Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
3 c4 h5 \2 Q: c9 p; r* B" X# \> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
& B; B/ Z, \8 J6 ^( i> > > >little TONY.
: V0 B9 `" ]) N+ E& C> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
  Q) k; k% L6 U2 E2 L* _1 d> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
" _  f/ u) s1 [+ H> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
6 x3 }/ h8 c9 x: B> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
& |- M! ?9 W* @6 R3 r- Y>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
/ T  b0 x2 {3 H# n1 ]> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
, q5 V( a$ I$ {- M% G" q> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
+ o% A6 w) x$ c8 E) u7 i+ ~1 ^> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
; S& m; w- g3 \) d0 n> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
7 O) ]2 o* R. ^- v> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
9 `0 ?7 H, K4 {  F7 N> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
) r6 @# }' x6 g" P5 I. z& T3 z> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
6 u# [) v4 ?  ]' d8 k> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
4 y6 L+ u/ ]4 p7 }' W* {> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
' V7 ?2 r: ?+ u+ T+ A+ ?' R5 r  ]> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
3 e& `% [' p5 s/ U2 a# P0 N> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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- b& Q  Q( Z  N5 V> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
( X( O5 y2 y6 Z1 D> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
' z9 y9 P$ K- O  O6 y> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
7 Y& v! c7 r( Z0 B9 _> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
% c9 ~* f$ V2 R> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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& u5 i9 }3 Y0 K3 w/ A- J> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
3 h3 a, f+ F7 k7 ^* @7 \3 R4 D; k! \2 G> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
. Y# ?) `! p* A( }> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
% g4 v2 g) [: U- x$ [& R: m8 M> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
; B& T9 K) B6 w  b' A> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
, t5 W' W# H  u, U" I  g& V> > > >beautifully."
* G+ R8 n: ~: F+ x> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
% t- w: I; G$ c' m> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
% k7 p( u/ ?' a+ [5 `6 b! L> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
+ Y4 @/ t( n$ c: G" O3 w> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business