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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA8 M2 d) P7 A" G y: u) ]$ V( n
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
# b3 t; P) J( r2 B" I2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ) l5 f+ \' q0 [+ d) @
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
, h! ?& j/ _* w4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. : j+ s/ ~0 V! B( c0 \
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ' z9 \0 ~9 S7 v) I z" X
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
! `- `5 x) y0 S! N2 n! n( F* d2. Ottawa who?' s% U2 ?( M' D) k& ]$ M
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ! c3 y9 j3 b+ |0 b+ m) k
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
2 w6 ?! U1 d& L5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
( A7 s5 y7 m6 j5 i6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. $ }6 B) z- V6 N8 }& a; E# B2 ~
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4 s# g- C$ m( p) m3 q( g+ DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ' ?( P, V/ j& J9 G( ~
2 W ~! E8 Y2 \1 T( y1. You never run out of wheat. . m& e. z4 J. V- s
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
6 [: Q- i/ h9 E! L: y' g* \3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
: R9 n5 R. W; u1 ~# g; m/ |' }- Q4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA , O6 }8 D( g3 X7 X
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
. z0 t% E4 s5 N* X& S' ^2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
H6 S+ J; R. k3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
9 f5 c! C9 H& ] u0 ?4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
/ d4 S& i9 Z. j1 [5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. ' z% d! [& r& V2 `1 }0 O
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6 P! |. y8 t N6 h, a- w% bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ) }" r3 v1 T6 P
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 4 \1 ?' ^3 @! R8 `
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. ! L$ X! m; H1 j O1 _$ W
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. $ R+ J6 N) N0 q
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. $ e& z9 Y7 v1 X% [
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% L& V$ ?1 g/ sTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC , j0 [; ]8 Q5 _$ X* H) [
5 v m# m! t# K4 c1 |0 W1. Racism is socially acceptable 9 b' w; e. B6 l2 g- Z
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
. U$ N( d6 V% A) [2 p3 a: S! ?3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 8 d1 G6 H7 x4 q' s \& F! @, g
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *9 |6 N% |9 I! d; c$ P
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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8 |, b8 v+ g: _$ ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK $ `5 h/ {) ^1 W8 ?! ^- B0 R9 n5 c
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
4 r2 X/ j7 z- F; \' g2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
, Y) m! i F' D5 v( f: m3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
$ x+ V2 p* u- c4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ; D E6 D! R( T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ' G" |9 i% |5 d
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. " [$ ~ F. `% x1 T9 T5 x4 n* u. X& f
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3 E5 L% v& M$ ?( \5 D' i3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 4 O0 C/ L& T' [1 R, j
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; }: o! X, }9 |5 N+ lTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 2 `+ |2 f% ?- W% {2 b/ S
8 ?$ ~1 l/ a; P' x- f e* h9 F/ d4 f1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. % T# _* ~6 F) U: V/ g F
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
7 d& x7 N/ ?3 p3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
! A7 o* m7 f# E. s7 i+ a4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." $ z7 a: z, e5 e& V* d
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. * {$ P4 s4 X5 B0 ~6 o
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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5 _+ s1 n1 P' o+ V! M1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
) {3 ]7 W5 D( R& k. \2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
5 h6 X7 X8 d/ K' e( I8 o+ m9 B. j3. The workday is about two hours long. 8 z: Z5 Z) d& h$ ]
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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