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% Z: e# Z- C" M5 R1 Q- `Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
( O; d* \, D% K2. Mostly to clean the house. 9 T+ x. h7 r8 o
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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8 i9 M4 d" c& p) l3 I) Y) }How did God make mothers? & `( j, v r( j+ r
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
5 {* O& y/ k6 T4 X5 h* p4 C2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
, a+ j+ A7 ]7 U, b3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. $ V% p" `- d8 D$ a' D, o9 j7 G
. ]4 U- G5 W* N9 N j/ ?$ f$ aWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
1 C, s3 c* r% o1 d& b% \' _* \1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. V& u0 a9 l9 N
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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( a3 z$ w/ T! u+ \! Y; H5 R N" OWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? ' t0 ?, w V8 i
1. We're related.
; V; S9 C. j( E( z2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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/ i' D/ ^( J, w* K" v/ P2 [# pWhat kind of little girl was your mom? % F- }1 g8 ?( y+ P( \4 q
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. " x J. g/ X. N5 U4 N" [# i
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
' H( Y' l# X1 b# X3. They say she used to be nice.
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+ m$ B7 }8 ]* Q1 AWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
/ N! C& U, E2 G& C1. His last name.
+ S0 U. e9 P. h9 Y b4 x2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?0 W, H7 z. Q. h2 d- ]" E
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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- g: T8 |& W" E1 H, N8 mWhy did your mom marry your dad? * D& f$ g2 f! e9 M
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
: t3 b' T, V `7 f, G2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
& y3 M3 [; s( g5 @1 |3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. $ E' ~- J8 ^4 N, R$ {2 M) H
3 {% H) ?; n( i9 P! C! q" N, ^# X" ~Who's the boss at your house? . [( y) x9 a# c3 J0 Z6 _
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
* @4 P' ]% i, O- l# r8 ~" y2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
8 t. y; i/ @/ D# a% P4 _7 q3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ! q* K" _ [; L$ a$ N
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What's the difference between moms & dads? 1 U, w. e1 R# w8 \/ F/ W
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ( H/ l1 P+ {8 k3 Y5 @% u3 ?
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.& f, M4 L( f7 o( I& v0 ~
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
3 ?6 s$ f( x) y1 E4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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P1 _1 M/ c/ o8 a: OWhat does your mom do in her spare time? 4 @( ^. Y+ ~0 s/ ?/ b
1. Mothers don't do spare time. q6 l6 j; Q- @3 q2 X/ F
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ! w( G/ U6 C* _7 _0 d
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
4 y8 r, j6 V8 u$ m' B4 V4 Z1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.4 L2 g4 Y* d0 m5 ^3 _! h
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 1 \( H h/ a! x4 ]5 p- b
; l- e# a U% ^( K) K% `+ L4 B% IIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
% Q$ i) ~5 M) P! w ]1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
1 O( J3 N/ q: P( s0 s! M2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
, U; Q* Y: ~# H% O+ m) {3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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