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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 M( J, ?8 _, O" ?2 j
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1. Bring your own house.: ~) U. C+ [0 c! T) c9 T
+ T. k9 R* J7 M 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and/ f2 R6 ~2 ]# `- N: I: g$ }
hospital.8 C/ u3 _5 [! N2 }5 A
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder n$ w" J; X6 |
capital of Canada .& g" F" Z; U2 P
5 v* U3 a6 L4 j; a1 Y+ x 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 Z; m- p8 z# L* K' T7 Hcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 y, f0 p* P- V3 w- B$ _$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. Y7 D6 I; ]# M- F6 a5 f7 o
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# u( g8 s/ \- z9 D- A
on a 15 year holiday ?9 b7 f* L# n& L/ P( t% b
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. W3 g" N# w! l1 H( z, _
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 T7 _6 Z5 A5 C: B0 N. r9 [here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) J+ _$ F, J" ]8 f0 nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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: C- V& R) j& O' x/ U; s THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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. y- C p! a \7 ?4 @) P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& S. R2 G7 q- L- Z; H6 o5 e1 p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* t' t# }% F# ^- |+ t3 f, E2 A
' K# q9 |5 ~/ z, q) c9 R' ~3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 v. B+ U* b$ m; v" T& V2 ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! A' i f( {6 C7 h |& E
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ @/ w! s" m6 V) m v, H4 J6 n
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 k5 s* E; U+ A) q. M2 e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% Y2 H+ L, x1 J1 s% V7 Acussed out, and possibly shot.8 c8 H! B# a) X$ Q
# z' T. e( s% W: i, ?5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 g5 ~5 V' c4 b9 {' J
can get you shot.3 V( @; s/ b$ Q3 q; |
3 }4 L: |' a' f6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) j" V, t9 ]/ g' K. o2 x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; e, @& R! b- D7 b5 b
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- d; @) V4 u& Q) F. U* A
more construction starts everyday.% y7 c& Y2 R& m- u
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) v' E% O. _% E/ F- L4 G9 _3 Ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," e/ A& H4 ?) z" H: q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) A1 v- O- ]; J" b2 [& `
/ I9 A% ^1 X: [7 D; M1 X9 P8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: k& }! L& l0 t* mthe same road.
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; U4 }2 J$ G4 O, i# |! C) Q9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 M$ @' g7 @- I; d H, w% T/ t5 ]shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ {: w) I! z8 N, q+ \: j5 T5 s6 ^
activated."/ l5 i* s" t( j7 A$ q/ V( s3 X
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% s$ T0 C" l- [/ K: ~. O( fzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 F$ W, m- @4 M+ L$ yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ a' ^' O( G& G* O4 ?9 _0 {8 V: R
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% }5 x; Y; q( ^4 x* @blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% ^" |; K Y$ qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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