 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.# a! F3 h2 q0 h+ }. ]5 T
3 U! q8 L* H0 h7 g0 ]3 e" SI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
( b+ L8 z: A0 o. ]! b. m& b3 B7 n( p2 @# b8 [
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
: w! ^9 {) C; t i( N- k5 S. Q4 u# k4 i
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like: n1 b/ o$ V2 [
8 A; r7 P0 P4 \
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
% B% j# t0 \2 J! S
{) j- r5 f0 c6 R) wI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
& f" {1 u" Q9 W" t) F5 g1 m) [4 B0 Q' Q* |( _
And the second one was:1 R, O. i k' G0 H# u9 u
! `$ [ E. S1 v+ R/ M
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
) o& S3 Z- p9 g9 l. U* B( }5 B$ _4 E$ X' V/ l9 P, G# u
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 A. i/ N6 J7 ~0 v
6 V+ q! ^) p/ I* Y" v"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
1 d' L _; Y/ _% |. l9 L5 ]+ |$ A( e0 L2 h0 ?% i2 j
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
) b/ }: x, y1 G5 H$ H) @* ^( ?- C8 E M& ]1 U# _
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
9 h& {" s* }7 C9 J$ E9 c q0 e# e
) K, ^4 Z, a+ H* G cI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ u% b. ^2 M) `$ A5 W D
' m. h; B! t& S: o3 T8 y' Y
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
" X$ n8 g1 Y5 O3 G
7 q E q. L, F3 k! s/ tNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
2 q0 I/ N' X5 b/ `! a& ?; L
: K5 i F. D& b8 r1 w! ~This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore." d2 X% b5 ^% u4 E% x
/ w8 {% ~" W; v" ?' S+ M# `Thank you very much!' ]/ f5 {1 I/ h
' a" n$ M* H# @: [+ u# D5 m8 q==========================2 C9 a' W" H5 |
4 _# `/ n2 Y) l; X+ Q7 x
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:6 K7 ]- T2 z6 j6 A3 x7 D
5 ~" u% m7 T3 R/ }
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 }9 A2 W, Z' L) [# A( }
1 \) l3 J# k5 `% d
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
b2 T( F% A# A4 e2 r& h
* `7 x) T2 z' I"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
0 W5 ]( `/ m3 I
z# c; U4 c- f; DJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
, T1 G& @: J! K6 r2 n* L0 \
# B+ A1 ^3 d/ s" T$ D; V7 \& WRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 \4 `9 p$ L! Q
; B& U9 u1 U* d% u$ jThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
