 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ m( c8 l" z6 J+ a
( Z- d6 a# P7 n) K* t7 u! C2 A
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
$ |/ J$ [- X- k) P
2 j' B3 [6 l3 y1 ~1 UI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! l/ G% M: _; J
: u C/ I4 c4 H9 L3 H% HI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) W, L+ w" Z& T1 U
4 z7 k2 f$ i) C6 [" e"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 Z/ s0 E; B3 p
" x9 h' D! \, B& ?
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 `6 j+ a, Y4 t' ^4 U! d8 f
* Y" N) M' V1 J* @5 d% n
And the second one was:
: w) s4 j5 c* K& ], ^1 x. d2 s: }3 X8 `+ } V# @$ [" u" N
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
9 i1 P& m$ j6 C9 O: I% v1 Y
* i5 m A* Q9 F' b: S! CI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
% T+ n0 ^$ O( R4 B5 m% c: b: P1 _# b2 H1 S' ?0 @+ k
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
, v1 L7 E8 v; B1 A" y
* n- a# W6 n8 y- z4 yI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ N0 r$ `' [) l3 A
7 [5 U) A9 b9 Y0 i1 E
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
# h6 l$ \( l, ^$ C3 V( M* J# o8 Z
1 t# |1 B+ u' i$ K0 d* H9 Z! JI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."/ m4 X; g7 N$ P$ T) }. M9 j: M
% ^8 J A9 x+ {; d4 i* iSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
7 M9 s$ _; U9 `3 y# y" Z2 _' T E! i; r, U
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
6 v; L2 I" V( K; \& P" o9 [$ }$ K' ^5 R! i
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
- z+ m% m3 R4 o1 ^
- ~ f# U7 l2 j9 a$ KThank you very much!# r: u) r+ t6 h2 O; Y0 H
" p" Q, l$ @0 V: i7 ]& U3 K3 \0 P==========================! N' L# y2 r5 Q' {9 G
4 W5 t( S: f6 r# B7 C
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: X9 O! S0 L8 r. ?* W
, L: K& X5 n E
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
$ x, { q. F: |; d f+ t8 g6 m2 s. W) f- [$ ]! P4 I
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.( Z. X9 \0 l" B. Z
9 H% u8 l/ W$ D"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( w7 p x# R( o9 h+ Q; Q
8 z: K, [6 U" T: {! E
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"., N- W. X& Z) o/ ~+ V3 U
c' v' a4 v' G0 l8 D sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.3 o1 b0 H9 Q% G+ ~8 |; I* P+ H
6 x$ i4 M0 D9 i; w, E* k
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|