Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* }9 i1 U$ y- ?4 ^4 r6 aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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$ Z- s. V2 P. x7 A5 }  Y$ j0 k( PJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ S7 i9 \  m7 i; X4 K# m4 yLong term, team players needed for challenging,
% }$ Z& D( Z- g+ j; ?1 T" w
+ b3 i: _* E% d. s  J. Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" Y1 n) z( h# z! xCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) i$ I% ?6 S; J! {' `4 `Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, h' ^- B6 s3 [+ Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 ]9 u# y6 D1 q; jExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 }( o+ r' {+ XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 ]  ?) W" Z/ `; Wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 }$ d4 b3 g/ N. |1 J) U- X: }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 w9 K0 ?' X: S) v4 jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) p3 r2 K  m3 R3 v0 m3 \coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% B: g6 x2 W" `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' {* |+ z( N5 G* i( x6 aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 |" f# ^4 F+ o8 Y, b2 s! k" G: pan embarrassment the next.
$ S5 k# [0 L+ [- ^8 f3 i6 ]& IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, C: T+ Z! o9 Y$ l  chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ l  S0 G1 s" `, O7 DNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ Q0 u& Q' ]7 |without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% z3 s6 o, j( R, K! h* Ecan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# T* _4 q' n  X& Mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 @) R$ b5 ?9 [; b; myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
5 b0 E% d" b% z) sWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" ?9 U$ U- o3 o* c3 kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* e/ ^& R' L4 S* M
% }9 A6 a; Z0 [' kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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. v. F5 d  h# E+ k8 i0 u$ ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- j$ q4 G& \( m' |. f0 {Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ Q, y+ G# @* T: |: Mfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.