Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 X# W, v  `: j, X! ]+ e) R$ l7 a/ x0 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 ~% x8 u! y6 D$ j+ {permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 s! A( \- A, B# Q/ _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& Z. Y$ ~; @; H+ Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 X) j- L4 K2 a6 M# r% }' m% gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ p* m) ]3 l3 e4 iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ Y3 P) L9 C' H  L2 I) j+ zExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! S4 O4 L. O: n( p) D% m# aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' M4 n. n; }' @$ z7 U: M5 Q) Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: T+ ^) C% R/ P: ]. a( \  |in case, this time, the screams from
# n+ l9 l" R! ~  w0 U4 @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: K1 i1 v% D/ i3 U  Yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 i( y. t% Y4 B+ y* DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! {0 p6 q5 p( p6 DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( f, T$ G5 c2 RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! o: B" Q/ y: `4 c! a. X* E; s. v% wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ S. Z+ [  c7 gNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


6 E7 I6 B" q! vPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 {6 ]6 l2 p% a$ J8 y- LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' @5 r0 ~4 ^8 E4 bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 k3 W- z( P4 L2 [" F  e5 @) `Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- q% r1 V7 d0 z# ?* W8 `' Eof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- V; c# m2 w7 C$ T3 ]2 c5 |3 G& H3 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ S! \( r4 D: Z3 m* uBENEFITS:
8 V" N  R  ?0 p! OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ `/ |* J7 _  f1 P- W  V  Qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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+ e* h& W; l; y8 n5 dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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. K3 n3 c1 T: l' _6 {- AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, W! p1 y5 g1 W) E$ T: z% Wletting them know they are appreciated
6 L8 b# x& V; C2 P. vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.