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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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& O9 `3 U9 Z/ @) N 1. Bring your own house.
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0 g1 [) o2 z6 W [% ?% x. x 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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# }" G7 R+ J6 R) j( ? 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' k4 |% I; D( F9 i0 Q' x
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' H% P: t# v- x+ N# k9 @capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- Q' i2 t" E) _0 [& G) J$8.00/hour., l8 ?- K) T1 W5 r+ a
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 R9 m- s B+ `- e/ G t0 T
8 i/ H" G( c3 Q* v# w 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# Z# N3 q# p; ]9 i# P- P4 z( W: u9 W8 Z
on a 15 year holiday ?2 u$ C! O; V( E- @ u
x- D" p# T0 L) V; O9 y6 P- L4 J 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas4 b! Y; b ?/ `
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% p. i- i& I+ T& }& p M" k% B9 N
# g& d* W0 t) C' Q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 @: C$ E2 R! T3 m, X3 w6 J
here sick.' q8 }& |1 n9 g( V" B+ S' f' t
4 Q- m4 L* M/ y: g9 }" j11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 G% f" @ H% f a3 z7 M3 S
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. S1 l9 z1 P+ Z6 O" z7 T; J# Z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, W' k( k9 b/ K/ { x* f
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 |2 f, m( \5 E. u2 n5 |
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 P2 }: w ?& A. |/ a
( s6 j& S. C& P/ ? y9 P3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 z( M5 _0 t, @4 d# x- k/ h: Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 c1 Y2 D" y& z+ A( D5 Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. \5 a1 k9 d" C$ K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 Z' f" s# }) \$ y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, W1 U4 I9 c0 y; q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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0 d2 F6 N$ \/ W5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& J; r* c, O7 mcan get you shot.+ ?) u# A6 J4 q; Z4 |; a$ n: r& @
+ w/ R8 v; y$ D( N+ | Y8 ~' j. f% n6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- g; h$ B& x' F# i% Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ l, u6 M9 d- h# V1 i$ }
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; n1 K5 ]1 E: w: W1 U( Omore construction starts everyday.4 E) I0 s4 q; q |1 f/ q
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 _* w2 x3 _+ ?) v( V6 p; I9 N8 Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 [7 M% R+ B' ~) |/ osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., y% u: n" D! a2 w
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 }& A2 M3 |% e: C& D" C8 a
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 \( X$ L6 G. O7 q8 e& b( Y3 Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ ]8 K7 V0 c9 r. {10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 a6 K9 k* u* O* b K5 azone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
/ \& r; T5 S3 `' i: |" r1 \accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( o4 B3 r T# B( O/ xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% {- p3 v% N4 J" w+ p
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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