 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": R' ] q: z4 y U- B
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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! W; _* b+ P, q0 O: p# G% a+ lAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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4 O. M+ ]0 p, b; G9 W UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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; h9 q3 n% M& C0 r- x& A( ]& G& X"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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5 L9 c7 @8 z* F1 Z1 E' SI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?8 b) k; ]+ c" i& p; P N8 d5 ]" i
# g& L! E1 _3 V% nI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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- X# k' _; f* |9 x) w! w/ nI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- w! L* D( p* a) z- o. U
- G( N8 b5 n. M& O% U: sSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ d2 Y3 P' A5 O' H3 t! r8 I
; O1 B9 ]: W P5 I4 T$ ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' [3 _6 \; x6 G$ _$ p4 W5 j" J
7 d& N# F$ y! [# KThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.9 h7 ?" R$ V( |' l0 G3 q, h+ v4 E
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Thank you very much!& w; M E$ m6 E7 e2 I
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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; x5 P: q& q" A2 e! g3 n; r2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* P4 L7 D: h( e/ ?* f$ T
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( G( s8 y+ A6 o, k1 T5 v0 f
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US. H) u X% r8 }' W t
" P5 D G/ S/ n4 `" I- bThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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