Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ L3 Q6 @6 U3 Q: |/ U+ b  c/ PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 E2 j5 B7 }- c1 R( B% BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
" b6 Q! G6 ?8 E% n' U0 g. S
  }1 e4 k5 V4 X2 i+ I9 j' U
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
5 h8 _* o3 P5 P7 T. J
  N7 a9 U; `" T5 bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 x! O7 w% x$ K7 C& \Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ L' ?( n) h, h) h6 h4 ~Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
$ k: |; Z+ Z- G+ v2 ^
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 R+ e$ ?* R1 L* b9 [$ [; @3 j: ?until someone needs $5.
7 C+ P. k  [% M# e" wMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 J" P- L$ R* ^* }Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 S. {: }* f6 n$ F" v4 _* ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 V$ M( x* L! E( F! W$ Y% qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' [% U: ]; Y% f! S8 P. D- PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" L( T& v1 |0 a8 R. qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 I8 G; E6 o9 N" x. G% DMust assume final, complete accountability for
2 Y. H' h4 S9 T$ w; L! C& xthe quality of the end product.
) R2 ^3 ^, b6 R7 e; [9 IResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- m; W+ t% x% B" w7 ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" S  E) s' V  J2 {None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; j3 |% J& T# r6 V9 r- {without complaining,constantly retraining and
- `3 g4 x8 |# N( nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 L2 G& i5 m8 P7 W" S" C/ w% k0 Gcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ E  `) v  u& y1 Y* ?of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: Q8 {. q( L% T5 y9 H# Gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
* [- _, e" e! AWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 ~& G0 j: f; A8 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" _# }' ~& V$ m" r5 R; Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 ?) S1 U9 h) e, R0 B' x/ dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
# i4 ^. c, F0 N5 }8 r: }
for life if you play your cards right.

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: g: m# M2 I" i  c$ \8 ?  A# L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" s5 `+ a( r$ l% b/ D( BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
9 Z: C, {& j2 ~for the fabulous job they do...
, A: c3 f& W' [8 q" }6 mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 W( }9 o- l8 b& x) G) m

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.