送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! D" t$ O+ x( l; s2 f% n 1. Bring your own house.
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2 ~/ H$ O% H; |  L) f% u/ t 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 Z$ x4 n* }. \hospital.

! r3 o2 Y; n9 n7 a5 R4 q% M 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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1 d# E+ p4 o: a+ K3 [* ]  _ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! `+ i, k! }6 `2 U7 b3 ^capital of Canada .

7 }" W% S: T# \" ? 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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9 ]4 m3 w9 ]- t  _: A$ {: V 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

% C2 k( A5 j2 G+ H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, `4 ~# ~. W( C* ]" a# aon a 15 year holiday ?

* r8 Y6 H. x9 g6 `8 [! W) h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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6 X$ B0 H9 l# v, ^. s10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" K+ n- x% I/ G% Y3 L$ S/ \! ^* ]here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) d# V2 @/ W! w& _years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

$ G: I0 D6 }2 Y3 {2 f, q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# P6 H/ L6 _6 L1 J) \6 g/ Pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; n7 m0 `, V8 i" V; F" T3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ B7 A# ~* g' q8 Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 m" u: u" R7 m" T/ |9 m; Wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ D# A( Y7 Q$ x5 X0 F) Hcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ ]3 f2 f2 h- O9 pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ F# Y- w1 J8 D; Z& |& mmore construction starts everyday.

2 N% l" e4 Y+ t" [  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' J* U( ^' h7 s; \0 U& }( Ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ D) B. U* ?6 C- v" K% L( i$ Q& g" gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ C. G! `2 Q0 l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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. U6 o( _* m% j8 i! U1 c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
- U1 f# m5 T! A/ }( F, B& J1 [. Gactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 o  d4 E6 w1 ]" e7 A$ l6 u7 waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

% W( b3 n1 J. B& R, \$ h11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. u9 I; l& R3 j* T8 H+ Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

" N0 z9 o5 V' v& W有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
. q9 n  C* d# ^, _$ X- n有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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4 S+ W- E" ]3 p此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
+ Z2 l# N. |# F# s" l8 B* V; _% ?朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

2 w% O% @8 c7 ?' x3 @# E 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


; }& E. X+ f3 `+ [9 O; r; r 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

& ^$ R* c& A8 v这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
4 Y/ u! o5 ?, J( B0 S ...

1 J( \: h& ]' W: ?  Z( [9 N( m* M你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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' o& [, q. y: v再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.