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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA n; F9 ?3 b/ |0 p4 _& ?4 i8 V
# c o: C( C9 e/ Q1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. . J1 z/ r ?0 o( _3 H1 r* ^4 l# V
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
& ^, _2 y$ Q" \. E) w3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
, v) }. U0 k7 m: r4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 2 }* w0 y9 x1 ~; P& D, U
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. 5 v( p2 `9 P- q: Q+ A
2. Ottawa who?
2 V0 ?: ~8 u1 D$ C2 {3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
3 Y( s" P" m5 F+ v4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
( R$ j8 [) G8 t' S5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
8 `4 x' N- k: j* H" ]' d6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 2 \- |, z% r1 D# l; \) k& @4 o
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1. You never run out of wheat.
# U, P1 u: s& k3 g- z' \2. Your province is really easy to draw. ) E$ s+ f: e" ?# z. }5 X
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
" l, f( |. M) f; o4. People will assume you live on a farm. 9 \1 r% g9 K5 y& m5 z. L; U
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA ) D! }, J$ C% |/ Z2 P
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
0 G m. _( q. o8 f: S \2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. / r/ h4 H6 g& @! {0 p
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 2 f/ S0 t/ s A+ f
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. + {1 z( j7 U$ i: A: U# @/ ] |
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 9 Z' E d! }) w1 l( r* ^
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/ H* \9 ~2 j, ~2 j' P) E5 x, a' STOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO # I8 J2 }8 T7 X% Q: }
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
' I8 ]0 H8 d5 A3 W% d3 \5 J# s2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 1 K, z: y# _' |; R* ^# m
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 5 ~8 l2 x6 I) K. W2 e7 A% Q
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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0 |. ?# M8 u+ UTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC % e5 \9 I; b0 Z; U/ e- T
4 a4 O3 J+ ?7 B7 i- |# b8 \* \1. Racism is socially acceptable
! p! O7 V( q; w( w; y7 C2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. E, ?, _0 s6 f
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. % z$ u* V( {2 y/ Z: }- U) ~
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *3 X. `; y' X. u9 S; `
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ( s! f, I8 \: v
+ A& q) [2 u! r, bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
; y2 `- u' P; b- r8 d+ Z& a2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
8 y* Q6 E% M4 |3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick * P% ~7 Y$ R- m2 Q$ E* D
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 2 D, ~' F% {7 a6 K; y4 u
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) l# {# C9 x! fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
$ V0 t) Z V3 c# Q4 U2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
; q0 V7 K# t9 _. a1 u3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. % i, o6 C4 ^" n V& c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ) w2 i; H |' L% b
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
7 i h4 E7 g8 }8 g' @3 M2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 2 C- Z% d' j6 z
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
3 x4 {- s4 h( h9 ^; I% [4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." S8 b4 k+ M" s+ l
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
7 v2 c4 X4 i9 H! X0 |6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. - |" I! A+ W" [. s' R
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND # t! P# W* Y! ~' s
+ k* W$ Z& u( w) `6 h2 f1 h9 J* b1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
& b; Q0 n$ ?9 ]! n: ~0 L7 r5 E2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
. b- u& \9 Q& u% b& _! w6 w3. The workday is about two hours long.
( M3 T, W% F+ K: M- ~3 C- S& Q4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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