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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 l I( K- I% n) d1 F
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1. Bring your own house.
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! c+ l: k; E3 l) ] t3 i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
" a( ?& A0 Q) G b. a+ m9 Hhospital.
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& a, J9 r5 |' v# W3 d! o$ y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder4 @2 L8 d( J) Z4 i4 q. \2 \) y
capital of Canada .& _" M3 a z1 S$ k8 {
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ T/ I! ]1 o0 u6 z% M. [ G& i8 X
' V+ P/ \. l3 Y9 j6 \2 P 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' h4 ] k6 u) vcapital of Canada .# p% l& }8 v' c- I
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: I& c" F8 k- F/ v$ g3 |" O5 }
$8.00/hour.
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% [0 I3 O; I' x+ W2 O( { 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* m6 i; P& R; z0 v" Q8 J7 m" ^, `
0 F- h8 C' P( x$ F* z0 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 v% K' @' m0 @on a 15 year holiday ?6 [; t: A/ K' r8 p3 W3 Z
+ B0 \+ x% P/ ?4 d: C* c* ?8 ^ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 G9 k2 P1 @$ |+ Y# y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* M* d3 U! h* r2 {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& [2 {6 ]8 a8 Q4 v; g
here sick.
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3 ^0 n3 u2 U( Z J: M3 N8 X11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* ^( K3 ]7 @- R1 l) f% _# `/ g
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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7 [; |# } ^. {% t, S THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; n9 R" g, B. `# u5 p# }
. C' W! l' g ]1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' [, J0 f5 [* g5 J
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. O+ p# s/ `6 r6 c! u
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. x }- u0 c# a$ ~+ ]: q' ?- U2 Uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 ?8 X- T3 d2 g9 l0 z* K* k" o7 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) V% l* u/ n9 c+ j4 ?8 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell' V3 ], P; w: {( i* O$ S
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.# B6 O% s% u( z+ F* ?$ v- k/ \+ w
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- Q, Q3 ^; B2 i+ icussed out, and possibly shot.0 `$ ^+ v" O j& P( m8 z) z- }
2 p$ j) F- Q' b; A, `' k G5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ Z, D* L7 U1 f1 D1 w* Ccan get you shot.
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# ?8 _, A$ ^% W* x. E8 H$ U6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, i6 K& m: y2 q( K8 W8 j, V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ T* V/ J1 g# M6 d; p1 v. I. Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* ? E, J; ?1 o( p% C0 z" k4 Q' X& H) Bmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 T7 q+ E& Q' F8 r
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
; m5 r- ~/ U A% tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# a# ]7 l; ^9 l( k9 ]' A5 z
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; d& |" c. E0 |- Z2 S8 G6 n0 m0 k. ?
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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# T5 F6 g7 m7 D3 H b/ t5 s10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
! L1 X$ w" \ G4 O' S; _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 y- }: D- z- G
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) P% k6 \ S; n2 }/ w% X; A
( ^- v! x" e) _6 k5 T9 x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. H8 l0 L& w5 I1 X8 O2 w$ glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* p, }) G) p/ w# L. Gblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 n& P5 G' y) m; e+ z9 ?- q P5 gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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