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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
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In the garden of my heart
! ?. N) ?" Y7 J0 G) xYou planted a tree. R# i) H' u+ b$ _* }8 y  f' A
From sunset til dawn& a; v+ h, O$ t& }& @" T9 o
Through darkness to light
$ l/ I' U% X* p: lNourished with my soul+ F; ?" H( P5 U% X
Devoured my sorrow by thee
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( W: i* C& V" {$ H0 ^4 DIn the memory of my life
- ^, n3 e3 Q& _9 W7 m# s' BYou planted a dream
, Y3 M; U5 H2 x- vShould the sky fall down on me& {" g6 i5 ]% L/ R/ P) J' u
May promises fade in the sea; l4 v7 A4 s0 a3 J
Sewing back every broken pieces
; U1 w( B% m6 S1 K. v- C, lBursting the love out of me
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* e5 p* b- q' B" r[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
: G# a" z8 [1 w2 i. r听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
# U% J0 q4 v; g! Z3 `* _, ]
- i* R* U1 F+ lIn the garden of my heart
1 ^. P/ u% z  |You planted a tree- C1 o% E, @. _7 Z3 X& r4 A
From sunset til dawn& P! B; a$ s8 G; C
Through darkness to light  N. b- ]7 E$ d3 W# M
Nourished with my soul
2 x/ I8 Q$ z; x# X& o/ qDevoured my so ...
. d8 W3 h. b. U  N) G; q
" d9 O/ F7 k4 g( @
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?6 q8 a  E" M) f2 a$ a

& e* z- v4 W" N+ r3 g写得真好。$ v8 Z7 Z1 e# a0 e; q
3 d/ f; j! O1 \4 i# D
加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
' J2 d1 s% t* c* c7 j" T: d眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
0 Z7 k* z% ~2 B写得真好。# V  B- P  {  B1 @/ f9 w' ]3 {
加精加精!

2 [9 w$ w$ O; ^) e我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表/ }1 V- k+ u4 z
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
+ s! W" ]: h* p# O+ v+ y; b
五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here./ ]+ v5 p: G8 B' }7 w7 W
5 W( {6 Z# M8 N. B
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表. E/ O& y# H6 r! z
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.4 R$ u% j. J' `4 ?' i5 s0 x
0 t/ {0 F/ {3 o; e  u0 l# }
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
  n" S* x3 v, K; H* y
! `1 x9 g2 E+ i% @  h9 t8 [1 y! G: D
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.* [6 F4 x/ T: {3 X
) Q7 _( g, n7 P
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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8 P  D! x4 e3 v+ l) O# t2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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" S# C4 S4 W9 S; bShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表! H/ K# j3 }8 @: p* o3 |) d4 _
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
8 I, M2 R/ i0 _
; G( w- T, t! q- g& n0 p$ nShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
" I- o" F  q# S

1 j6 N# v) g# e0 V% `诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表& I4 h7 j  c# J* H4 H- Q4 w
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。0 C; \, [) h, I2 Z3 u5 q6 e

' A+ T' h7 H) S" W; A2 j& F# QShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

4 l3 k  G) `' V* g" y/ S- p$ W& t# L, M) v6 N( @' H: U
有啊,有很多经典的例子。! B$ H% M( \! P
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
& i1 Q& z4 n1 n& @# j: M! K$ L! d. K6 H. [: @! v) c
Don't weep at my grave
0 L% I$ q; @6 j0 o5 ~6 P. v* ^) y( \For I am not there,
! r) O( a4 y0 ]4 X( [7 ~6 c9 rI've a date with a butterfly
0 T: M& G" }1 \) s. t* OTo dance on the air.
# a7 I& L$ S4 ^/ d' _# cIf I'm missed, find a flower,
# Y3 M/ I' T8 d6 c0 K4 w: OI'll be there too," i0 b9 ~4 @' l, b, q' \
Sniffing it's fragrance# z: p1 W7 H1 Y/ \3 d
Right next to you.$ M1 x) f3 T9 H) E7 ]8 G: D& R. \" Y$ ^
; R2 d# y2 j0 {# S
Don't be sad2 x, S5 {. f$ @. i5 r4 S
When you remember me,- z1 p8 s# n- H6 [& j( n
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
6 g- ]9 e0 S- eWild and free,* B8 m) {7 G/ j5 y# F; v; M, J/ _
Flirting with the lighting,
2 B- T1 _* V9 VPlaying tag with the wind,
7 |/ |0 A3 q/ i( Z0 Q9 a8 b+ Q% vChasing the thunder# [) }& }( P9 f2 b2 T! _9 U1 P
Time and again,
7 \% r. _- |: K& ]1 gSoaring with the eagle,3 A' m9 y9 ~# x& @' i( r& u! q
Swimming in the sea,  \* ]: K+ I- Z8 s2 R8 Q7 \
Enjoying all of nature
  L; I- n9 L( x6 C! I. u% {$ l$ vWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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