Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT
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2 u2 M; E$ u9 X5 J4 `) r- [Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

' |5 {$ }2 K3 _$ M& j% i0 E7 mIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

5 P. j) Y7 @5 e+ `Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

' l* N4 p, ^' B4 _  M0 o: TWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

) v" Q4 E& [( D" |- MLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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6 L. X1 Q6 t" ?( u/ T, ^8 ?There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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6 g/ n7 {! m$ Y% D% w8 pAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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+ o0 G/ \0 f; l3 w% D( r: m% PIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

2 H( R" ~/ i7 UIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

4 ~5 Y; e& m8 t+ z5 jIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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; |3 ^! H! {* h4 A1 \2 h6 JIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

/ n# F' g! ~# [$ k5 NHave noses that run and feet that smell?

8 n& }# t; G: Y# B+ T. eHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
. o6 ^# e$ k7 R/ NHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane