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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: i3 D- d6 L0 T' ^; i
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1. Bring your own house.$ E! \6 c Q5 u9 s F
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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( d( z8 [* F% C) v: q7 ^8 T 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 w# r* b V: i( }capital of Canada .
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3 g) r4 K; q, v4 d; V2 ^- l7 Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- A0 z; l% T" J8 ?. i+ M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 n# l8 o" i8 H: I; u/ \0 icapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
" E4 K- o" o3 `) K) i$8.00/hour.+ q3 r/ Z- M" t9 b! M1 p- t9 {
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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3 U7 Z- w2 i" ~8 x# E6 B4 z1 [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas t+ D* v7 L3 l
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 W3 H( c6 ?2 l+ l. | phere sick.
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3 h% D, R8 U/ J, D* @- T Z, ~( X0 L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 _& l3 @ k$ Z$ [& Fyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 f0 X T6 O# E9 x9 Q- p THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* i2 }3 ^+ T W5 q7 p N; S2 m- X# U* \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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4 y9 N2 n2 f7 i1 w2 F/ V. Q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: c% ]0 S$ e7 u) ^. y' L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 y' v! m; v$ e/ |7 S& Q7 e0 G& ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" ], a+ E) r: \7 N. B7 |% O; qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( u0 \+ }. m- t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.- `; f# V4 i9 [7 K* l- x& _ [3 L
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 d0 U7 L, P" i4 H2 ?' D( n; gcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 ~4 H5 z% q2 M8 F: P1 I# Zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- M: x, g6 D. e2 I! U ?
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ z: O7 I& a Z3 W3 b% f, X
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, a8 P( w3 c( @, C1 s0 Q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* ~6 \, n: [& v. I6 O2 X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( U& m/ o" {. R, {5 D) @3 J2 Z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( ^: }" K0 B4 {1 a) a% N7 ]
the same road.
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# r3 U2 }$ |& I9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 q3 u% Q$ q- v; o- q2 ?2 Kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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' _- O2 g5 F, ]. j* ]: Y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 ~' a o' p) X8 y& j r7 _( x
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 Z( S3 Q" R5 X4 ?- x* {accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 @) I( ]% j6 r* _7 w; z- |
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! o3 C, {& G8 e! B& zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. ^* c O9 r2 U0 D
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 p. L/ K1 a' ?1 @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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