 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma # m; L. J1 t% y
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa3 W! o" U/ o* F/ O
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JOB DESCRIPTION:+ U5 b1 V9 |6 J, N* H
Long term, team players needed for challenging," S9 n& E+ ], E! _: t7 X1 f
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. " c7 L5 f! L3 M# M! ]
Candidates must possess excellent communication % ~8 v+ D8 K. y% ~/ y: a* s
and organizational skills and be willing to work 4 n2 D: I/ j& G% `
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 t3 G' V, v$ o2 zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) R" z6 o" k& G- JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" ?5 ~' o( I9 Q9 k0 qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and + I. C8 @7 B! j7 U
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 b$ ?: H: z$ X8 `% T, J/ {Travel expenses not reimbursed.
L. t* l2 k/ j9 \+ D, sExtensive courier duties also required. # ]7 p0 p( c% R$ G. T) V
6 e) _; j j" Y5 Z, q9 y" LRESPONSIBILITIES:' y; z+ `) d5 l- `7 Q
The rest of your life. 4 T0 g7 g% G8 d2 ]% Y/ b
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 [6 T- U" d! I1 n1 v. l5 Vuntil someone needs $5.
" N& k8 y; Z0 k( U: J# NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 9 J- A9 o$ |4 A- J1 }" f% Z) j
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ' G% U2 j. g' v7 ~* D7 @% w% T
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; I7 t. w3 ~4 Z/ l+ \1 jin case, this time, the screams from / U. o) z' z$ A
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 f0 F& o1 M9 }' A% vMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) O5 h- x* |) p8 q, ^! ]such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. u; i5 ]9 I6 K# B* P7 k; _( jand stuck zippers. 8 e, L- I4 C7 \1 c/ a- o$ X6 {
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- y& J- ^0 {+ f4 Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. " U; ]( f) l+ j4 {- s1 b) N1 l
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. + s$ C2 Y W4 I+ n: F) b8 X
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ; q9 ]0 | a7 S& i5 K
an embarrassment the next.
0 H9 L3 I5 Y9 SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 c1 R4 J: z3 U6 g; r" ?& Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. / C. h+ Z8 F [" O
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 B0 N. l) s! }6 W/ P' i$ NMust assume final, complete accountability for * e& x/ i8 M1 C; T
the quality of the end product.
& q2 L* \, A3 k' h; n A/ TResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 0 }4 E" y$ C! i ]( w* M$ S9 {, ]
janitorial work throughout the facility. ! ^$ D$ w( G( ^+ E5 i+ P/ C9 |
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:$ B1 X: t! V% E0 l' V% S/ ^$ F. A! ?/ d
None. , Z7 l- V# t; h. D$ A' S
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: r" U, P4 \2 L( _5 D1 T2 L/ pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and ' A5 Q6 z- }1 r
updating your skills, so that those in your charge $ t) F8 R0 G4 O' ]+ b! A+ w
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: * G8 B( S6 l) ^
None required, unfortunately. ' ]: ]- q. E5 e& _
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 5 ~: q4 u5 X0 X0 r. C9 j
: @% e: c4 {5 c% t5 J* x, qWAGES AND COMPENSATION: $ v7 J" i \) ~ e+ N! t% o, W
Get this! You pay them! & V" j% z$ y3 }( S3 e" a
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 e1 W+ H! g, F8 ?6 O ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 9 h" O& B8 L5 y& v
of the assumption that college will help them
3 t" p+ Z4 ]9 o2 ?become financially independent.
) v2 C; B! y5 S$ [. DWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. n0 q# c, l' d- L }. z
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that : @6 s6 ^0 z8 I; L; T
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: 0 |) ]1 B. O2 h3 t4 i
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 R9 j( a" x! }% O Ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 A! _, f3 Y# y; cno stock options are offered,
# j: q. G2 g7 p7 Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses " B" d8 }% y& ?& t. o' K
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ ^6 R: ]6 m+ S0 v9 \- K' g, [
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" }/ [) X9 i5 X: zletting them know they are appreciated
& ~- J4 G* d. y4 ?& Z5 Mfor the fabulous job they do... 8 l1 C2 J8 f. g( Q8 ]% q1 ?) q
or forward with love $ D- ?( H/ V, I! z ^
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.. ?4 d4 N' h. W9 ^. ?: c0 U
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
