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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA4 b. ~6 V) c* m; Y6 D3 `" E5 R7 {3 w
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. ( A, M# f/ B8 P7 O' s6 d! B
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
+ y4 N! \7 \. ?! V! }3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
. J |+ G. x1 C* |' J8 q! v) F( w4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. - Y5 K$ ?* m. S/ K8 F: L* c, u
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA * e( g) Z4 O6 m+ Z7 P8 B. `, u
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
9 ?4 R- g; v+ N3 M4 B6 c0 {7 R2. Ottawa who?& t) v0 V; L0 q3 @, `+ K
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
7 y( F- m! K- I2 S4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
; f. V$ U# A! H4 Q5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
( Y% B' U' R& C' ~6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ! W( R% A3 d7 M6 y1 a8 ~
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN : k' X3 n4 L- v! t @
1 ~- t9 T- b! a1. You never run out of wheat. 0 B; \! a% g/ F. D
2. Your province is really easy to draw. + K( p1 [* ]6 x1 A3 ^
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ; g0 X& b4 p. O) |, u" n) J+ N
4. People will assume you live on a farm. 3 N- v# J( E6 }
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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& G8 s9 A7 y8 ^7 @! `1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
6 y1 J: R z2 i. D2 Z9 T3 i: S9 R2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- ?; O3 ^) f) r6 C3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
+ h7 X" p# w5 ]" |: L, `4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. : o$ i) e1 J" b0 E3 h$ n
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO # G$ s4 i9 P! ^& T- g- ~3 N6 {
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
5 A; |$ |: w$ ?7 g* e: ?/ ?( X2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 6 E- A- m' {. U' b$ @1 z9 L
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 9 n" B5 r/ H4 h) c" y. }
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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& A5 S* p; K h, Z! ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
9 v; I/ T) ]6 K# G7 R: O, g: p8 G2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
! h/ W4 D5 W, A+ v' ?9 ^3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. . e/ q" L' K. Q9 a2 E8 S7 b
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo */ d2 _0 a# G0 u U& {
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 4 {( V& m! h! L# h# K
7 K9 _6 L" a0 r" S1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ( {8 j$ K, q) a X$ ]
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
{3 {" p [0 I$ L8 t3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick ' b$ `; ~7 \3 p( p) r
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 6 J g+ o7 {7 A7 h8 s5 W8 z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA : ?. L, m# D( T+ L
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
, U% [* O& Z- H% v; F2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
% X( u7 P, V! W& H6 V6 {& ?' P8 U( \3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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b( y1 m0 S* I7 |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 2 r' Y& D. q p) l: w+ l8 X: A
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 7 C, z8 q3 R' W8 W1 D& n* e
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 6 F" Y# c! h5 H- c4 G0 m! f
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
- ?: ~4 Z) x7 V% M$ R# t4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." ^7 y( `8 @& |3 @/ U6 A
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. ; o& r" _$ t+ N$ O4 `7 @
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ' a& p/ _* k9 \& H# a
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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/ R4 W3 a! }4 X' z# Y8 f1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 0 G0 x. c7 R: Y- J5 L
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 8 B0 t7 J; z9 X' `
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4 q) _1 Q% T' A0 ~# q4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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