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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
( F5 h) j5 {8 a4 X9 }2 d2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
: f5 x" B' V z. V# n6 h3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
! V8 E5 ]& ]+ Z9 o+ L9 j. G( s4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
2 f0 W- G, }6 a, d5. Weed $ }) B' D" T+ [5 c/ o6 y/ Q
6 A2 S) b* E( [TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA j, t# h% q- t7 L) M6 N8 P
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
& v& }1 I# p& f8 D6 C+ V2. Ottawa who?7 }: @1 Z" G) o% W0 A( Y* w
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. & [ S8 V$ M- I' j; E+ ^9 j9 z
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
& e3 H5 e/ z) H7 S* z5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
4 t) G3 @3 k+ h* A( Q' J% E6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ' l3 B: ?% x; @
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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' E9 \2 {) q" Q) M$ b3 N5 H1. You never run out of wheat.
- ?. n# p4 G. Z- ^2. Your province is really easy to draw. 6 d8 @1 v1 ^2 i
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 3 I# ]- K! I W& J
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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o9 w" B: p2 F! g9 q) q+ gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA # w6 U5 |! v# l% [/ H
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
, \1 K% J- E# Z& Y2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 8 }* ^# [8 U D, c% x: s" w3 E: W" c
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ' O* ]5 E4 ?: N" ~
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. $ C* G: ?) p) I) ^/ j( X* T8 |
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. $ _1 E! ^) M) F0 @
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1 E8 R" _- N2 L4 ~2 n0 `% pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. ; u, c% ~. k8 e5 R
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. * r$ T8 y; K* c$ x' P% U0 W
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
: m2 y, S5 j4 u; C6 n T, j4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. / z3 z5 R; L7 T) n0 }0 ?* v+ c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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( x0 s" _( X8 A% K; e" M w; b1. Racism is socially acceptable
9 Q7 @* k6 X {2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. # P& J% _& F$ c" j8 w+ x: T
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 0 y! Z% D, K" E) E: \8 ?; W7 e2 I5 H
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
4 @0 t7 ]9 o7 ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 2 t0 q/ H1 w! n8 ^6 a3 F
+ a3 V8 _; J6 b d9 ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK % z4 O! f& Y& q6 a! X+ X
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. / _( H4 ?0 S% B5 Z: ]& e
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. $ \$ N* K3 K1 F8 s. i: X+ l1 Y
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
% ^- u# n& Y: J1 `, c$ F4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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' q" e. L6 H# {9 \% l: b3 y" O1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. * P9 z" E7 U; H$ Z" Y$ i6 D: w
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
* r/ a, d/ }$ Z3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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/ e' K. i- s) \. k5 Q# PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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( B( E4 V# {$ u2 E: L2 |( M/ u: e$ ^1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
* m/ w) V( c3 H2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 9 Y- v1 u5 ]6 s0 o' v2 Q9 I) ^% H; n7 U
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 2 }( ] `; H* e5 o
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." % X2 x+ B6 `& c9 d3 D6 ]+ Q& e
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
7 \+ N# v5 E ]$ H6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. - D1 l* Y0 M# F+ E+ D5 ]7 [2 n
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 4 t4 b% y: W y& g% Y$ \& G7 Q
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. # B+ s& o" j1 L) i$ `# ]* y
3. The workday is about two hours long. / z- n X* Q6 m( m. k4 R, e
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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