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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( D4 \* r# T, R( v4 N. v- F3 b
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1. Bring your own house.
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2 I& b/ d6 b2 \/ Z% u 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 S8 y' W$ D- i7 l# R4 b
hospital.4 I8 }" i* }9 w6 M7 k) q) B
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( h$ D7 c$ {6 N8 h1 T6 f8 F
capital of Canada .5 U' H( [, c" ?$ C; S. u" g
; g7 Z6 {1 e( y& I4 [7 [7 R' Z0 c) U 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 I) q/ ^" N4 W* s3 ]
capital of Canada .$ z5 c, \" o& F+ Q* p X3 i0 q
. Y& L4 H+ V- Y# f 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 ^" F/ [) i: j! i$8.00/hour.
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7 @$ Y; W: z' f- K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 |) W/ j; Q6 g( zon a 15 year holiday ?" `( u2 B1 m$ \. e
# b$ V1 |' i; M J8 e: {+ x* n" J 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ @+ D- T. ^& j7 Zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* G: i1 I' G$ S7 G10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ p; C: X2 E0 M
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( }& h& v7 V) h% `
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ S O; @* x" ~, V3 X
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' v+ W. m a: c- ^. X7 K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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. k. ~# j: u% d+ t1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! r9 F7 N( T0 z1 Z; gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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j K( g, D: Y" `( `8 @3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& b: u! h( M& u3 {* a* ^8 C4 Jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' l% |' z% {! ^& S& a
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) `) L' ?9 n, S9 G6 t, `% qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: S0 \, P/ y2 d: T7 {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' V* y" r1 u7 B* Wcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 x f0 r- x! |5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 V% F4 K( |! d/ q' L6 G# Ucan get you shot.* R6 d7 S& N2 g6 }
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' O ?3 b5 O) B: p7 {. ~% tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! J5 w) A& ?$ V+ v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; B8 S: z* ?! Dmore construction starts everyday.& j( I0 w5 R2 U2 H& n2 T
9 W, i5 u( o9 ?( ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 [+ ~& I+ E6 {0 ]# Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, Q/ p# E1 v0 s: M
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 }$ k: j; Z& _, D; Y5 d
+ |2 |# |# ^5 b# D6 D8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# `2 N' r; q1 \
the same road.7 K* }0 m; U7 Y z
& S+ T9 @' s3 F. Q# X' \3 M0 u1 B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 k3 A) }1 }$ m2 j% Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
8 k# W0 j: k6 x3 J: y0 {1 Sactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, }# p4 l' c8 w9 S5 Z7 w1 M6 U/ G
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") U0 o5 `: k7 Y
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 H* u. j7 [5 c+ `* T2 I; x
( M- t5 [$ n) S) V0 o. y) t11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 c+ W0 I6 c) E, ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
g; A; r4 |9 O: K6 xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
Y9 _! b1 [0 lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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