 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 T, N% Y* j: s2 K' R
* y9 H9 r$ O' J& q' u3 II'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
# N, V8 O1 }5 S) C- { o( S
2 L" `, }, g* m0 T$ y; J. gI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.# j% q& `2 K! |/ o$ f% N" C
' g. z& Q% I. ^! S2 k0 \
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
9 ]3 B, \' _& [# A2 ^! N
, g* n- j/ Y- A6 U/ P: Y"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 J6 l- V! a1 k. d' {1 }
* q! V4 U7 {. v5 V1 s9 z2 o2 AI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. g1 r, ?. Z) T) `" f
! \" C j' H9 H. L6 |) b" L3 L$ EAnd the second one was:
' O0 G( p9 J- W; s; ?; q/ J e2 q5 |4 V
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
3 C& k1 t: j* N# C2 T' S9 B$ q. T( p# N) j. c$ j
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ Y7 z( n# ~; G7 q
6 z% l9 F* l' s/ J$ ^4 `"What is Roe vs. Wade?"" U/ ?' v- b P
4 F# A' n% Q+ z. Y8 C/ d& a
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?5 T% k1 a. T+ v( S* c" ^) Q4 l# n C) p
+ Y2 W; d, G6 _3 j0 ~& s1 O* oI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 S b8 g/ U% l5 y. ^* z
4 B6 l" p7 k: z! l" |7 p. f& y/ W# o
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
1 k) L' A8 u% F' u t& q1 Q5 N( C7 e! D; i# M& s- Z
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
4 ~% w8 `" l& V3 T" n0 P
. P2 z: R, D8 R. V. |; \! ZNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
. E b3 O* l# ~" H# g! E! W) p4 c" k
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 @6 \. s5 _3 M6 S$ P0 o9 U
' K( ]! w5 ~6 t" C! mThank you very much!
( F" P$ o5 O& u. Y3 ~7 |. l: v# f6 k- \4 n8 y' k# L7 o( r
==========================
$ G- [5 x, w) @( I& J& f g# `; Y& `+ |3 ]' L) V& @* a# M: d
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
$ ]* ^( X8 Z4 Z" T" O* z
( b, S2 T: H8 t8 X ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
# [) ]. W& R1 ^7 E0 u" {3 a2 V4 O" W: s6 ?/ p( l$ K- R% p
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 k6 s0 P) F6 B) i, o
5 o* W1 N3 W+ T3 }- Y"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. i& r# G( F, a6 r, ` C
& |% s) w4 E8 ^5 O9 UJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! a% [, K# L8 t8 a2 Y, F* l& L
$ I+ g/ ~! v) S1 T& Z& Y: a
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.; p/ x5 r. j" E: N
+ T# N5 Y& S4 B: }
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
