In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

  P9 Q+ i  {8 g" R. i2 K4 xIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
( z8 e! a) c& p7 F7 ], jThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
2 _9 z6 I. |- L( i7 m2 h1 d  \Devoured my sorrow by thee
8 v! _3 g0 E, p% a* p
In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
: g: |( \( H0 m  _: O  u- Y$ KSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
( J' V; a6 I$ ?0 V- Y
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
( z" ]  ]) {/ `2 g1 f% _# G听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
7 _5 _+ C+ ~/ ~9 ?# X
/ d" N* ]6 g2 @7 b- B0 x. DIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
0 A- z) x' ?0 ?9 D% \1 M3 u7 sThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
4 M* U( f( I7 q. pDevoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
. }9 s/ h# F6 ?0 P. |1 p- S
写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
  H; L: p. v- ^! Z5 }  ]加精加精！

% W' m/ Y, Q) V) k4 h  p7 R2 W我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

* @  u1 F& X& p5 gSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
& h/ ~/ D+ n9 v4 cShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
- c, x& I0 q7 y: D9 B4 m: r
: D5 W+ g' a8 \  H6 d$ q, p2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
; s: d0 G" ?4 `/ a# fthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

8 s) a) M) P* u- t0 C5 b, |8 }# G- W: J$ pShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

# y  m" |) _/ D5 z+ w: s诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
" S( Z0 M" l8 [+ sthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

2 E. D5 y+ w) b
* d% \! T& u' l' g有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
# S9 G/ ]4 u7 ?' ]6 \7 _9 ?" X: p
) {! X6 w& ?  V* n! HDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
. H: L* U6 N# x- ?6 KI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
1 Z7 `' L0 d& ~7 E) Y& qI'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
! P# @" ^& V3 A" s- `: h
: x1 h* B* H2 I, c% nDon't be sad
3 A0 m; L/ I1 z3 m( Q6 B; ~9 wWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
- ~# ~. C: W  p% ?" v% ?. cTime and again,
! @4 d, `( J$ n, CSoaring with the eagle,
( o, l2 j. `# Y; E$ gSwimming in the sea,
7 O! Q7 ]6 e( D, q0 HEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.