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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! F% P9 t. {) _" E

' g1 V( W7 A; H: g+ t6 TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 s7 T! A3 p( _"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ J2 Y( H  L/ q. ]0 _

8 w" i0 f$ X( f* A. mAnd the second one was:
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: X( w* \. |( i  `* Y. A"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# `- U! x$ u/ V' ~; M
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: z9 _) ^5 Q+ W# B+ }* c* q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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9 K" [; C; z9 @% D0 XNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" e1 W7 Y& Z/ d, G/ C& J1 R2 [) L' N" l

% g. b( {5 u5 iThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 c* H7 q, j. J& A7 o- c: ~
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Thank you very much!# L  Y; b& _# ]- B+ z5 h

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( Y& d% Y; u3 K* ?+ [, yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 Z* S1 h' W( B! f: O
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ T$ j; y9 L. ?7 S4 K1 t

5 v$ ?, m- F: A# a2 W* V5 g' V; [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 @: k# L" p3 I  W: Q9 W
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
# r7 G% s. v" la young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
$ f) O7 o# X% H! _. B# l$ L怎么理解?) O% i& r5 N3 y, y8 `: U5 Q  L' X
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
  s2 c- M! j) \" L/ Y% [& |怎么理解?
. |( M1 M- Y, l  |50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?! h) H/ f# F  R, _0 W
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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/ D& c* z' B+ C" M+ y8 X我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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: d! z3 ^5 f9 \( n) e* D我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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