Crazy English! Zt

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7 J8 `5 b- ^) X& }Crazy English!
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) x! R' R8 D" B: j/ Q" u, _- i' BWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

# k4 e! ~8 |& E# l( H- t) W, FYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

1 f- G7 B; Z, n$ m  [0 N# a7 s% GIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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2 Q8 \$ H: G. R& r7 _We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

* i* H- L) @' \# |8 c# dThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

3 Q/ |  m, x' `) L" s8 vLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

8 w$ G! y, ~8 H4 MDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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1 A7 U6 M2 q+ E' g/ ^1 J4 mIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

, ?  W! [* T9 }8 s6 UIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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. j2 l! @) L6 B  c2 D6 J8 v9 iIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

# Y  G4 p/ q8 Q0 @- uSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane