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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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7 m( l1 w& e% K: j+ D' K4 U6 ^ 1. Bring your own house.
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' L6 k( W+ D& V. Y6 _8 ^ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ ~/ K8 L& R9 b' e. ^! D( i7 X! y! e
hospital.
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% Q$ O+ F% T* ?' G 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# r/ e; |2 l' @, H
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- a2 h, R9 N9 ^* j1 |' Mcapital of Canada ." I. q; h- w- Y0 u5 o
9 n, C$ K5 T: |7 ]; N2 U" \ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ @( h' R* ~: {8 y6 b$8.00/hour.
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7 I0 k: L4 i! H# o 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
@5 Q* X, `: M/ F: W8 Ron a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' \: U- u$ K+ b+ v: {' K$ T+ xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); s5 R* s) m/ o0 e! x7 _/ ^1 M4 V
; W2 N/ \) d/ \. a; S& @- n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* f+ w3 Q7 x6 t! G) }5 p3 C( Q Z4 O
here sick.
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& s4 v( M. S8 A4 K! J+ q11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 128 d8 a& V" S+ x. u. u
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :+ o9 Y$ k% e7 K" X; q! T
0 s% k5 x/ K. e( z' V: s1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 A3 U+ X7 q* a1 ?6 L2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 z' {6 X; L" j9 h% f6 @$ Y0 Tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! }3 Y l% b) ]4 O. A% ?# ?( Z I
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 }- b4 U& G, Z5 \' l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- D5 G% h8 `4 o: A$ ~
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ @# e' B6 \% b9 q) \/ c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 ]3 a9 N N( Wcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ L' Q4 z, g% mcan get you shot.! K9 i9 k' P, W9 W3 _) d$ L
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
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day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and0 R3 |% l1 ]& d
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# j1 J# y; M1 y& I+ u5 B& S+ C
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 f! P$ F0 ]4 _$ m# _5 \% ~7 { j. f5 Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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+ r3 K# y6 \' F# \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 ^. n* y5 O9 f% M- \, Z" Ithe same road.
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1 q5 H# I: g& a+ _) z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' p8 \% L% N1 k; P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: C& V- L4 c1 T: `8 T* l# ]
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 ~& ^7 e' n0 X( ^5 T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. |) t% N3 l+ w( Q2 y7 o5 ~
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; _- |$ [% b6 G6 x9 z: B$ C
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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