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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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: N1 j+ \5 S/ t' F' j. _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
0 Y8 I2 ^- v# O2 q$ r, @hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday: `; G! I* E: ]" `
morning.4 @7 X! l) k$ M$ W/ O
& j2 n: U$ W2 F* h5 H* v3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,9 K- _- e. g' u/ X8 i) p. D9 T+ Y
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
% x( Q" L6 u. u( X- C) ?landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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$ a/ A& g' l; d& g/ x2 Y- V4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# S+ t g7 M5 m) s( A7 g# p% O aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 c: `5 N( p. `4 X! G
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' r& I6 r( o' q5 U' [" mgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell' _2 h: O- ^- S
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; Q0 K& f- F. E/ H- [
9 b Y m% e& E" ?' A7 k5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ _* C+ x$ t' q9 t; z/ @% X
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can& d' U9 N, K; w* e/ U
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that1 o! J3 ?/ m) [- A8 H/ d) ]
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at n) B/ I7 N, d i+ f
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
. G6 |. w2 [9 i( ^you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
9 a* y6 f) \% k" s! U$ rvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
, `' h* X3 }: ?; O/ W* ?) jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% H8 x" p2 t+ tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; a a5 ~( W3 P* Y5 t4 p8 Emore construction starts everyday.$ t7 X; Q0 S% n( @
' r6 O/ B; Y9 t1 E" R9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 h, r7 S5 K3 F! e8 n5 \) gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, W, y3 _" j8 H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- @1 N: Z! M0 G2 G10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same6 ]: f5 S# h) \
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye4 @: I" N3 U/ K6 ?# N
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and3 j: y7 G4 E+ }0 P/ b5 \) n
66 Street are also the same road; got it?( T) S5 ~8 x; o+ G
- t" O0 G# n: x8 C- h11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% B3 C3 q- d! H' {1 M. S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally1 u: t( r4 ]5 o4 v5 T) ~8 _" { U5 V/ k
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
6 u# H3 n" c9 E5 yyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'& {( V; [! \9 w8 m/ R
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: f. f/ M) W" G, ?/ F* K
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- ]. l6 b+ k. {5 Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 b V' v) \4 Z2 E% n) W- i' S9 ublankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
