Crazy English! Zt

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& |4 ~3 p2 E* ?& t% kCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

/ B1 m! J# ^) V& r0 MYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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1 }% q' p- l0 C8 l0 O) G! |Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

* ?* g) T$ V* G- u( Y8 [2 ZLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

5 [: ~: }9 I- G8 I9 q' A7 zThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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( l1 L+ w, n- K- G% V! ~& |If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

! U# M3 `* V: ]/ jIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

6 [, [  d+ x7 A1 V9 \6 mIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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+ h5 M4 ^! S6 m/ h  @4 ~Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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" [) A: S8 `1 f3 aHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane