Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 P6 v# ]; E. v% r! N0 Z% EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
: l5 {3 u* X9 bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' I8 A7 ~8 a7 B+ t& g2 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* Y% n' G. W) H' P6 N" j# g( s) N2 {) Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 X2 B9 I. @; ^6 ^+ o4 ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: ]' z( Z- M3 Q" V- h* rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 K( |: f1 A$ o% R5 f0 i/ Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 x; e. W8 f% E' Y% XTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
, q! N8 c- w1 `4 E- x7 X" h# _' ~$ ZThe rest of your life.
  d+ v* n/ |) V6 @5 c. p, m+ yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 W, c% Y& j: E0 Z! Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 e+ o( F8 V; c* z3 ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, \" a' f/ }- W2 [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 s3 i7 l6 w; `7 C/ y+ jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! ^+ a  p% o5 X, U% n' A) d' Gand stuck zippers.
3 J( i( A3 X( VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 M: U$ x, F% ]( T! C+ a  A" \- t5 Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 Q- T& S; A1 Z* X$ o8 ?; f- MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; Z0 C. q  u, J2 p: [an embarrassment the next.
* I( L. x( n  o- Z2 n$ XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, C. w+ z& S! n, b* P% p4 ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% U  [& p/ s4 J! A# v6 K  w. XMust assume final, complete accountability for
. L* n! J% E" `) ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* m* L# H! s. hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 }4 `' \* X' Q2 V/ M) jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ k: G$ |/ W2 A9 r( t7 Y, ONone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: k, i6 z" k) B" }7 s7 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# O% o( ^4 D6 Z* L9 h# M) h
) Y3 `: s5 j  w* w1 yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ H. d9 u8 d# m( M9 P- Gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, A  L7 i$ n/ d7 E& n; l/ j! UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 |( |, Z. _3 S% W9 ^. _The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 A8 b  W  B4 z5 w* |2 l5 lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
$ l$ h8 J1 c3 S/ g
: c& @; F$ L' f' Q/ ?- E( NBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
! O/ F" J+ B0 s' Z
for life if you play your cards right.
& ?+ s7 a( \# \! Y) d8 ]
# k8 Z' T3 Z9 S


" i% v6 y5 R0 f! l& w* m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 o' A9 s6 M" p9 d- G) e
* ~4 {1 B8 ?+ C7 V, R/ ^! s* B5 V
& z6 A- V. d/ h/ {3 {6 ]5 ^
5 M& |' u  m' ^4 u7 J- nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! U! [! f; o8 Q' nletting them know they are appreciated
; X) p- P. `1 G* t+ P7 B- i9 afor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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4 N; ~4 x* j, d. {2 _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.