Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' n; d8 c/ \6 B( V# ]4 b! `# vCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 P% X) q+ h3 k* B1 Z* X$ I2 Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! b, k8 p9 x7 p; v# W% [$ G  HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# |4 d  K; o: [8 _! Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 Z, B2 l# c  G* pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 A% B% ]6 S" }) m  b  e4 vThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 h# u" {8 \9 f+ S  k6 J. Funtil someone needs $5.
& t& J. _! |2 b' A1 o  dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ N9 @# U/ w  ?# L  w2 G, U/ ]0 hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, o3 p% ]8 q4 f8 H) Q) ?! v* Gin case, this time, the screams from
1 o8 E: e' Z3 o( G7 M& x, Q; Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& B* h, W5 I6 \' o% B4 qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  }8 y! G& L/ D+ ~6 nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 G4 c" ]$ i) `7 t$ J: g3 |coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; T& v! ^  Q  d' QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: f1 [' Q' S  w; @* j2 P- p( H6 Uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" i% c. n# G2 Z/ }/ }: tMust assume final, complete accountability for
, z: T8 b$ }) j4 ?/ Mthe quality of the end product.
( \& s- ]5 n4 B. q% |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 G' m  s6 C+ A  n( nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' x: ?, i& ?4 lcan ultimately surpass you.


3 |  l! R8 i7 g: dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* q7 s6 A( V( J2 ^$ h+ @! [None required, unfortunately.
% p$ L) o+ \5 l# Y* E; E5 E( k$ vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% Y$ D- F8 f5 Z$ |# l; k* ]2 oGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
! J  H# A1 c) A: z. M% g: \9 Wbecome financially independent.
! w* t7 |9 z  i& a; E' |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 @; I) y3 \+ B% R( W! N. g  QThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: t8 R4 l2 u$ f6 t0 D2 l* Tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% |2 M) E' Y- v' F$ V+ V$ f6 r- ]BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; ]& h- m/ N' S8 ino stock options are offered,
7 y$ r9 A' S+ c( ^. ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, `& b: a# L/ s2 [5 OForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 f% F- Z/ @) H/ kfor the fabulous job they do...
& ]2 K  a6 V* ?: T0 J& j  Lor forward with love
' T+ _6 p: _1 w3 O( w4 I( Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.