 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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% _' G- d: O2 ^, o4 P9 AI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 M# K0 w. X' x3 j1 T
% f* O4 R7 x. t; [+ _I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like: L3 _1 g+ M9 ?
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ `: u8 {$ G* n' k2 a7 i2 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:- J6 S2 r5 w. X) m
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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9 z9 f7 c8 u, D( J8 EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ ]# K3 y" y N+ h" {
) Q; w( _1 {2 N0 B$ u. f) y" WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 |3 n W" f3 x# v
; l2 q5 e* c @' J( v% jNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( d( a. ]2 L5 k: D
1 l& [) e4 j+ eThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' q4 k4 l4 {) K- Q
$ s+ l7 e* s7 ?5 o6 E" O% ZThank you very much!
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* ~9 Z$ I. G# E' j; s1 M( G! uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.4 A, N' F0 `/ q8 N& q4 O
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# q" k9 D& Z0 e" v# A' K3 w
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 P; `" C/ o. g' _
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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! k% W. Q% q$ Q8 D9 o( z3 ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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8 y+ W, P/ C9 j0 G5 DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
