Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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/ o; O, u& K7 p0 |> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
1 e/ x6 c7 z. O' q> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
$ z; S" P- n9 J" t> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
+ U2 s$ x* H* ?: h* f$ k> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
& V& \1 h. X* A" H7 s1 C+ j. D>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
$ f% j7 x, x8 O0 M$ k> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
4 {6 G* i6 u$ ?! g> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
) ^$ q- o7 A7 g0 m> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
9 e8 \+ P" I+ O> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
9 L* {9 h1 s1 I4 B0 i3 L$ n> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
( w6 h9 E+ B/ o% }> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
- L" B" _) z+ @9 V$ |> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
$ M" K1 v0 I8 G% j& Q> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
4 H- n$ m- i/ b6 O/ I4 _# _9 A$ \# _> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
- E( Z# F  C& J' T" L> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
2 ]* k4 r6 S' ^" W7 z6 P  L# {6 C> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
> > > >
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6 U) `+ }( z. o' t* J4 h> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
; _5 e8 ^& t/ f+ X" I3 o> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
' I! ]; P* B8 B9 z" v> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
$ f, A$ M- V) W% `2 o% [. f0 H> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
; y  n( l9 q# S/ G/ V> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
% v/ d$ Q2 D0 H! Z> > > >allow
8 V1 m* `# x( F( w2 V> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
. J) G& ~8 [. a( H2 h> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >
! M4 a' q/ Q! U, |/ S0 D0 i> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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9 U: _: s4 w1 T# A& z" r> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
4 _1 N5 U4 H4 k- _- |6 ~! q/ |5 o1 d> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
% E) |2 r" P2 @. @6 f> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
5 U( ?! x. v( f8 A: ~: Y> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
: T! W1 |2 [6 A- r> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
& O+ P; V2 R" t  ^* z# L> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
! X* B* [; k! W* o9 B> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
' @5 _% D* E* `9 i. B> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
- E( e( Y( ]% v+ Y& Y: J4 e8 z> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business