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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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1 d" i/ J+ m- p( Y) oThe following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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0 I, q1 n6 V* V9 o: ?0 i6 w1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . : a7 d. ?% V% N
0 u, K" V$ F, ]3 v1 O. u4 S2 w3 m3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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! e' J2 T( U3 a; N i$ L1 j' b; i5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent & L. A' N, t4 f2 {
) x# s' ^2 I5 |( M* `" n3 G6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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- N- u$ u# }4 u2 t/ N7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. 3 l$ D0 A: P7 ?) I% B+ _" T+ j
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. # M" D2 J; J9 H7 ]4 c5 H1 u( s- p
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. % i( K3 F2 l9 H4 |/ ^1 Z- v
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. * A$ p, q* K% g8 y+ w
2 `8 e! B4 I1 X8 ?( P2 v) h14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 7 G* y- s" ~5 r) B6 R
& q+ e6 ]( o6 S8 V/ X15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. ' Y( p( Z f3 Y q1 ?5 x
+ s$ W% E9 y1 I: _" d2 q5 U2 }( S16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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