 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
) J) A: h# j- @: @. e; t: l. }" r9 L- Q: P4 u
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
. i T7 W) Q" R! z$ T _5 `" l9 i% [) T+ E$ n4 G: q
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! F% P9 t. {) _" E
' g1 V( W7 A; H: g+ t6 TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
/ W3 V: L' t. U9 I# |# V
3 s7 T! A3 p( _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
& K2 K' {! Q) |# n1 F0 L) s% V ^$ o- O5 `% K- g
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ J2 Y( H L/ q. ]0 _
8 w" i0 f$ X( f* A. mAnd the second one was:
' [+ D3 \6 r; k1 u- L
: X( w* \. |( i `* Y. A"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# `- U! x$ u/ V' ~; M
' X/ G& I, t8 Z5 y4 g$ S
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
9 ]( b4 g! }8 t) p* `( x* t
: z9 _) ^5 Q+ W# B+ }* c* q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
5 b M- c9 z& A+ v8 e! `5 Z% ?! c% L( F! U: H. G
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
# Q1 z5 ]1 \: F+ {' o7 ^' K% l; ]0 I7 S9 J
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
# u- y/ B: ? A2 o9 Y& s) f: L* O0 d7 N4 ]# N
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
) ]& r( \; J$ t$ U4 L3 k) J2 m# Q, V0 H0 W6 \+ ^3 o4 \* t
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
1 Y. H5 W7 i5 |9 |( A
9 K" [; C; z9 @% D0 XNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" e1 W7 Y& Z/ d, G/ C& J1 R2 [) L' N" l
% g. b( {5 u5 iThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 c* H7 q, j. J& A7 o- c: ~
. q7 K: p6 c }# {" T) A7 B8 z- [
Thank you very much!# L Y; b& _# ]- B+ z5 h
( V6 p% c& F1 _3 `; s- l==========================
6 G" a: p- P) I2 V
( Y& d% Y; u3 K* ?+ [, yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
& A3 E2 Z9 n8 j3 @. M" H( y. X# C( O9 g( [; q# f6 v
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
0 P9 x; _9 E. s* T1 w% ~1 x% }2 d# ]7 K9 v& W
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 Z* S1 h' W( B! f: O
" P7 L! K* G4 D6 S) d# ?
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ T$ j; y9 L. ?7 S4 K1 t
5 v$ ?, m- F: A# a2 W* V5 g' V; [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
; |# H4 R% Y% g3 u' ] T: w$ F/ C8 C; I' D9 g" V* u
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 @: k# L" p3 I W: Q9 W
3 Y" r9 e& q$ D% F2 I3 S$ t
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|