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses - h3 g" t+ Q2 T: j% x
9 S) x% t9 s, K8 {; d( Efor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ T2 S ^* @# m; L4 m/ x( w
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 3 k" x. A; R+ @% n) y' [' d# ^& S0 e" k
letting them know they are appreciated 4 L; \( J4 r: o+ V7 g" P1 s
for the fabulous job they do... & Y$ j8 V8 ~! M5 E2 H! _) V5 P
or forward with love
2 V( _6 B I$ F$ Hto anyone thinking of applying for the job./ _8 x0 G {& a- q6 O
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
